Things I learned from my most recent trip...

[DiszyDeanette]

fathers and sons with matching mullets, and just general inappropriate appearance,

Matching mullets!? Give me line cutters, pool hoppers, refillable mug abusers, even the evil free dining crowd, but PLEASE, no matching mullets!!! The HORROR!!!

 

[Johnfish]

All I have to say is the OP must have been in all the same lines I was in last week! This is a great post and so true!

John

 

[aurorasleeping]

Teenagers and pre-teens riding the haunted mansion should always scream continusly, at the top of their lungs, from the time they sit down in their doom buggie until they exit the doom buggy. This is hilarious and the other guests and cast members really appreciate it.

The birds at Walt Disney World do not get enough to eat. Therefore you should feed them. The best way to do this is to stand in the direct middle of the street in frontier land with you head tilted back, your mouth open wide and full of popcorn. Feeding them from your mouth will remind the little grackles and finches of their mommies, so this is encourages. It's cute. Really. And Totally safe.

Baby ducks *love* to play dodge ball with your seven year old. (or your seventeen year old for that matter). If you can't find an appropriate dodge ball, just throw any large, heavy object at them (un-rippened fruit you picked from trees is great option). Just make sure the item is larger than the duckling and always remeber to aim for the head, you get more points that way. (Parents, this is a priceless photo op, don't worry about stopping your child's action, just take lots and lots of pictures.)

Wheelchairs, ECVs, and strollers make for handy battering rams. In slow moving crowds, at the end of the night, you will get to the monorail a good five minutes earlier if you repetively run into every person in front of you until they push their way to the side to allow you through another 6 inches. Remember it's your vacation. Those other people in the parks with you are just background actors.

If you are a party of 8, including 5 children and one adult in a wheelchair = arrive at the special reserved-for-wheelchair-seating area of the parade route at 2:55. It is the cast member's fault if there is not room for your children and wheelchair to all be seated in the front row. Those other people in wheelchairs, particularly children with those strange "wish" buttons, should be moved back so your group can all sit in front. Be sure to explain this to the cast member as they may be ignorant to this particular rule of Disney ettiqute. If the cast member does don't obey this rule, continue the yell at them throughout the parade. This also serves to enchance the viewing experience for those around you as well as your children.

After flying for five hours and spending a small fortune for a "family vacation of a lifetime" talk on your cell-phone continusely. Especially if you are seated toward the front of the boat on the Jungle Cruise. Your job is much more interesting and entertaining to those around you, than anything the skipper might have to say. Remeber to talk loudly. The skipper has the microphone, not you, and you must be able to be heard over them.
(I've known skippers who have actually taken a persons cell and proceded to talk to the person on the other end of the phone for a minute or two before hanging up the phone and handing it back to the *astonished* guest.)

Most Jungle Cruise skippers are not aware that the animals in the ride are fake. Neither are some of the guests, particularly small children. It is your duty to inform them of this loudly. Every time you see a new animal.

When flying on the Magic Carpets of Aladdin each of your five children are entitled to their own magic carpet while mom and dad sit in yet another carpet so they can get pictures of their children flying. After all you wait 45 minutes for this ride, and there is no one in line behind you who would like to ride.

Strollers, Wheelchairs and ECV's are allowed everywhere. When the cast member at the Swiss Family Tree House informs you that there are 122 steps up and down the tree, they are WRONG. They are simply trying to mess with you and upset you. Feel free to push past them, open the gate and carry your double stroller up the tree. It's great excerise for your biceps.

Just because you now have a new baby, there is absolutly no reason, for you or your hubby to alter your life style in the least. Priority seatings at expensive "romantic" restraunts late at night should not be changed. Even your infant cries at any time during the meal, just "shush" them, if that doesn't work oh well. It's your date, you can tune out the crying.

On the same note....
It will "toughen" up your 4 year old daughter if you take her on the Haunted Mansion even though she is screaming and crying, and begging you not to make her go, the entire time in line. She is a sissy.

If you do not want to wake your young child up from their nap, just leave them in the stroller while you go on the ride. It is not necessary to have an adult watching the child. Nothing bad can happen at disney world.

Alternatively, simply hand the sleeping baby to the cast member at the "greeter" position before you get in line. They would love to watch your children for you for the next hour.

Females, especially female cast members are inferior. If you don't like the answer she gives you she must be wrong. Ask to speak to a male. This is particularly true when talking to a female manager or security gaurd.

It is not *assault and/or battery*, actually it isn't a crime at all, to hit a cast member or burn them, or threaten them. It is perfectly acceptable to take out your rage on them. Remember they are not people.

 

[Todd&Copper]

Just because you now have a new baby, there is absolutly no reason, for you or your hubby to alter your life style in the least. Priority seatings at expensive "romantic" restraunts late at night should not be changed. Even your infant cries at any time during the meal, just "shush" them, if that doesn't work oh well. It's your date, you can tune out the crying.

Actually, I thought the rule was - Your new baby is the most ADORABLE being on the planet, and it is incumbent upon you to insist that he/she go to all of the shows, especially when she is cranky and fussy. His/her shrill screams and flailing grabs at other guests' hair is SO DARN CUTE. And never take the squalling child out of a crowded theater during a show - pull out your keys and rattle them in front of his/her face, so everyone else can enjoy the delightful sounds of clanging keys and screaming child.



For the record, the only happened once, but it was during the Muppets, and I missed a lot of the jokes b/c of the child, and despite asking the mom to keep the baby quiet (POLITELY asked, of course) and the father telling the wife to "shut the kid up," (his words, not mine), the baby kept grabbing my hair and screaming. If I was anywhere else, I would have waited for her outside the theater and screamed at the top of my lungs right into the mom's ear as she passed me by, but, I can't be that mean at Disney.

 

[cnids00]

I was sooooo excited to be going back to WDW until reading this thread, I'd "forgotten" all about the "perks" of other peoples behavior!

If I remember right we also had our fair share of inconciderate morons, but I think I was "oil" and they were "water", I had my opinion and moved on, refusing to let ANYTHING ruin our magic, it just ran right off of me.

Not saying I wouldn't speak up if it was entirely out of control, but so far "knock on wood", we've not experienced anything major like some of you other posters on here

 

[rgribik]

Kick Save and Aurorasleeping: you two should get together and publish some of these in a book(something on the lines of "Rules to make your Disney vacation special, because you are the only one that counts)" You two both write oh so funny but oh so true!! Loved your posts! I showed my Dh this thread and he wanted to vote Kick Save President of Disney!!

Don't forget when all those people who think deodorant is optional crowd on an already crowded bus,after a full day of vigorous activity, Disney Law will say, this person must stand directly over you while streching said armpit to full exposure, thus allowing for maxium air flow.

Also on the bus subject: If your stroller is the size of a small car, because that makes your child the most comfy, you have every right to "park" it on the bus taking up at least 3 seats, because you are special.

 

[Conan the Librarian]

Make sure that if you are on the Second desk of the Ferry from MK to the TTC that you constantly spit over the rail so folk below can be blessed by your bodilly fluids coming through the open windows and gangways. I know other guests will be fuffilled by this!


Grown Men should never flush anything. Leave that for the CMs.

Make sure your child stomps all over the floor in Mickey's Philharmagic. The loud noises never bother anyone.


(I do feel sorry for our kids whenever we get some. They WILL behave or go home [within reason])

 

[jjpenguin]

Please note that anything said by a Cast Member is purely background noise and is not worth being listened to, especially if he/she is talking about safety or courtesy. This is meant for all the other people and NOT YOU.

Cell phone use during all attractions is mandatory.

If carrying on a conversation with members of your group it is obligatory to sit at opposite ends of the monorail/train/bus so that all around you can enjoy your inane chatting.

When in a ride such as Spaceship Earth it is no problem whatsoever to continue your work related conversation as long as you ensure that it is loud enough that all in the vicinity can not hear the narration. This is also the case on other rides, although screaming can be the preferred option in HM - see above posts.

(actually, I count myself lucky, I can usually tune out this stuff, but the ones in SE, man!!! DH was really mad.)

 

[pixiedoodle74]

We had a great time nonetheless, but I have never seen so many tattooed women,

So, people with tattoos shouldn't be able to enjoy a WDW vacation? Only people that look a certain way?

 

[BamaFan121s]

too funny! And sadly...very true.

 

[binky]

So, people with tattoos shouldn't be able to enjoy a WDW vacation? Only people that look a certain way?

I knew a post like this would be coming! I figured I would probably offend some people with my post. I don't think all tattoos are bad. In fact, a little flower on the ankles or somewhere not visible to everyone is something I might have done in my younger days But these women with large and multiple tattoos all over.....I felt like I was at a truck and tractor pull, not WDW

 

[!@#$%]

Here are a few of my favorites.... Some repeated...

guys... Let your girlfriends who look like Pamela Anderson wear the SKIMPIEST things they can to the park, with things like KISS ME, or JUICY across the chest of their shirts, and make sure they can see their bright pink underwear through their 4 sizes too small clothes, then YOU YOURSELF walk around and act like you want to fight any guy who looks in their general direction...... Even if he didnt see your girl yet, still glare him down, because hes about your age and size. after all, even if he HADNT spotted her yet, he's sure to sooner or later with her dressed like that, and you have to establish a "dont look at her" rule before it happens.

Oh...guys... If you dont like how they are dressed tell them.. they wont beat you for very long , oh and if they dont care what you think now while your dating... It wont change when your married.. Most girls will respect a guy who cares about them, and wants them to look respectable... and a respectable looking lady is much prettier.


People who dont speak english... Please stop in the middle seats of shows with your family of 10, then stare angrily at all the others who have to try to get over your family to fill in all the spaces beyond you.
Completely IGNORE all the CMs telling you to move down.

Use "no speak english" as your excuse to do absolutely ANYTHING you want to do against park rules.

Family of 5, dont just walk side by side SLOWLY down the street, but take it a step further, and be sure to SWING personal articles around as primevial weapons to anyone who tried to squeeze through.

Young couples, kiss and grope in line and when the line resumes, DONT resume, YOUR BUSY!!! Who cares about the rest of us who HAVE a ROOM and USED IT!!! (get a room)

Teens... make sure your new cellphone has every imaginable light flashing option then wave it around during the dark rides. When it gets to a quiet part, laugh with your friends... and make some more phone calls.

 

[Hixski]

Matching mullets!? Give me line cutters, pool hoppers, refillable mug abusers, even the evil free dining crowd, but PLEASE, no matching mullets!!! The HORROR!!!

And please if you have those mullets get in the pool with your sandals on. I guess if you get in the river with sandals on you should get in the pool too. Could not believe it when we saw that one. They were not flip flops or sand shoes either. They were big chunky leather ones.

Guy with mullet (and cut off blue jean shorts) gets in the pool with sandals on. CM sees him and tells him he can't have shoes on in the pool. Mullet guy says I don't have shoes on these are what I wear in the river. Cm tells him this is not the river so there is not need for shoes. Mullet guy gets out and complains to family. DH and I are just laughing.

 

[Race the Reaper]

I knew a post like this would be coming! I figured I would probably offend some people with my post. I don't think all tattoos are bad. In fact, a little flower on the ankles or somewhere not visible to everyone is something I might have done in my younger days But these women with large and multiple tattoos all over.....I felt like I was at a truck and tractor pull, not WDW

I'm not going to take offense to your post but you should know this. I have 6 tattoos over various part of my body. Only one is visible(a vine with flowers going up the nape of my neck and disappearing into the hair behind my left ear). I'm not heavyset nor do I attend tractor pulls. I work in a hospital as a RN in a cardiology department doing stress testing and echocardiograms.
I do agree with you tho, tats should be discreet and in good taste.

 

[Hixski]

Here are a few of my favorites.... Some repeated...

guys... Let your girlfriends who look like Pamela Anderson wear the SKIMPIEST things they can to the park, with things like KISS ME, or JUICY across the chest of their shirts, and make sure they can see their bright pink underwear through their 4 sizes too small clothes, then YOU YOURSELF walk around and act like you want to fight any guy who looks in their general direction...... Even if he didnt see your girl yet, still glare him down, because hes about your age and size. after all, even if he HADNT spotted her yet, he's sure to sooner or later with her dressed like that, and you have to establish a "dont look at her" rule before it happens.

DH and I actually had this happen. And we are in our mid forties. DH is a big guy. 6'3" and 265. A twenty something asked my DH what his problem was. (He and I were both looking at his "girlfriend". Looked about how you are describing. Really did not look good in said outfit either.) Twenty something guy said DH was looking at his girlfriend. ( Yes he was, he was laughing) Twenty something was a very small guy. DH says, No I was not looking at "anything" and why didn't he go pick on someone his own size. You should have seen the look on the guys face as he was trying to figure that one out. And he did go try to start something with someone else.

 

[Fitswimmer]

ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS remember, it's YOUR TRIP and you paid LOTS OF MONEY for it, so you are entitled to expect everyone else to bow to your whims and wishes (especially CM's and any guests you find particularly annoying on any given day). No perk is too good for you, no sacrifice on the part of others is too great a request. It's all about YOU, babe! YOU!!

Love that! The only sad thing is that it was way too true.

Here's some more "rules" I've learned:

Buy your children swords or lightsabers so that they can hit other guests with them while they are standing in line or walking. Everyone just loves to be part of your child's "play pirate" game. If anyone reacts to being hit, they're just crabby people that hate kids.

Don't forget to purchase some toys that make noise too-like whistles or something. It's really entertaining for everyone to listen to your darling blow that whistle over and over again during a show.

Get your double wide stroller early-you'll never get through the crowds after the parades without it. If someone should fall on your child after you ram them in the knees, threaten to call the police and sue them. You can use the money to pay off the credit card you used for the trip.

By all means, let your child climb on fences or any other object they wish, indoors or out. After all, it's Disney's job to keep them safe, if they get hurt you can sue. See above for what to do with the money.

Everyone wants to listen to your child screaming "mommy, mommy, mommy" for the entire duration of a ride, show or meal. Taking the child outside for a minute to allow them to calm down would lessen your experience-and that's what is really important right??

If you're at a TS place for dinner, and darling child needs the rest room, take the stroller in with you! You wouldn't want someone to steal it would you? It doesn't matter that the rest room in a TS is about the size of a closet. Everyone else can wait while you manuever the stroller in and out. (this really happend at Tony's last time I was there!)

The most important rule is: anyone without children should not even be at WDW, so pushing in front of them in lines, parades or fireworks is acceptable if not encouraged. Your perfectly healthy 15 year old son should never offer his seat to an elderly person on a bus either. After all, your son is much too tired for manners or respect.

All that being said-I still can't wait to go back!!!

 

[dixiedizfan]

You really need to make sure that you take your young child on a ride such as Tower of Terror. Then while waiting in line, those around you can experience your child continuously crying and begging not to have to ride it. And of course you can ease the child's mind with comforting words such as, "Quit being such a baby, you're ruining our vacation", and "It's no worse than Space Mountain".

 

[BAST]

One that has been missed - if you don't speak english, it is perfectly fine to carry on a loud conversation in your native tongue throughout any show at WDW. The other guests who are listening to the show will not mind.

It is also perfectly fine to have your children pull on or sit on the ropes set up for the parades. This is simply another WDW attraction.

My corollary to other threads - it is perfectly fine to jump onto the monorail at the last possible second and expect others who are seated to give their seats to you. We all know that another monorail will not be available for at least three minutes and there is absolutely no reason for you to wait for the next one if you really need to sit.

 

[!@#$%]

DH and I actually had this happen. And we are in our mid forties. DH is a big guy. 6'3" and 265. A twenty something asked my DH what his problem was. (He and I were both looking at his "girlfriend". Looked about how you are describing. Really did not look good in said outfit either.) Twenty something guy said DH was looking at his girlfriend. ( Yes he was, he was laughing) Twenty something was a very small guy. DH says, No I was not looking at "anything" and why didn't he go pick on someone his own size. You should have seen the look on the guys face as he was trying to figure that one out. And he did go try to start something with someone else.

One such example (of many) happened at Animal Kingdom. Two big guys were there with their girlfriends. Their girlfriends were both wearing only their bikini tops and short shorts. It wasnt even hot outside. Many people there that day were in long sleeved shirts. I think it was like January. They were really out of place. The guys couldnt even enjoy the parade for looking around to see who might be looking at their girls. HELLO! They were UP FRONT, you had to look right past them to see the parade. So every man there got dirty looks.
Funny thing, they didnt give dirty looks to my wife, and she looked at one of them and said out loud "I thought Disney had a dress code! They dont belong here dressed like that with all the children around." My 5 year old son was covering his eyes.

 

[aztecgoods]

Oh goody, No deodorant. I will make sure not to use the baby powder either. I mean if everyone else is sweating like a pig.......I need to blend in right????? The problem is the ones that don't use deodorant did not take a bath before they left home either.

Are you guys talking about Euro Dis in France? I'm confused, or are you talking about your latest trip to Wal Mart? Most of these things happen to me everytime I go to Wal Mart, not just the theme parks. This is why it is best to go in a less crowded time. Nothing makes a vacation like getting in a crowded line shoulder to shoulder with a 350lb dude with BO. I leave and go somewhere else.