This is going to be a long summer!

[bobcat]

I'm trying not to overreact but I need some suggestions on how to deal with some neighborhood kids. We have a group of unsupervised kids that are bullying the smaller kids and now I find out they were in my yard and broke my son's bat!

Yesterday my kids went to the park that is right behind my house. I can see them playing from my back yard so I feel comfortable letting them go back there for a short period of time as long as I can see them and check in on them. They are 11 and 8 and I live in an extreemly small town, not even a stop light, and we look out for each other and each others kids. A week or so ago my son had his bike stolen at the playground but I knew the boy and saw him riding it and my son chasing after him so I yelled at him and he gave it back. Ok no more riding the bike back to the park.

Our new neighbors that I don't know have told all the neighborhood boys that they can use the basketball court anytime, even when they aren't home so I have basketball noise at all hours right outside my window. Not a huge problem and as long as the kids are being good it doesn't bother me. Well I am now finding lots of trash from these boys in my yard, including glass from the basketball backboard that they broke. The net is across the alley so in order for the glass to get into my yard it would have to be thrown. I cleaned all this up and never said a word. The basketballs go into my fenced yard so I now have a broken fence where the boys have climbed over it to get their balls. I have a dog and have to keep her tied up until I can get it fixed. The boys have started teasing the dog and the language they use is offensive. Needless to say I am getting fed up.

Back to yesterday... the kids went into the park and a few minutes later my daughter comes racing back saying that three boys are chasing my 8yo son and one is trying to choke him. I took off back to the park and found three of the boys, one who wasn't actually doing anything, and the other boy took off. One boy lives across the street so I know him and I really yelled at him for standing by letting his "friends" do that. His dad was outside and saw me take off out of the house so he came back to see what was going on and basically told his son the same thing and asked me if he could do anything. I told the other two boys that if this happened again I was going to call the police and to expect a phone call to their parents. The last boy that ran off I never did see but he was aparently at the community hall for a wedding reception and I had a little run in with his big brother, lets just say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. This kid is from out of town and I found out after the fact that the boy was suspened from my kids elementary and moved to another school. I talked to the mom of the neighbor boy, the one I yelled at, and this boy has been threatened by some of these boys and basically told that they were going to beat him up so bad he would have to crawl home. She contacted our local police chief and he said that one of the boys is trouble but that it was boys just being boys. They really aren't going to do anything about it.

Tonight my son went into our backyard and there were a couple of boys in it, different boys, and they were tearing up my sons plastic bat and when they saw him they threw it back into the yard and took off.

This is the last thing I want to deal with the entire summer. I have lived here 8 years and never had this type of a problem. My next step is to call the police and report this but I am not sure they will do anything. I'm not sure talking to the parents will do any good after talking with a couple of neighbors. The parents let the kids run wild and they don't have any consequences for these boys. I am afraid of what might happen next. Will I come home and find my house broken into? I am furious and not sure what else I can do. I teach so I will be home all summer but this is not the way I want to spend my time.

 

[JohnTBap]

You've been too nice. Call the police and have them come by. Best of luck to you.

 

[Pam]

I agree with JTB - you can't continue living like this.....

 

[lisajl]

Definately call the police. You never know what will happen next.
Are you a SAHM? I would be worried what they would do if you were not at home. Keep the dog away from them, but especially keep your kids away from them.
I don't consider that boys being boys. My oldest son is 8, almost 9 and he does not act that way.

No excuse for behaving like that!

Lisajl

 

[Kallison]

Yikes - how old are these bully kids? I would call the police, don't even try to deal with the parents (unless they are sympathetic, like your neighbor across the street). Document everything. Eventually the police will get tired of hearing it and do something about it. Good luck, you shouldn't have to live this way.

 

[Marla Hellwig]

I would be calling the police - every day if I had to

 

[CEDmom]

I would definitely call the police. I would also have a talk with the neighbor that's allowing these boys to play on their basketball court whenever they want. The neighbor might want to check their homeowner's insurance before allowing unsupervised minors on their property. Also, if other children are having problems with these boys would it be possible to setup a neighborhood watch?

I hope things get better for you.

 

[Tuffcookie]

Lisa, Find out their names and then visit the juvenile prosecutor in your county. You should be able to find out how much of a previous record they have and talk to a prosecutor to find out what your options are. You should also start making police reports whenever anything happens. I would avoid any sort of personal confrontation with the juvenile delinquents, as tempting as it is, and only let the law deal with them. Once you get emotionally involved in a one-on-one interaction with them, you will always be watching your back. Are any of your other neighbors being bothered by these boys??? There is power in numbers but I know what it's like to be the only one with enough guts to speak up! Hope this helps.

TC

 

[bobcat]

One of the boys came over and apologized to both my son and myself today. He was one of the boys that watched and he said that he was sorry that he didn't do anything to stop the bigger boy from bullying my son. He seemed pretty sincere and I told him I hoped he meant what he said but only time will tell.

As soon as my neighbors get home I am going to talk with them about their basketball playing boys. They are a young couple in their mid twenties with a toddler and I don't know if they have even thought about the liability issue. I hope they are receptive to what I have to say since we will probably be neighbors for quite a while. If not then I guess we won't have a friendly relationship.

I have documented the boys names and when and what happened, and I am going to take pictures of my fence and the damage done. I bought a No Trespassing and a Beware of Dog sign and will post those along the alley. Now I just need to call the police and file a report. I found out that two of the boys don't live in town so hopefully we won't see them again. Thanks for the support and advice. I was so mad I couldn't see straight. I needed a little time to calm down and make sure I wasn't overreacting. This will get taken care of one way or another.

Lisa I teach so I am home along with the kids. I went into full teacher mode when I yelled at the boys and I know for a fact I scared some sense into the neighbor boy. I'm pretty easygoing most of the time but don't get me mad. I understand middle schoolers and know that the peer pressure is tough but that's no excuse for being a rotten bully. It's bad enough that I have to act in the parent role as a teacher but that I have to do it to my neighborhood kids as well is frustrating.

 

[browneyes]

I know exactly how you feel. Except, in my case, most of these kids are my SO's family.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd be calling the police every time something happened if for no other reason than to have a paper trail so that you have proof that you were reporting things. Wjhen I reported it, I would get the name and badge # of the officer taking the report, and keep a log of who,what,where,when. If it continued and the police still conitnued with the "boys being boys" mentality, I'd be talking to the police chief and letting him know about the ineffectiveness of his police force in your town.

We had a bunch of kids around the corner from me who had those mini bike/motor scooter things that they used to ride all over the neighborhood. Well, I didn't care about that so much(even though my dog took GREAT offense to it ), but they would go flying out of the side street next to my house onto the main road that my house faces without so much as pausing at the corner to look and see if a car was coming over the crest of the hill. I called the police about 5 times, and finally in my last call I said "One day, one of these kids is going to get killed by a car cresting that hill and wind up laying dead on my front lawn. When that happens, you can bet that every newspaper in this area is going to know how many times I called the police department and how many times you did nothing". Shortly after that, the mini-bike riding stopped. I like police officers, my father was a police officer for 25 years, but sometimes you have to use a little bit of obnoxiousness to make your point.

 

[bobcat]

Disney Doll there are only two full time officers so it's not hard to remember which one took the report. I live in Mayberry and sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with Barny Fife. If they don't do anything I will go to the sheriff since they deal with any reports after hours.