The Unofficial Chatterbox Thread! Everyone is Welcome!

[funnygarcia]

I made hubbies appt. today. I am totally freaking out about it. I just dont know... are we REALLY done? I know we are. Unless we win the lottery or something. Anyways.. It is set for Sept. 17th. It seems so soon.

It's a hard decision but I agree with Alison if you know in your heart that your family is complete then it is done. There is a deep satisfaction in raising your kids and watching them grow into adulthood. Channeling your energies and hopes into being the best parent you can be for your children.

Besides, you will still be young when the twins are out of high school.. think of all the time you will have being with Frelan and still feel uhhh frisky and ready to eagerly explore the world together.

Then a bit of wait .. and grandkids to spoil.

Spoil em rotten and send them home to their mommies/daddies and be the neurotic grandmother giving weird advice and dropping off weird gifts that your own children will say "what the heck was she thinking???"

You know as much as people say such evil things about raising teens, I have to say .. it has been a smooth ride. Parenting teens has been easy compared to those early years. I still have N who just turned 13, he was my "difficult" child in the early years. But I don't foresee any huge problems, maybe we are so laid back about it all now.. easy to remember how we felt at that age.

 

[eatmypixiedust]

Hello, just a quick post.

Staley- I hope everything works out well. I'm not sure what to say since I don't have any kidlets.

Sarah- I could see and smell smoke that has been blowing over to my area from the fires. I'm not sure where they are but I heard there are several in Los Angeles. I went to Burbank last weekend and was able to see 2 clouds of smoke coming from the mountains behind Ikea.


I went to the mall 1-2 weeks ago and noticed cute back to school merchandise in Sanrio. I saw that they had a cute Pochacco thermos and bought that. I was told there was a lunchbox but it was sold out. I went to another local Sanrio a few days later and they didn't have it either. They said it was seasonal and wouldn't be getting any more in once they ran out.

Yesterday I called the store in Glendale and they had it in stock. I went over there after work and I also had to return something to another store there anyway, so I walked around the mall there. I found the lunch box and it's insulated and comes with a top and bottom zipper compartment. It also came with a cute plastic container. Here's a pic I found:

I rarely see Pochacco items so I'm glad I was able to get this lunchbox I know I'm crazy but it made me happy. LOL.

 

[staley7580]

Sooo... we had a visitor this evening. Alexs DAD. OMG, NO, I am so not joking. We have not seen him since Alex turned 5. His fifth freaking b-day!! I talked to him a while ago.. I dont know if you all remember, but Alex was kinda prepared. He knew who he was, since I had shown him a picture.. Anyways.. Alex was THRILLED. So was Kaylee.. Even though she had no idea who he was, and ran in the bedroom telling her dad that we had a "customer" Anyways.. He stayed for a couple of hours, and Alex just chatted his ear off about everything.

Of course he shows on a day that I am completely exhausted and my house is a complete HOLE. Oh well. He has known me for like 9 years... so he knows I am a slob. We were all pleasant. Kaylee jumped all over him, and both kids used him as a spring board for a while. They kept jumping on his balls... and I LAUGHED.. Just a little revenge. I asked him about getting Alexs passport, and he said he would go whenever I wanted. He also promised he would come back monday.. I wish he hadnt done that. Alex is going to be so broken hearted if he doesnt show. He offered to get Alex some school supplies.. But I already have them.

Anyhow, it was crazy.. Alex had to go to bed right after he left, so I will talk to him tomorrow about how he is feeling about all of this. Im surprised he didnt cry when he showed up. I really thought he was going to a few times. Especially when he asked why he hadnt come to see him for so long. He said.. Im seven now. Did you know that? ouch. I know that hurt.. I hope it did anyways.

 

[MotoXPrincess99]

Hello. There's not too much smoke this morning but it got worse as I headed to work (about a 1/2 hour west of where I live). They lifted the mandatory evacuation for the house above me and the smoke looks like it blowing the other direction.

 

[sameyeyam]

Cute lunch pail Pix.

Glad to hear the fire's headed the other way Sarah!

WTH Megan? Oh well, just go with the flow. He sounds very similar to my father. I think you are doing the right thing. Let Alex see him for who he is and eventually as he gets older he will form his own opinion. It's what my mother let me do and I am very grateful that she always let me see him on the rare occasion that he decided to be a "dad". It's always hard to see a child get disappointed, but there are life lessons to be learned and disappointment and learning about people (good or bad) are just a part of growing up. It would be great if X decides to become a responsible part of his life. But you know the odds are probably against that. So I applaud you for just letting it just be what it is.

You know I do have a relationship with my biological father now. He wasn't there for a lot of my life and I still resent that to a degree. But he has been there for some parts of my life the last few years. It doesn't erase the past, but it does make me feel that he's not all bad and that he learned from his mistakes. I am slowly learning to let go of my resentment over his lack of responsibility. He wasn't there for me when I was young, he's somewhat there for me now. But I do know that if I ever truly needed him, he would be there for me. So that's a start.

 

[pixiewings71]

Staley I don't know your situation with Alex's Dad but it seems my girls' Dad's are all the same way. I have 3 girls, a 21 y.o. a 13 y.o. a 9 y.o. The 21 y.o. has a different Dad and he hardly ever came around when Cami was young, when he did it was for short visits and the 1 time (yes, 1 time) he took her to stay with him in OK (he's military so that was always his excuse) she was 7 or 8 and he had remarried, well Cami ended up sleeping all day and being up all night, watching her half sister who was 3. Her Step-Mom was on the phone all day/night so Cami did everything, yes, even cooking. I was so mad when she got back and told me that. He never asked her to come visit him again, not once......and the little girls, their Dad lives in Long Beach, we are 6 hrs away and he hardly ever sees them. They did spend 2.5 weeks with him this summer but that was his Mom's doing not his! Before that the only times he saw them was when we would allow him to take them while we were visiting DL for our family vacations.....pretty sucky. We've been divorced since DD9 was 3.


Cute lunch pail!!! We used to have a Sanrio store but it's gone now.
I'm glad the fires are going the other way Sarah, what a relief!!

Well busy work week for me, I'm exhausted! I mentioned that we did a last minute DL trip last weekend, well Monday I had to go to the Nickelback show for work so I didn't get home until almost 2, then I worked all yesterday and I'm tired today!! LOL It was hard to get up today! Thank goodness the rest of the week is a normal week for me. LOL

 

[staley7580]

Cute lunch pail Pix.

Glad to hear the fire's headed the other way Sarah!

WTH Megan? Oh well, just go with the flow. He sounds very similar to my father. I think you are doing the right thing. Let Alex see him for who he is and eventually as he gets older he will form his own opinion. It's what my mother let me do and I am very grateful that she always let me see him on the rare occasion that he decided to be a "dad". It's always hard to see a child get disappointed, but there are life lessons to be learned and disappointment and learning about people (good or bad) are just a part of growing up. It would be great if X decides to become a responsible part of his life. But you know the odds are probably against that. So I applaud you for just letting it just be what it is.

You know I do have a relationship with my biological father now. He wasn't there for a lot of my life and I still resent that to a degree. But he has been there for some parts of my life the last few years. It doesn't erase the past, but it does make me feel that he's not all bad and that he learned from his mistakes. I am slowly learning to let go of my resentment over his lack of responsibility. He wasn't there for me when I was young, he's somewhat there for me now. But I do know that if I ever truly needed him, he would be there for me. So that's a start.

Thanks.. and thats what we figured.. We will let Alex see that he is scum. As much as I want to protect him from that, I know that Alex needs to see. I called my mom to tell her, and she was BAWLING. She was all... if he hurts Alex, I swear.. I dont care how much it costs me, he will NEVER see him again! I told her it was fine for now, we will see how it goes. Alex was really happy to see him, adn thats what matters.

Staley I don't know your situation with Alex's Dad but it seems my girls' Dad's are all the same way. I have 3 girls, a 21 y.o. a 13 y.o. a 9 y.o. The 21 y.o. has a different Dad and he hardly ever came around when Cami was young, when he did it was for short visits and the 1 time (yes, 1 time) he took her to stay with him in OK (he's military so that was always his excuse) she was 7 or 8 and he had remarried, well Cami ended up sleeping all day and being up all night, watching her half sister who was 3. Her Step-Mom was on the phone all day/night so Cami did everything, yes, even cooking. I was so mad when she got back and told me that. He never asked her to come visit him again, not once......and the little girls, their Dad lives in Long Beach, we are 6 hrs away and he hardly ever sees them. They did spend 2.5 weeks with him this summer but that was his Mom's doing not his! Before that the only times he saw them was when we would allow him to take them while we were visiting DL for our family vacations.....pretty sucky. We've been divorced since DD9 was 3.


Cute lunch pail!!! We used to have a Sanrio store but it's gone now.
I'm glad the fires are going the other way Sarah, what a relief!!

Well busy work week for me, I'm exhausted! I mentioned that we did a last minute DL trip last weekend, well Monday I had to go to the Nickelback show for work so I didn't get home until almost 2, then I worked all yesterday and I'm tired today!! LOL It was hard to get up today! Thank goodness the rest of the week is a normal week for me. LOL

Well.. Basically I got PG with Alex when I was 20... Young and STUPID. His dad was with me throughout the pregnancy, but I lived alone.. He did some appts. with me, was there at the birth.. But soon after he was born he started really drifting away. He still helpe with Alex for the first six months, but when I met Frelan, my dh.. Alexs bio dad got angry really drifted away. He still saw him occasionally, then it went to every few months.. He showed up on his fifth birthday after not seeing him for about 6 months or so... and we hadnt seen him since. Alex is seven and a half now.

I would sporadically get child support. Im getting it now, and he called a few months back when he started working again and wanted to see Alex. I said okay, but he never called back. Then he showed up last night...

My dh LOVES Alex. He is his daddy.. He calls him daddy... He is everything he knows. But my son is half black, and my husband is about as white as white can be, and that is the reason he really started to question things. I think it started when the twins were born... Jasmine is darker complected then Vinny, and Alex asked if she would be black like he is. Thats when I realized I needed to sit down with him and explain things. Then when his dad called... I sat down with him again to ask if he wanted to see him, and he just cried. Heartbreaking.

Im sorry about your kids dads... That just blows! I dont understand how people can have kids, and not CARE. I cant go a day without seeing my kids. They are my world!

 

[pixiewings71]

Thanks.. and thats what we figured.. We will let Alex see that he is scum. As much as I want to protect him from that, I know that Alex needs to see. I called my mom to tell her, and she was BAWLING. She was all... if he hurts Alex, I swear.. I dont care how much it costs me, he will NEVER see him again! I told her it was fine for now, we will see how it goes. Alex was really happy to see him, adn thats what matters.


Well.. Basically I got PG with Alex when I was 20... Young and STUPID. His dad was with me throughout the pregnancy, but I lived alone.. He did some appts. with me, was there at the birth.. But soon after he was born he started really drifting away. He still helpe with Alex for the first six months, but when I met Frelan, my dh.. Alexs bio dad got angry really drifted away. He still saw him occasionally, then it went to every few months.. He showed up on his fifth birthday after not seeing him for about 6 months or so... and we hadnt seen him since. Alex is seven and a half now.

I would sporadically get child support. Im getting it now, and he called a few months back when he started working again and wanted to see Alex. I said okay, but he never called back. Then he showed up last night...

My dh LOVES Alex. He is his daddy.. He calls him daddy... He is everything he knows. But my son is half black, and my husband is about as white as white can be, and that is the reason he really started to question things. I think it started when the twins were born... Jasmine is darker complected then Vinny, and Alex asked if she would be black like he is. Thats when I realized I needed to sit down with him and explain things. Then when his dad called... I sat down with him again to ask if he wanted to see him, and he just cried. Heartbreaking.

Im sorry about your kids dads... That just blows! I dont understand how people can have kids, and not CARE. I cant go a day without seeing my kids. They are my world!

Our stories are similar then. I got pg with Cami at 16, I married her Dad, we tried to make it work but he was abusive so I left. Met the little girls Dad and we were together for 10 years, then he wanted to have an "open" relationship, which just meant he wanted to screw around, so I got a job and left. LOL It's hard when our kids' Dad's are such complete losers, luckily I found someone who accepted me and my 3 kids (1 of which was a teen with major angst) and we've been together for 7 years now. Not married but that's OK with me, we live together and operate as a family unit so it's all good.
DD13 has realized that her Dad's mostly a loser. She really doesn't care if she talks to him or visits him, in fact she told me something to the effect of "they just ignore J and I anyway, they pay more attention to Dad's "new" kids then they do us". Their Dad is remarried and has 3 more kids (he can't afford to support the 2 he had with me and now he has 3 more) they are 5, 3 and 6 months. Well they went to the WAP and they did everything that their half brother wanted to do, nothing that my girls wanted to do and my girls don't get to do the WAP that often. I think that really opened C's eyes to who her Dad really is. It's heartbreaking because it's a lose that you can't get back but it's also refreshing to me to know that she's realizing what kind of person her Dad is. kwim? DD9 still adores him but I know her time will come. Oh and when I got them back from him it was C's actual bday, so I asked her what she got and she said "nothing, but Gma gave me a gift card for the bookstore", she was brought back wearing last years shoes that she had worn completely thru, she was walking on her sock thru the hole in her shoe!! So, before we went to DL we took her shopping for a new pair of shoes.

One good thing about being a young parent is having grandchildren when you're young. Cami (DD21) just had a baby in February....a baby girl, she's adorable!!!! I love her to pieces! Oh and did I mention that the girls' Dad had a baby 2 week after my first grandchild was born? LOL Too much drama! LOL

 

[sameyeyam]

DH and I just celebrated our 20th anniversary this summer. He knows better then to divorce me. Why you ask? Because I told him if he even thinks about divorce I will leave him with both kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, a tankful of very pregnant guppies and the mortgage payment.

Now that we are buying the beach lot, he said "WooHoo, now if you kick me out I have a place to live". My response "Uh, I don't think so! Unless you think living with two kids and two cats in a 25 foot long trailer is your idea of paradise". (I decided I would take the responsibility of the two cats).

 

[staley7580]

DH and I just celebrated our 20th anniversary this summer. He knows better then to divorce me. Why you ask? Because I told him if he even thinks about divorce I will leave him with both kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, a tankful of very pregnant guppies and the mortgage payment.

Now that we are buying the beach lot, he said "WooHoo, now if you kick me out I have a place to live". My response "Uh, I don't think so! Unless you think living with two kids and two cats in a 25 foot long trailer is your idea of paradise". (I decided I would take the responsibility of the two cats).

We always joke about if we split.. YOU get the kids. NO. YOU get the kids! Nuh-uh!!

 

[disneegrl4eva]

well well well...I see this board is still alive and kicking I havent been on DIS boards since god knows how long and I just thought I would for old time sakes and also because Im going back to DL and have to check out the inside info that people hear about long before the rest of the world just read a few posts and good to hear everyone is doing ok..Staley my girl you already know what I would say about Alex dad mmmhhhmmm....honestly there is no right or wrong way to do it...you just have to do what you think is right and live with that decision...Alison I did the same thing your mom did and although it broke my heart and made me literally visualize murdering that jack***, I did it in the hopes that she would realize that it was him that was the jerk and that if and when he ever told her that it was "me" who wouldnt let him see her (you know to get out of hot water) oh and which he did, she turned around and told him not to bull**** her that she knew better...so for me it all worked out and she saw him for who he is...it just really sux and I totally feel for you having to watch him go through that UNECESSARY painanyways I will be around some so hope to talk to you guys later....

 

[sameyeyam]

Somehow I feel as if I've stepped into a time warp, another dimension, the Twilight Zone. I wasn't sure this was the right thread. Hi Lynn!

 

[disneegrl4eva]

Hey Ali dang girl you STILL have that SAME tag all this time??? time to get a new one chica how was your bday?

 

[sameyeyam]

Hey Ali dang girl you STILL have that SAME tag all this time??? time to get a new one chica how was your bday?

What can I say, I put Tag Fairy Repellant on every morning. My birthday was....heck I can't remember! So I'm sure it was good. How was yours?

 

[disneegrl4eva]

What can I say, I put Tag Fairy Repellant on every morning. My birthday was....heck I can't remember! So I'm sure it was good. How was yours?

haha mine was good...I drove to vegas that day with Andrea and she took me to Mon Ami Gabi (a restaurant inside Paris Hotel and Casino) and it was really good...we sat outside and our table had a perfect view of the Bellagio Water Show...it was really nice

 

[sameyeyam]

haha mine was good...I drove to vegas that day with Andrea and she took me to Mon Ami Gabi (a restaurant inside Paris Hotel and Casino) and it was really good...we sat outside and our table had a perfect view of the Bellagio Water Show...it was really nice

I remember seeing that, either on your or Andrea's FB page. Honestly, I can't remember what I did on my birthday! I was just sitting here trying to think and my mind was completely blank. Guess I'll blame it on chemo brain again, my mental crutch.

 

[disneegrl4eva]

I remember seeing that, either on your or Andrea's FB page. Honestly, I can't remember what I did on my birthday! I was just sitting here trying to think and my mind was completely blank. Guess I'll blame it on chemo brain again, my mental crutch.

aww

 

[sameyeyam]

aww

I swear I used to be the one that remembered everything. It's not that I forget lots of things, it's just that I forget things that I shouldn't forget.

About a month ago I was in a Fred Meyer store with my friend. There is a Fred Meyer store about 1 block away from my office that I go to alot. All of the sudden we were walking along in the garden section and I could not remember what Fred Meyer store I was at (they are a NW chain) and then I couldn't remember what city I was even in. I knew I wasn't in the one by my office, but I had no idea where we were at. I walked about 5 aisles over and was just about to ask my friend where we were at, when all of the sudden I remembered. Freaked me out!!

I seem to remember all kinds of little things, but all of the sudden big things just seem to slip out of my mind. It's actually quite common after chemo.

 

[disneegrl4eva]

I swear I used to be the one that remembered everything. It's not that I forget lots of things, it's just that I forget things that I shouldn't forget.

About a month ago I was in a Fred Meyer store with my friend. There is a Fred Meyer store about 1 block away from my office that I go to alot. All of the sudden we were walking along in the garden section and I could not remember what Fred Meyer store I was at (they are a NW chain) and then I couldn't remember what city I was even in. I knew I wasn't in the one by my office, but I had no idea where we were at. I walked about 5 aisles over and was just about to ask my friend where we were at, when all of the sudden I remembered. Freaked me out!!

I seem to remember all kinds of little things, but all of the sudden big things just seem to slip out of my mind. It's actually quite common after chemo.

blame on menopause or something like that lol

 

[sameyeyam]

BTW, who are you again? J/K!! I don't forget people, just things like my address, how old I am, and what city I just drove to....you know, little things!