The Mad Chatters thread Part 9

[Toot Sweet]

Well, I'm pretty tired. I'm going to sign off and see if I can get to sleep early. If I can't, I'll come back later. But if I can.....I'll see ya tomorrow, probably.

 

[dolphinrescuegirl]

Night Bonnie.

 

[paigevz]

Things to do in Wal-Mart

* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
* Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
* Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
* Start playing football -- see how many people you can get to join in.
* Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, ''I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,'' and see what happens.
* Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to ''10.''
* Play with the automatic doors.
* Walk up to complete strangers and say, ''Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!...'' etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
* Move ''Caution: Wet Floor'' signs to carpeted areas.
* Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
* Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
* Nonchalantly ''test'' the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
* Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,''...I'm Batman. Come, Robin -- to the Batcave!"
* TP as much of the store as possible.
* Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
* Play with the calculators so that they all spell ''hello'' upside down. (01134)
* When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, ''Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
* When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, ''Red Rover!''
* Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
* Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
* Take bets on the battle described above.
* Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. Barbie. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect...)
* Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from ''Mission: Impossible.'
* Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
* Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
* ''Re-alphabetize'' the CDs in Electronics.
* In the auto department, practice your ''Madonna'' look with various funnels. * Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like ''the fat man walks alone,'' and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
* Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
* Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
* Get a stuffed animal, go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying ''Good girl, good Bessie."
* Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
* When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
* Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
* Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
* Test the fishing rods and see what you can ''catch'' from the other aisles.
* In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with a girl and start flirting with him as ditisily as possible: ''Hi! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle).'' When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. ''Hi! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle).''
* Hold indoor shopping cart races.
* Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
* When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially through narrow aisles.
* Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
* Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. * Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
* Say things like, ''Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?''
* Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., ''Do you have any Shnerples here?''
* Ride a display bicycle through the store -- claim you're taking it for a ''test drive.''
* Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters

 

[mom2taylorandemily]

Things to do in Wal-Mart

* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
* Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
* Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
* Start playing football -- see how many people you can get to join in.
* Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, ''I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,'' and see what happens.
* Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to ''10.''
* Play with the automatic doors.
* Walk up to complete strangers and say, ''Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!...'' etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
* Move ''Caution: Wet Floor'' signs to carpeted areas.
* Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
* Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
* Nonchalantly ''test'' the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
* Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,''...I'm Batman. Come, Robin -- to the Batcave!"
* TP as much of the store as possible.
* Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
* Play with the calculators so that they all spell ''hello'' upside down. (01134)
* When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, ''Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
* When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, ''Red Rover!''
* Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
* Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
* Take bets on the battle described above.
* Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. Barbie. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect...)
* Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from ''Mission: Impossible.'
* Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
* Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
* ''Re-alphabetize'' the CDs in Electronics.
* In the auto department, practice your ''Madonna'' look with various funnels. * Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like ''the fat man walks alone,'' and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
* Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
* Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
* Get a stuffed animal, go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying ''Good girl, good Bessie."
* Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
* When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
* Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
* Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
* Test the fishing rods and see what you can ''catch'' from the other aisles.
* In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with a girl and start flirting with him as ditisily as possible: ''Hi! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle).'' When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. ''Hi! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle).''
* Hold indoor shopping cart races.
* Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
* When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially through narrow aisles.
* Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
* Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. * Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
* Say things like, ''Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?''
* Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., ''Do you have any Shnerples here?''
* Ride a display bicycle through the store -- claim you're taking it for a ''test drive.''
* Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters

Paige, you have had a lot of free time tonight haven't you?!

You know I love you!!!

 

[paigevz]

Telemarketer Repellant

If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

Say "no" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog has the gout..."

If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

Ask them to repeat everything they say several times.

Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

When the salesperson asks, "Is this the homeowner?" say, "Is this the salesperson?" And when they say, "Yes," hang up.

 

[momrek06]

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/11/17/playstation.ap/index.html

Been a tough night over at my house. My son in Scotland has a very good friend and he was SHOT at Wal-Mart just 10 miles from our home over the CT. line.

My son feels terrible and there is virtually nothing he can do from the UK.

Mike, his friend, is hospitalized and in serious condition. Some robbers...JERKS tried robbing him of his hard earned money while waiting in line for a PS3.

We live in a very small town and everyone is so upset for this young man. His dad recently died and it is just Mike and his mom.

UMASS MED Ctr is saying he is in sserious condition but holding on.

 

[paigevz]

Oh Kar...........

 

[paigevz]

What can I do for you?

 

[momrek06]

What can I do for you?

Ahhh...Paige, you are a sweetie...

O nothing at all. The phone keeps ringing. And as well Chris leaves for Scotland tomorrow to spend the week with Mike so I am a tad bit crazy over here tonight.

This is just so sad for Mike P. who was shot in the chest and shoulder.

 

[mom2taylorandemily]

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/11/17/playstation.ap/index.html

Been a tough night over at my house. My son in Scotland has a very good friend and he was SHOT at Wal-Mart just 10 miles from our home over the CT. line.

My son feels terrible and there is virtually nothing he can do from the UK.

Mike, his friend, is hospitalized and in serious condition. Some robbers...JERKS tried robbing him of his hard earned money while waiting in line for a PS3.

We live in a very small town and everyone is so upset for this young man. His dad recently died and it is just Mike and his mom.

UMASS MED Ctr is saying he is in sserious condition but holding on.

Kar

Can any of us do anything?

 

[momrek06]

Kar

Can any of us do anything?

Nothing at all...but pray and hope this young man pulls through....so devastating that it is all over the PS3. Mike or (Penky as he is called) worked and saved his money and this was so unneccessary. Maybe he should have given the JERKS the money.... ...what is important your money or your life..... .....! I don't know. Everyone is so upset and it is ALL OVER THE NEWS, including CNN.

 

[mom2taylorandemily]

Nothing at all...but pray and hope this young man pulls through....so devastating that it is all over the PS3. Mike or (Penky as he is called) worked and saved his money and this was so unneccessary. Maybe he should have given the JERKS the money.... ...what is important your money or your life..... .....! I don't know. Everyone is so upset and it is ALL OVER THE NEWS, including CNN.

This kind of story is soo sad. It happens almost every year during the holidays, thugs begin to think that they can have whatever they want the easy way. Forget about working for you stuff.

 

[mom2taylorandemily]

Its quiet on here tonight. Who all has been here?

 

[paigevz]

Almost no one Mary. Kim dropped in and Bonnie dropped in. That's all tonight, practically. Poppy was here but that was early.

Kar, it's just awful.

 

[momrek06]

This kind of story is soo sad. It happens almost every year during the holidays, thugs begin to think that they can have whatever they want the easy way. Forget about working for you stuff.

Ya, MAR, no kidding....CREEPS! And in the meantime, there are those that do work hard and save with the intention of buying something for themselves and then you GET SHOT waiting in line to purchase the item.

OKAY so where exactly is the sense.

My son's away message on his I'M (instant messanger) as it is 4am over in Scotland and he is asleep says...."WHAT THE HE** IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY WHEN YOU GET SHOT WAITING IN LINE TO BUY A PS3"....My DS is very upset. I told him to just HOPE and PRAY that Mike pulls through....and that STORES stop allowing this camping out to purchase stuff like this....

Thanks Mar and Paige for your concern.

I am on and off the DIS.

 

[mom2taylorandemily]

Almost no one Mary. Kim dropped in and Bonnie dropped in. That's all tonight, practically. Poppy was here but that was early.

Kar, it's just awful.

Well, I'll be back in a few, I have to go and pull up a poem for DD to illustrate for a project for her enrichment class.

 

[Disneyland1084]

Good evening everyone! I just ate pizza for dinner. Two slices and for Wal-Mart brand it wasn't that bad. I guess.

 

[Disneyland1084]

So what are you all talking about tonight?

 

[Disneyland1084]

I see everyone left as soon as I came on.

 

[Rella Bella]

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/11/17/playstation.ap/index.html

Been a tough night over at my house. My son in Scotland has a very good friend and he was SHOT at Wal-Mart just 10 miles from our home over the CT. line.

My son feels terrible and there is virtually nothing he can do from the UK.

Mike, his friend, is hospitalized and in serious condition. Some robbers...JERKS tried robbing him of his hard earned money while waiting in line for a PS3.

We live in a very small town and everyone is so upset for this young man. His dad recently died and it is just Mike and his mom.

UMASS MED Ctr is saying he is in serious condition but holding on.

Oh Kar... how horrible! I will pray for this young man and his mother! Sometimes the world is a truly awful place.