Things you just shouldn't have to say to your children...

[momm2four]

My friends and I are always kidding about me writing a book entitled, "Things you shouldn't have to say to your children" I'll be on the phone and say something to one of my boys, she'll laugh and say that's one for the book!

I thought it would be fun (and maybe a little consoling) to hear things that other people have found themselves saying to their kids that you would never think you'd have to say.

I'll start with a few that I have found myself saying to my children...

-We do not nail fruit to the bathroom door.

-Do not put that banana in the ceiling fan.

-We don't eat ants!

-Peanut butter doesn't belong in your hair.

I'd love to hear some of yours!
Lori P.

 

[Blondie]

It says dog food for a reason, so get your head out of the dog's bowl!

 

[wishuponastarforever]

We had two cabins on the Disney Magic for our 25th anniversary. One for DH and I and the other for three grown children.

Never thought I should have said to my 15 year old male
"Please don't climb from one balcony to the other while the ship is at sea".

I still have nightmares over this one and it was 5 years ago

YIKES

 

[Kermit]

LOL Blondie! DH and I are always saying that we should give the dog food to the baby and the baby's food to the dog. They'd both be happier.

 

[Beauty]

Do not scare the people going into the mall!

My child loves looking up at the 2nd story and yelling DON'T JUMP!!!!!!

Of course people all are startled and look up and of course there is no one up there.

I'm laughing about the balcony because it sounds just like something my 2 would do (2 being my 12 year old and my HUSBAND!)

 

[CheshireVal]

My mom used to say to me: "Cows graze. People sit down and eat."

 

[Chipmunk]

Things I never thought I'd have to say to my middle school students, but I have:


"Get your pants off your head." (The kid did have regular pants on too. These were an extra pair of gym shorts he was bringing home to get washed that he was wearing like a nun's habit.)

"Stop sniffing each other's shoes and get back to class." (A few students were standing around sniffing the inside of each others shoes.)

 

[MosMom]

- You don't own a pair of underwear without poop in them

I got a pair of clean undies out for Mo and she whined that there was a poop stain in the bum (skidmark). We struggle with proper bum wiping.

 

[nealymouse]

How on earth am I going to get your hamster out of the VCR ??

Honey I wish mommy could fixed a "diedFrog"

 

[momm2four]

How on earth am I going to get your hamster out of the VCR

Oh, my goodness! Please explain that one. Even with four boys of my own, I can't imagine how that one happened, lol

Lori P.

 

[HappyMommy2]

Just today, to my 2-year-old:

PLEASE don't put lipstick on the cat!!

 

[Melora]

Please stop rolling around and go put on some underwear, none of us need an anatomy lesson right now.. (said to the 3 year old)

Please do not sit on the cat (also said to the 3 year old)

 

[TeresaNJ]

Oh my gosh, these are hysterical!!!

 

[Lars624]

LOL! My friends & I have exactly the same conversation, momm2four
how about.............
"Get that cheese off your forehead"

 

[christineann]

to my 16 year old daughter today:

"Laura, maybe you had better stop dropping your clothes on the floor. The puppies are playing tug of war with one of your sports bras in the back yard"

 

[edcrbnsoul]

Just because you have a cape on doesn't mean you can fly!

 

[Roemama1]

These are soooo funny. I'll have to pay more attention to what I say to my two DD's so that I can contribute.

 

[tigercat]

How about...speggetti belongs in your mouth not on the ceiling.
This was told to my teenagers after I came home and found speggetti hanging from my ceiling. They were "trying" to find out if the speg. was done.
Also said to my 6 yr. old son....Dolls are not to "bungee" jump with the cord tied around their necks. Said during a meeting at my house when all of a sudden Cabbage Patch Kids were "bungee jumping" (hanging by their necks..) down the stairs and right in front of us. Talk about embarrassing.
tigercat

 

[kadaten]

"No, Abbie, you are not allowed to squish your brother."
(after she asked ever so politely)

 

[MosMom]

You put batteries in the dogs nose?

As poor old McGee sits there patiently with a AA battery hanging out of each nostril.