Those interested in an update on the Teacher Saga...

[Poohgirl]

If you do not advocate for your child, no one will. Best of luck.

 

[CheshireVal]

It seems you won't listen to the majority of the people here who are telling you that you are being overbearing and irrational.

Continue acting the way you're acting if you insist, but I'm telling you that if you keep it up, your reputation *will* affect your daughter at school. Teachers won't want her in their classes, coaches won't want her on their teams, and directors won't give her parts in plays. Your daughter might be the sweetest girl in the world, but no one wants to deal with a psycho mom, which is the reputation you're going to have.

Ask yourself if that's really fair to your daughter?



I don't understand why you keep posting here since all you're doing is being ultra-defensive. I'm getting a sense of how the poor teacher must feel when dealing with you.

Yikes!

 

[Sandy V.]

Continue acting the way you're acting if you insist, but I'm telling you that if you keep it up, your reputation *will* affect your daughter at school.

So true.

And those who suggested last week to move your child from this classroom were in the minority compared to the overwhelming view that you back off. It may have been the viewpoint you liked the most, but it clearly wasn't the one most strongly advocated.

I really don't think you're deliberately trying to harm your child or this teacher, but in your continuing effort to make the administration, other parents, et al. agree with you and perform to your satisfaction, YOU ARE. That's what you're not seeing!!

 

[poohandwendy]

and yes, my dd likes her teacher... likes some of the kids in the class... but does NOT like going to school and at her age can't express on her own why.

PLUS, we are already dealing with professionals for her anxiety and sensory issues....

Please read the above quotes. Ok, your DD has sensory and anxiety issues and has just moved across the country to a brand new school, but you are just not willing to accept that is probably the problem...nope, it just HAS to be the teacher's fault that your DD is having trouble adjusting. You seem smart enough to connect the dots here.

 

[vickyBaby]

Your options:

a) deal with it
b) find a private school that fits your needs
c) home school

Pick one.

 

[minmate]

Please read the above quotes. Ok, your DD has sensory and anxiety issues and has just moved across the country to a brand new school, but you are just not willing to accept that is probably the problem...nope, it just HAS to be the teacher's fault that your DD is having trouble adjusting. You seem smart enough to connect the dots here.

This is my point exactly. It definitely contributes to the problem. So, why NOT try to provide what we know works... a structured environment, when she obviously needs it the most?

Somebody tell exactly what I am doing wrong here? Am I caring TOO much about the quality of education my child is receiving. Or am I caring TOO much about her self-esteem and well-being? Am I really just to go on my merry way and turn a blind-eye to what seems like such an obvious problem to me? How do I make it NOT be a problem in that way? I just don't get it.

 

[buddy&wooz]

I think you should listen to your gut. It seems pretty obvious that if you don't switch her out this is going to be an issue for the rest of the year as far as you're concerned. Do it and then live with it, whatever the outcome.

 

[tiggersmom2]

It seems you won't listen to the majority of the people here who are telling you that you are being overbearing and irrational.

Continue acting the way you're acting if you insist, but I'm telling you that if you keep it up, your reputation *will* affect your daughter at school. Teachers won't want her in their classes, coaches won't want her on their teams, and directors won't give her parts in plays. Your daughter might be the sweetest girl in the world, but no one wants to deal with a psycho mom, which is the reputation you're going to have.

Ask yourself if that's really fair to your daughter?



I don't understand why you keep posting here since all you're doing is being ultra-defensive. I'm getting a sense of how the poor teacher must feel when dealing with you.
Yikes!

ITA with everything you said! I feel so sorry for that poor teacher.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

This is my point exactly. It definitely contributes to the problem. So, why NOT try to provide what we know works... a structured environment, when she obviously needs it the most?

I just don't get why it's wrong for me to care about my child's well-being.

Then do it! Why do you keep asking our opinions? It seems like you have your mind made up already.

 

[poohandwendy]

This is my point exactly. It definitely contributes to the problem. So, why NOT try to provide what we know works... a structured environment, when she obviously needs it the most?

The only way you are going to be able to guarantee that for her is to homeschool. I have said it before...give it a chance for crying out loud. Your DD likes the teacher and likes the kids...let her adjust...it has been 16 school days.

I just don't get why it's wrong for me to care about my child's well-being.

Oh for goodness sakes, we ALL care about our childrens well being. You are going beyond that, you are trying to control the people around you to fit your Dds needs. People are just telling you to step back and give it a chance.

 

[minmate]

Okay, all, please don't get so riled and angry with me. I am not angry with you for expressing your viewpoint. I have not attacked anyone here... which can't be said in reverse. I have been personally insulted, criticized and even had my dd's neurological issues claimed as "nonsense' and imagined. If I knew with full certainty on how to proceed,I'd just do it. I need to do some thinking/venting/weighing my options here. I won't pretend that some of what's been said hasn't been hurtful. Because it has. I love coming to the 'Dis' and felt this would be a good place to think aloud and consider and get input on some of this...as opposed to talking to people here who know the teacher. I thought that would be more disrespectful to her. If insulting me or telling me how bad I am for this situation is fun and easy and puts you in a majority with others here... then by all means, flame away. I'm not here to get more of that though. I certainly don't want or need more conflict even if it's cyberspace conflict.

I hope you realize I've spent much more time here and in reflection trying to keep my communications about this with the teacher/principal to a minimum. If you recall, the principal flagged ME down. I was all set to just stand back and see how the next few weeks went. He's the one that offered up the possibility of switching and with the concerns I've expressed, I think I'd be more disrespectful to stand my ground and be adamant that this current teacher change to suit my child's needs rather than considering a potential alternative already in place. Our conversation was pretty casual last night and he just asked me to stop by today to discuss it with him further. I wanted to go in with reasons to consider or dismiss the idea of switching her... not more complaints.

 

[mum4jenn]

If you are looking for structure for your dd then maybe you should find a kindergarten that has class 5 days a week instead of the crazy schedule that school is on. I have never heard of anything like what you talked about in your other post.

Also if you keep her at that school then you need to make up your mind quickly about what you want to do. Yes she has only been in school 15 or so days but with that crazy schedule that is really equal to a couple of months. I think you really need to give the teacher a chance though if you plan on keeping her in that system. My dd loved her teacher and I did too even though she did things a bit differently than the other teachers. She had some mean kids in her room but we left her in there because dd needed to learn how to deal with all kinds of kids. First grade she made lots of friends and I had heard horror stories about the teacher...I was encouraged to get another teacher for her...I was freaking out on the inside but decided to give the teacher a chance. I am glad I did because my dd loved her and really grew in this classroom. I have no idea why other people had such a hard time with this teacher. She was a gem although she was very strict and tough but this is also something dd needed. Now in second grade dd has two teachers....they are both great teachers and there are also things I might not agree with but every teacher brings something new to my dd's learning experience. This system has a great reputation and they would not have the teacher teaching the students if they were not great teachers.

I agree that you seem to be stressing over what you view as a mistake in moving to your new area. As I said before, if you can't get dd in a full day 5 day a week program then maybe you need to look into home schooling or just go ahead and move her to another room. But you need to decide FAST.

 

[ksjayhawks]

Lots of kdg kids aren't crazy about going to school, especially all day. The greatest majority get over it eventually. Your dd is in a different learning situation than she is probably used to, with all day kindergarten and it not meeting every day as well. She is having to learn a whole new routine, way of doing things, etc. The teacher has to transition all of these kdg'ers who have varied experiences with preschool into the all day routine. It takes time to do this and it is not easy.

The current Kdg teacher's style is evidently not right for your daughter. It sounds as if the best option is to move your daughter to the teacher who offers more structure. That seems to be what your daughter needs. She is young enough, that noone will think anything of it. If you don't make it a big deal, noone else will. It might be a "storm in a teacup" for a few days, but then it will be over and done with.

If you are being given this option by the principal, I would seriously consider it. Visit the other teacher's room a few times at different times of the day, then make your decision. If you decide to move her, do so right away before any more time has passed.

Does the other teacher's class meet on the days that your daughter's doesn't? If so, all you have to say is that this schedule worked better for you due to personal/family reasons. The transition can be handled smoothly by the teacher--"This is xxxxxxx. She is going to be joining our class." No long detailed reasons, just a statement of fact and life will go on in the new kdg room. The kids will think nothing of it and they are all still so new, she will make new friends quickly and can still have her friends from the other class.

It also sounds as if you are not quite sure that you made the right move. I don't know why you moved, but we move a lot for my husbands job. Am I crazy about every move? No, but decided long ago to make the best of the moves and look for the good in the places that we move to. We have always talked to our kids about "if we still live here, that will be your >>>>" so they know that moving is always a possibility. Your dd may also be picking up some of your stress and dissatisfaction about the move. I hope that you have found a MOPS group, new neighbors group, church groups, etc to help ease your transition into the new town as well.

Good luck!

JMHO

 

[Grandma Bear]

It's KINDERGARTEN. How can a kid be "dealt a crap hand" in kindergarten?

Chill.

My granddaughter and four others in her class had a teacher who constantly put them down in front of others, found fault with all of their work and made school so unpleasant that their parents pulled them out. The
principal would not do anything. One little girl was so tramatized she refused to go to school. The school board investigated and found that the parent claims were true and that their work was not inferior to the other
students in the class. She was repremanded but not removed from the school
as she had been there a long time. She decided that since these five were several months younger than the rest that she did not want them in her room
and made them so miserable that the parents removed them from the school.

 

[RitaZ.]

If I knew with full certainty on how to proceed,I'd just do it.

There is no full certainty in life. Stop looking for that and focus on making the best decision based on the information and knowledge that you currently have. A lot of times, we've got to work with what we've got. We can't control every single thing that we don't like.

I haven't followed your whole story, but based on what I've read here, it doesn't sound like your DD is having a problem with the teacher or the class. My advice, for what it's worth... For your own peace of mind, and most importantly your DD's, step back and ease up on this. I think you are way over-thinking this situation. If your DD is having problems with anxiety, then make your decision with that angle in mind. What's more important: your DD's well-being or having a teacher and classroom that suits your standards? Remember that your DD is the one in K.

There are NO guarantees in life. Life isn't about making perfect decisions/choices, we make mistakes and learn along the way. The need to control things around us and very rigid thinking often lead to anxiety.

Good luck to you!

 

[momof2inPA]

I think you should switch her. That poor teacher had her house burn down and is under a lot of stress, and I'm sure you wouldn't want to add to that.

You're daughter might not like the new class as well, but if you don't switch her, and she doesn't get accepted to Harvard, you will regret not taking action.

 

[minmate]

I hope that you have found a MOPS group, new neighbors group, church groups, etc to help ease your transition into the new town as well.

Good luck!

JMHO

Thank you. And, yes, I was actually at MOPS this a.m., found a wonderful church that I absolutely love. The younger kids' preschool is brand new this year but I have complete confidence in their enthusiastic teachers. They (the pre-k) does things differently than I may "prefer" but I have not said a word and only offered my support and smiles. (Maybe I am the pscyho-controlling mom many are assuming here, but I tend to think not). There are some nice, fun people we've met here. My older dd has a good teacher. I'm not saying I regret the move as a whole. It's just that balanced against what we left behind, it was really great there too. And of course, I have some not-so-happy friends/family who are constantly trying to make me justify our decision to move -- that continually try to play up the good points of the old place... which is challenging to deal with. The kids in the first few days constantly asked, "Why did we have to move?" (and remember I was out here all alone w/o dh handling that with all four kids). We had tried to explain to them that ultimately this would provide for a better life with more great opportunities for them and for our family... and so on. But it's just hard (and really just venting) to see that it's not going as smoothly as it all first seemed it would. I'm a veteran mover too, and should know better, I know!

 

[minmate]

There is no full certainty in life. Stop looking for that and focus on making the best decision based on the information and knowledge that you currently have. A lot of times, we've got to work with what we've got. We can't control every single thing that we don't like.

I haven't followed your whole story, but based on what I've read here, it doesn't sound like your DD is having a problem with the teacher or the class. My advice, for what it's worth... For your own peace of mind, and most importantly your DD's, step back and ease up on this. I think you are way over-thinking this situation. If your DD is having problems with anxiety, then make your decision with that angle in mind. What's more important: your DD's well-being or having a teacher and classroom that suits your standards? Remember that your DD is the one in K.

There are NO guarantees in life. Life isn't about making perfect decisions/choices, we make mistakes and learn along the way. The need to control things around us and very rigid thinking often lead to anxiety.

Good luck to you!

thank you... some very insightful points. I appreciate that.

 

[Marseeya]

How do you know she wouldn't be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire?

My DD was being picked on by a bully and ended up in this kid's class one year. The principal offered to move DD into a different classroom, but when I looked at the class list I realized that she'd be in with a whole different set of "rough" kids! Better the devil you know... if you know what I mean.

You've said your DD likes her teacher and has made friends in this class. I can't imagine uprooting her from that, no matter how "chaotic" you view this classroom to be.

Oh, and regarding the MWF, TTH schedule, our school district did that for a few years between when my DS was in school and when my DD started. I am SO glad we missed out on that! DS had half day kindergarten (which I prefer) and DD had full day every day.

 

[kejoda]

Your options:

a) deal with it
b) find a private school that fits your needs
c) home school

Pick one.

I agree. MN generally has a great school system, yours happen to be one of them. Hard to make fair judgements on 2 weeks of school.