This is the worst week of my life

[ZehnJahren]

He's getting in contact with me via facebook through his female friend. (She's more like my friend now) . She told me he keeps asking her to tell me how sorry he is . She sent me a message he wrote her and I just rolled my eyes he went on and on about how much he loves my kids . I told her to tell him that I don't want to hear his fake I'm sorrys and to never speak to or contact me again.

I would have taken a picture of the bruise, sent it, and said "no, THIS is how much he loves us. So please don't contact me on his behalf again."

What a lowlife. Good luck to you.

 

[Zim]

It's tough to hear all the groveling and wonder if it might work out. It sounds like you've got that under control. In your weak moments look at your kids because if you have a daughter, she likely will follow the pattern you provide for her (so will a son). Part of that is what people feel they deserve and can cope with based on what they grew up around. it's an amazing thing when someone can grow out of a bad pattern but its hard to do. Find a strong father figure for them to imprint on.,, not someone who pummels their mom when they can't control their anger issues. The minute you take him back is the minute he gets confirmation his behavior was acceptable. Or just be a strong single mom I've managed it for the past 14 years and have an amazing DD15 to show for it. no regrets here.

 

[crisi]

If you keep getting the run around from the detective once you return.

Our county under the office of the County Attorney's office offers a Victims Advocate.

In Minnesota a restraining order is a civil document - you don't need a case. You would need to pay for it.

 

[bdcp]

I went to the criminal courthouse to obtain a restraining order as soon as I could . The clerk behind the desk told me that she cannot issue me a restraining order without him having been arrested first. I thought the police issued a warrant as soon as I was attacked and that was wrong as well. The detective is the one who issued the warrant. I don't know why they haven't arrested him yet . I sent the detective another email yesterday asking him to keep in contact with me about any updates reguarding my case.

He's getting in contact with me via facebook through his female friend. (She's more like my friend now) . She told me he keeps asking her to tell me how sorry he is . She sent me a message he wrote her and I just rolled my eyes he went on and on about how much he loves my kids . I told her to tell him that I don't want to hear his fake I'm sorrys and to never speak to or contact me again.

This is precisely why I'm deleting my facebook. I want there to be no possible way I will hear from him.

They are always sorry. He can be sorry, and you can forgive him, but that doesn't mean you have to let him back into your life. Abuse is a deal breaker for me. I have never been abused (married 32 years to a wonderful man) but have friends who have been. Most got out, one got out because her husband died not long after of a heart attack. Those who stayed married did so because their spouse got help. This guy was just your boyfriend. Do not go back to him and /ormarry him because this will happen again and again. And, possibly to your kids. You need to protect them.

 

[goNDmay9]

Isn't today Day one of vacay??? Sending hugs and good vibes. Cannot wait to hear about the trip when you get back. Plus, you can let us know how well you did on your budget!!!

Have a blast!!

 

[lauradis]

Wow...she died from one punch? I could've died as well. When he kicked me and I fell into the bathtub my head hit the faucet nearly breaking it off . If I would've lost consciousness he probaly would've just ran out the door leaving my body with my kids...I feel sick just thinking about that scenario.

He doesn't deserve to say sorry. Block him and everyone else that he is using to contact you . He leaves letters make copy give it to police, screen shot stuff off facebook give copy to police...

But in now way shape or form should you ever reply to him. He will stop trying to hound you in time, change your number don't give it out till its over.

I wouldn't talk to anyone that has anything to do with him and I would tell them what he did will not be tolerated period, please don't contact me or my family.

There is power in taking back control use it.

Have great trip.

 

[snowwite]

I am just astounded by the lack of empathy and the sheer meanness of some of the comments. This woman had the strength to come on here and tell people about her abuser. She was looking for a little support and advice. If you could not offer either one then why comment at all? She could be your friend, your sister, your mother or your neighbor. How can people be so small that they cannot imagine how it feels to be a victim? I've learned a few things and one of them is you don't give a man like that the power to continue to harm you or your children. She took the kids on a preplanned cruise and trip to Disney which is exactly what she should do. To stay home lets this dirtbag win and teaches the kids to be afraid and that might makes right. It took courage to come on here and admit what he did and it took guts to carry on as if he did not do it. If don't have something nice to say the please say nothing at all.

To the OP, I'm not sure if you will see this before you get back but I hope you and your kids have a wonderful trip. I'm sorry that you are going through this but it will make you stronger. Trust me on this. You will glad you did not let this monster take this trip and the memories you will make away from you and your kids.
You already got a lot of money saving ideas for meals. You will be fine on $600 with small kids. Coco Key where you are staying had a free breakfast when we stayed there as well as free water park and minigolf. If you have a kitchen get some food at shops like fruit,cheese,cereal and milk. I'm assuming you will have a rental car as it is off site. Try Sweet Tomatoes over at Crossroads. It is a buffet but all fresh fruit/veg, salads, baked potatoes, pizza, pasta,soups and desserts and drinks and it is cheap. I think it was $12 for me and my daughter in June. Have a terrific time.
Stay strong.

 

[NHTikiBeckie]

I am just astounded by the lack of empathy and the sheer meanness of some of the comments. This woman had the strength to come on here and tell people about her abuser. She was looking for a little support and advice. If you could not offer either one then why comment at all? She could be your friend, your sister, your mother or your neighbor. How can people be so small that they cannot imagine how it feels to be a victim? I've learned a few things and one of them is you don't give a man like that the power to continue to harm you or your children. She took the kids on a preplanned cruise and trip to Disney which is exactly what she should do. To stay home lets this dirtbag win and teaches the kids to be afraid and that might makes right. It took courage to come on here and admit what he did and it took guts to carry on as if he did not do it. If don't have something nice to say the please say nothing at all.

To the OP, I'm not sure if you will see this before you get back but I hope you and your kids have a wonderful trip. I'm sorry that you are going through this but it will make you stronger. Trust me on this. You will glad you did not let this monster take this trip and the memories you will make away from you and your kids.
You already got a lot of money saving ideas for meals. You will be fine on $600 with small kids. Coco Key where you are staying had a free breakfast when we stayed there as well as free water park and minigolf. If you have a kitchen get some food at shops like fruit,cheese,cereal and milk. I'm assuming you will have a rental car as it is off site. Try Sweet Tomatoes over at Crossroads. It is a buffet but all fresh fruit/veg, salads, baked potatoes, pizza, pasta,soups and desserts and drinks and it is cheap. I think it was $12 for me and my daughter in June. Have a terrific time.
Stay strong.

Looks like the mods removed the comments from the user who said she deserved it, very happy to see that.

 

[usd2bmd]

Thank you. That is exactly why I posted. My cruise is in 4 days . If I cancelled now i'd lose 90% of what I paid. My airplane tickets are non refundable. I got a reduced rate for booking my hotel way in advance its non refundable/transferable . My mnsshp tickets are already purchased . I'd lose money on that. I don't want to lose all of that money when I could actually be out showing my kids a good time. If I just sit home what would that accomplish? Than my kids would be extremely disappointed. I stayed at a motel the days after the assault because I was afraid he'd get some of his friends/family to come and assault me for calling the police on him. He can't break into my apartment. I have deadbolt locks and all of my windows have bars on them . In highrise buildings if you have children the windows have to have bars on them . I'm not so worried now because the detective dropped a warrant to arrest him and he said they're going to find him as soon as possible.

To answer the bolded. if you stay home he wins... he succeeds in disrupting your life more than he already has. I have never been in your situation but I feel for you. Your kids need this trip but so do you. You need it to remember that there is still fun to be had in the world. Go and enjoy the time with your kids.

 

[mrsklamc]

He leaves letters make copy give it to police, screen shot stuff off facebook give copy to police...

Worth repeating, especially if they specifically acknowledge guilt.

 

[kymom99]

Wondering how the vacation went. Hope the OP posts an update!

 

[AlyssinWonderland]

OP- I really hope you post to let us know how your trip went! I hope you had a magical time and great break! My prayers and thoughts are with you!

 

[disneylove69]

Hope u had a good time. As far as the **** you need to make sure you change the locks, get a restraining order, change your ph# and prosecute him!!!!! Take him to civil court for damages and the hotel fees. You and your kids deserve the best

 

[JoShan1719]

OP I hope your trip was wonderful! Please come update!

 

[kiki02]

I'm so sorry for you. You deserve better. CHIN UP . work hard and take time for yourself and kids.

Don't let this bring you down. If you do, then 'they' win....

 

[Schrute Farms]

I just listened to the podcast and heard about this thread. I had to check it out. I am heart broken for you that this happened.

No woman deserves this. Please love on your children for us.

I hope you went and had a great vacation.