The seven degrees of blondes

manning

Just for that I have requested it
Joined
Feb 12, 2002
Messages
13,352
FIRST DEGREE



A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment, and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up. The husband said, 'Who was that?'

The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'


SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'

The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'

So, the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'

THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'

The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next !'


FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me... I know 'em all.'

A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'

The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy. Its W.'

FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: 'Is it mine?'

SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .'

SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond..

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND COP!'
 
Two blondes are driving in their car to Disneyland. At the end of their exit from the 5 freeway, a sign says, "Disneyland - LEFT."

So they turned around and went home.
 
What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?

a hostage
 
HEHEHEHEHHEHEHE


(I see no good coming to this thread!!!!!)


RUM?


A blond was driving onto the freeway, as she entered, she immediately slammed into the side of a car in the next lane. when the police arrived, she told the police that she was only following instructions.

The officer, not understaing, asked her what she was talking about.

The blond said, "Well, the sign said, freeway traffic, merge! and had a little picture of two arrows coming together!"
 

I am married to a blonde* and I approve of this thread. :thumbsup2


* But don't read anything into that! My wife went through both undergrad (doubling in Math & Physics) and law school on full academic scholarships and is the senior staff attorney for an appellate court judge -- no flies on her. ;))
 
How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

Scroll Down. --->
























































<----- Scroll Up.



:lmao:
 
As a natural blonde, surprisingly, I find this funny. :)

Blonde jokes are just silly and people that are offended just need to relax a little.
 
What is brown and black and blue and lying in a ditch?

A brunette who told too many blonde jokes.
 
What do you call a brunette standing between 2 blondes?





Jealous!! :rotfl:
 
How do you drown a blond?


























Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool. :lmao:
 
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax”. Then he said with a deep sigh,


...."Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
 
Two blondes were hiking in the woods. They came to some tracks, and the first blonde said, "Oh, these look like moose tracks" and the second blonde said, "No, they look like deer tracks"

They kept arguing and arguing and were still arguing when the train hit them.
 
One day a blonde was in her kitchen mixing up a batter for a cake.

Her 4-year old son comes in and asks if he can lick the bowl.

She says "No, just flush it like everyone else".




What do you call 12 blondes standing shoulder to shoulder?
A Wind Tunnel

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes


(I'm a natural blonde and I've heard 'em all, usually right before someone says, ooh, sorry, didn't know you were there).
 
Know why there are so many blonde jokes?






















So brunettes can understand them.
 
What goes...Vroom Screech...Vroom, screech...vroom, screech....

A blonde driving through a flashing red light.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory...she was throwing out all the W's.
 
Say, do you know who came up with the first blonde joke???? :confused3
















A bunch of Brunettes on a Saturday night with nothing else to do. ;)
 


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