Oh geez.. Me again.

Its not been the best day for baby news from our friends. we just found out that one of Dhs friends just had their baby. She wasnt due until the end of January. The little guy is only 2 pounds.
*Valerie* I think you are the only one I know of who has had preemies.. I hope you dont mind me asking.. But what was the most helpful things people did for you, or said to you? Or something you wish they had done or said? Its their first baby.. Thanks.. Again, I hope you dont mind me asking.
I'm so sorry for your friends. How far along was she? That is what is the gestational age of the baby at birth? Size is important, but so is gestational age. By my guestimate she was 9-10 weeks early, does that sound right? 2 lbs would be on the small side for a 30 ish weeker. My babies were 3lbs 8 oz at 30w 5d -- so the baby may have been growth restricted in utero, so *might* do better now that s/he is out, maybe. My older DS was a 26 1/2 weeker & was 2 lbs 5 oz at birth & size was one thing he had on his side, as he was a "good" size for a 26 weeker.
If the parents are up for it, I belong to an online preemie parenting support group, it's Yahoo Groups' preemie-list, link here:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/preemie-list/
You said it's their first, so there are no older kids to care for while mom & dad "visit" the baby(yeah more like sit at the bedside for as long as they can handle.). Do they have any pets that require care? If so, offering to feed/walk/play with/change litter, etc for any pets may help. Offering to bring over dinner, as they may not want to cook, may help. Offering to do their grocery shopping or other errands may help too. If mom had a c/s she will need folks to drive her to/from the hospital for at least 2 weeks, vag delivery just until she thinks she can handle it.
She should "expect" her baby to be in the NICU until around the original due date. Of course if baby does well they may get sprung early, if there are complications, it could be longer. Just for comparision my babies were born 7/2 due 9/5 -- Katie came home on 8/6 after just 5 weeks -- Dylan did not get sprung til 9/2 (and still has the d@mn apnea monitor....grrr.) DS6 was due 9/19, born on 6/19 -- came home on 9/19 but was rehospitalized due to aspiration pnumonia after less than a week, came home for keeps around 10/2.
Giving constant updates on the baby to concerned & caring friends & family may be too much for them, especially if the baby is having a rough patch. Ideas are to designate 1 person for the parents to update & all others contact that person for the most current info. Or they can set up a phone line (cell phone, outgoing mssg on a home phone mailbox) with the current updates on the baby & friends & family can call there for info. Or the parents can set up a Caring Bridge website to update for F&F to check for info, link here:
http://www.caringbridge.org/
If mom was hoping/planning to breastfeed, she may still be able to. She should see if there are LCs that she can work with while the baby is in NICU. She will need to start pumping w/ a hospital grade rental pump ASAP. (I'm *still* pumping for my babies btw, Dylan will sometimes BF, but its not real practical for me w/ 2.)
Nobody will "get" it like moms who have been there, so if no one in her real life has experienced having a preemie, seeking out online resources may be good. She may feel some degree of guilt, as well as grief, that her body failed, or that its all her fault. She may feel cheated out of the normal pregnancy/childbirth & parenting experience. 30 weekers in general do better than 26 or 24 weekers, I'm hoping that she has a boring, uneventful & relatively short NICU stay.
I also hope that the triplet mom you know can stay pg a good long time yet, 24 weekers have no picnic ahead of them. Feel free to share this with your friend & if she'd like to "talk" PM me for my email.