Things you just shouldn't have to say to your children...

[Lorix2]

"Help her! Get that ant out of your sister's nose!" (to my DS6 after he put a live ant up my DD12's nose while she was pretending to sleep). Oh the faces she made, it was actually hysterical

Dog's don't wear lipstick!

 

[binny]

no paper airlplanes do NOT fly better if you put them on the ceiling fan first but thanks for trying.


the dog is NOT a horse. One does not ride the dog. The dog does not like to be ridden. NO we can NOT get a saddle for the dog.
and any other way I can say that 50 times a day.


we do not write with chalk on the walls/carpet/door/window.

 

[nealymouse]

How am I going to get your hamster out of the VCR....well

My 4 yr old DD at the time was sitting in front of the tv watching Barney on a tape holding her hamster Bethany. Ran up stairs for a minunt came down and saw the Barney tape sitting on the floor. Not thinking anything of it I asked if she wanted to watch another tape. NO Sarah say and starts to look a little funny when I realized there was no Bethany. Asked Sarah where she was and I get the classic Idontnoo. Started looking around the house when it dawned on me the Barney tape was out. Got a flash light looked in the VCR and guess what ?? Found Bethany.

I learned that day how to take apart and put together a TV VCR combo LOL.

Bethany lived threw the ordeal thank goodness.


Beth

 

[CdnDisneyNut]

Thanks for sharing. Glad I was not drinking anything while reading or I would have my drink all over my keyboard

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

Gadzooks these are soooooo funny!!


Said in our household

"No, the toilet is not a foot bath. Please take your FEET out of the potty."

followed by

"What do you mean you THINK you flushed the wash cloth?"

 

[Serena]

LOL!!!!

 

[2bemarried]

I now have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard over the hamster in the vcr and cat with lipstick

 

[hipporina]

To my then 7 yo ds:

"DO NOT rinse your toothbrush in the toilet!" What was he thinking?!?!

 

[Tiiiigergirl]

said to 7 year old son after school

"Now think, where did you leave your underwear?"

 

[twinmomplus2new]

We do not sit on the dog.
We do not sit on the dog naked.

Please do not stand on the deck rail and pee over the side.

What are you doing Writing on the rug with Permanent Markers!!!!!!! Response( Making a treasure map)

The UPS man does not want to see your privates. Do Not open that door!!! And when they do open the door trying to sign for a package while they run around screaming, I am Nakey. It is very disracting for the UPS man! Trust me.

Sense a trend here, 3 year olds who strip about 3 times a day.

 

[MosMom]

Originally posted by Tiiiigergirl
said to 7 year old son after school

"Now think, where did you leave your underwear?"

I asked myself that in college a few times after a wild night

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

No you cannot go down the laundry chute.

No you can't put your sister down the laundry chute.

 

[KimRaye]

Originally posted by Beth E. (NJ)
No you cannot go down the laundry chute.

No you can't put your sister down the laundry chute.

ROFLOL That's what MY Mom said to brother and I!!

Here's one from tonight: "Sorry sweetie, you can not give your friend the lovely picture you made out of Big Butt beer bottle caps" Followed with: "Why on earth did daddy give you those?!"

 

[CourtasanSatine]

I only heard this one:

No,you can't do the Britney dance in public

 

[Poohlovr]

Said too often around here:

No, you cannot kill your brother.
.
.
.
Because I said so, that's why.
.
.
.
No--you cannot hurt him just a little, either.


Not now, but, used to say this a lot-

No--don't flush your underwear (usually yelled while on a mad dash to the bathroom)

 

[Pin Wizard]

DO NOT talk back to me...as he's opening his mouth and sound is coming out yet again.

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

Said to my 4 y/o dd


STEP AWAY from the snack drawer and no one gets hurt.

 

[tinksgirl]

I called to check on my 17 year old son while at work only to find out he is with his girlfriend and they are the only ones in the house. I said Dont you dare make me a grandmother just watch a movie with you hands in your lap until i get home!

 

[dianeschlicht]

No, don't flush socks down the toilet! My DD did this at age two. By the time I caught her, there were only two pairs left!

 

[Serena]

Go untie your cousin from the tree please.

Disecting roadkill in the house is not allowed. Disecting roadkill is not allowed. Do not touch dead animals. I don't care that you cleaned it all up with bleach, do not bring home dead animals.