Wednesday July 15th aka Day 4 aka Two Happyhaunts Make Blizzard Their *****!!!!!
Mellyman had taken off speedwalking to secure our happy place. Wellllll... mostly Me(l)'s happy place. TBH. I moseyed along. Just singin' my song. in my head. Which was "Zombie" at that particular moment.
In your head, in your head. Zombie zombie zombie hey hey
Which was pretty normal. I get that one stuck in my head all the time. Can't get the damn zombies outta my head. Perhaps they are eating my brains.
Rounded the corner by Polar Pub and saw Mellyman setting up our spot. Way in the far corner... under one of those giant shade bumbershoot thingies.
He had grabbed it before anyone else and made us a little nest by putting one lounger and two chairs together. And then dragging all the other ones away. From us. PERFECT!!!
I helped him organize a bit and then we were off to rent a locker and put our locker-stuff away. When we were paying for the locker at the Beach Haus I started talking to the CM ladies and asking them if they had premium guest areas and all that. They do!!! Lodge Picnic Umbrellas and Polar Patios!!!
Which we would NOT be enjoying TODAY my friends!!!! Cause I was off the panic train. Baybee!!!! But just so you know... same deal as Typhoon Lagoon. Around $50 and $300. If you reserved them.
One CM asked us where we were from????? And I said we were from "regions beyond... Canada." Mellyman's lips got slinder. Heh heh. She then told me she LOVED Montreal. So beautiful yada yada blah. I agreed but asked her did she realize it was:
French??????? Funnily enuff... she did. Odd but whatever. Southerners confuzzel Me(l) sometimes. We left because Mellyman was literally pulling me outta the giftshop. Literally. But I rolled her some tide anyway.
Off to the lockers and I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAD!!!! It was *of course* the top row of lockers. Great. Because I like to tie the key to my bikini bottom strings and then never take it off all day. I just check that I have it eleventeen hundred times. Sometimes when the locker is waist high or just below it's really easy to open without removing it. Several times I have had a lower and even lowest locker that I must basically oddly squat or actually kneel down to open. This one was gonna be hard I was thinking. Mellyman would have to cheerleader or overhead press lift me... over his head. Today. Which he wouldn't be doing... because his shoulder is pretty badly Murphed.
(one of our friends who has *ALSO* blown his shoulder out as well. But way before Mellyman did.) TFI.
What I'm saying here is this: that one day you might just spy a happyhaunt doing some weird moves by the lockers at one or both of the Disney Water Parks to avoid bikini bottom key removal. As her OCD demands.
It's alright it's alright it's alright she moves in mysterious ways
It's alright yada yada
Back to our happy retreat and we commenced to lounge pretty vigorously. Mellyman reading his paper and me just chilling and people watching. My sport. Even better at waterparks!!!!
Mellyman: Mel? What are you eating?
Me(l): Mmmnnn... mnuffin'.
Mellyman: A cookie?
Me(l): Yep.
Mellyman: You're eating steak!
Me(l): Meat cookie. Want some?
Mellyman: Ummmm. NO!
Me(l): Your loss. But I'll save you some.
(back in the cooler bag)
Then I put sunscreen on, SPF 60. Mind the freckles! And told Mellyman to put some on too. And also to do my rear view. Please.
He said "Later". To which I replied "Now". Then he said "NO". And I looked at him sternly and held out the sunscreen, "IT RUBS THE LOTION ON IT'S SKIN! OR ELSE!!"!!! (NOHannibalVector)
It works. All the time. And it's all fun too!
We lounged some more. Until I was so bored so so so bored.
Time to PLAY!!!! So we headed of to Cross Country Creek so do some rivereering. Lazily. I jumped into it... quickly and first, popped up and grabbed a tube. Got the hell away from the Hippo. Also dangerous and unpredictable when submerged. He managed to awkwardly climb, crawl, slide, do it again and finally perch in his tube like a giant shrimp tempura roll tail guy. Which you can totally eat the tail. Cause it's fried. Anything can be eaten when fried btw. Prolly even white dog****.
We proceeded to do the same as the day before. I steered Mellyman around and around. Around groups of people and around the lazy river. Many times. Prolly four times. It was over an hour and a half I think. It was relaxing and eventually Mellyman grabbed another tube to put his legs on too and then I steered him and his two tubes.
He fell asleep. OLO!!!!! Not joking. Full on snoring asleep. Which was hilarious. Not only to me but also to many others on the lazy river that day.
One of my favourite Disney memories this trip!!!!
Unlike a hippo tho Mellyman cannot actually sleep underwater. And then bob up to take a breath and sink back down. Every five minutes or so. (NOD Vector our Wildlife Director)
So I had to lifeguard my hippohaunt in the river. Finally I woke him up with a blast of icy cold sneeze water from the ICE GATOR!
Which he wasn't lovin' it. But I meant it.
Back to our beach chairs and lounger. Mellyman continued to read his paper and I continued to people watch. Mellyman finally started people watching to. He noticed a lot a lot of female bums out. Like fully out. It was like The Day of The Triffids Bums. There were SO MANY thong bikinis. There.
He didn't like it. He thinks it is inappropriate at a Disney Water Park. I agree. Too. Not... very magical. Or family friendly. Then, again, Beth is not allowed to wear yoga leggings around home either. And, especially, not on a date. NO WAY GIRLIE!!!! Dad's rule.
Ouch. He's an old fart. He is.
After awhile we got hungry. And Mellyman reminded me that we had a
Walmart to be at. To return the stupid useless Fifty Shades Darker camera.
back to the locker. Get some clothes. Get our stuff. Leaving other stuff at our shady relaxing spot for our return. After our offsite adventure.
We rode!!!! To Walmart. yes again. yes. But this time Mellyman just ran in to return the camera and was back, magically, in a FLASH!
FIFTY SHADES FREED!!!!!!
Idiotic camera. Moronic books.
We gotta gets us some eats!!!! OH hail yay!!!!
And, even better, cause it was a surprise to Mellyman. We were headed to Sweet Tomatoes baby!!!! On the way there Mellyman asked Me(l) what it was. I merely said that he would like it. Didn't elaborate. Obviously.
Parked and walked in. I talked it up to Mellyman..."Yes. It's a nice bright clean place. yum yum. Grab a tray. Take a plate. Start with the salads. I'll go first. Then I'll find a table. Okay? Great."
I had to get ahead of him. quickly.
PLUS... OH... I was so excited to try this place for the first time!!!! I had read the reviews on TripAdvisor. And heard good things. Sounded yummy, healthy and most of all... super duper cheap!!!!
Because... there is
nomeat. no. meat.
No matter. I was jazzed. In fact I was feeling *just* like Bumbershoot rolling some vegetarian salad tide!!!! And here's another tip. If you wanna enjoy some enjoyable Disboarding... read anything by Bumbershoot. Anything. Literally. any. thing. I'm a big fan. Is what I'm sayin' here.
love her!
SAVE THE BUMBERSHOOT!!!!
I got some lemonade, some soups and found a table.
Pretty soon Mellyman joined me with a tray of salad, soup and soda.
Mellyman asked me if I realized there was NO MEAT??! NONE MEAT!!!!! Here. At the buffet. I countered by pointing out there were bacon bits at the baked potato bar.
And...some tiny chicken bitsish on the focaccia. bread.
Some chili with *meat*? Maybe?
And tons of CHICKPEAS!!! meat *like* ish. protein.
Mellyman started in on complaining and crabbing.
Oh. No crab. Either. Melly. Heheh
Then he said that the kicker is this: NO BEER!!!!!!



Then he said:
"And why the HELL do you keep calling me Mr. Bumbershoot?"
Cheers, Mel
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