They are going to think im cheap

[pigletto]

Wow.. I have never even heard of all of this. For our kids sometimes a parent sends in cupcakes or cookies on a child's birthday and they have them at snack time. And by sometimes I mean it happens maybe twice a year out of 20 kids.
The only time we do treat bags is if you have a birthday party and invite children to come.
I have never sent anything for my kids birthdays simply because both of their birthdays fall on spring break every single year.

Make some cupcakes and bring them in if you feel like it.. your dd will be delighted you made the extra trip I am sure
And please don't worry about appearing cheap, just worry about making your daughter feel special. That is the only opinion that matters in the least.

 

[Nolcrest]

I'm a pre-school teacher and while I certainly don't mind a special treat to share with the class while we all sing happy birthday, I'll be quite honest and say that I really don't like when parents go all out with goody bags, hats, blowers, balloons etc. and hand them to me for their child's birthday. I understand it is your child's special day but we are not a party hall and I am not the party entertainer for your child's special day. If you want to go all out do it at your house when you are responsible for all the children. Anything more than a special snack truly disrupts our day and can very difficult for the children to focus. And let's be honest, most goody bag stuff gets trashed. I hate to sound like such a downer but it's really how I feel since the trend is now leaning toward "school parties".

Your child will feel special without all the hoopla.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Another vote for not to worry what other people think.

Our school doesn't allow goody bags or treats. I'm glad for it! Celebrate your DD's birthday with your child. Don't worry about the rest.

 

[holidaybarb]

Re: gifts for the teachers. If you are happy with the school and the teacher(s), a sincere note of appreciation means more than large gifts in my opinion. Having your child happy and successful in school is priceless. Hard working teachers like to know they have the support of parents. So if that's the case, a note does the trick.

Also, I appreciate honesty from parents. If it's difficult for you to attend school events and it bothers you, let the teacher know at the next conference. You don't seem to be an uncaring parent - you're just real about what can and cannot happen. That's a good thing and a valuable lesson for your child. But clue in the teacher. Can't go wrong with good communication.

 

[summerrluvv]

I don't send in goody bags, but I've always sent in cupcakes or munchkins. Not because I care about what the teachers or other parents think, but because I know my son would be sad if there was nothing to celebrate his birthday at school. Obviously this will change in middle school though.

Can you make cupcakes and bring them in on multicultural day and leave them in the classroom covered overnight?

 

[pigletto]

I'm a pre-school teacher and while I certainly don't mind a special treat to share with the class while we all sing happy birthday, I'll be quite honest and say that I really don't like when parents go all out with goody bags, hats, blowers, balloons etc. and hand them to me for their child's birthday. I understand it is your child's special day but we are not a party hall and I am not the party entertainer for your child's special day. If you want to go all out do it at your house when you are responsible for all the children. Anything more than a special snack truly disrupts our day and can very difficult for the children to focus. And let's be honest, most goody bag stuff gets trashed. I hate to sound like such a downer but it's really how I feel since the trend is now leaning toward "school parties".

I agree. That is an awful lot to place on the teacher who already has a schedule and lesson plan to follow for the day.
Like I mentioned, a special snack and everyone singing Happy Birthday is all I have ever seen here. School is school.. party time should be at home in my opinion.

 

[iwrbnd]

I don't send all that stuff to school either. I have 4 kids and most of the junk they get in gift bags end up on the bottom of our van anyway. Waste of money. As far as teacher gifts, I have the kids write a nice letter to the teacher and I add one as well. Being a teacher myself, I prefer this.

 

[luvmy3]

I don't even send in treats anymore for my kids birthdays. I also don't understand the mentality of sending in goody bags (not treats, but toys and gifts) to hand out to the kids of the class, its not like you invited them to a party and its a way to say thanks for coming. Luckily doing that isn't big around here and the only time goody bags come home is when its a class party for a holiday (season ), not a single students birthday.
OP Don't let what other people do make you feel bad, there is absolutely nothing to feel bad about and there are alot of us out there just like you

 

[twooley2]

This is a good time to come to the realization that there will always be those with more and those with less. At the high school level this becomes even more necessary to understand. My daughter is on drill team and it cost dearly but she loves to do it. Realizing that they have to pay for any additional solo performances during contest season. The drill team cost enough trust me. They also have a drill team sister where they exchange gifts and this is weekly.Some kids at school drive cars better than their parents vehicles and some don't. I had this issue to about what others think. I now do not have a choice to care what they think. There are more family members and equally important things to worry about in life. I don't know how old your daughter is but grasping this early would be advantageous in my opinion from a mom who went through this with two now teenage girls

 

[riley2008]

Lucky for me my boys are in the same class. Their birthday is always the first one of the school year, too. They each get to choose a pre-packaged snack to take for the class. (This is a big deal to them as I usually by in bulk and separate it in re-usable containers.) We buy huge packs of chips, goldfish crackers, cheez-its, nilla wafers, or whatever. I tell the teacher to keep any leftovers to use as she sees fit. Usually costs me about $15.00 and it fits it their backpacks too. The kids don't make a mess and can always take it home or save it for the next day's snack. My boys get to pass out their chosen snacks to everyone in class - 2 snacks for the day! Woohoo!

This year they wanted to take drinks too. DH gave in.....he bought a case of store brand waters. All around reports....that was the biggest hit. (You never really know what kids will appreciate.)

 

[MSSANDRA]

I would only care what your daughter wants, not the "Jones". Is it VERY important to her that you be there?? You can do "something" without spending a lot of money. If you are sending on the bus, really think about something VERY easy for her to carry. Maybe just some little Debbie Type cakes.

I do agree if money is that tight you may need to rethink some of your WDW plans. All those extra are just not needed to have a magical trip if money is tight!!!!!!

 

[sk!mom]

I'm one of the parents who go all out for the kids birthdays and it isn't to make the other parents feel bad, it is to make my child's day as special as possible. I am "crafty" and I like to bake special treats and make things for her classmates. My dd is an only child & was a miracle baby so every birthday is a big celebration for us. I sew her a special birthday girl outfit and she wears it proudly. I do it for her, not anyone else. If other parents feel like crap over it that is their problem not mine. I don't go into debt over it but I do shop during the year for big sales clearance items etc. so it may seem like I spent a fortune, but really spent pennies. I don't expect other parents to do the same nor do I look down upon them. There is no "drama" you do what you want & I do what I want.

I'm in this group as well. I took a treat to school, threw a big outside of school party, and had a special breakfast, lunch and dinner on their birthday. I did those things to celebrate my children. It never occurred to me that parents who don't celebrate big might feel bad. I do what works for my family and the OP should do the same.

As to the question, I've never been a part of a school that allowed goody bags and such for birthdays. The schools that my children attended and that I have worked at allow only a simple treat at the end of the day. For my DS, I usually sent homemade cupcakes. Enough for the class cost me $2 or $3. My DD's birthday always falls in the last week of school and it's hot here so in Elementary, I would send some type of single serve ice cream treat- cost maybe $5 or $6.

If I was the OP, I would send a small treat for my DD's sake. If "everyone" truly sends something on their child's BD, I would be afraid that my child would feel that her day was less important if I didn't do anything. Homemade cupcakes would be $3 but would make your DD feel special.

As far as goody bags, teacher's gifts, and such. DOn't do it and don't worry about it.

 

[disykat]

At all the schools I've been at the teachers think parents that send in expensive party favors etc. and try to turn their school birthday acknowledgment into a big party are nuts! I actually think even 15 minutes of "party" is too much to take away from academics if you're doing it for each child.

When I teach, the kids may spend some time doing "educational" birthday activities (like making a birthday book, etc.) and the birthday child gets some special privileges, but the passing out of treats and singing happy birthday takes about 5 minutes before a recess or break time. I've had very few parents want to come for that.

Beyond Kindergarten my kids didn't always take treats. The years that they had teachers that okayed it, the boys usually wanted something really simple that they could carry in their backpacks - like boxes of hostess cupcakes. They considered that a bigger treat than homemade!

I'm not a proponent of teacher presents either. I prefer not to receive them and rarely give them. I have no doubt in my mind that the teachers know I appreciate them, we just show it in other ways.

 

[crazelion]

My kids teachers must think I cheap and frugal. Because I don't even send cupcakes or goody bags. I am not feeding the whole class.

My kids think going to Chuck Cheese is better any how. They all ready ask can go to Chucky Cheese for the birthday.

They have birthday party at home to with all there friends which is a cookout.

 

[MinnieForMe]

Hi:
No goodie bags here either! Don't worry about the treats but I agree that sending a bag of goldfish would be inexpensive and still make your daughter feel special.

Will going to school for the 15 minutes be a financial burden to you? Do you miss work? Have a sibling at home? Is the bus fares too much for your budget? If the answer is yes, then skip it and don't feel guilty. However, your post reads that you were just annoyed that you had to take the two buses and climb stairs. If that is the case then shame on you! I have a disability and somedays don't feel/can't walk and I go to EVERYTHING for my three kids. I wouldn't care if I had to crawl to get there. My kids will remember that their mom was the one in front cheering them on or celebrating with their class. They won't remember that I didn't have balloons or flowers for them.

Wish your daughter a Happy Birthday from all of us at the DIS!

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

Hi:
No goodie bags here either! Don't worry about the treats but I agree that sending a bag of goldfish would be inexpensive and still make your daughter feel special.

Will going to school for the 15 minutes be a financial burden to you? Do you miss work? Have a sibling at home? Is the bus fares too much for your budget? If the answer is yes, then skip it and don't feel guilty. However, your post reads that you were just annoyed that you had to take the two buses and climb stairs. If that is the case then shame on you! I have a disability and somedays don't feel/can't walk and I go to EVERYTHING for my three kids. I wouldn't care if I had to crawl to get there. My kids will remember that their mom was the one in front cheering them on or celebrating with their class. They won't remember that I didn't have balloons or flowers for them.

Wish your daughter a Happy Birthday from all of us at the DIS!

YES, YES, YES!!!!
I totally agree. It isn't about the things, but you being there. Our school doesn't allow for parents to be at the school for almost anything, so count yourself lucky. While it may be annoying, it will mean eveything to your daughter and soon she won't want yo uthere and you will never get these times back.

 

[WendyisDarling]

Our school doesn't allow edible treats. They suggest a bookmark or pencil if you really want to do something. Very few children do this. But, that's not your situation.
Some still bring in treats, but they must be served during lunch.
One year instead I sent in a game for the class to share during inside recess time. (It was Connect 4.) I was told all the kids were really excited to have a new game (as was the teacher). Yes, still some expense but I'm betting you can find something for less than $10.

Birthdays are a big deal to a kid. I still remember bringing cupcakes to third grade and the teacher forgot. I had to try to pass them out while the kids were going home. No one sang happy birthday and I was worried about missing my bus. However, I did somehow manage to survive

ETA-check with the teacher, of course

 

[Swimalie]

I'm one of the parents who go all out for the kids birthdays and it isn't to make the other parents feel bad, it is to make my child's day as special as possible. I am "crafty" and I like to bake special treats and make things for her classmates. My dd is an only child & was a miracle baby so every birthday is a big celebration for us. I sew her a special birthday girl outfit and she wears it proudly. I do it for her, not anyone else. If other parents feel like crap over it that is their problem not mine. I don't go into debt over it but I do shop during the year for big sales clearance items etc. so it may seem like I spent a fortune, but really spent pennies. I don't expect other parents to do the same nor do I look down upon them. There is no "drama" you do what you want & I do what I want.

.

Same here (miracle son, too). Although I don't do anything big in the classroom. I go all out at his birthday party. My son's pre-school doesn't allow goodie bags and I'm glad since most are filled with stuff I'd just end up throwing away.

But... his elementary school doesn't allow birthday celebrations at all. (I'm bummed about that since I was planning on doing special things for that). What they do allow is that the parent buy a book in the child's honor for the library. Maybe you can do that for your daughter. Then the teacher can talk about that in class and make it special.

 

[RadioFanatic]

I've never even HEARD of sending goodie bags to school. How bizarre.

What bothered me most about OP's post was not that she necessarily could not afford something to send; but that she didn't want to be bothered with going there to celebrate her child's birthday. I also have a miracle child (told I couldn't conceive after multiple failed IVF's and then 10 years into marriage miraculously pregnant by "natural" means) and I will do everything to celebrate the day I received the greatest gift in my life. This year, I ordered a cupcake cake from Walmart and am bringing it to the class. Even cheaper things can be done as noted by previous posters. But honestly, the way I read it, OP appeared more annoyed about getting to the school than the money of buying something. If you have to take two buses, etc., how does your child get there?

 

[luvmy3]

I've never even HEARD of sending goodie bags to school. How bizarre.

What bothered me most about OP's post was not that she necessarily could not afford something to send; but that she didn't want to be bothered with going there to celebrate her child's birthday. I also have a miracle child (told I couldn't conceive after multiple failed IVF's and then 10 years into marriage miraculously pregnant by "natural" means) and I will do everything to celebrate the day I received the greatest gift in my life. This year, I ordered a cupcake cake from Walmart and am bringing it to the class. Even cheaper things can be done as noted by previous posters. But honestly, the way I read it, OP appeared more annoyed about getting to the school than the money of buying something. If you have to take two buses, etc., how does your child get there?

She also said that there is only 15 minutes allotted to celebrate a birthday and she would have to take 2 trains and 2 buses to get there. I can understand not wanting to go, I'm sure she see's her child before and after school, she doesn't need to go to the school to make her child's birthday special. In fact thats not the place to make your child's birthday special, save that for at home and have a party. My dd's birthday was yesterday, I didn't send her to school with anything. I woke her up singing to her, cooked her favorite breakfast, let her open a new outfit and sent her off to the busstop. We took her out to dinner last night to celebrate and we are having a family party for her this weekend and she is doing something with her friends next weekend. She knows how special she and her birthday are to us, and she doesn't need us showing up at school to prove it (and ours is right around the corner).