Well, well, well......where do we start?????
Ed is right this might take several days and/or posts to cover this fully. Authored by Manny, not Michelle...the Banana Boat Jumper!!!!!
We arrived at the Radisson on Wednesday at about 5:30PM on Wednesday, there was a trading meet of sorts at the pool which eventually moved into a conference room, after about five minutes I headed for the bar where the funniest bartender I have met in a while, I think her name was Susan??? She just bought a new Suburban , I do remember that!!! The bar ran out of almost everything, cranberry juice, rum, vodka...ect. I tried to tell the bartender to call the General Manager at home and tell him to do a liquor and juice run to Publix and Walgreen's....she agreed!!!! Finally they scrounged up a bit of everything at the tiki bars, room service...ect.
We got to the terminal early, 9:30AM on Thursday, they would not let us in until 10:30-10:45AM. We were directed to the day parking lot by the curbside dude! While in the parking lot we met several pin traders who also arrived early and were waiting. As soon as I pulled in the parking lot the first person in the entrance to the lot pulled out and I had the prime spot to be first or second in line to get in the terminal. For some reason I have been having excellent luck being first or second in line at pin events, not by design I might add. I have never had luck in anything in my life before, I guess the dry spell is over! I drop off Michelle and Dylan to check in. Now off to park, we have to stand in line waiting for the garage door opening dude to show up...it's not Disney if there is not a line you know!!!!! Brent (Cruella's (Kim) husband gets antsy and drives around asking for the garage opening dude, the ticket handing dude says, that's a union job and I can't open the gate or I'll get grieved!!!!! (This is why I think unions suck!!!...sorry they had their day, they killed the steel industry, the killed the airline industry, they almost killed the American automobile industry and....sorry wrong topic!!!!!)
Finally we get the gate dude to open the gate...parking $24 bucks for 3 days.....I told the guy, I'm just going to the kennel and he gives me this union look like, what the hell are you talking about????? You scammers know what I'm talking about so don't pretend you don't!!!!!!!!!!!!
Michelle and Dylan proceed to check in, I show up the next day or so and they are wondering what happened....I explained. Now, Michelle is a refugee, (Canadian by birth, don't worry I don't let her drive in Orlando) she has to give up her Green card and of course she proceeds to tell the lady behind the check in desk how to do her job, the lady reassures her this is how slaves are treated on any ship today!
There are a few people mingling about the terminal, I walk over to get in line and....first in line once again! Believe it or not someone came up to me and ask me what my secret was???? I explained it.
So, we are waiting for 2 hours or so until embarkation begins at 12:30. There is a group of visitors board first and the pin traders almost riot, physically challenged board second, mentally challenged (us) lastly. When you came aboard they announce the such and such family over a microphone, before you get up to the guy with the mike they ask you your name, I said; the "Charlie Manson's.......which they had no clue who he was!
Anyway at this point everyone turned around to look!!!!!
Now it's the dash to Studio Sea.....quick, quick, think...scams, scams, scams....how many can we figure out!!!!!
We check in everything is cool, luggage arrived..no problem.
Lunch!!!!, the theme of these cruises should be; Eat, Nap, Eat, Nap, Eat, Nap, Eat, Nap!!! Our waiters, Marijo and Goram our servers were awsome,
DCL if you read this these guys are awesome!!!!! Dragan, Daniele, and the Chef (can't recall name) at Palo were awesome also....OK, Dragan was beyond awesome just because he put up with a group of Pin Traders!!!! Great food and service all the way around the ship!!!!! Kudos...whatever the hell that is! Candy bar!!!
The chocolate souffle was orgasmic!!!!! The Chilean Sea Bass was cooked perfect, the veal scallopine was great, the steak was cooked perfect...ok they overcooked Michelle's but they got her a new one! She *****es about everything anyway.
Oh, oh...the Captain comes on in the PA system some kid was pushed by a pin trader in Treasure Ketch in order to get an LE pin and he broke his wrist!!! The ship has to turn around and meet a mediboat and dump the kid!!!!
Does this mean there will be a delay in releasing any pin?????? Gee, I hope not!!!!
Well...well, well, let's talk about karaoke night now!!!!!!
There were many participants, the winner, Winnie was superb with her rendition of "I will always love you"!!!! By the way Fred and Winnie won everything, they won the Dating Game, they won the Karaoke contest, the disco dance contest....my conservative image of Fred and Winnie is forever a bad memory. Fred won the John Travolta contest...he was jamming!!!!! Way to go Fred!!!
Winnie does not drink, so when she was offered a drink before singing her song the Proxy Drinker...AKA Michelle, (my wife) jumped at the opportunity....over and over again!!!!
Back to the Karaoke contest and Ed's rendition of "Feelings".........Englebert Humperdink will never ever be able to sing this song without someone in the crowd saying......"Ed did a much better job then Englebert ever did!!!!!
I cannot say enough about Ed's rendition of Feelings, I only regret we did not have a camcorder to record the auspicious occasion! Hopefully DCL has it on film and will release it on the next Boa Divas video!!!!!
No, Ed did not take off his top much to the dismay of the crowd!!!!!!
Next was the some other bar and activity. It was a bar with 2 piano players, you make a request and they sing it for you!
Well, one of the piano players made the mistake of asking Ed to come up and help out with a song. Ed jumped on one of the pianos and, well DCL has a piano on order! Ed proceeded to lift his top and rub his nips in a circular motion...the crowd went wild!!!!! I can't even remember the song!!! Hopefully Ed will provide some input with the details here or Donna!
When we arrived to Nassau we disembarked and quicky jumped on a shuttle bus we thought was taking us to Atlantis! Little did we know this shuttle took us about 100 yards to the end of the pier, geting in the bus took longer then the ride!
Finally we get a van to take us to Atlantis where Dana, Michael, Michelle and myself had the pleasure of enjoying!
I think the group as a whole came out ahead about .25 cents in the casino!!!!!! The property is beautiful but, it kind of reminds me of the Miami Arena. If you live in South FLorida you know what I mean!!!!!!!!
Oh yeah, there has been several Eat, Nap, Eat, Nap, Eat, Nap in between all this action!!!!!!
The department of Traffic building in Nassau is an architectural breakthrough design, you must stop by and see this if you ever visit Nassau!!!!!
Don't forget to get your hair braided by Mary or any of the other 900 women waiting for you once you get to the end of the pier!
Off to
Castaway Cay..................it rains all night and it is overcast when we get there in the AM which is fine because it'ss 750 degrees outside! We get off the boat and some chick asked me if we got the pin we wanted, you know the one in the bottle...I said, of course we did. We walk a few steps and my wife says; you know who that was?, I said no, someone from the boards? She says no, it's Ricki Lake you idiot!!! What lake I said???? You know Ricki Lake the talk show chick!!!
Oh...is she unemployed now or what????? Off to the BBQ...............the Salmon was delicious, so was the steak sandwich...the fixings left a lot to be desired though, there weren't any left!!!!!!!
At this point or so we see Ed pedaling his *** on a bike he stole from a kid down the road along with his better half. Mind you he is still in jeans and his Rauland polo and it's 750 degrees outside and he is pedaling a bike......he finally gives in and takes off his pants and we finally see his boxers and pasty white legs. Are you sure you are a hispanic dude or a Brit?????? Leslie who is from Connecticut had a better tan then Ed and a better personality...wink, wink!!!
OK...let's get to the part you all have been waiting for, henceforth to be referred to as the "Banana Incident" or BI for brevity. Michael, Corey, Leslie, Peggie, Suzanne, went on the banana boat ride early in the morning when the seas were calm. They enjoyed it, they loved it so much they talked Michelle, Adrianne, Anne,Dylan and myself to try it again with them in the PM.
We agreed, paid and were ready to go!!! We get to the beach, get our life vests and we hop on the big banana.......by this time the seas are kicking up a bit and the clouds are rolling in.......it was getting windy.
We head out and the Sea Doo driver decides there is too many people on and he decides to tell the number 2 guy on the Sea Doo to get off so the vessel can go faster!!!!! Now there is only one driver and he can't look back to us and drive in case something happens, this is what the second guy on the Sea Doo does, he watches the riders!
We are off and the driver starts heading out to the ocean, and going, and going, and going, by this time we were experiencing 4-5 foot waves and we were hopping pretty good, there was nervous laughter about, when all of a sudden there is quiet on the Banana...wait where is Michelle??? The baudy wench flew off. Kevin the native driver heads back and gets his gaff out to hook the redheaded snapper out of the sea! She is uncooperative due to uncontollable laughter! By this time the waves get bigger and a wave comes that almost tips the Sea Doo from front to rear on top of Kevin and the wench...Kevin of course opts to save the wave runner and dumps the redheaded snapper. By this time everybody is confused, some are asking if we get another free ride, some are urging Michelle to get the hell out of the water because we are about to miss a cocktail party, even this did not prompt Michelle to jump back on the banana!!! Dylan is telling me to get my butt off his hands.
Back for a third try...finally Michelle is back on board! We are heading back and the waves are ripping pretty good, Kevin hauls butt, we bounce, Michelle falls into the mid section of the banana and asked if she could just stay there???
Kevin says, No way white girl get your redheaded *** back on the banana!!!!! Four hundred years of slavery, I'll fix your Brit *** today!!!! Finally we get to shore where Ed and Donna thought we were on an excursion to Cuba!
I told them no, we just stopped to get a little redheaded snapper!!!!
Needless to say "I" was in the dog house for not diving in, putting Michelle on my back and swimming from Cuba back to Castaway Cay!!!!!! Never mind let's haul back to the ship we'll miss the cocktail party and Dana's giveaways!!!!
Ed, where the hell are you when you are really needed, screw that nip rubbing on the piano!!!!!!!
Five cosmopolitans later Michelle is regaining her senses, the story keeps growing everytime it's re-told!!!!! I think in the last version a whale ate her and Pinocchio got her to the ship just before the cocktail party started!!!!!!
Well, folks Ken did not get any action...again. It's back to the dogs Monday, maybe he will get some then!
Pin trading....yes there was some but we were having too much fun to really get into it!
If you did not go on this cruise make it a point to go in November, it was awesome! Call Dana and book your cabin!
Will continue........................
Manny
