On the SAHM thing..............I love it that they (and you, my friends) can do that, and I would never suggest to them (or you) to do anything else.........but I do wish people (and I don't think this is any of you) wouldn't persist in thinking that ANYONE could and they "choose" to work. Seriously, dh and I graduated college with student loans out the yin-yang.......graduated into a "repression" and couldn't find jobs...........got part-time at the post office, then later I got a part-time teaching job and another part-time subbing job at a daycare (the Stars and Stripes at the Alfred Murrah Federal Building in OKC.......it was blown up a year later). Later dh got on at Home Depot, then we married and Nick followed very soon after........meanwhile I did get a teaching post in Texas, dh got transferred down.............we still had those student loans, gave away our pets (hated to, but couldn't afford a house with a yard for them here in Texas), moved into a one-bedroom apt. I still had the car bought with the money from a series of cars going back to one my parents had bought my brother that he rejected.........it leaked exhaust, we were worried about the baby, so took out a loan for a used hail-damaged station wagon..........dh was driving a used jeep that we paid cash for. There was absolutely no way with hospital bills from the baby, moving bills, 1st and last rent and deposit, student loans, monthly bills........no way we could make it without me working. So, baby went to a woman who kept him full time and two other boys part time. He was the youngest, she couldn't have children..........she loved him so much in fact, that when we found out she was here illegally (not until we did our taxes), I was scared she'd run with him. So after that I took him to a church daycare..........summer had come and gone, he was 17 months old. We took our first Disney trip when he was 4, on a tax refund. We could've used it for bills, but we wanted something memory-building. We had no idea we'd get hooked! Long story short, I have a fabulous 11 year old and a fabulous relationship with him. When the second baby came, I took the summer he was born and then several more months before I went back to work. I had an au pair-type caregiver for him in my home. By this time, we might've been able to scale back on extras and allow me to stay home, if not for all the credit card debt we still have....................but with the first, there was absolutely no choice.......we never ate out, we never went to movies, we spent ALL our money on bills and debts.....there were no extras. Even then, living in a one-bedroom apt, paying out all my paycheck the moment I got it (and his care didn't cost enough to eliminate one of our jobs), I had people telling me that if I WANTED to, if I just really PINCHED the budget, if I'd just SACRIFICE, I wouldn't need to send him....................it wasn't true.