The worst possible thing to ask a woman...

[AustinTink]

"Are you pregnant?" No, I'm not. "Oh because you have a cute little belly right now."

My neighbor asked me this in front of a group of people tonight and I could have decked her.

Honestly, I think she was just being mean. I'm no stick figure, but geez I wear a size 6.

 

[mom2cinderella]

What's that old joke? Never, ever, ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you see the baby crowning?


I was asked one time - found out a couple weeks later I actually was pregnant!

I was asked another time.......when I was standing there........with my newborn in her carseat carrier.

 

[tvguy]

Well, could have been worse, could have called you sir.

 

[crzy4my2]

Yes..I hate that! I have been asked a few times(3)...once when I was about 19 and really skinny. I think my dress made me look like I was..
and then the other 2 times at work. I work in retail. We were having a big sale in a few days and a customer asked me when the "big event" was. I thought she meant the big clearance event so I said "oh, the sale starts on the xx" she said No, the baby. I felt my face get real hot. and I said "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat" The customer behind her, I saw her mouth drop when customer#1 asked me my due date and customer #2 let into customer #1. She yelled at her "She does NOT look pregnant and she can't say to you what she is thinking because she is working but that was really rude" I wanted to crawl into a hole.
the 3rd time at work one of our regular customers came in and asked when I was due..I said the same thing "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat" Now if she left it at that I would of been fine but NOOOO..she thought I was lying and said, "well I mean you look pregnant". again I said NO. then about 4 more times she said how my stomach this and that..I was ringing her in but I walked away mid sale(I asked my co-worker to finish) and as I walked away to the back room for a cool down, my co-worker said to her "She told you she wasn't, she doesn't look it, she's not and you need to STOP now."

It's funny because my stomach really is not my issue..it's my butt..and I think the clothes that I wore were not flattering. thy were big and flowey.I have made some changes since then.

 

[holycow]

Sounds like she just wanted to embarrass you!

 

[Handbag Lady]

"Are you pregnant?" No, I'm not. "Oh because you have a cute little belly right now."

My neighbor asked me this in front of a group of people tonight and I could have decked her.

Honestly, I think she was just being mean. I'm no stick figure, but geez I wear a size 6.

You have a cow for a neighbor. I think maybe she needs some patties placed in her front yard. Do you have a dog?

 

[Imzadi]

If you are a size 6, I think you have nothing to worry about. Your neighbor does sound like a mean cow.

There was a post recently, (maybe the OP will step forward,) where her mean MIL asked her, "When did you gain so much weight?" She answered without missing a beat, "I don't know. When did you start looking so old?"

She said her MIL never asked her that again.

 

[Hillbeans]

"Are you pregnant?" No, I'm not. "Oh because you have a cute little belly right now."

My neighbor asked me this in front of a group of people tonight and I could have decked her.

Honestly, I think she was just being mean. I'm no stick figure, but geez I wear a size 6.

Wow, that is awfully mean...i'd be awfully upset.

And yes, i've been asked that question twice when not being pregnant - once I was 17 years old (?) working at a shoe store and the style of clothing was leggings and long sweaters. I couldn't have weighed more than 115 pounds at 5 foot 7 and a customer asked me when I was due. I told her I was 17, not pregnant and how could she ask me such a thing. The second time was unfortunately about 7 months after i'd had my 2nd child, a woman, much larger than me at the time saw me at the copy machine and said "Oh, so you're going for a 3rd?" and I told her no, and went back to my desk and cried. I never ever spoke with this woman after that and she tried so hard to be nice to me and I refused to be friendly with her anymore.

DH and I follow the golden rule that unless someone tells us they are pregnant or as others said, or either are on their way to the hospital, we never, ever ask.

 

[NewmanFamily6]

I am a nurse and have been asked a few times. My latest answer to when is the baby due..........7 years ago I would never ask anyone and it use to hurt my feelings but now I can't let it worry me. The worst was being asked a couple of months after I had the twins when I was feeling good about myself. I cried like you wouldn't believe. I will never understand why people are so rude

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Sounds like she just wanted to embarrass you!

Ditto.

 

[bgirldeb]

the 3rd time at work one of our regular customers came in and asked when I was due..I said the same thing "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat" Now if she left it at that I would of been fine but NOOOO..she thought I was lying and said, "well I mean you look pregnant". again I said NO. then about 4 more times she said how my stomach this and that..I was ringing her in but I walked away mid sale(I asked my co-worker to finish) and as I walked away to the back room for a cool down, my co-worker said to her "She told you she wasn't, she doesn't look it, she's not and you need to STOP now.".

OMG! That lady needs a muzzle!

 

[Carly_Roach]

I have a few stock answers because I get asked if I'm pregnant from time to time. When I was single and someone asked if I was pregnant, my stock answer was either, "I'd better not be" or "If I am, I'm scheduling an abortion right now. I don't have time for kids." The last answer typically ended the conversation....most times for good.

If I was in a good mood and the question was a well-meaning, "When are you due?" I had a Abbot/Costello routine available to me:

Her: When are you due?

Me: Due for what?

The baby.

What baby?

Your baby. Congratulations!

I wasn't aware I was expecting a baby. When will it get here and what train station do I have to meet it at?

No! YOUR baby. You look pregnant.

(looks down at belly) OMG! I look pregnant!

So when are you due?

Due for what?

The baby!!

What baby?

I could keep that one going for a long time if I had to.

Bottom line: I learned early that people are going to say dumb, cruel or insensative things. The only way they can hurt me would be if I allowed them to.

The one question I try to keep in the forefront of my mind is this: why would I ever allow someone else's judgment of me to be my validation for who I am? While I struggle with that question every day, most of the time I simply don't allow someone else's judgment to be a validation.

 

[dakcp2001]

I am a nurse and have been asked a few times. My latest answer to when is the baby due..........7 years ago I would never ask anyone and it use to hurt my feelings but now I can't let it worry me. The worst was being asked a couple of months after I had the twins when I was feeling good about myself. I cried like you wouldn't believe. I will never understand why people are so rude

I think it is the scrubs. I have ONLY been asked if I was pregnant twice, and both times while working wearing scrubs. Both times I cried. I know I need to lose some weight, but really, that is the worst way to remind me. Ugh.

The only time it is acceptable to ask a woman if she is preganant is if she is giving birth. Other than that, not acceptable.

 

[Mimi1965]

Well, could have been worse, could have called you sir.

This made me
I have actually called a customer "yes sir" on the phone and it ended up being a woman.Very embaressing.

 

[Liberty Belle]

It's bad the other way, too.

My oldest was in gymnastics when he was younger. I'd take him twice a week and sit on the bleachers until he was done. His coach would usually talk to me, if just to say hi. He was in lessons well before I became pregnant and long after I had his brother.

I looked like your typical pregnant woman. I was overweight before I got pregnant, but I didn't look pregnant then (well, I suppose I could have passed for three or four months), and I certainly looked pregnant during my pregnancy! I also had the awkward gait at the end, rubbed my tummy, etc.

When it came time to have my little one, my mother took my oldest to his gymnastics lessons and when the coach saw her he asked where I was. She said, "She just had the baby, etc." His response was "I didn't know she was pregnant!" My mom said, "Did you just think she was gaining a bunch of weight in her stomach ?" He said that he learned long ago never to ask a woman if she was pregnant, but geez. It was pretty obvious! Made me wonder if other people just thought I was incredibly fat and not pregnant.

 

[MM27]

One of the ladies that I work with asked another girl, in front of all of us, when she was due. The girl was mortified and asked if she looked pregnant. The lady then said, "Oh, maybe you're just getting fat" Yeah, that's a good way to make her feel better.

One the the teachers in my school that is stick thin told me that one day all the girls in her class were asking if she was pregnant. She was wearing one of those that makes everyone look like they're expecting. Never wore it again.

 

[Pooh67_68]

I was only ever asked once, but when she found out I wasn't she was embarrased.


The question I always got - when are you having kids? My standered answer - I can't have children (which is true)
That always shut them up fast.

 

[AustinTink]

Sounds like she just wanted to embarrass you!

This! She is a serious piece of work. My husband thinks she's just an idiot. I don't buy it.

 

[AustinTink]

You have a cow for a neighbor. I think maybe she needs some patties placed in her front yard. Do you have a dog?

Hahahahaha, yes, the thought did cross my mind last night.

 

[polkadotsuitcase]

I'm sorry for all the rude comments people have endured. I actually was the rude comment giver, once. I didn't mean to be, though!

I was at a friend's work get-together (we'd just stopped by on the way to another activity). My friend left me standing talking to one of her co-workers. The woman was a bit overweight, but nothing extreme. She was talking to me about her baby and pregnancy, but not in a "my baby rolled over for the first time" way, more like, "when I found out I was pregnant, I was living overseas" kind of comments. In any event, she was kind of dominating the conversation and I was antsy to leave, so I'm afraid I wasn't really paying very close attention. (I know, rude right there!)

When she paused, I felt like I was supposed to say something, so I said, "And when are you due?" Mistake. It got very, very cold there on the deck, and she said, "I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat."

Suddenly I was very much paying attention -- yikes! I backpedaled as fast as I could, trying desperately to act casual, "Oh, I didn't think so. You were just talking about your baby and I misunderstood." But still...OUCH.

That was probably 20 years ago and I still feel horrible!