The World of Frankenpooh: A Spring Break Trip Report. ** NEXT TO LAST CH. 4/27! **

[hucifer]

As to my planning shortcomings, refer back to the first installment in which I introduce myself as well-meaning, but slack.

I'd like to be an uber-planner, but I can't quite pull it off!

I WAS referring to your first installment.

Honestly, I have had so many LOL moments while reading your report. I can't wait for the next one!

 

[Credit Man]

Enjoying your report! Thanks for posting.

 

[frankenpooh]

Chapter 9 ... In Which the Kids Help Tom and Huck, and Mr. Smith Visits his Favorite Hess Station (Again)

Friday, March 31

Basically, see Tuesday a.m. We get up at 7, eat in the room, get on the bus to the MK. The family protests a bit because I want to use the coffee maker to make coffee instead of heating water for oatmeal. The Diet Coke has run out, and I need the caffeine. They’ll have to survive on nutrigrain bars and yogurt.

MK opening seems less crowded than on Tuesday. We follow the same routine – the guys ride Buzz Lightyear while I get FP for Space Mountain, then we all ride Buzz. Somehow, I kick butt on Buzz this time. I have evidently hit something worth a lot of points, probably while aiming for something else.

Buzz himself arrives for autographs and pics as we exit the ride. We get a photopass shot of the kids and take one with our own camera, too. Folks are not kidding when they say the photopass photographers are not pushy. You have to seek them out. Most of the time, we’re too busy to stop for a picture. We end up with about 8 photos from the week, none of which I purchase. I’ve already bought one from Chef Mickey’s, remember? Let’s not go crazy!

We walk over to Fantasyland and catch the first showing of Mickey’s Philharmagic. I’m sure we’ll never be able to replicate the good timing we’ve had for shows all week. The theatre is not full. We love the show, but 2 sets of screaming babies/toddlers don’t. You’d think the wails and cries of “I wanna go” would prompt their parents to take them out of the theatre, but no. I can’t figure out if the adults are selfish or if they think they aren’t allowed to leave mid-film. Uh ... you’re not strapped into your seats, folks.

I can certainly understand ending up in that show with a child who gets unexpectedly frightened. The show is loud and, at times, dark. That’s enough for some kiddos to hate it, happy story notwithstanding. In fact, it’s so loud that on a couple of occasions I think the little ones have stopped crying, only to realize that the music is drowning them out.

We head to the Haunted Mansion for a repeat trip. Strolling right by It’s a Small World, I feel a little ashamed that we aren’t riding it on this trip. I kind of want to see how it’s been updated, but mostly I just feel like I should go on it. Like it’s unpatriotic somehow not to experience it.

But that’s wrong. What I should feel unpatriotic about is that I haven’t visited the Hall of Presidents since Reagan was in office. Maybe next time!

On to the Haunted Mansion. There’s no wait. I’ll never get tired of this ride. There’s nothing unusual to report about our HM experience on this trip, so I’ll share a little anecdote from 2004 (hope you don’t mind!).

It was a Saturday in October in the MK, the first (and definitely last) time we’d been in that particular park on a Saturday. We’d toured Thursday and Friday around Epcot, MGM and the MK with moderate crowds. These fall dates were a pretty popular time to travel. Still, we were not prepared for what faced us on Saturday. By the early afternoon, fastpass return times were at 9:30 p.m. There was nothing to ride without a very long wait. Just maneuvering around the people was difficult. And, of course, it was hot and sunny. We were stuck wandering around aimlessly trying to decide what to do.

At the Haunted Mansion, the wait is 55 minutes. The HM loads pretty fast, so you know it’s busy when its wait gets that long. We’re standing near the entrance trying to decide whether to get in this line or not, looking pretty pitiful, I’m sure. A CM solemnly approaches us and asks us to follow her. We go with her up the path into what I recognize as the “chicken out” door; since Caveman tried unsuccessfully to ride a couple of times at age 5, we’ve made an early exit before. In this case, we go in the door and are escorted straight into the room where the attraction begins.

It was the highlight of the closest-thing-to-an-unhappy-day I’ve ever had at Disney. The best part was that of course the CM stayed in character the whole time. We were a little afraid to go with her but also scared to say no!

Back to 2006: It’s almost 10 a.m., and we’re going to look for a paint brush. I always want to go to Tom Sawyer Island, but it’s a pain to get over there. You can either go early, and miss some prime ride time, or wait until the afternoon and pack in like sardines on a raft in the hot sun. On this day, though, we’re taking it easy. It’s icing on the cake day. Repeat our favorites day. Do a few things we missed day. You get the idea.

We’re on the first boat over and have plenty of room. The CM gives us the paintbrush story (which, of course, I have already learned from the DIS), and we take off. The boys go one way, Mr. Smith and I go another. I’m not sure where to be looking because I don’t know the level of difficulty of this hunt. How hidden are the things? Pretty quickly my attention turns from finding a paint brush to just finding my children. The island is a bit larger than I remember.

We soon hear the kids, and they are returning from the fort with a paintbrush! They’ve found it just lying on the floor of the fort. I wonder if another family found more than one and just set this one down. Or maybe that’s how they’re “hidden.”

We all head back to the fort to spend some time shooting at Big Thunder Mountain passengers. I notice there’s a lot of trash on the ground, even in some of the caves. It stands out because everywhere else in the parks is so clean.

Upon our return to the mainland, the Smith family gets its souvenir certificate good for a FP ride on Big Thunder Mountain or Splash Mountain. I’m not getting soaked this morning , so I choose the RR. Then we take the WDW RR around to Toontown for our usual route to Space Mountain. We use our fastpasses. Once again, I’m wearing a skirt. Will I never learn?

While browsing our way down Main Street, we pick up a few candy bars. Dark chocolate is good for you; didn’t you know? Frankenpooh’s health tip of the day.

We board the bus back to our resort. As it pulls in POFQ, we decide to disembark there and take the scenic route back to POR. We’ve not walked much on this trip. Maybe next time I’ll start jogging in the mornings, too. It’s a beautiful walk, and I like POFQ. The mansions of Riverside look really nice, too. They do such a good job with the buildings so they don’t look like exterior corridor motels. I really love Alligator Bayou, though, especially the interior decor.

It’s lunchtime, and Mr. Smith has a plan. He wants to go back to the Hess Station at Downtown Disney. No, really. He’s noticed that they make sub sandwiches as well as pizza. Now, I’m tempted to leave the tale right there and let Mr. Smith look a little goofy. But there’s a tad bit more to it. Speaking of Goofy, Mr. Smith wants to run in the World of Disney and buy that golf shirt. I also suspect he wants a giant fountain drink from the Hess Station (he needs his caffeine, too).

It may not surprise you to learn that the Smiths have not gotten a refillable mug. Knowing we’d eat breakfast in the room, I just didn’t think we’d use it enough. By late in the week, we have vowed to get one on our next trip. You’ll know it’s our family when you see us all running back and forth filling the same mug:

– Frankenpooh to the food court with the mug, fills up with coffee, pours the coffee into a cup in the room

– Mr. Smith to the food court with the mug, fills up with tea, pours the tea into a cup in the room

– the Caveman to the food court with the mug, fills up with Coke, pours the Coke into a cup in the room

– Frank Jr. to the food court with the mug, fills up with Sprite, pours the Sprite into a cup in the room

I can totally picture this. It really is exactly what we’ll do. Note to self: Whatever the resort, request a room close to the food court.

Okay, we’re on board with Mr. Smith’s lunch plan. He can run to DTD while we plan for the afternoon. We’re thinking about ... Blizzard Beach.

Going to the water park goes a little against my park touring sense because we’ve burned a pass at the MK already today, and this will take use up a WP and More visit for just a few hours. It’s a warm Friday afternoon and likely to be crowded.

On the other hand, do I really want to spend more than a few hours at the WP? No. If I’ve got to run around in the bathing suit and stand in line for slides, wouldn’t I rather do it on a hot day? Yes. Isn’t BB part of our original vacation plan and something we said we’d try on this trip? Yes.

It's the last day of our trip and time to loosen up on the rules.

Blizzard Beach it will be. Next installment: Wedgies and the Whispering Canyon Café!

 

[AmyBennett]

First off...I am loving your report!

Second, I posted on Nicolemarie's TR that we were all in AK and MK that Thr. and Fri! So, I have to say, I totally agree that Tom Sawyer's Island was littered that day. We went over a little later, in a fruitless hunt for the paint brushes(around 11:30), and I found many of the caves and forts to be very dirty. I didn't put that in my trip report because I felt like I was already complaining enough!!


I can't wait to hear the rest!!!

 

[hucifer]

Yay! The next installment!

I know what you mean about the guilt involved with skipping nostalgic attractions...like it's more on the HAVE TO list, rather than WANT TO.

You should, however, check out the updated Small World since the renovation. They've done a great job of cleaning it up. Everything inside is so sparkly.

 

[fizz13]

So that would be a yes vote on refillable mugs then? Thanks for another great installment,
Claire xx

 

[horsegirl]

Frankie- I have been a big fan of yours since I saw your title. Your latest installment was great! Soren K- man, I went to a liberal arts college and so didn't get his words in philosophy and poly sci where he was presented! Funny story about your Dh. I actually tried to get my brother and sis in law to consider the name Soren. They came up with their own name, hmmmph!

I too get teary over all things beautiful, whether scenary or cute towel creations!

Love your report. Very spohisticated, dahling....

 

[frankenpooh]

It’s time to recap the last ½ day of our trip. Oh, I hate it! I’m not ready for the trip report to be over. It’s probably about time, though, since my memory is fading and my notes on this last segment are not too great. I think they may have been written after the margarita that will be described below –

This won’t be my last installment, though. The drive home warrants a paragraph or two, and I have some final thoughts and future plans to share.

Now, let’s get on with it!

Chapter 10 ... In Which Frankenpooh Gets a Major Wedgie and Learns What a Yard-ful of Margarita is Like

When you last saw the ever-thrilling Smith family, we were getting ready for the water park while Mr. Smith ran to the Hess Station for lunch.
The Caveman, Frank Jr. and I are putting on our bathing suits and sunscreen. Aah, the scent of Coppertone. We smell nice and tropical, even if we’re rubbing on 45 SPF lotion. The Caveman keeps untying and retying his bathing suit, trying to get it tight enough. He’s read up on the Blizzard Beach slides and is worried about losing his drawers. After about 5 attempts to get it just right, you guessed it .... the string breaks. There’s not much elastic in the waistband; this suit needs the drawstring to hold it up.

While we ponder the situation, Mr. Smith returns with the sandwiches. They’re not that great. Shocking, I know. The quality of the deli meat is questionable, but we gobble them up anyway. I think you can all tell we’re not foodies.

Back to the Caveman’s bathing suit problem. Of course, we don’t have another one packed. We don’t really want to go shopping right now. Everyone else is dressed and ready, and BB closes at 5 p.m. And, you may have noticed, the Smiths are kind of cheap.

Cheap, but creative. “What other shorts did you bring?” We’re looking for anything with a drawstring that will dry quickly. And we’re not above rummaging through the dirty clothes bag. (We actually have about 4 bags of dirty clothes by this point!) What we end up with is clean, but not ideal ... it’s a pair of shorts that the Caveman has actually passed down to his brother. They’re a little snug. But at least they won’t fall down!

Although I imagine the Caveman is desperately hoping he doesn’t run into anyone he knows, he doesn’t look half bad. He’d look completely unremarkable if he didn’t have the band of his boxer shorts showing above his “suit.” Last summer, in a fit of pre-pubertal modesty, the Caveman and his friends started wearing boxers under their bathing suits. It looks both silly and uncomfortable, but I guess it's harmless.

Finally, we’re out the door and on the road to BB. It’s crowded, but we find some chairs and stash our stuff. We trek up Mount Gushmore. After a look at the Summit Plummet line, we all queue up for the Slush Gusher. It’s really fun, but all I can think at the end of the slide is, “Exactly how much of my backside did I just expose?” Seriously, the top part of my bathing suit (a tankini) has no problem. The bottom half tries to go up to my shoulders.

This experience has me rethinking Summit Plummet for sure. If I got this much of a wedgie on Slush Gusher, what’s the ski jump going to do? I can tell the other members of my family, busy adjusting their bathing suits, are thinking the same thing. Suddenly none of us cares to brave that long line.

We stay together and move around to Teamboat Springs, the Toboggan Racers, etc. – all the “big” slides except SP. They’re all fun and seem to be a cut above those I’ve ridden at other water parks.

Although we all have fun, I can't say I'm sorry when 5 p.m. rolls around and it's time to go. Drowned rat with a wedgie isn’t my best look. Or at least I hope not.

Back at the room, everyone showers and gets dressed. We have a little down time before dinner, so Mr. Smith and I leave the kids in the room and wander over to the pool bar for a drink. It’s a little perk of having older children. We have a pleasant time talking about the trip, avoiding any mention of our long drive home tomorrow and the responsibilities awaiting us at home.

We head to the Wilderness Lodge for our ADRs at Whispering Canyon Café. Despite staying at the WL in 2002, we have not eaten in this restaurant. We’ve certainly heard the restaurant, though. Lots of happy voices to keep you awake at night if your room is anywhere near the lobby.

I have a printed copy of the cafe’s menu in my notebook; still, the prices give me sticker shock. Why, oh why, do they have to lower the age of eligibility for the child’s menu? We won’t eat enough for 4 adult skillets, so we work out some other choices. Frank Jr. and I will split the N.Y. strip, and the Caveman and Mr. Smith can share the roasted chicken. Mr. Smith orders a house salad; I find that I can’t remember whether or not I got one. What I do remember is ordering a margarita. And since the “18-oz. souvenir yard” is only a little extra, I get that.

I’m unprepared for 1) how this drink will hit me and 2) how silly I will feel with a 13-in tall plastic cup in front of me. It is now sitting on top of the refrigerator, since it won’t fit into any of the cabinets. When will I ever use this thing? Because it’s a “souvenir,” though, I’m sure I won’t get rid of it. Can I get a free refill on our next trip?

When none of the adult offerings appeal to them, our server kindly lets the Caveman and Frank Jr. order dessert (“Chunkwagon” sundaes) off the kids’ menu. We like our CM, but she isn’t a laugh a minute. She has more of a dry, sarcastic sense of humor – fits right in with us. She also has the straw flinging down pat.

After dinner, we hang around the WL for a bit. This is Mr. Smith’s favorite of the places we’ve stayed. I’m assuming that’s because of the beautiful building, impressive lobby, deluxe rooms, boat to MK, etc., but I’m mistaken. He likes their gift shop the best. It’s probably second to the Hess Station in his mind as the spot for picking up necessities.

We’re not going to pass on our last shopping opportunity, so we browse around the Merchantile. Frank Jr. adds to the family collection of Winnie-the-Poohs with a pirate. Maybe he can battle Indiana Jones Tigger. I get a Mickey charm and a Daily Mail to read on the way home. Camilla and Condi Rice are on the cover (not together). I just think it’s neat that I can get a British newspaper at the Wilderness Lodge.

Since I'm now drowsy from the liquor, we head back to the room. I’m out like a light and snoring like a freight train within minutes. Or so they tell me. I'm sure they're lying about the snoring part!

Next Installment: A visit to the Car Care Center, the 11-hour version of an 8-hour trip, and what happens when Mr. Smith really, really needs to use the bathroom.

 

[hucifer]

Oh Frankenpooh, I'm really going to miss your report when you're finished. You definitely make me smile!

 

[frankenpooh]

I'm working on the next (possibly last) installment. Will try to post sometime today.

Topics will include:

Turbo toilets
Mad Libs
Peeing in a cup
Frank Jr.'s jokes

Stay tuned!

 

[luciloo]

subscribing, can't wait to read more

 

[frankenpooh]

My kids: “You’re still writing about our trip?” Me: “Hey, this is timely. You should see some of these trip reports!”

Saturday, April 1 “The day when we were fools to try to go home from Disney World” – Frank Jr.

Our final call from the Disney Duo wakes us up around 7:30 a.m. Bleh. After finishing off the packets of oatmeal, we somberly pack up our stuff and start making trips to the car.

I realize that this has been my best packing job ever. It wasn’t perfect, mind you – the kids could have used another sweatshirt early in the week, and I guess we’ll be including 2 bathing suits per child from now on. But unlike a lot of DISers, I usually underpack. Socks, underwear, hairbrush, pants, makeup, eye makeup remover (see below). All have been omitted on one trip or another.

Frankenpooh’s tip of the day: Chapstick may be used to remove eye makeup in a pinch. Just don’t use the medicated kind; that stings!

Now one could argue that it’s not too hard to pack a bunch of t-shirts and shorts for a week in Florida. It’s not like we had to have a range of fashion choices. But I’m still patting myself on the back. Maybe getting started 3 weeks ahead of time is the key!

Time to say goodbye to the room and POR. Admit it; you all do it, too. You say “Goodbye, room, Goodbye hotel, Goodbye, Disney World” in a little sing-song voice as you leave.

Count me among the many Port Orleans fans on the DIS. Of the places we’ve stayed (CSR, WL, and BWI), this and the WL are my favorites. If we travel again during a period of good room-only discounts, I’d might book a deluxe, but otherwise it’ll be a mod or even a value (I’d like to try Pop Century).

I know one thing I’ll miss about this Disney resort – the toilets. Man, those things flush, don’t they? The water pressure is incredible. You could easily lose a toddler in there. In fact, the “whoosh” is so loud and so strong, I imagine some little ones would be frightened. No stopped up commodes at Disney World, though. I’m not looking forward to our low-flush models at home.

The occasional flush of one of these turbo toilets is the only noise from surrounding rooms that I’ve heard during our trip. I’ve not seen anyone nearby, either. Either POR is well-soundproofed, our building has not been full, or both. It has seemed very quiet and peaceful. I don't want to leave. Boo Hoo!

Mr. Smith returns from putting suitcases in the car and reports, “There’s a screw in the left front tire. We’re going to have to get it patched.” Yeah, right, I think. April Fool’s. He’s thinks this is funny because we really did have a flat on our first family trip to DW in 1998, when we blew a tire on the way home. “No, really.” My facial expression communicates my thoughts. “Please, please tell me you’re kidding.”

He’s not. Remembering our previous blowout, he checked the air pressure in the tires. One was quite a bit lower than the others, so he looked closely and saw a screw.

We all go out and inspect the tire. It’s lucky we can see the foreign object; otherwise, Mr. Smith would have added some air to the tire, and we’d have had the distinction of being the only family to blow a tire on the way home from DW on 2 different trips.

Off to the Car Care Center we go.

I’m wishing I could wander on over to the MK, but then I remember it’s a Saturday. No MK on Saturday! I can never forget that. Frank Jr. suggests we pass the time doing Mad Libs. He’s like the activities director for our car trips. “Who wants to do a Mad Lib?” “Let’s play 20 questions.” “Let’s play the alphabet game.”

If you are unfamiliar with Mad Libs, you’re missing something. It's the World's Greatest Word Game (at least that's what it says on the cover). I'm too lazy to describe it in detail, but you need to know your parts of speech. My best friend and I whiled away hours of our tween years doing Mad Libs, never suspecting they were considered educational.

I recommend Mad Libs as an excellent way to remember what adverbs are. Also, it’s pretty fun to have a few drinks and fill in the blanks with salty language. Not that I’ve ever done that personally.

The car is ready pretty quickly and, after stops to the restroom, gas pump and drink machine in the adjacent Hess Station, we’re on the road. We’re not concerned about the setback because we have all day today to get home and all day tomorrow to get used to being home.

We head toward Daytona on I-4. From the get-go, there’s a lot more traffic than on the way down. I start out driving, because when Mr. Smith drives the initial leg, he always wants to switch places just as soon as I close my eyes. I’d rather get my little shift of driving over and done.

I do not know the mile marker where the trouble began, but it’s not because I didn’t have time to jot it down. I could have written a novel during the time we spent sitting on I-4. Okay, maybe just one chapter of my trip report (WHY DIDN’T I DO THAT?!). Turns out there was a wreck somewhere up ahead. We cover approximately 8 miles in one hour.

Fortunately, we began our journey with empty bladders and a full tank of gas. Unfortunately, Mr. Smith began the journey with a 44 oz. fountain drink from the Hess Station as well. He needs to pee. Now! We’re not moving. There’s no exit in sight. Eventually things get serious. His bladder’s going to burst; burst, I tell you! That 44 oz. cup is going to come in handy. So are the tinted windows on our car. Mr. Smith crawls to the back of the van. The kids and I are laughing so hard we’re crying. When he returns, the cup is full. Put the lid on that thing! The kids are dying to pour it out the window, but, no, it rides in the cup holder with us until we finally do get to exit the highway.

Urine is sterile, folks. It’s not as gross as it sounds.

We finally make it to Daytona (where we stop for lunch) and eventually even out of Florida. Interstate 95 is just as unkind to us through the state of Georgia, where there are several patches of stop and go traffic, with no obvious accidents or road construction to explain them.

All in all, it’s a terrible drive. But we have Frank Jr.’s jokes to entertain us. Frank Jr. doesn’t just tell jokes; he makes up jokes. I write down a couple from the trip – “What to you get when you cross a guy’s scalp with the Country Bears?” “The Country Hairs.” “What do you get when you mix a forest and a chicken?” “A Poul-tree.”

There are more where these came from, let me assure you. They’re a great addition to any 11 hour car ride that should take 8 hours.

Sometimes I regret not getting a DVD player for the car.

Just kidding, Frank Jr. We love your jokes.

I’m printing out a copy of this TR for my scrapbook. Maybe I’ll edit it a little bit first.

Yea, I can do one more installment! Final chapter: What I learned from writing a trip report (sorry, Nicolemarie! Not trying to rip you off, just can't think how else to phrase it); Will she or won't she? Half-marathon plans!

 

[tinawv]

I have SO enjoyed reading your trip report. You are a delightful writer. It made me really homesick for WDW. I am hoping for another family trip in 2007. My family thinks I am crazy for not wanting to go anywhere else. I am slowly converting them one by one though.

Take care.

 

[hucifer]

At least you're giving us one more installment!

Too bad no one had a jellyfish sting in the car, you could have used your husband's urine for a good purpose.

 

[roberrl187]

Fortunately, we began our journey with empty bladders and a full tank of gas. Unfortunately, Mr. Smith began the journey with a 44 oz. fountain drink from the Hess Station as well. He needs to pee. Now! We’re not moving. There’s no exit in sight. Eventually things get serious. His bladder’s going to burst; burst, I tell you! That 44 oz. cup is going to come in handy. So are the tinted windows on our car. Mr. Smith crawls to the back of the van. The kids and I are laughing so hard we’re crying. When he returns, the cup is full. Put the lid on that thing! The kids are dying to pour it out the window, but, no, it rides in the cup holder with us until we finally do get to exit the highway.

Oh My God, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

Great report.

 

[amburger]

Aww, I'm sad that it's almost over. Sounds like an awesome trip. Wish I didn't have a year to wait till mine.

 

[lawlesslovewdw]

That has got to be the best trip report i have read

Can i come with you next time please.

 

[frankenpooh]

lawlesslovewdw -- Thank you for that wonderful compliment -- but I see you're new here, and I'm sure you will find some better TRs to read!

I still intend to post a final chapter (epilogue), but I'm having a terrible time writing it. Every day, I pull out my little notebook and can't think of a thing that's amusing or insightful to wrap up the TR.

But I did change my signature -- you can see what my future plans are!