The "N"word..

[Disney_Angel]

I hope no one minds me posting here but I saw this thread and just had to comment. As the adoptive mother of a biracial child I often ask myself how am I suppose to show my child positive African American role models when so many use this word out of IGNORANCE.

My husbands best friend is African American (he refers to himself as black) and he will not allow the word to be used in his home. I think it is sad and used out of ignorance and shows a lack of self-respect for the speaker.

There is NO positive spon on the N-word.....I agree it is time we but this nasty word to rest ince and for all.

 

[OrlandoMike]

I agree it is time we but this nasty word to rest ince and for all.

Do you really think you can put that word to rest? I still know plenty of whites who use the word in the worst way possible, and they are not about to stop!

Is it possible then, for a group of people to change the meaning of a word so it is no longer offensive?

I tend to think it is. We have had many examples of this in the gay community just on this thread. To me, its still one of the worst words ever coined, but this topic does make me think......

 

[SingingMUA]

Just thought I would add my 2 cents to this discussion...

I am Black. (I'm actually a mishmash of Black, White, and Native American... but I identify as Black because that is what people "see" when they see me). Like someone said earlier in the thread of their friend, I don't care for the term "African-American". I feel that it should be used for people who are African and are now American citizens. I would have to go back quite a few generations to find the "true" Africans in my family tree. I think it is not fair to those who come from Africa to lump EVERYONE who shares that skin tone as "African-American".

As far as the "N word". I don't use it. Don't care for it, and don't have much tolerance for it to be used in my presence. Not so much because I feel that it's uber-derogatory, but moreso because when I hear it used, it immediately takes the intelligence of the person using it (in my mind) down a bit.

As far as the mentality of "I can use it and YOU can't...", I think that can be related to how people say that they can say whatever they want about their family or their siblings (you know how people tease each other, etc), but if an outsider does it, it becomes "fighting words" .

I think there IS a sense of "ownership" of the word in the Black community. I think it has evolved into "term of endearment" (for lack of a better word) among people who have shared experiences. Which might account for the sentiment that a "non-black" person "BETTER NOT" use it. Because a "non-black" doesn't know the experience of being a Black person.

I personally just think NO ONE should use the word.

 

[Disney_Angel]

Do you really think you can put that word to rest? I still know plenty of whites who use the word in the worst way possible, and they are not about to stop!

Is it possible then, for a group of people to change the meaning of a word so it is no longer offensive?

I tend to think it is. We have had many examples of this in the gay community just on this thread. To me, its still one of the worst words ever coined, but this topic does make me think......

WOW! I know several older black americans that would feel differntly...including my adoptive daughters natural grandparents. They also resent having their struggles being compared to that of gay americans. They are TWO different situations. And I think it is unfair for gay americans to make the same comparison.

But that is the great thing about our country we can agree to disagree.
And we are FREE to discuss it!

BTW

We have put the word to rest in our now very diverse family.

 

[pycees312]

I usually don't post here but the titlte of the thread attracted me

Being blackI think the n word is a fine word and i occassionally use it.

iT;s all how on how it is suppose to mean.Like if i say hey N it's means you what's up hey friendetc.

but if is meant to be offensive then no it is not right then it is bad

I know a few white people who say who mean it a friendly matter

i have no problem with it

I see it's also part of our culture the word has been used against us for many years we turn the word into something good and that's bad ? id on't think so you tell me

This is like saying only black people can sing black music which is false i know many white hip hop r and b jazz etc artists my favorite is joss stone and robin thicke(justin timberlake is not rand b he is pop)

My husband and I fight over this in our household. I disagree this word should not be used by the younger generation. I feel you cannot change this word because of how strongly negative it was. It not the same as slang for example the word cool could mean something is not hot but in slag it means someone is nice to be around. NOT the same thing as much as we try tomake it that way. IF for instance everyone in the world was able to say it and it not mean anything then this would apply. However it's still negative to many people of many races.And i know if any person said this to my husband he would go off!! So like i said in my home it's a battle my husband uses it and therfore my kids im sure when im not around use it. BUT I have instilled in them my view and why i feel it should not be used. So hopefully when they are adults my view will carry some weight....

 

[SanFranciscan]

I do not believe that my being a woman gives me greater license than a man to use misogynistic terms. I have also noticed that a liberal's idea of diversity is generally predominately European Americans with just a scattering of very genteel non-European Americans who will fit in nicely at their wine and cheese party because these people have already been dismissed as "Uncle Tom's" by their own kind.

I used to believe that liberals were the good guys, the defenders of human dignity. I don't anymore. Nobody hates like a liberal hates. I suspect that many of the neo-Nazi groups get much of their funding from leftist propogandists who need "racism" like a calf needs a tit. Whatever would they do if that nipple were removed? There are so-called "diversity trainers" who make their very lucrative livings by going into companies and stirring up trouble so that tensions and lawsuits increase after these frauds have moved on, having made their money.

The hypocrisy of holding black people to a lower standard of civility is why not only European Americans but Asians and Hispanics, who often identify as non-Caucasian, often avoid black people. Even the term "white flight" out of mixed neighborhoods speaks volumes. Aggressors don't flee. It is also why some employers are leery of black applicants. They have the attitude of "Maybe we shouldn't hire them because we can't fire them." How do Blacks benefit when studying hard, having decent manners, and so forth is seen as "acting white" by black people?

 

[Disney_Angel]

I do not believe that my being a woman gives me greater license than a man to use misogynistic terms. I have also noticed that a liberal's idea of diversity is generally predominately European Americans with just a scattering of very genteel non-European Americans who will fit in nicely at their wine and cheese party because these people have already been dismissed as "Uncle Tom's" by their own kind.

I used to believe that liberals were the good guys, the defenders of human dignity. I don't anymore. Nobody hates like a liberal hates. I suspect that many of the neo-Nazi groups get much of their funding from leftist propogandists who need "racism" like a calf needs a tit. Whatever would they do if that nipple were removed? There are so-called "diversity trainers" who make their very lucrative livings by going into companies and stirring up trouble so that tensions and lawsuits increase after these frauds have moved on, having made their money.

The hypocrisy of holding black people to a lower standard of civility is why not only European Americans but Asians and Hispanics, who often identify as non-Caucasian, often avoid black people. Even the term "white flight" out of mixed neighborhoods speaks volumes. Aggressors don't flee. It is also why some employers are leery of black applicants. They have the attitude of "Maybe we shouldn't hire them because we can't fire them." How do Blacks benefit when studying hard, having decent manners, and so forth is seen as "acting white" by black people?

Bravo

Diversity training is a waste of time and resources. My employer recently sent out a questionair asking me to identify my race/ancestory/heritage as to avoid any awkwardness later. I sent back the letter refusing to answer on the grounds I found that discriminatory. This letter was sent out at the suggestion of the EEOC.

As an adoptive mother I had to point out in the journey to include everyone we forget there is those of us who do not know their ancestory and for whom this is a very painful subject.

ETA

Why should employeers have to teach what the parents should have long ago?
This is one of the reasons we have NCLB with all the sensitivity and diversity training in schools where is time for the basics?

"Do unto others as you would have done to you" ---- That's all we need.

 

[DVCajun]

I do not believe that my being a woman gives me greater license than a man to use misogynistic terms. I have also noticed that a liberal's idea of diversity is generally predominately European Americans with just a scattering of very genteel non-European Americans who will fit in nicely at their wine and cheese party because these people have already been dismissed as "Uncle Tom's" by their own kind.

I used to believe that liberals were the good guys, the defenders of human dignity. I don't anymore. Nobody hates like a liberal hates. I suspect that many of the neo-Nazi groups get much of their funding from leftist propogandists who need "racism" like a calf needs a tit. Whatever would they do if that nipple were removed? There are so-called "diversity trainers" who make their very lucrative livings by going into companies and stirring up trouble so that tensions and lawsuits increase after these frauds have moved on, having made their money.

The hypocrisy of holding black people to a lower standard of civility is why not only European Americans but Asians and Hispanics, who often identify as non-Caucasian, often avoid black people. Even the term "white flight" out of mixed neighborhoods speaks volumes. Aggressors don't flee. It is also why some employers are leery of black applicants. They have the attitude of "Maybe we shouldn't hire them because we can't fire them." How do Blacks benefit when studying hard, having decent manners, and so forth is seen as "acting white" by black people?

Wow -- we are really getting into touchy territory here, but you know what -- you are SO RIGHT. (disclaimer -- don't get the "liberal" bashing, actually, I'm more talking about the highlighted quote) This is something I encountered as a white woman who has ventured very close to the black community. My friends who are black and successful have been *rejected* by the black community because they say they are trying to "act white." Um, hello? Since when is acting like a human being, and being a well-spoken, intelligent human at that, "acting white?" You can't be black and well-spoken and intelligent? Give me a break! Talk about digging yourself into a hole!!