The Power of a Praying Wife 12/17- UPDATED *** #139 - His Relationships

[DisTeach1]

I read this thread every day, so don't get frustrated if no one posts...I think people do read it and take it to heart!

 

[smfritz03]

I love the thread and it gives me something to think of at work and to keep praying throughout the work day! Just hard to post daily, but I will. Would love if we could get a discussion/support group going!

 

[live4christp1]

Hi smfritz03 and Disteach1! Thanks for the words of encouragement.

Starting next week I'm going to break down the first two chapters The Power & His Wife for as long as they will last. Hopefully we can chat/discuss and get to know one another a little better during this time. Please feel free to post anything on your heart as time allows!

Thanks,
Cristy

 

[pixie dust 112]

Well I just found this thread and read all the way through it. I'm going to buy the book this weekend. This is just what I needed at this point in my life. I've been very stressed and frustrated with my DH lately. But just reading your thread makes me feel better already! I don't know if I'll post much (or at all) but I will be coming back everyday and will be joining in the prayers! Thank you so much OP!

 

[live4christp1]

Well I just found this thread and read all the way through it. I'm going to buy the book this weekend. This is just what I needed at this point in my life. I've been very stressed and frustrated with my DH lately. But just reading your thread makes me feel better already! I don't know if I'll post much (or at all) but I will be coming back everyday and will be joining in the prayers! Thank you so much OP!

Thanks! I have to say that this book changed my life and my marriage..........in fact I'd say the encouragement from this book to pray about everything brought me to God in a way I'd never experienced before and in turn the Lord healed a very hurt and troubled marriage that was almost all but written off as a total failure.

 

[live4christp1]

Hi friends! Forgive me for not posting today and tomorrow. Just really feel lead of the Lord to be in prayer for our nation the next two days. I've started a thread in that regards if you'd like to join.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1999323

Feel free to look back through these pages for a topic relating to the 3rd. I will resume on the 5th.

Cristy

 

[bpr2002]

I read through this thread because I've been using this book for the last few weeks. My husband moved out because he feels we are just friends and the romantic feelings aren't there. I was devestated because he is my soulmate and we have been married for six years. We've been best friends for over 10 years. My husband was diagnosed with depression and is now on medicine and he has been dealing with problems at his job including a woman who decided he should leave me for her. I know that only God can help my husband so I keep praying everyday for marriage. Thank you for starting this thread. I believe God can and does work miracles everyday. I am praying the Lord will help save my marriage.

 

[live4christp1]

Wednesday November 5, 2008 – November Special Part 1 – The Power

You can find a few excerpts from this chapter at post #63 on this thread. This is such an important chapter along with His Wife that I want to spend the month of November looking at the two of them. If you are just joining in and/or those of you who have been reading along I encourage you now to commit to pray daily for your husband, even when you don’t feel like. Be open to examine areas of fault in your own life and allow God to change you, which in turn will have a huge impact on your marriage.

Proverbs 31:10-12 – Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Today’s excerpt:

“First of all, let me make it perfectly clear that the power of a praying wife is not a means of gaining control over your husband, so don’t get your hopes up! In fact, it is quite the opposite. It’s laying down all claim to power in and of yourself, and relying on God’s power to transform you, your husband, your circumstances, and your marriage. This power is not given to wield like a weapon in order to beat back an unruly beast. It’s a gentle tool of restoration appropriated through the prayers of a wife who longs to do right more than be right, and to give life more than get even. It’s a way to invite God’s power into your husband’s life for his greatest blessing, which is ultimately yours, too.”

“Praying for your husband is not the same as praying for a child (even though it may seem similar), because you are not your husband’s mother. We have authority over our children that is given to us by the Lord. We don’t have authority over our husbands. However, we have been given authority “over all the power of the enemy” (Luke 10:19) and can do great damage to the enemy’s plans when we pray. Many difficult things that happen in a marriage relationship are actually part of the enemy’s plan set up for its demise. But we can say, “I will not allow anything to destroy my marriage.” “I will not stand by and watch my husband be wearied, beaten down, or destroyed.” “I will not sit idle while an invisible wall goes up between us.” “I will not allow confusion, miscommunication, wrong attitudes, and bad choices to erode what we are tying to build together.” “I will not tolerate hurt and unforgiveness leading us to divorce.” We can take a stand against any negative influences in our marriage relationship and know that God has given us authority in His name to back it up.”



Lord today I pray that You would give me wisdom in my marriage. That I would allow You to sift my words before they are spoken, that You would give me wisdom on when to say something and when to hold my peace. Help me to bring everything before You. I pray that You would be the center of our relationship and the foundation of our family. Help me to correct wrong attitudes and actions in myself. Help me to see my husband through Your eyes and realize that You have created him just as You would have him be. Thank You Lord for Your hand in our lives.

 

[live4christp1]

Thursday October 6, 2008 – The Power

Today’s excerpt:

“Wait! Before You Write Off the Marriage……”

“I confess right now that there was a time when I considered separation or divorce. This is an embarrassing disclosure because I don’t believe either of those options is the best answer to a troubled marriage. I believe in God’s position on divorce. He says it’s not right and it grieves Him. The last thing I wan to do is grieve God. But I know what it’s like to feel the kind of despair that paralyzes good decision making. I’ve experienced the degree of hopelessness that causes a person to give up on trying to do what’s right. I understand the torture of loneliness that leaves you longing for anyone who will look into your soul and see you. I’ve felt pain so bad that the fear of dying from it propelled me to seek out the only immediately foreseeable means of survival: escape from the source of agony. I know what it’s like to contemplate acts of desperation because you see no future. I’ve experienced such a buildup of negative emotions day after day that separation and divorce seemed like nothing more than the promise of pleasant relief.”

“The biggest problem I faced in our marriage was my husband’s temper. The only ones who were ever the object of his anger were me and the children. He used words like weapons that left me crippled or paralyzed. I’m not saying that I was without fault – quite the contrary. I was sure I was as much to blame as he, but I didn’t know what to do about it. I pleaded with God on a regular basis to make my husband more sensitive, less angry, more pleasant, less irritable. But I saw few changes. Was God not listening? Or did He favor the husband over the wife, as I suspected!”

****I have to admit to being in this very same place. In fact, there was a period of time that we were separated. Up until that point I had felt just as the author speaks that it would be a relief. Then I realized how much I wanted our marriage to work. Realizing also after a time of trying to fix it myself that I couldn’t and I gave it to God. Purchasing this book literally changed my life, my relationship with the Lord, and saved my marriage.

Today I pray that the Lord would continue to work in my life. That He would give me grace and help me to impart grace and mercy. That He would be in our marriage and continue to help us work toward growing together in Christ.

Today I also pray for all those who might be reading this and feeling the same situation or have been there at one point. I pray for Your hand Lord in their lives, that You would direct them and give them wisdom. Let them know that there is hope and healing if they will but bring it to You.

 

[live4christp1]

I read through this thread because I've been using this book for the last few weeks. My husband moved out because he feels we are just friends and the romantic feelings aren't there. I was devestated because he is my soulmate and we have been married for six years. We've been best friends for over 10 years. My husband was diagnosed with depression and is now on medicine and he has been dealing with problems at his job including a woman who decided he should leave me for her. I know that only God can help my husband so I keep praying everyday for marriage. Thank you for starting this thread. I believe God can and does work miracles everyday. I am praying the Lord will help save my marriage.

Hang in there. Prayer does work. And Yes, God does do miracles, our family is testament to that. Another book I would recommend is by Kay Arthur - A Marriage Without Regrets. I think it would minister to you in your situation. If you need someone to talk too, please feel free to PM me.

Cristy

 

[live4christp1]

Today's excerpt:

"God impressed upon my heart that if I would deliberately lay down my life before His throne, die to the desire to leave, and give my needs to Him, He would teach me how to lay down my life in prayer for my husband. He would show me how to really intercede for him as a son of God, and in the process He would revive my marriage and pour His blessins out on both of us. We would be better together, if we could get past this, than we could ever be separated and alone."

"I began to pray every day, like I had never prayed before. Each time, though, I had to confess my own hardness of heart. I saw how deeply hurt and unforgiving of him I was. I don't want to pray for him. I don't want to ask God to bless him. I only want God to strike his heart with lightning and convict him of how curel he has been, I thought. I had to say over and over, "God, I confess my unforgiveness toward my husband. Deliver me from all of it.""

"The power that resurrected Jesus is the very same power that will resurrect the dead places of your marriage and put life back into it. "God both raised up the Lord and will also raise us up by His power" 1 Corinthians 6:14. It's the only power that can. But it doesn't happen without a heart for God that is willing to gut it out in prayer, grow through tough times, and wait for love to be resurrected. We have to go through the pain to get to the joy."

Lord today I want to thank You, first for bringing me to this book so many years ago, for the words of wisdom spoken here, for teaching me how to lay down my life in prayer for my husband. For helping me to look passed the hurt, the unforgiveness and the bitterness. For giving me hope of a better future. For putting our lives back together. Help me continue to guard my marriage in prayer and never take my husband for granted.

 

[bpr2002]

Bump. So others can read and be inspired.

 

[live4christp1]

Hi everyone! First let me apologize for dropping off this thread. The last couple of weeks have been really hectic with my mom being in the hospital and finding our her cancer had spread, issues here at work with lay offs, etc. Finally it seems like a little normalacy has returned to my schedule so hopefully I'll have a few minutes to post each day. Still reading and praying. Hope you will continue to join in.

Today's excerpt:

"YOU have to decide if you want your marriage to work, and if you want it bdly enough to do whatever is necessary, within healthy parameters, to see it happen. YOU have to believe the part of your relationship that has been eaten away by pain, indifference, and selfishness can be restored. YOU have to trust that what has swarmed over you, such as abuse, death of a child, infidelity, poverty, loss, catastrophic illness, or accident can be relieved of its death grip. YOU have to determine that everything consuming you and your husband, such as workaholism, alcoholism, drug abuse, or depression, can be destroyed. YOU have to know that whatever has crept into your relationship so silently and stealthily as to not even be perceived as a threat until it is clearly present - such as making idols of your career, your dreams, your kids, or your selfish desires - can be removed. YOU have to trust that GOD is big enough to accomplish all this and more."

"If you wake up one morning with a stranger in your bed and it's your husband, if you experience a silent withdrawal from one another's lives that severs all emotional connection, if you sense a relentless draining away of love and hope, if your relationship is in so bottomless a pit of hurt and anger that every day sends you deeper into despair, if every word spoken drives a wedge further between you unil it becomes an impenetrable barrier keeping you miles apart, be assured that none of the above is God's will for your marriage. God's will is to break down all these barriers and lift you out of that pit. He can heal the wounds and put love back in your heart. Nothing and no one else can."

"But you have to rise up and say, "Lord, I pray for an end to this conflict and a breaking of the hold strife has on us. Take away the hurt and the armor we've put up to protect ourselves. Lift us out of the pit of unforgiveness. Speak through us so that our words reflect Your love, peace, and reconciliation. Tear down this wall between us and teach us how to walk through it. Enable us to rise up from this paralysis and move into the healing and wholeness You have for us."

This section of "The Power" is completely highlighted in my book (but then again, so is almost everything else). DH and I have been together for almost 19 years and I have probably felt almost all of these emotions at one point or another during that time, anger, resentment, just drifting apart, disconnected. God did a miraculous work in our marriage, sure we still have disagreements and spats but we both know we are committed to make it work with God's help. One of the things God really convicted me of while first reading this book was my disrespect of my husband and how saying just little smart cutting things really hurt him. Another useful book for me has been "The Five Love Languages" and being able to understand the differences in how each of us express and receive love. I honestly believe in the power of God to restore a marriage, no matter what state it is in but one person in the relationship has to be willing to totally give themselves over in prayer, expecting nothing in return from the other person, but fully relying on God to work. And all marriages, no matter what the state, can grow and benefit from being covered in prayer.

Today I pray that the Lord would help me not to get so wrapped up in the every day tasks of life and it's responsibilities that I get to a point of neglecting to pray for my husband and our marriage. Help me to express to him each day how important he is to me. Help me not to hold on to petty indifferences and not try to get even when I feel wronged. Grow us closer to You Lord and closer to one another.

 

[live4christp1]

I'm posting this today but technically it should have been yesterday's......so today is bonus day and you get two for one!

Monday December 1st - His Wife

The first time I read this book one verse that jumped out and slapped me in the face right away was Proverbs 21:19 - Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman. Wow! God really showed me how self righteous and pious I had become. Quick to point out DH's faults and flaws, place blame, etc. I couldn't see my own faults. This chapter works a lot by working from the inside out......it starts with a deep look into ourselves. Sometimes that's hard, it hurts, I had a lot of stuff buried in there and if I'm not careful....it's easy to do again. To hold onto hurt and unforgiveness......it doesn't go away, it just sort of festers and eats away at you.

Today's excerpt:

"If you feel you are able, try this little experiment and see what happens. Pray for your husband every day for a month using each one of the thirty areas of prayer focus I have included in this book. Pray a chapter a day. Ask God to pour out His blessing on him and fill you both with His love. See if your heart doesn't soften toward him. Notice if his attitude toward you doesn't change as well. Observe whether your relationship isn't running more smoothly. If you have trouble making that kind of prayer commitment, think of it from the Lord's perspective. Seeing your husband through God's eyes - not just as your husband, but as God's child, a sone whom the Lord loves - can be a great revelation. If someone called and asked you to pray for his or her son, you would do it, wouldn't you? Well, God is asking."

"Shut Up and Pray"

"There is a time for everything, it says in the Bible. And it is never more true than in a marraige, especially when it comes to the words we say. There is a time to speak and a time not to speak, and happy is he man whose wife can discern between the two. Anyone who has been married for any length of time realizes that there are things that are better left unsaid. A wife has the ability to hurt her husband more deeply than anyone else can, and he can do the same to her. No matter how much apology, the words can't be erased. They can only be forgiven and that is not always easy. Sometimes anything we say will only hinder the lfow of what God wants to do, so it's best to, well, shut up and pray."

"When Michael and I were first married, I didn't say much if I felt something was wrong. I stuffed my feelings inside. After our first child was born, I became increasingly vocal. But the more I voiced my objections and opinions, the more he resisted and the more we would argue. Whatever I said not only accomplished nothing in the area I wanted it to, it had the opposite effect. It took me a number of years to learn what millions of women have learned over the centuries. Nagging doesn't work! Cristicizing doesn't work. Sometimes, just plain talking doesn't accomplish anything either. I've found that prayer is the only thing that always works. The safeguard you have with prayer is that you have to go through God to do it. This means you can't get away with a bad attitude, wrong thinking, or incorrect motives. When you pray, God reveals anything in your personality that is resistant to His order of things."

Lord today I thank You so much for the wonderful lessons You have taught me. Though they have been hard, and sometimes I'm a slow learner and have to learn the hard way, You are always patient with me. Help me to remember to come to You first. Give me wisdom on what to say and when. Sift my words through Your hands first. Reveal to me wrong attitudes, actions and motives. Help me to continue on this journey of becoming a praying wife. Help me remember to see DH through Your eyes and know that he is Your's and You love him.

 

[live4christp1]

Tuesday December 2nd - His Work

This is an area that constantly seems out of balance with DH. He just doesn't seem to be able to find his place. He works and is a hard worker, eager to provide for his family but he just never feels content or fulfilled. He's learned some hard lessons about working for people you attend church with to the point of almost walking away from church. So this is definately an area that requires a great amount of prayer. I believe God has the perfect place for him and will provide it at the right time.

Today's excerpt:

"Even if your husband already has a successful career, it's still good to pray thathe is where God wants him to be and that everything will continue to go smoothly. My husband, who is a songwriter and record producer, said he felt my prayers have prevented him from working with the wrong clients. He has never worked with anyone who is difficult, weird, evil, or unsuitable, which is nothing less than a miracle in his business. He knew I always prayed that God would lead him to the right people and remove from his path those who would be trouble. While our prayers cannot ensure a trouble-free road for our husbands, they can certainly steer them clear of many problems."

"If your husband is a hard worker, make sure he has times of rest and enjoyment - to do things that entertain him and give him a reprieve from the weight of a lifetime of supporting a family. Men need periods of refreshing. If they don't have them, they are prone to burnout and temptation of all kinds. Your prayers can help your husband understand that the true meaning of life doesn't come from work, it comes from following God. Let's pray for our husbands to find that perfect balance."

Today I pray for my DH. That You Lord would prepare the perfect job for him. That You would also prepare him for that job. Help him to develop the necessary skills and pursue the training that is needed. Reveal to him what You would have him to do. Help me Lord to be sensitive to his need for rest and relaxation......and not have a bad attitude or resentment about all the football games, sports talks about the game, interviews with the players after the games. Yes, Lord, I confess I do tend to have a negative attitude about that but I'm trying to learn to like football and at least watch one game a weekend with him. Please continue to help me. Give me patience. Thanks for being patient with me.

 

[live4christp1]

Please feel free to post. I'd love some company, feed back, etc.

 

[live4christp1]

Wednesday December 3rd - His Finances

Finances can be a big issue. I probably struggle more with this than DH does. He is always eager to give and help others especially missionaries, someone in need, etc. While I tend to be more concerned with having enough $$ to pay the bills. Don't get me wrong, I love to give and I love to shop for gifts for others....I enjoy seeing the joy it brings to them.....but it's hard for me to trust God to provide, even though He has shown me this time and again. I remember one time many years ago, we were very young, hadn't been going to church long, didn't understand a lot about the tithe etc. It came time to collect the offereing and all I had was a $50.00 bill. The money in the bank was for bills so I didn't want to write a check. So not wanting to "not" give anything, I placed the $50 in the plate thinking.....okay....what do I do for gas this week. Well later that day when I was doing a load of laundry I went to get the clothes out of the washer to go in the dryer and right on top of the clothes lay two wet $20 bills.....that's back when gas was about $0.76 so plenty of money for gas and then some.

Today's excerpt:

"So many money problems can be solved by putting all finances under God's covering and doing what He says to do with them. That means giving when He says to give. When you do, God promises to deliver you, protect you, bless you, heal you, and keep you alive. When you don't, you will experience the same desolation the poor do. "Whoever shuts his ears to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and not be heard" Proverbs 21:13. Not giving cuts off your own ability to enjoy what you have and leads to lifelong difficulties."

"It may not be possible to use prayer to avoid every financial problem because God sometimes uses finances to get our attention and teach us things. But your prayers will certainly help protect your husband from unnecessary struggle and loss. God's desire is to bless those who have obedient, grateful, and giving hearts, whose true treasure is in the Lord. "Where your terasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21. God wants your husband to find his treasure in Him, not in his finances."

Lord today I thank you for a DH who is very giving and compassionate. Thank you that he doesn't struggle against Your will when he feels impressed to give and he is not miserly with his money. I pray that you would help me to have a spirit that would give more easily without the worry of provision. That we would trust You in the area of our finances and know that You are the provider and everything we have belongs to You and should be used to Your will.

 

[live4christp1]

Friday December 5, 2008 - His affection

Affection is one of my DH's love languages. It's one of the ways he receives love. Sometimes it's hard for me to get this one, as it isn't one of my top love languages (The Five Love Languages - excellent book) so I've had to teach myself to express love to him this way.

Today's excerpt:

"Tom and Patti had been married a number of years before she actually had a serious talk with him about his lack of affection. Tom was a wonderful husband in every other way and their s_ _ relationship was good, but apart from the act itself, there was no affection. It wasn't because Tom didn't love Patti - he adored her. it was because affection was something he grew up without as a child. Patti felt guilty about the way she was feeling and didn't want to criticize or hurt Tom, but she had not known affection as a child, either, and that's why she needed it so in her marriage. Each time Patti confronted Tom about this problem he would try to change, but soon things were back to the way they had been. This led to great frustration and hurt in both of them. Eventually Patti became hopeless and felt like she was dying inside. She didn't see how she could live the rest of her life without affection, but she saw no hope of Tom's ever being any different."

Lord today I pray that you would remind me often to show affection to my husband. Help me remember that it is an important part of how he receives love and it's something his heart desires and he needs. Help me to hug him and show him affection, teach me to love him in his language.

 

[live4christp1]

Hi friends! I hope you all forgiving for such sporadic posting as of late. Life has been very busy. My mom is really sick (cancer) and it's been a really stressful time for me. Even though I know that God holds something far better for here after this earthly life, it's hard to watch her go through this and it's been/is emotionally draining.

Had a little time at lunch today so here's today's excerpt:

Wednesday December 17, 2008 - His Relationships

"Isolation is not healthy. We all need the influence of good people to keep us on the right path. Every married couple should have at least two strong believing couples with whom they can share encouragement, strength, and the richness of their lives. Being around such people is edifying, enriching, balancing, and fulfilling, and it helps us keep perspective when things seem to grow out of proportion. Having the positive qualities of other people rub off on us is the best thing for a marriage."

"Being good friends with goldy people who love the Lord doesn't just happen by chance. We must pray that such people will come into our lives. And then when we find them, we should continue to cover the relationships in prayer. We should also pray the bad influences away. The Bible says we must "not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers" 2 Corinthians 6:14. This doesn't mean we can never be around anyone who isn't a Christian, but our closest, mot influential relationships should be with the people who know and love the Lord, or there will be consequences. "The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray" Proverbs 12:26. That's why it's very important to have a church home where it's possible to meet the kind of people you need. Choose to be around the highest quality people you can, the ones whose hearts are aimed toward God."

Today's chapter has given me a burden for our relationships. We really need to seek out some other couples of like faith to fellowship with. We have friends but not one's we feel really close to.

Lord today I pray that You would bring good Godly friends into our lives. That You would give DH friends who honor You and seek to do Your will. That they would be an encouragement to each other and edifying. Guard those friendships. Lord I ask you also to protect us from wrong friendships and relationships, that You would keep them from our path.

 

[bpr2002]

bump
I hope this thread will inspire and give hope to others.