This just really annoys me!

[mhsjax]

Yeah, I've got girlfriends who are zeroes and 2s. They rarely eat a meal but they always have a pocket full of candy they are sucking on. What's up with that? I think of 'real' women as women who are voluputous of mind and often body. I don't dismiss the size zero girls but they are pretty high maintenence. I have a friend who is fit, an athlete and 40. She recently bought a beautiful coctail dress in a size 14. She has a great body, looks good on the beach and runs everyday as well as playing co-ed soccer all year round. Again-size 14. She is a real woman. Size 20 is only 3 sizes larger and not really that big.

I am sorry, but size 20 is BIG. A size 14 if you are tall and or big boned isn't bad. but 20 nope no way.

And why is it that it has to be size 16 or size 0-2. There are sizes 4,6,8,10,12. As usual here on the Dis it is all or nothing. I am a real woman, I am at 16 and I was at size 4 after I had 2 of my 3 kids. I was no different, except in the weight. I was just more disciplined then, and I am getting that discipline back, and it nothing to do with what is inside of me. And I assure you that when I was a size 4, I ate very healthy. Especially hard candy, the ultimate YUCK. I ate chicken fish and veggies, along with oatmeal and the occasional dessert.

 

[rigs32]

I haven't contributed because I didn't want to get angry and argue, but here is my photo. This is from Halloween 2009.



I might be 5 lbs heavier now (partly muscle), but both then and now I am mostly a size 12. I am 5'9" and curvy. If my torso were in proportion to my legs I would be 6'3". I think you can tell that my frame is not small. I register at the low end of overweight on the BMI scale. My trainer says that I often end up able to do more than he thinks I'll be able to. I walk to work - 3 mies round trip - plus lift and go to Zumba.

I can get to a size 8. I've done it. But it requires eating no more than 1200 calories a day and doing an hour of intense cardio every day. I also had an extraordinarily flexible job so I had time to plan my life around food and exercise. It wasn't heathy.

 

[bellebud]

Don't know how to make this smaller!

you look great!

Yeah, I've got girlfriends who are zeroes and 2s. They rarely eat a meal but they always have a pocket full of candy they are sucking on. What's up with that? I think of 'real' women as women who are voluputous of mind and often body. I don't dismiss the size zero girls but they are pretty high maintenence. I have a friend who is fit, an athlete and 40. She recently bought a beautiful coctail dress in a size 14. She has a great body, looks good on the beach and runs everyday as well as playing co-ed soccer all year round. Again-size 14. She is a real woman. Size 20 is only 3 sizes larger and not really that big.

I am not trying to be rude at all, I swear! But there is no way a size 20 is "not that big". I DO NOT want my daughter to think she can be a size 20 and be "healthy"... again, just no way. (I also don't want her to think she can be a size 0 and be healthy either). The extra weight on people joints, backs, the fat around the belly and heart, increased risk for just about every health problem there is - I just cannot go along w/ size 20 not being that big.

Now, I one of my sil's is small framed, 5'3", has a nice figure, but really big breasts for her size. She needed a size 14 bridesmaid dress for my wedding, because of her breasts. They needed to take that dress WAY IN everywhere else. So if we're talking about someone who has super wide shoulders or huge breasts making them these large sizes, that's different. My sil at the time was about a size 6 jeans. So she was thin.

I haven't contributed because I didn't want to get angry and argue, but here is my photo. This is from Halloween 2009.



I might be 5 lbs heavier now (partly muscle), but both then and now I am mostly a size 12. I am 5'9" and curvy. If my torso were in proportion to my legs I would be 6'3". I think you can tell that my frame is not small. I register at the low end of overweight on the BMI scale. My trainer says that I often end up able to do more than he thinks I'll be able to. I walk to work - 3 mies round trip - plus lift and go to Zumba.

I can get to a size 8. I've done it. But it requires eating no more than 1200 calories a day and doing an hour of intense cardio every day. I also had an extraordinarily flexible job so I had time to plan my life around food and exercise. It wasn't heathy.

you look great too!

 

[wvjules]

Let's not talk about the fat girls in a negative way but thin or average are fair game. They are ugly on the inside, care about no one but themselves, are high maintenance...what am I forgetting?

Oh, and I'm not a skinny woman in case you were wondering.

 

[Hoodie]

Let's not talk about the fat girls in a negative way but thin or average are fair game. They are ugly on the inside, care about no one but themselves, are high maintenance...what am I forgetting?

Oh, and I'm not a skinny woman in case you were wondering.

I saw a lot of negative comments on fat girls, with some defending them, but not really anything about thin/average girls.

Honestly though, look at the thread. That so many are ready to judge someone's health and personal habits based on weight is rather disgusting. No matter how big or small they are. There's a lot of equal opportunity judgement and bias here.

 

[jrmasm]

Yeah, I've got girlfriends who are zeroes and 2s. They rarely eat a meal but they always have a pocket full of candy they are sucking on. What's up with that? I think of 'real' women as women who are voluputous of mind and often body. I don't dismiss the size zero girls but they are pretty high maintenence. I have a friend who is fit, an athlete and 40. She recently bought a beautiful coctail dress in a size 14. She has a great body, looks good on the beach and runs everyday as well as playing co-ed soccer all year round. Again-size 14. She is a real woman. Size 20 is only 3 sizes larger and not really that big.

Can you imagine the uproar if someone said that fat girls 20s were (???). What a ridiculous generalization.

Let's not talk about the fat girls in a negative way but thin or average are fair game. They are ugly on the inside, care about no one but themselves, are high maintenance...what am I forgetting?

Oh, and I'm not a skinny woman in case you were wondering.

Back in my skinny days I was frequently stunned by the things that people thought were ok to say to me. "Why are you so skinny?" "Do you eat?" etc. I would NEVER say something like that to anyone, skinny or fat.

 

[Agri]

Even when I was 'skinny' I had problems finding clothes that fit. I have a big butt and a wide ribcage, so even when I was skinny I was a larger size than a woman at a similar weight simply due to how my body was made. When I first started getting breasts, they were less noticeable because of my ribcage. I had friends who weighed MORE than I did who were smaller sizes than me simply because of how they were built.

When my mom was a child, she had a lot of dresses made for her. I weighed less than she did as a teenager and none of the clothes fit me because we were built differently. (As much as a 4 size difference at times!!) I often had to have dresses and skirts made for me as the off-the-rack items would fall way too short in the back.

I'm definitely overweight now - for the most part, its hard for me to exercise. I can't always leave mom to go exercise (we don't have any equipment at home anymore). Its also hard to do exercise games or videos because the tv in the living room is the one she watches (definitely no room to exercise in my bedroom where the other tv is). At any rate, its still very difficult to find clothes because I'm right on the cusp now of what's available in regular stores vs having to go to a specialty store.

My reward when I eventually lose the weight and can shop at my favorite store again? Being able to buy large and x-large shirts because the smaller sizes don't fit my build.

 

[npmommie]

You don't - I'm not talking about individual people here at all, this is just a generality. Having said that, do you really think that "63.1% of adults in the U.S. were either overweight or obese in 2009." are that way because they are hitting the gym every day and watching their portion control? Seriously? Because if thats the case, we are all in trouble!




http://www.webmd.com/diet/news/20100210/percentage-of-overweight-obese-americans-swells

Do you know why 63% of adults are considered overweight? do some research about BMI. Follow the money, government funded research, drugs, connections between pharm co and the NIH, etc.......... using my dh as an example BMI would make my husband who is a marathon runner, weight lifter, and by record of his most recent bloodwork perfectly healthy, but bmi says he is overweight.
he is 5'10 and weighs in at 180, he is considered overweight. He runs a marathon race every year, which means he runs year round, he trains long and hard.
he has gotten to where the bmi says he should be and he looked gaunt.

my point is people like my dh, and professional athletes, etc are included in that 63% of "overweight" according to BMI


being overweight does not make you unhealthy. you can be considered overweight and perfectly healthy.
I have seen it a million times in practice doing physicals on patients.
of course the opposite is true as well.
you can be skinny and unhealthy, have seen that a million times too.

Good gravy, first a thread about smokers, now a thread about the obese. Throw in a thread about spanking, how old boys should be before they're allowed to go to the public bathroom alone, lying about a 4 y/o's age to get them into the parks as a 3 y/o, which way the toilet paper roll should be hung on the spool and the old standby - resort mugs and reusing them - and we'll have run the gauntlet.

Full moon's not until Saturday, folks. Pace yourselves.

 

[jenny13]

OP I agree with you about the article. I didn't take the time to read through all the posts here but I did read some and most were defending plus sized women. I'm wondering where everyone is getting their information about what is healthy. Someone can eat right and exercise and if they are still overweight then they aren't healthy. Yes they are on the right path to becoming healthy but not totally healthy. There is absolutely no way that someone size 16 (which I've seen numerous times here) is healthy. Someone who is a plus size is carrying around extra fat and that is adding to the most important muscle in our bodies, the heart. If your putting extra stress on your heart then that isn't healthy. Being overweight is a contributing factor to many health problems. So to be healthy the weight has to come off.

People may feel confident in their appearance at any size but that doesn't mean they are healthy. Ask any medical professional out there and they'll all tell you if your overweight then your not healthy. Added weight is added stress to all muscles and organs of the body. The people who have posted that they are healthy at size 16 should do some research and learn the facts.

 

[npmommie]

OP I agree with you about the article. I didn't take the time to read through all the posts here but I did read some and most were defending plus sized women. I'm wondering where everyone is getting their information about what is healthy. Someone can eat right and exercise and if they are still overweight then they aren't healthy. Yes they are on the right path to becoming healthy but not totally healthy. There is absolutely no way that someone size 16 (which I've seen numerous times here) is healthy. Someone who is a plus size is carrying around extra fat and that is adding to the most important muscle in our bodies, the heart. If your putting extra stress on your heart then that isn't healthy. Being overweight is a contributing factor to many health problems. So to be healthy the weight has to come off.

People may feel confident in their appearance at any size but that doesn't mean they are healthy. Ask any medical professional out there and they'll all tell you if your overweight then your not healthy. Added weight is added stress to all muscles and organs of the body. The people who have posted that they are healthy at size 16 should do some research and learn the facts.

Medical professional here
and you are wrong.
you can be overweight and healthy.
if just being "normal" weight makes you so healthy why so many cardiac events in "normal" weight people?

I don't want to argue the point, but had to respond to the medical professional comment

 

[luvsJack]

you look great!




I am not trying to be rude at all, I swear! But there is no way a size 20 is "not that big". I DO NOT want my daughter to think she can be a size 20 and be "healthy"... again, just no way. (I also don't want her to think she can be a size 0 and be healthy either). The extra weight on people joints, backs, the fat around the belly and heart, increased risk for just about every health problem there is - I just cannot go along w/ size 20 not being that big.

I am not commenting on whether size 20 is big or not, but on what you want your daughter to know or think about size.

After watching a lot of 12/13 year old girls and hearing some of the things they talk about, you know what I teach my dd? That is beautiful and so are her friends. They are all shapes and sizes and that is ok. That they should each strive to be the best person they can be and to love themselves just as they are. That they can be or do whatever they want and whatever their dreams are to go for it and to NEVER, EVER let their size be a factor in that.
(dd is average weight for her height and age, she has friends the same size as her, some heavier and some underweight)


Why do women even have these conversations? Why can't we just help to build each other up instead of tearing each other down all the time?

I am overweight. I KNOW that I am. I don't really need to come on a message board and read someone else telling me that. But, just as the pp said, larger women CAN be taking care of themselves and their families and CAN be happy with themselves. Really no reason to assume they can't.

Larger women CAN be healthy. Weight is ONE FACTOR--not the only factor.

Women do this to each other so much that most women have a skewed body image. Weight and size is so important to many that they end up with daughters who starve to be skinny. We put each other down whether large or small. Someone loses weight and we say "she's lost too much". Well, that is not up to us to decide, its HER body. Someone gains and we say "she's too fat" Again, not up to us. STOP JUDGING!!

Dd has a former friend that I believe has a serious eating disorder. And her mom knows it! The woman tells this child that she has a "slamming body" because the child is rail thin. (the mom is overweight and so is her other dd) She says this and then turns to me and says, "she is probably anorexic". This idiot thinks its so important that this child be thin that is ok for her to be starving herself!! That is the kind of thing that this obessession with weight is doing to people!

 

[jenny13]

Medical professional here
and you are wrong.
you can be overweight and healthy.
if just being "normal" weight makes you so healthy why so many cardiac events in "normal" weight people?

I don't want to argue the point, but had to respond to the medical professional comment

I am also a medical professional and I never said that you can't be a normal weight and be unhealthy. The majority of normal weight people with heart problems aren't eating or exercising properly.

I stand by my prior comments, you can't be overweight and healthy. The extra weight isn't healthy for anyones body. There are many factors that make someone healthy. You can't just eat well, exercise and weight 200lbs and be considered healthy. On the opposite end you can't eat fried foods, high carbs etc and weight 140 and be considered healthy.

I was pointing out the fact that if your overweight then you putting excess stress on all areas of the body. That is in no way considered healthy.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

I am very tempted to go dig out my and DH's last bloodwork to see which one of us is considered more "healthy..."

 

[npmommie]

I am also a medical professional and I never said that you can't be a normal weight and be unhealthy. The majority of normal weight people with heart problems aren't eating or exercising properly.

I stand by my prior comments, you can't be overweight and healthy. The extra weight isn't healthy for anyones body. There are many factors that make someone healthy. You can't just eat well, exercise and weight 200lbs and be considered healthy. On the opposite end you can't eat fried foods, high carbs etc and weight 140 and be considered healthy.

I was pointing out the fact that if your overweight then you putting excess stress on all areas of the body. That is in no way considered healthy.

the first two sentences I put in bold are key. so looking at someone who is "thin" and saying they are healthy is not correct.
and looking at someone who is "overweight" and saying they are UN healthy is not correct. again re-read what I wrote about BMI.
I am not in any way saying a morbidly obese 400 pound person can be heathy.
but what some are describing on this board, yes they can be perfectly healthy.

 

[diznygirl]

There is absolutely no way that someone size 16 (which I've seen numerous times here) is healthy.

There is current health, and there is future health.

My current health is unaffected by my weight. My future health may not be affected either. That's the future and no one can predict that - I may get hit by a bus tomorrow - I may get cancer and die fat and happy. Or I might lose all the weight due to food poisoning, putting stress on my heart and die of cardiac arrest in a size 4 pair of jeans.

I refuse to deal in absolutes.

Have a banana - they are healthy!

 

[ckay87]

I really hate to get involved in this because I think it's supremely stupid. But with women, clothing sizing is ALL about hips and ****s, isn't it? You can have super low body fat, but good luck getting your big broad hips into a pair of size 6 jeans!

 

[Donaldswife]

I am not commenting on whether size 20 is big or not, but on what you want your daughter to know or think about size.

After watching a lot of 12/13 year old girls and hearing some of the things they talk about, you know what I teach my dd? That is beautiful and so are her friends. They are all shapes and sizes and that is ok. That they should each strive to be the best person they can be and to love themselves just as they are. That they can be or do whatever they want and whatever their dreams are to go for it and to NEVER, EVER let their size be a factor in that.
(dd is average weight for her height and age, she has friends the same size as her, some heavier and some underweight)


Why do women even have these conversations? Why can't we just help to build each other up instead of tearing each other down all the time?

I am overweight. I KNOW that I am. I don't really need to come on a message board and read someone else telling me that. But, just as the pp said, larger women CAN be taking care of themselves and their families and CAN be happy with themselves. Really no reason to assume they can't.

Larger women CAN be healthy. Weight is ONE FACTOR--not the only factor.

Women do this to each other so much that most women have a skewed body image. Weight and size is so important to many that they end up with daughters who starve to be skinny. We put each other down whether large or small. Someone loses weight and we say "she's lost too much". Well, that is not up to us to decide, its HER body. Someone gains and we say "she's too fat" Again, not up to us. STOP JUDGING!!

Dd has a former friend that I believe has a serious eating disorder. And her mom knows it! The woman tells this child that she has a "slamming body" because the child is rail thin. (the mom is overweight and so is her other dd) She says this and then turns to me and says, "she is probably anorexic". This idiot thinks its so important that this child be thin that is ok for her to be starving herself!! That is the kind of thing that this obessession with weight is doing to people!

I agree with everything you are saying. I am overweight as well.....SIZE 20. I don't need to be slammed for my weight, believe me I feel it EVERYDAY.

I don't get upset because someone else is thin, I don't tell people they need to eat, I also don't look at someone who is overweight and automatically assume they are lazy and unhealthy either.

Women are horrible about judging each other: on weight, how we parent, whether or not we work outside the home.....and it is so damaging. I have been thin, I have been about 30 pounds (and two pants sizes) heavier than where I am now, but the judgement never stops. I don't think that is something FD or other men can understand. It turns into a vicious cycle, and women will absolutely try to derail you. We don't compete with or condemn men like this, but we do it to each other all the time.

 

[jenny13]

the first two sentences I put in bold are key. so looking at someone who is "thin" and saying they are healthy is not correct.
and looking at someone who is "overweight" and saying they are UN healthy is not correct. again re-read what I wrote about BMI.
I am not in any way saying a morbidly obese 400 pound person can be heathy.
but what some are describing on this board, yes they can be perfectly healthy.

I never said that being thing makes someone healthy. I already said that thin people can be unhealthy as well. I'm also not going by BMI as I don't agree with some of the standards.

I didn't read through all posts on here only a few. I agree that eating right and exercising are an excellent start to living a healthy lifestyle. I am also not referring to someone who is slightly overweight.

The point I was trying to make is the extra weight isn't good for a body. With added weight comes added stress to the body. That is in no way healthy.

 

[Goofycampers]

Wow Im joining this late but it definitely is a touchy subject. I don't think the op was trying to attack anybody. The hard fact is society is beginning to accept obesity as part of the norm. Now you may be larger and have all the right blood work numbers and may be thin and be one of the unlucky ones to have bad cholesterol, etc. But as a nurse I can tell you the fact is being overweight contributes to alot of the major health problems Americans face.

 

[jenny13]

I agree with everything you are saying. I am overweight as well.....SIZE 20. I don't need to be slammed for my weight, believe me I feel it EVERYDAY.

I don't get upset because someone else is thin, I don't tell people they need to eat, I also don't look at someone who is overweight and automatically assume they are lazy and unhealthy either.

Women are horrible about judging each other: on weight, how we parent, whether or not we work outside the home.....and it is so damaging. I have been thin, I have been about 30 pounds (and two pants sizes) heavier than where I am now, but the judgement never stops. I don't think that is something FD or other men can understand. It turns into a vicious cycle, and women will absolutely try to derail you. We don't compete with or condemn men like this, but we do it to each other all the time.

People in general judge others, whether it be men or women. I'm certainly not saying someone has to be size 2 to be healthy, or 4, 6,8 or even 10. I'm sure when you go to the doctor you hear that you should lose weight. It's not about being happy at any size, it's about being healthy.

The post you had replied to had talk of anorexia, which is a huge concern along with other eating disorders. It's not right for parents, peers or anyone else to pressure a girl to be thin. However it's not wrong for those same people to try to instill healthy eating either.

As a parent I am certainly concerned about my children's weight. I make healthy meals, and purchase healthy snacks for them. That is instilling good eating choices into their daily lives. That will only help them as they grow into adults. Does being concerned about my children's weight make me a bad parent? No it doesn't, it makes me concerned for their well being. Of course that is hard at times, and my children are allowed not so good snacks occasionally also, just not on a daily basis. There is nothing wrong with being concerned about a child's eating habits, as long as it's done the right way.