Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
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The What's On Your Mind Thread and the Countdown to Opening Day
- Thread starter Monorail Fan:)
- Start date
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
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The Day The Music Died
Retail | Santa Maria, CA, USA
(I am checking out a customer buying an MP3 player.)
Customer: “Does this come charged?”
Me: “I don’t think so, why?”
Customer: “Well, I want to listen to it on the way home.”
Me: “But there’s nothing on it.”
Customer: “There’s not? Where’s all the music then?”
Retail | Santa Maria, CA, USA
(I am checking out a customer buying an MP3 player.)
Customer: “Does this come charged?”
Me: “I don’t think so, why?”
Customer: “Well, I want to listen to it on the way home.”
Me: “But there’s nothing on it.”
Customer: “There’s not? Where’s all the music then?”
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
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IQ Phone Home
Call Center | Toronto, ON, Canada
Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [phone support]. What appears to be the problem?”
Caller: “Yes, I’m calling because I have been unable to make phone calls from my home phone.”
Me: “Ma’am, what phone are you calling from right now?”
Caller: “My home phone, why?” *pause* “Wait, you’ve fixed it! Thank you!” *hangs up*
Call Center | Toronto, ON, Canada
Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [phone support]. What appears to be the problem?”
Caller: “Yes, I’m calling because I have been unable to make phone calls from my home phone.”
Me: “Ma’am, what phone are you calling from right now?”
Caller: “My home phone, why?” *pause* “Wait, you’ve fixed it! Thank you!” *hangs up*
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
Zombies Need Healthcare Too
Doctor | South Bend, IN, USA
(I am on the phone.)
Me: “Dermatology, how may I help you?”
Patient: “Hi, I just had an autopsy done. I’d like to know my results.”
Doctor | South Bend, IN, USA
(I am on the phone.)
Me: “Dermatology, how may I help you?”
Patient: “Hi, I just had an autopsy done. I’d like to know my results.”
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
Tech Support | California, USA
Caller: “When is my DSL install going to be done?”
Me: “In two days, sir.”
Caller: “My wife and children just died in a car accident yesterday. I need the internet sooner than that.”
Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that. I will provide you a complimentary dialup account until your DSL is installed.”
Caller: “But dialup is too slow…cancel my order!”
Me: “Sir, if I cancel your order and you wish to schedule service again later, there is a three week wait.”
Caller: “I don’t care! Do it!”
(The next day, the same customer calls back.)
Caller: “Hi, I need to know when my DSL is being installed.”
Me: “Sir, you canceled your order yesterday. Would you like me to reschedule it?”
Caller: “Yes, but I’m not waiting weeks for it, my wife is divorcing me and my kids need it for school.”
Me: “I’m glad to hear that your wife and children have recovered from the fatal car accident.”
Caller: *silence* “So…can I still get the dialup until my DSL is installed?”
Me: “Absolutely!”
...
Caller: “When is my DSL install going to be done?”
Me: “In two days, sir.”
Caller: “My wife and children just died in a car accident yesterday. I need the internet sooner than that.”
Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that. I will provide you a complimentary dialup account until your DSL is installed.”
Caller: “But dialup is too slow…cancel my order!”
Me: “Sir, if I cancel your order and you wish to schedule service again later, there is a three week wait.”
Caller: “I don’t care! Do it!”
(The next day, the same customer calls back.)
Caller: “Hi, I need to know when my DSL is being installed.”
Me: “Sir, you canceled your order yesterday. Would you like me to reschedule it?”
Caller: “Yes, but I’m not waiting weeks for it, my wife is divorcing me and my kids need it for school.”
Me: “I’m glad to hear that your wife and children have recovered from the fatal car accident.”
Caller: *silence* “So…can I still get the dialup until my DSL is installed?”
Me: “Absolutely!”
...
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
Pizza Place | Wyoming, USA
Me: “Thanks for calling [Pizza Place]. Is this for carry out or delivery?”
Caller: “Yeah, uh, I need to order a small pizza for carry out.”
Me: “Sure, what would you like on it?”
Caller: “No cheese, ’cause I don’t like cheese.”
Me: “No problem.”
Caller: “And no sauce, I hate sauce.”
Me: “Okay. What toppings would you like?”
Caller: “Oh, just plain.”
Me: “Plain?”
Caller: “Yeah, no toppings.”
Me: “So, you want a small pizza with NO cheese, NO sauce, and NO toppings?”
Caller: “Yeah. Do you, like, have a special name for that?”
Me: “Bread.”
Me: “Thanks for calling [Pizza Place]. Is this for carry out or delivery?”
Caller: “Yeah, uh, I need to order a small pizza for carry out.”
Me: “Sure, what would you like on it?”
Caller: “No cheese, ’cause I don’t like cheese.”
Me: “No problem.”
Caller: “And no sauce, I hate sauce.”
Me: “Okay. What toppings would you like?”
Caller: “Oh, just plain.”
Me: “Plain?”
Caller: “Yeah, no toppings.”
Me: “So, you want a small pizza with NO cheese, NO sauce, and NO toppings?”
Caller: “Yeah. Do you, like, have a special name for that?”
Me: “Bread.”
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
Fast Food | Miami, FL, USA
Me: “How may I help you?”
Customer: “Cheeseburger and a small coke.”
Me: “Alright, your total is $2.99.”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “Your total is $2.99, sir.”
Customer: “No, it’s not. It’s free!”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “I won some of your scratch off things and got a free cheeseburger and small coke!”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, you should have said that sooner. Well, give me the coupons then.”
Customer: “I had to bring them?”
Me: “How may I help you?”
Customer: “Cheeseburger and a small coke.”
Me: “Alright, your total is $2.99.”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “Your total is $2.99, sir.”
Customer: “No, it’s not. It’s free!”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “I won some of your scratch off things and got a free cheeseburger and small coke!”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, you should have said that sooner. Well, give me the coupons then.”
Customer: “I had to bring them?”
/
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
Restaurant | Denver, CO, USA
Customer: “Is the chicken caesar sandwich vegetarian?”
Me: “No, ma’am. It has chicken in it. But we can substitute tofu if you’d like.”
Customer: “I don’t want tofu. Don’t you have any vegetarian meat?”
Me: “Vegetarian means no meat, ma’am. Would you like a non-vegetarian option?”
Customer: “No, I’m a vegetarian. Your menu says you have vegetarian options.”
Me: “We do have vegetarian options. Anything can be made without meat.”
Customer: “Why don’t you have any vegetarian meat?”
Me: “Are you sure you’re a vegetarian, ma’am?”
Customer: “Is the chicken caesar sandwich vegetarian?”
Me: “No, ma’am. It has chicken in it. But we can substitute tofu if you’d like.”
Customer: “I don’t want tofu. Don’t you have any vegetarian meat?”
Me: “Vegetarian means no meat, ma’am. Would you like a non-vegetarian option?”
Customer: “No, I’m a vegetarian. Your menu says you have vegetarian options.”
Me: “We do have vegetarian options. Anything can be made without meat.”
Customer: “Why don’t you have any vegetarian meat?”
Me: “Are you sure you’re a vegetarian, ma’am?”
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
Sandwich Shop | Rhode Island, USA
(The phone rings at around 6-ish.)
Me: “Hello, this is D-…”
(I hear loud crying in the background.)
Man: “Hello, Disney World? I’m just calling to say that if my children don’t finish their vegetables in the next five minutes, we won’t be visiting you this year.”
Me: “I…er…what?”
Man: *whispering* “Thank you.” *click*
(The phone rings at around 6-ish.)
Me: “Hello, this is D-…”
(I hear loud crying in the background.)
Man: “Hello, Disney World? I’m just calling to say that if my children don’t finish their vegetables in the next five minutes, we won’t be visiting you this year.”
Me: “I…er…what?”
Man: *whispering* “Thank you.” *click*
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
Movie Theater | Philadelphia, PA, USA
Customer: “I’d like two tickets for [movie], please.”
Coworker: “That movie is rated R. Can I see your ID?”
Customer: *shows an ID that states she is 18*
Coworker: “You need to be 21 in order to purchase an R-rated ticket for someone else.”
Customer: “But it’s for my son!”
Coworker: “How old is your son?”
Customer: “16…”
Coworker: “So you’re 18… and you have a 16 year old son?”
Customer: “That’s right!”
Coworker: “Let me get my manager…”
Manager: “Ma’am, you need to be 21 to purchase a ticket for a minor.”
Customer: “But he’s my son!”
Manager: “You’re telling me you gave birth when you were two years old?”
Customer: “YES! It happens, I promise you!”
Customer: “I’d like two tickets for [movie], please.”
Coworker: “That movie is rated R. Can I see your ID?”
Customer: *shows an ID that states she is 18*
Coworker: “You need to be 21 in order to purchase an R-rated ticket for someone else.”
Customer: “But it’s for my son!”
Coworker: “How old is your son?”
Customer: “16…”
Coworker: “So you’re 18… and you have a 16 year old son?”
Customer: “That’s right!”
Coworker: “Let me get my manager…”
Manager: “Ma’am, you need to be 21 to purchase a ticket for a minor.”
Customer: “But he’s my son!”
Manager: “You’re telling me you gave birth when you were two years old?”
Customer: “YES! It happens, I promise you!”
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
Me: “Your total is $**.**.”
(The customer hands me card, I run it and hand it back to her.)
Customer: “Oh, no! That’s my debit card! I don’t have any money in my account. It’s going to be declined.”
Me: “Well, your purchase went through.”
Customer: “Oh, well, if it went through, that means I have enough money in my account.”
Me: “Well, not necessarily. My brother got himself into a lot of debt by using his cards after he’d reached his limit.”
Customer: “You mean I could still use this card even if there’s no money in the account?”
Me: “It’s possible, but I’m not familiar with your bank system.”
Customer: *to friend* “Do you want to go to the nail salon?”
(The customer hands me card, I run it and hand it back to her.)
Customer: “Oh, no! That’s my debit card! I don’t have any money in my account. It’s going to be declined.”
Me: “Well, your purchase went through.”
Customer: “Oh, well, if it went through, that means I have enough money in my account.”
Me: “Well, not necessarily. My brother got himself into a lot of debt by using his cards after he’d reached his limit.”
Customer: “You mean I could still use this card even if there’s no money in the account?”
Me: “It’s possible, but I’m not familiar with your bank system.”
Customer: *to friend* “Do you want to go to the nail salon?”
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
Government | Maine, USA
(We are responsible for the placement of traffic signs. I get this call from a resident where we just placed a deer Crossing sign.)
Me: “Hello, [government office]. How may I help you?”
Resident: “Yes, you just placed a Deer Crossing sign down the street from my house.”
Me: “That’s right.”
Resident: “Well, I am not happy with its location. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of deer cross the roads in my neighborhood.”
Me: “What is your concern about its location?”
Resident: “I’d like you to move it down the road a few yards. It would be a lot more convenient if the deer knew to cross there. Can you do that before they get used to it where it is?”
(We are responsible for the placement of traffic signs. I get this call from a resident where we just placed a deer Crossing sign.)
Me: “Hello, [government office]. How may I help you?”
Resident: “Yes, you just placed a Deer Crossing sign down the street from my house.”
Me: “That’s right.”
Resident: “Well, I am not happy with its location. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of deer cross the roads in my neighborhood.”
Me: “What is your concern about its location?”
Resident: “I’d like you to move it down the road a few yards. It would be a lot more convenient if the deer knew to cross there. Can you do that before they get used to it where it is?”
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
It's raining!!
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
Music Store | Bellevue, WA, USA
(I approach a teenage girl who seems to be looking for something.)
Customer: “Do you have the Evanescence CD?”
Me: “That would be over here. It looks like the only one we have left right now is a Australian import version, if that is okay with you?”
Customer: “What does that mean? Is she singing in Australian or something?”
(I approach a teenage girl who seems to be looking for something.)
Customer: “Do you have the Evanescence CD?”
Me: “That would be over here. It looks like the only one we have left right now is a Australian import version, if that is okay with you?”
Customer: “What does that mean? Is she singing in Australian or something?”
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
Music Store | Burton on Trent, UK
(There were a series of compilation albums on release called “Air Guitar Hero”, which had a very tongue-in-cheek advertisement. I had just sold a copy to a customer who returned to the store 10 minutes later.)
Me: “Are you OK there?”
Customer: “Well, I didn’t get my free air guitar with this CD.”
Me: “Excuse me? I’m not sure what you mean.”
Customer: “This CD, it’s supposed to come with a free air guitar.”
Me: “…”
Customer: “On the advertisement, the one on TV. It says comes with free air guitar!”
Me: “Um, that’s a joke they made on the advertisement.”
Customer: “But it says on the advertisement I get a free air guitar with this album!”
(There were a series of compilation albums on release called “Air Guitar Hero”, which had a very tongue-in-cheek advertisement. I had just sold a copy to a customer who returned to the store 10 minutes later.)
Me: “Are you OK there?”
Customer: “Well, I didn’t get my free air guitar with this CD.”
Me: “Excuse me? I’m not sure what you mean.”
Customer: “This CD, it’s supposed to come with a free air guitar.”
Me: “…”
Customer: “On the advertisement, the one on TV. It says comes with free air guitar!”
Me: “Um, that’s a joke they made on the advertisement.”
Customer: “But it says on the advertisement I get a free air guitar with this album!”
Mickeysgirl34
"I'm thinking of good vibrations."
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2010
- Messages
- 13,766
Laptops in Math Class :'D
Sorry if I don't come on much this week,my mom is giving me time limits because she's sick and cranky -_-
Sorry if I don't come on much this week,my mom is giving me time limits because she's sick and cranky -_-
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
onehundredwords's top albums (overall)
1. My Chemical Romance - Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (853)
2. Lights - The Listening (498)
3. The Used - The Used (418)
4. The Narrative - The Narrative (372)
5. He Is We - OLD DEMOS (361)
6. Armor for Sleep - What To Do When You Are Dead (342)
7. The Used - In Love and Death (341)
8. AFI - Very Proud of Ya (328)
9. Lights - LIGHTS. ACOUSTIC (320)
10. The Used - Artwork (313)
Top albums last time I updated my Last.fm profile...not sure when that was since I almost always delete things from my Recent Activity.
1. My Chemical Romance - Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (853)
2. Lights - The Listening (498)
3. The Used - The Used (418)
4. The Narrative - The Narrative (372)
5. He Is We - OLD DEMOS (361)
6. Armor for Sleep - What To Do When You Are Dead (342)
7. The Used - In Love and Death (341)
8. AFI - Very Proud of Ya (328)
9. Lights - LIGHTS. ACOUSTIC (320)
10. The Used - Artwork (313)
Top albums last time I updated my Last.fm profile...not sure when that was since I almost always delete things from my Recent Activity.
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
onehundredwords's top albums (overall)
1. My Chemical Romance - Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (898)
2. Lights - The Listening (499)
3. The Used - The Used (446)
4. My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade (407)
5. He Is We - OLD DEMOS (401)
6. The Narrative - The Narrative (376)
7. AFI - DECEMBERUNDERGROUND (370)
8. AFI - Very Proud of Ya (358)
9. The Used - In Love and Death (358)
10. Armor for Sleep - What To Do When You Are Dead (342)
Some barely changed, lol...
1. My Chemical Romance - Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (898)
2. Lights - The Listening (499)
3. The Used - The Used (446)
4. My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade (407)
5. He Is We - OLD DEMOS (401)
6. The Narrative - The Narrative (376)
7. AFI - DECEMBERUNDERGROUND (370)
8. AFI - Very Proud of Ya (358)
9. The Used - In Love and Death (358)
10. Armor for Sleep - What To Do When You Are Dead (342)
Some barely changed, lol...
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
I have two top album things on my Last.fm.
Raven_the_Bird
<font color=darkorchid>Don't make me be myself aro
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2007
- Messages
- 83,430
One updates every 20 days...
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