DisneyJamieCA
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2007
- Messages
- 8,054
Also, can I just say I HATE when I hear people say "be strong for the kids" "I have to be strong for the kids" It's OKAY for your children to see you lose it, especially in moments like that! I see so many kids not know how to react to something because the adults around them are so scared to allow them to see real emotion! It's ok for them to realize sometimes life is sad, and sometimes we cry, breakdown, and then we show them life still goes on. Its important for kids to see that.
I will respectively disagree with you as well. I did see your further post about them being older, but I don’t think that really matters. I am not saying adults/parent should show no emotion, but falling apart isn’t good for the kids either. There is a difference between crying and breaking down and kids need to know they have a place to go. Not a death in a family, but we had a traumatic event happen to my oldest; what she needed from me then was to be strong and I needed to show her was we would get through it - this wasn’t the end. If I couldn’t be strong in front of her, she’d believe her own worst fears about the future. I broke down away from her, when I was questioning it myself.
As someone who lost a parent when I was 8 I'll just have to disagree with you.
A little crying is fine but had my mom broken down in front of us I would have been terrified. What we needed was for her to be strong and let us feel that we were safe and we were going to be ok.
I know she went other places when she just couldn't handle it and I'm grateful for that.
I know how to grieve but I also know how to survive.
I’m sorry for your loss and I completely agree.