steve,
our thoughts and prayers are with you during this time.
as someone who has been through 4 miscarriages, i can certainly empathize with all of you at this difficult turn. it's important to recognize the loss, even though it often doesn't seem real to others, especially at this time of the year (i had one m/c on christmas day).
we are all thinking of you-know that you will get through this, together.