This isn't wrong, is it?

[la79al]

I know you understand where I am coming from. You spend a lot of time trying to come up with the perfect gift for your child, go to a zillion stores to find it, make sure you have batteries and wrap it up extra nice. It's exactly what they've been wanting. A week later, they don't remember that they got it and you find it months later, stuffed under the bed or under a pile of clothes in the closet. Well I am tired of this cycle. I have decided that for the foreseeable future, we will be getting my stepkids money for birthdays/Christmas. Not only are they saving for Disney but they like watching their savings accounts grow. I figure why spend hundreds of dollars on stuff they won't really play with anyhow. This makes sense right? It's not just me being evil and cruel, is it?

 

[daisyduck123]

Sounds great to me!

 

[Neesy228]

I totally understand where you're coming from -- we've seen it countless times! And often, the little trinket gift I threw in at the last minute is the bigger hit than the big huge "I really want it" gift. That drives me crazy!

However, I don't think I would just get my (step) kids money for an occasion....maybe a smaller, less anticipated gift and then money? I think they should have something to open for their birthdays - at least from their parents. IMHO.

 

[yrdlyprincess]

Oh yeah!! I have just been going through our basement (that's where all the toys are) but I have told my children b4 that you not only can't ask/get a lot of toys bc you have so many but bc wouldn't you like to go to Disney again?? I have said that a few too many times bc now when we are grocery shopping both my 8 & 4 year old say "Here's a coupon so we can save money- to go to Disney" Nice, but don't make me feel like I can't rub to nickels together!! I also put away a certain amount of their toys on totes & rotate- so it's liek new toys every couple months!

 

[NotUrsula]

I find that this is a symptom of "too many gifts at once". I found that the only way to combat it to restrict holidays to no more than 2 toy gifts on any one occasion. I know that in a stepfamily situation you cannot control what the other parent gives, but cutting back on the sheer number of gifts is what worked for us.

When more distant relatives give cash/gift cards, I hold it and don't let them have it for the holiday itself; I wait until a slower time of the year when they are really wanting something, then bring it out and let them spend it then (giving proper credit to the giver, of course.) Of course, if you do this then you have to explain it to the relative who gave cash; that there won't be a thank-you coming from the child right away because the child doesn't know that the gift exists.

 

[*Seanaci*]

Shoot, I'm sure your step kids will be greatful for it, especially since they are saving for Disney.

 

[Louisianafive]

This Christmas my MIL gave me $100 per child to buy gifts from her,(I have 3 DD's). This is not the first year. Anyway, I gave each $50 to spend and am saving the other $50 for summer activities. They had a blast shopping!!!!!

You are not doing anything wrong giving money as gifts.
My oldest DD is my step daughter and she loved it just as much as my other 2!

 

[disneyjunkie]

I know you understand where I am coming from. You spend a lot of time trying to come up with the perfect gift for your child, go to a zillion stores to find it, make sure you have batteries and wrap it up extra nice. It's exactly what they've been wanting. A week later, they don't remember that they got it and you find it months later, stuffed under the bed or under a pile of clothes in the closet. Well I am tired of this cycle. I have decided that for the foreseeable future, we will be getting my stepkids money for birthdays/Christmas. Not only are they saving for Disney but they like watching their savings accounts grow. I figure why spend hundreds of dollars on stuff they won't really play with anyhow. This makes sense right? It's not just me being evil and cruel, is it?

Do your stepkids live with you?

What about the baby? Will he/she receive gifts? If so, how do you think the other children will feel about this.

How does dad feel about the change?

 

[An_Island_Girl]

In our family, "You only get if you give".

Younger children can round up old toys and cloths for donation, offer to walk an elderly neighbors dog, organize a neighborhood beach clean up, etc. The older you get, the more you have to "give".

My stepsons are actually the ones that inspire me in all of their volenteering efforts. When they clear out some of thier older unused toys and items, then they have much more room for newer items, and those new things are less likely to get lost in the shuffle.

We do give gifts as well as put money away into a college fund for each child's birthday.

 

[kellyg403]

Heck no! Depending on their ages it probably is exactly what they are wanting anyway.

2 years ago I stopped buying a lot of items for Christmas for the teens, got a few things they needed or asked for and gave them visa gift cards for the rest. Now, we go out the day after Christmas and everybody shops for the styles, games etc they want. It has been really helpful in teaching them money doesn't grow on trees, sales are great and just because you like something doesn't mean you need it. I wish I had done it sooner. I like it so much that during the summer, at the beginning of each month I give each of them a reloadable visa for snacks and things they want. I no longer buy all kinds of snacks and junk for them to eat while I am working. If they want something in the junk food category they have to buy it. I got really tired of hitting the grocery store for 'snacks' because they would eat it all in a matter of hours. Now, they are wiser!

Kelly

 

[roscoepc1]

My kids don't get what they THINK they want on a whim. They get stuff I know they need, or tried and true stuff.

For example, with very few exceptions, the only toys they get now are Barbie, dress-up stuff, webkinz or Polly Pocket. Anything else? Nope....btdt, donated it.

They get clothes. Santa brings a DVD or two. Jewelry (they're on the cusp of the "clothing years" and like being fashionable)....belts, hats etc....craft stuff....

They each get a large package of plain white paper on their birthdays...you'd think it was solid gold!

This year, Santa put Disney Dollars in their stockings...

The tooth fairy brought a disney dollar for the last tooth....

I refuse to fall into the "modern trap" of buying them stuff on whims....they don't need it, they don't really want it, and I refuse to waste the money. Jmho.

 

[Darcy03231]

I don't know how old the children are but here's what we did. When they were younger and believed I was able to get quite a few presents for not a lot of $$. As they got older of course they wanted more expensive stuff, but the flip side was they didn't believe anymore. DH and decided that we would not do a big Christmas each year plus a big family trip. Once the youngest stopped believing we told them this. They all chose the big family trip. Each year I give them a budget in September/October. Each child researches where he/she wants to go, why it would make a good family destination, what there is to do, etc., and they have to stay in budget. On Christmas Day they get a few small presents (DVDs, clothes, etc) and they pitch their presentations. We all vote (Mom and Dad have the final say). Its really been a lot of fun and very educational. Each child has had their trip chosen at least once. Sometimes when the pitches are made a child changes their mind and thinks another trip sounds better than the one he or she planned. We end up taking the trip either over spring break or in the summer. We've been doing it since 2003 and so far no one has had any complaints. This year's trip is a cruise. I'm happy because I'm not spending money on junk they really don't want or need, DH is happy because he doesn't have to shop, and the kids are happy because they get to go somewhere every year. We have lots of great memories of our past trips. In fact, the kids love to drag out of the photo albums and go through all the pictures and reminesce (sp) about what a great time they had and the funny things that have happened.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Will you be doing the same thing for your bio children? If not then I think you are going to cause a rift with this plan. Sorry but I get that kids can be this way with gifts, but there has to be a better solution. Maybe buy less for all of them? I don't know but I wouldn't single out just the stepkids. JMHO.

 

[AKBAFB]

It sounds like a good plan. By the time my youngest daughter was 2, I was done with the toy overload thing at Christmas and Birthdays! My husband and I started getting the kids mainly things they needed like new clothes or shoes (again, not just stuff they wanted, but needs - like if they're tennis shoes were getting a bit small or jeans worn out, we would get them new ones) and maybe a small treat gift (usually art supplies or a book) along with a nice deposit into their college savings account. We even had a conversation with the grandparents where we basically said, we don't expect gifts, we appreciate everything you do for the kids, but please scale back on the toys and if you would like, you can put the money into their savings too. We didn't say anything to aunts and uncles or friends, so the kids still get some toys, but not the crazy, overwhelming amount they used to.

 

[pixiewings71]

I wouldn't do it unless I was doing it for all kids in my family (step or bio) but this is a good idea. We don't really do toys anymore anyway, just a few small ones, we normally do movies, CD's, gift cards or Disney dollars, trading pins, things like that.

 

[DWFan4Life]

I know you understand where I am coming from. You spend a lot of time trying to come up with the perfect gift for your child, go to a zillion stores to find it, make sure you have batteries and wrap it up extra nice. It's exactly what they've been wanting. A week later, they don't remember that they got it and you find it months later, stuffed under the bed or under a pile of clothes in the closet. Well I am tired of this cycle. I have decided that for the foreseeable future, we will be getting my stepkids money for birthdays/Christmas. Not only are they saving for Disney but they like watching their savings accounts grow. I figure why spend hundreds of dollars on stuff they won't really play with anyhow. This makes sense right? It's not just me being evil and cruel, is it?

Yes, it makes sense. It's not you being evil, they still realized that the money you save goes to a great purpose which is going to Disney. So, they won't think that your evil.

 

[Tjkane28]

This makes sense right? It's not just me being evil and cruel, is it?

The mere fact you are asking this question should speak volumes to you.

 

[dahrjo]

DS7 always asks for a mood necklace he sees, when we go to this one store.

I bought one for his stocking and knew he'd really like it. He wore it a couple days and SOLD it to a neighbor boy for $10.00!!!!

He did make a profit, but I had him give the money back and get his Christmas gift explaining why he shouldn't do that.