The words, "Baby Mama," and "Baby Daddy," what do they mean to you?

[JanaDee]

To me, the phrase means the person was good enough to have sex with but not good enough to marry.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

It sounds trashy, sleazy and ignorant to me.

Ignorant about what?

 

[Mizzoufan]

I have never heard the terms used in a postive way.

 

[tzolkin]

Ignorant about what?

I think it sounds ignorant because it's grammatically incorrect. It's just one of those phrases that makes me cringe a bit.

As another poster mentioned, if you're going to use the phrase at all it should include an 's (my baby's daddy).

It also sounds odd (to me) to say "daddy" rather than "father" (or at least "dad") when speaking to another adult. For example, I might say, "Your daddy will be here soon" to a two year old, but if I was speaking to an adult I would say, "My son's father will be here soon."

 

[mom2rtk]

I think it sounds ignorant because it's grammatically incorrect. It's just one of those phrases that makes me cringe a bit.

As another poster mentioned, if you're going to use the phrase at all it should include an 's (my baby's daddy).

It also sounds odd (to me) to say "daddy" rather than "father" (or at least "dad") when speaking to another adult. For example, I might say, "Your daddy will be here soon" to a two year old, but if I was speaking to an adult I would say, "My son's father will be here soon."

I think the grammatically incorrect form is supposed to be a reflection on the person being given the label.

 

[Arielle22]

To me, if a parent is using that term to describe the other parent, it seems like they are trying to distance themselves and pretend there was never any relationship with that person. It used to be you would say your ex but baby mama and baby daddy seem to say "I had nothing to do with them and we only talk because of the kid".

I can't imagine a child hearing either phrase about their parent. We all know that some children were conceived under less than ideal circumstances but it shouldn't be thrown in their face.

 

[Colleen27]

I generally think of it as referring to the other parent of one's child(ren) when the children were born of a non-marital relationship that has since ended. Around me, I hear it used instead of "ex" because "ex" tends to be shorthand for ex-husband/ex-wife and can be uncomfortable for those who have never married to use.

As far as negative, positive, neutral, I think that probably depends on how the speaker and listener view unmarried childbearing. I tend to think of it as a neutral. It isn't openly insulting and doesn't contain an element of neglect within the term (like "sperm donor" does), so I wouldn't consider it negative. But I also don't think having children without being married is inherently negative. Someone who does would likely view the term differently.

 

[nkereina]

For me, the connotation is not derogatory. Just the unmarried mother and father of a child, whether they are a couple or not. And typically ones who have never been married to each other. I'd use it to describe parents not in a relationship, but I've heard the words used even when they are.

 

[WowLookAtThat]

I have heard it used not just towards a person's ex but also towards their own significant other. I have a friend who referred to his current girlfriend and mother of his child as "Babby momma". Of course, he also considered his time with his child as "babysitting".

 

[Disneylover99]

Ignorant about what?

ignorant meaning rude or uneducated

 

[glaserjm]

I deal with child custody issues for a living and never once has somebody used that term with me and then followed up with something positive about the other person or assigned any value to them as a person or parent. Therefore, I find the term derogatory and disrespectful to the child at hand.

 

[Turn the Page]

It sounds ignorant to me. It does not convey the sense of a respectful relationship and I feel sorry for the children hearing their parents referred to in this manner.

I guess I'm old too, but it also makes me grit my teeth when a man or couple says "we're pregnant". No, only the woman can be pregnant.

To the bolded that phrase doesn't really make me grit my teeth so much as just think to myself "if WE'RE pregnant then how about you take morning sickness and trips to the bathroom every 20 minutes this week." lol.

As to the OP, I view baby mama/ baby daddy as having a very negative connotation. It doesn't necessarily mean no long term relationship ever happened but it generally means the person being referred to is not really involved or is a bad parent. Kind of like calling someone a sperm or egg donor. The parents may have been married when the child was born but then split up and one parent became uninvolved and no longer supports the child financially or emotionally.

It's just not a good thing.

 

[IndianaMouse]

I'll just say the same thing I told my son and sister when they used that phrase in front of me. "You sound like you belong on the Jerry Springer show." I've never heard either of them say it again so I must of gotten my point across.

 

[glaserjm]

To the bolded that phrase doesn't really make me grit my teeth so much as just think to myself "if WE'RE pregnant then how about you take morning sickness and trips to the bathroom every 20 minutes this week." lol.

Not to hi-jack the original purpose of the thread but:

I jokingly asked DH if he would switch with me and be the pregnant one when we go to Disney in a few weeks so that I could ride some rides and have some cocktails. He said "that would be so unfair." Then I asked him what he thought the other 39 weeks were and he didn't really have an answer . Alas WE can never be pregnant.

I actually heard a man the other day say "WE are breastfeeding." I've gotten used to the "we're pregnant" thing by now even though it still irritates me, but that took the cake.

 

[sharona]

I have always viewed it to mean mother or father of the person's child when they are not married and not in a relationship. I've never heard it used as an indicator of parental involvement. I don't particularly care for the phrase but I can see it being easier to say than "the mother of his child - they're not together" or the father of her child - they're not married".

 

[Imzadi]

I have heard it used not just towards a person's ex but also towards their own significant other.

This. The times I've heard it were on places like TMZ and entertainment talk shows. And they usually mean it affectionately. It is the fastest & shortest way of saying: the couple are not (or never been) married and have a kid together. Instead of 10 words, it's two: Baby Daddy or Baby Mama.) Bam, two words describes the relationship. Whether it is a good or bad relationships is extra info.

Example: Halle Berry's baby daddy to daughter Nala is Gabriel Aubrey. (That relationship is very contentious. )

Isla Fisher, from Confessions of a Shopaholic, her baby daddy is Sacha Baron Cohen. (They have since married and have a second child.)

 

[NHdisneylover]

I also view it negatively.

I only seem to hear it when the person being spoken of is considered unimportant to the other parent and even to the child--totally uninvolved and is if their own "worth" was in the brief act of making the baby (or in the longer one of carrying it in the case of "baby mama").

 

[eliza61]

That the speaker is not very intelligent.

I don't think that's necessarily true. I do use the term. My niece has a "baby daddy". He dumped my dsil a year after she was born, said my sil had gotten fat and grossed him out (he's a gem!!). lives not 7miles away, doesn't see his daughter no help out.

No way in heck will I ever call him the "father" because I think that's an insult to my dh, my father and a gazillion other real dads

If that makes me "not intelligent ". ill wear the card.

Actually "babbydaddy" would probably be the nicest thing Ive called him.

 

[bethy]

It conjures up negative images for me. I don't use it. I makes me sad that people are so callous when it comes to bringing children into this world.

My thoughts exactly!

 

[penn19]

I don't know why but this made me laugh!! Homie.

It might be more mainstream, but that doesn't make it positive. Would you apply for a job or college scholarship and say "here is a letter of recommendation from my babydaddy and another from my homie"?