The "Newest" Moms Hangout...

[Piecey]

Patsy, my cousin is 31 annd they wouldn't tie her tubes. She lost her first baby at 28 weeks and found out she had a blood disease, then got pregnant again and had to take daily blood thinner shots making her extremely high risk. They decided to not have anymore children after this one because she is high risk, but the doctor said to wait. I really think it should be up to us, not the doctor.

My cousin said it's due to liability...
Apparently women were getting their tubes tied young and then divorcing their husbands, remarrying and discovering they wanted kids with the new guy. Then OBs were getting sued because the patient "didn't realize it was a permanent procedure" so now malpractice insurance companies have advised them not to tie tubes of younger women.

Irritating if you ask me. If they tell me no, I'll just get Mirena I guess.


DH and I had a talk. He actually listened to me. First time in months he's listened and not blown up or tried to rip me apart. So maybe just telling him that was what I wanted snapped him into reality that something has to change. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much but so far tonight he's been great and listened to everything I told him calmly..
Fingers crossed I get the DH I married back soon.

It doesn't escape me that the first time things got bad was exactly a year ago next week.
The VA told me his *trigger* is most likely the death of his father(Aug. 30)/September 11/the holidays.
So thats all fine and dandy except it doesn't mean squat if he doesn't do something about it.

 

[Adi12982]

One of her first pictures:

She's modest, covering up, lol:

My first time holdmg her:

DH's first time holding her:

If you care to see more, here are pictures on facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2176377&id=1307360&l=89a6d579aa

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2177720&id=1307360&l=8de8e86ca9

 

[caitty13]

Congrats Adi!!! she is beautiful.

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

Adi, she's gorgeous!! Congratulations!!

 

[Adi12982]

Congrats Adi!!! she is beautiful.

Adi, she's gorgeous!! Congratulations!!

Thank you both!! We think she's gorgeous too, but know we are biased

 

[staley7580]

Oh Adi!!! She is beautiful!!

 

[Adi12982]

Oh Adi!!! She is beautiful!!

Thank you!

 

[Adi12982]

Aww! Congratulations! I got the headache too.. with my first. If it makes you feel any better, I didnt get it with my other two epidurals. It was just a one time thing for me.

I'm hoping that is what it is for me, that was horrific (in the end, I think worse than my 20 hours of labor pains), especially having it for as long as I did.

Isabel is a beautiful name! Congratulations!!!

Thank you!

Congrats-and sorry about the headaches.

Thank you! I appreciate the hug!

Congratulations!!!

Thanks!!

Congrats!! Glad you're feeling better!

Thank you

I haven't had to deal with the hair loss but I get HEAT FLASHES like crazy! I hate it! At first I thought it was just my weight but my super skinny minnie cousin who had her baby two months before me said she gets really hot easily too. Anyone else dealing with this? I sleep with a portable fan pointed directly at me at night even when it's cold out b/c I get so hot. It's awful! Stupid hormones.

I've been warm too - not sure if flashes - but my cheeks get REALLY red and I've been sweating a lot. I thought maybe it had to do with breastfeeding, but seems like it is common.

I can't believe that anesthesiologist taking so long with your epidural! I'd have been smacking that guy around!

I was close to a c-section myself, but that was because it was hard for me to push DD out. I am glad I didn't need one, but I am also glad it was an option for me. No doctor can say you wouldn't have progressed more if they'd given you another hour or so, but I suppose one could always second-guess stuff like that. But c-section or not, you left the hospital with exactly what you wanted: a healthy baby!

I do have my healthy baby - and I WAS ready to kill the guy - especially when he was hitting BONE during contractions,

Thank you for sharing your story with us!

Same thing everyone told me (no one can forget my struggle with having a c-section! ) is that you can tell Isabel letter how you fought to get her here and that was all that mattered.

I hope you do find a doctor willing to do a VBAC if that is what you want. All the pregnancy books, websites, etc. said that they are hard to find... but either I got lucky or the books are wrong. My OB was shocked when I said I was only getting pregnant again if she would automatically do a c-section. She pushes for VBACs! I hope you find someone so willing next time, too.

Thanks for your well wishes, I do think you are blessed to have a VBAC friendly doctor, there are a couple here in Miami. In the end if I HAVE to have another c-section or more, I'll do it, but I'd sure prefer not to. It has been a month and I still have some pain. I know the struggle you had, I actually thought of you when the doctor started mentioning c-section. Part of my desire in having a VBAC is that I am afraid that c-sections will put a limit on how many children I can have, and I don't want doctors to limit that - I want it to be a choice that DH and I make.

Back when my sister had kids... back in the stone ages the way she tells it... Her dr. never even mentioned her having a Vbac.. He just assumed she would. All the while she assumed she would have another C-section.

Adi- thank you for sharing with us! Im sorry about that epi, that is crazy! I have never heard of it taking so much! Geesh!

It was bad, the doctor who did the second blood patch was startled - he said he' never seen anything like it - he counted 16 scabs at that time. Crazy I know. I will NEVER go back to that hospital to have my babies, I'd rather stay home, lol. I really do hope I can have a VBAC, but if not I will be ok.

Adi-My oldest DD aspirated meconium while she was being born. I'll spare you the long horror story and say that you definitely did the right thing going with the c-section. I would up back in the ER and then the L&D floor with spinal headaches after my son was born. I wouldn't wish that one anyone, so I'm sorry it happened to you. A few weeks after my blood patch, my friend is a massage therapist and gave me a postpartum massage. She was pregnant at the time and the marks on my back scared her so much she went with natural childbirth.

Thanks for saying that. Some days I really have a lot of doubts - maybe we should have waited another hour or two to see if I progressed enough to push her out. She didn't aspirate any - they took her out pretty soon after they saw that it had gotten to a "pea soup" constancy (it was a light staining when my water first broke - and for that I am thankful. But then I think maybe she would have been ok of we had waited some. Then other times I know that I could have been risking her life, and I would have never been able to live with that - just to have the delivery I wanted. Glad to know someone who has been there thinks I did the right thing.

One of my good friends is due 12/24. She has a son already.. he was born in 02/08.

She had a horrible spinal headache among other things with her first delivery. She delivered on the base hospital at Ft. Campbell... her husband was in Iraq so she was completely alone. I'm pretty sure he left at the beginning of her second trimester, so he was gone for the majority of the pregnancy...came back when 'Zaiah was about 9 months old.

She never told him how bad it was. Didn't want to worry him. So she'll call me sometimes and flip out because she doesn't know what to do and she can't talk to him about it because she doesn't ever want him to know that she almost died. I don't know what to tell her. She's petrified of delivering naturally and petrified of getting another epidural.
She actually asked me how bad a c-section is (because she thought she could avoid the whole epidural type thing) and was pretty bummed when I said she'd still have to get one.

I'm not sure what decision she has made or if she even has yet... time is ticking, though!

She doesn't HAVE to get an epi to get a c-section. She could technically ask to have general anesthesia. Also, for a planned c-section I think you would get a spinal tap - not sure if that is any better.

Did she get a blood patch afterwards? If she got one sooner it would help instantly - next time if I get the headache I am NOT leaving without the blood patch. I had the headache for almost two weeks - there was barely any fluid around my brain and it was excruciating - but as soon as the blood patch was done correctly I was better - up and about and fully functioning. ALSO, I was told that they can use an ultrasound machine to place the epi - if they did that they would be able to better see the space and less likely to go to far with the needle - let her know that is an option and she should check if her hospital would do that.

I hope the few comments on here I've made about how I could never co-sleep didn't come across as my judging you guys...

I think it's something I might have liked doing, it was just never possible for me.



Things got bad here again last night. I finally just told him I wanted a divorce because I can't take it anymore. It finally clicked last night, when he started yelling at me about how I should have said xyz instead of abc, how it was my fault he was so mad, how I should do this/that differently... that unless he figures out what caused this change, I'm not going to be happy with him. And I deserve to be happy.
He wants to talk tonight but I just don't really see what good it'll do. He doesn't listen to me, only what he thinks matters. He doesn't make an effort to make me happy. Even waiting until Jan. seems pointless now because how is a psychologist going to help him stop being a selfish poophead??

Two steps ahead and three steps backward.

We co sleep some nights - some days she is ok in the crib or sleeping in her bouncer with the vibration on, but most nights she is sleeping a stretch with us - if we didn't we wouldn't sleep at all. I thought I would NEVER do it, and I worry each time I do (some nights she has slept on my chest) - but I was going insane without sleep.

I am so sorry to hear about your issues with DH. I will be praying for you three. Hopefully he does what he needs to do, and if not you are an amazingly strong woman and I know you will do what is best for you and your boy.

We are on WIC too. My husband lost his job last spring, so he stay's home. He does most of he WIC run's. The new food package is great though.
The formula is why I when on it to. The new package has baby food and if your BF'ing fulltime you get fruits, vegges and meat.

I'm on WIC - DH was a teacher - when I got pregnant he was only able to be substituting and he was making below the maximum (it is a bit high, at least here in Florida, it is 185% above poverty - and they count the baby as a person in the household if you are pregnant). I am thankful for the help it is, DH would love to be working, but he got laid off - what can we do. I still get it even though the baby is fully breastfed.

DH and I had a talk. He actually listened to me. First time in months he's listened and not blown up or tried to rip me apart. So maybe just telling him that was what I wanted snapped him into reality that something has to change. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much but so far tonight he's been great and listened to everything I told him calmly..
Fingers crossed I get the DH I married back soon.

It doesn't escape me that the first time things got bad was exactly a year ago next week.
The VA told me his *trigger* is most likely the death of his father(Aug. 30)/September 11/the holidays.
So thats all fine and dandy except it doesn't mean squat if he doesn't do something about it.

Hoping your talk ends in the results you would like.

 

[Piecey]

My first time holdmg her:

You got to hold her in the OR? That is soo neat!

 

[Adi12982]

You got to hold her in the OR? That is soo neat!

Yes I was surprised.

I wanted to thank you for sharing your experience though - I remebered some of what you said, and as soon as I went to the OR I asked who the baby's nurse was - she introduced herself to me and I asked her to PLEASE not let ANYONE hold her until after I got to. She said as long as she was ok and didn't need to go to the NICU that I could hold her right there - I was surprised and she promised that even if she did have to go to the NICU that no one would hold her til I did. So thank you for sharing what you went through, it saved this mom from having to experience what you did. I know that isn't much help to you - but I am sooo thankful, I would have never thought to ask.

 

[Piecey]

Thanks for your well wishes, I do think you are blessed to have a VBAC friendly doctor, there are a couple here in Miami. In the end if I HAVE to have another c-section or more, I'll do it, but I'd sure prefer not to. It has been a month and I still have some pain. I know the struggle you had, I actually thought of you when the doctor started mentioning c-section. Part of my desire in having a VBAC is that I am afraid that c-sections will put a limit on how many children I can have, and I don't want doctors to limit that - I want it to be a choice that DH and I make.

She doesn't HAVE to get an epi to get a c-section. She could technically ask to have general anesthesia. Also, for a planned c-section I think you would get a spinal tap - not sure if that is any better.

Did she get a blood patch afterwards? If she got one sooner it would help instantly - next time if I get the headache I am NOT leaving without the blood patch. I had the headache for almost two weeks - there was barely any fluid around my brain and it was excruciating - but as soon as the blood patch was done correctly I was better - up and about and fully functioning. ALSO, I was told that they can use an ultrasound machine to place the epi - if they did that they would be able to better see the space and less likely to go to far with the needle - let her know that is an option and she should check if her hospital would do that.

I'm pretty sure I'm stopping at 2, so another c-section is probably the way I will go. I was so messed up afterwards (which I'm sure everyone remembers ... I don't really hide things) that I was done with kids completely. I played a good game but most people who were physically around me knew I didn't have a ton of interest in Lucas. I think Sarah was the only one I talked to about it from the DIS. I took care of him, but I was indifferent towards him for the first few months. I handed him off the first time someone asked.

I do hope you find a VBAC friendly doctor. If not, you're more than welcome to fly to West Virginia and borrow mine.
Stacy has a doctor in the Boston area (or somewhere up there anyway!) that told her he'd support her having more kids and her 3 boys were all c-sections! I think if it's that important to you, there is a doctor out there somewhere who will help you!

Will you go for a hospital next time or will you try that birthing center again? Or in the air?

Yeah, I knew she didn't have to get an epidural per say. I told her it would be spinal tap/epidural and she freaked. She doesn't like the idea of any more needles in her back.
I think very few OBs would use general anesthesia if they didn't have to. The second time my epidural wore off I begged her to put me under general and do the c-section but she said the risk was way too great and she would never do it unless there was a dire need. So I just assumed that was the way it would work everywhere.

They did do a blood patch but I think they waited quite awhile. She had some other things happen, too (that I'm still a little fuzzy about, she wouldn't let anyone visit her) and I think they did it about a week after she had him. She never left the hospital, though. I remember the text from her telling me they were talking about doing one and I was like "Huh? Blood patch? "..totally clueless at the time!!
I doubt she'd be offered anything like that. Her DH is still enlisted (I think?) or Nat'l Guard.. she may still be restricted to what Tricare offers. Which according to DH and her.. isn't a whole lot.

 

[Piecey]

Yes I was surprised.

I wanted to thank you for sharing your experience though - I remebered some of what you said, and as soon as I went to the OR I asked who the baby's nurse was - she introduced herself to me and I asked her to PLEASE not let ANYONE hold her until after I got to. She said as long as she was ok and didn't need to go to the NICU that I could hold her right there - I was surprised and she promised that even if she did have to go to the NICU that no one would hold her til I did. So thank you for sharing what you went through, it saved this mom from having to experience what you did. I know that isn't much help to you - but I am sooo thankful, I would have never thought to ask.

No problem. That is the beauty of these boards... a lot of us have learned from the others experiences!
It's amazing how something so small is sooo important. I'll never forget the deer in headlights look that DH gave me, like "Why is that the first thing out of her mouth?" Because it mattered!
Because we're stuck in that OR another 40 min. after the baby is gone and all you can do is think. Or cry. Like I did.

I was cleaning pictures off of my phone the other night and found the picture I took of Lucas when I got to hold him for the first time... and it got me thinking about all that again! My brother's girlfriend (in Sydney Australia!) had posted on my Facebook wall that he was "absolutely gorgeous from the pictures (she) had seen"... and I realized that she saw what he looked like before I did. Sooo crazy to think about. They put him next to my face but I didn't get a great look.

I ramble. I know. I'm sorry. I wish I could sleep. It might keep me out of your guys hair...

 

[staley7580]

I cant believe how long the wait was for you Adi.. and your friend, Patsy... I had the blood patch put in as soon as they realized what was wrong with me. I think it was the next day.


Vinny keeps crawling under my chair.. Its like having a dog.. A dog that likes to eat cheerios, and get into things.

 

[staley7580]

Patsy.. If it makes you feel any better, I dont sleep either.. I got a whopping two hours last night. Vinny had a fever, and I was worried sick. I tend to over react about things. Last year my four year old said her neck hurt, and I though she had meningitis. Yeah.. She had slept funny. Vinny is fine now, pretty sure he is cutting more teeth. Yay me!

 

[Piecey]

I cant believe how long the wait was for you Adi.. and your friend, Patsy... I had the blood patch put in as soon as they realized what was wrong with me. I think it was the next day.


Vinny keeps crawling under my chair.. Its like having a dog.. A dog that likes to eat cheerios, and get into things.

Well, she basically sums it up with "I was on an Army base." They don't deliver as many babies as regular hospitals. Like I said, I'm not *positive* what all happened but I know it was a mess. She was a mess. And she doesn't want her DH to know so she's a mess behind closed doors.

Oh, and my dog totally eats everything and gets into everything too.

Patsy.. If it makes you feel any better, I dont sleep either.. I got a whopping two hours last night. Vinny had a fever, and I was worried sick. I tend to over react about things. Last year my four year old said her neck hurt, and I though she had meningitis. Yeah.. She had slept funny. Vinny is fine now, pretty sure he is cutting more teeth. Yay me!

Ugh. I am hoping to high heaven that Lucas is cutting teeth. He has been TERRIBLE lately. And I cannot get the kid to nap. It's driving me nuts. He'll nap at like 8pm. Practically bedtime!

My mom and dad called to let me know they were diagnosed with swine flu earlier.
Guess who my back up babysitters were when my babysitter got swine flu? MY PARENTS!
So I totally get the worry thing. I want to keep going up to check his temp (I'm terrified the fussiness isn't a tooth, but the swine flu!) but I'm so grateful he's asleep that I just cranked the volume on the baby monitor waaaay up and I'm listening to him snore.

 

[Piecey]

So. I tend to get lost in my own head.

Why can't you sleep? Insomnia?

 

[staley7580]

OMG!! thats awful! I told my mom that Vinny wasnt feeling well, and she FREAKED OUT!! She was for sure it was the swine flu. I dont think so. He really just had a fever, and was crabby. Teething is the WORST. My first two would just open their mouths.. and SURPRISE! More teeth! it was great. Not these two. YIKES! Plus Jazzy is pulling up now. Which is fine in itself.. But then she gets stuck, and falls and cries. ALL DAY LONG.

 

[staley7580]

So. I tend to get lost in my own head.

Why can't you sleep? Insomnia?

Vinny is up.. Not that it would matter if he was asleep. I get a second wind at night, and do everything that I didnt do during the day. Cleaning the kitchen, straightening up the rest of the house.. Then I lay in bed... listening to my husband snore. and moan.. and scratch. I have never seen such a noisy sleeper!

 

[Piecey]

OMG!! thats awful! I told my mom that Vinny wasnt feeling well, and she FREAKED OUT!! She was for sure it was the swine flu. I dont think so. He really just had a fever, and was crabby. Teething is the WORST. My first two would just open their mouths.. and SURPRISE! More teeth! it was great. Not these two. YIKES! Plus Jazzy is pulling up now. Which is fine in itself.. But then she gets stuck, and falls and cries. ALL DAY LONG.

I think everyone automatically jumps to swine flu these days. It's everywhere anymore!!
Aww poor Jazzy! I sorta know what you mean though... Lucas will roll onto his belly (off his playmat and onto the wood floor), hold himself up and then just WHOOSH it's like he loses all the strength and he falls and his head whacks the floor and he SCREAMS.

Vinny is up.. Not that it would matter if he was asleep. I get a second wind at night, and do everything that I didnt do during the day. Cleaning the kitchen, straightening up the rest of the house.. Then I lay in bed... listening to my husband snore. and moan.. and scratch. I have never seen such a noisy sleeper!

Wow, I usually sit on the computer. You go girl!
I thought about doing homework. I have 2 more assignments and I'm completely done with one of my courses!
DH is a noisy sleeper, too. He's got mild sleep apnea so he'll get really quiet then it's like a floodgate opened up and he's making a TON of noise.

 

[staley7580]

Well. I am sitting on the computer now! my house and kitchen are total wrecks.. But my husband has a half day tomorrow, and then has all of next week off. So I am just leaving some stuff undone so he doesnt get bored. I cant WAIT for next week. I have every untention of kicking his butt out of bed early... So he can take care of the kids, and I can SLEEP IN!!