The Inlaws: It's ALREADY started

[mom3sonstt]

About 3 or 4 years ago my husband and boys went to WDW without me (I had just started a new job and couldn't get away) His oldest son and his family also vacationed there at the same time. I have been upset this whole time that I was unable to be there and see the grandkids first visit to WDW.......until this summer. We went down to their place over the 4th of July and took all of them to Busch Gardens. It was miserable. My stepson and his wife had to stop at every smoking area - and back track to some, the kids stopped at every bathroom - and backtracked to some. Whatever the boy wanted to do the girl didn't. One day of that was terrible - I can't imagine how upset I would have been if I had wasted all that Disney-time and money with that behavior. In the first hour after the park opened there had been 2 bathroom breaks, 2 smoke breaks, one snack stop (for whiney, demanding kids) and only one ride ridden - and that was only by my step-son and his wife. The kids refused to go on it, as did hubby and I. The kids were 11 & 13, but would not ride "big" rides. Hubby has always wanted to take the grandkids with us to Disney sometime, but after that experience I am not encouraging him at all

 

[dstevens]

My MIL is the same way. She lives very close to Disney. It is really hard to say no. She knows every early bird special there is or worse yet, she wants us to eat at her house. I just blame it on the kids. The "kids" had their heart set on this restaurant or a certain park. Most of the time it works. I feel your pain.

How many MIL's just read this post and think you are there DIL?

 

[genmasjoy]

My DH and I invited our son, DIL and granddaughter, age two at the time, to stay at OKW with us at Christmas a couple years ago. Everything worked out fine. We made dinner reservations each night; one night we took the granddaughter to Japan at Epcot and DIL and son had dinner at Italy, then we met up for the Candlelight Processional. Other than that, we were flexible. My DH and I are early risers and like to get to the parks when they open. My son and family liked to get up later. They would just meet us at the park later on in the day and no one got upset about it. Staying on the Disney property is so easy, since there is transportation available and you don't have to all try to travel to the park together. The cell phones made it easy to catch up with each other. We had a wonderful time and made magic holiday memories. So, I recommend you just be flexible, don't try to over schedule, and enjoy this time as a family.

 

[photobob]

If people haven't experienced Disney World it is understandable that they don't comprehend the vastness and how much there is to do and the variety of dining options. There is no other place like WDW, so if they haven't been they won't know. Your job: INFORM THEM!!!

I have tried and tried to tell friends who want to go for three or four days to try to go for a week, many saying similar things as your inlaws. Most all come back and say they wish they had gone for longer, they had no idea how much there was to do.

 

[alamode]

Thanks for all the great advice. Every one of you.

I invited my in-laws for one reason, that being as an olive branch to try and make them treat me at least civilly. Lets just say we haven't gotten along since they realized I wasn't the doctor or the lawyer that they could brag to their friends about.

When my wife passed away from cancer just about 3 years ago, I wasn't even mentioned in her obituary.

For the sake of the kids, I'm doing what I think will bring us closer together, but I draw the line at Gatorland.

Seriously, I really hope this does what I'm hoping.

 

[nickspace]

Seriously, I really hope this does what I'm hoping.[/QUOTE]

Don't be disappointed if it does not.

 

[mikron]

Dosen't sound any different then my wife and kids. Thats what makes a family trip fun.

 

[tigger2on]

Not sure if this was mentioned ( as I haven't read the entire thread... sorry) but this will be an issue if you want to buy into the DDP while staying at DVC. Everyone in your room must buy the plan in order for you to get it. I ended up getting my mom her own studio this trip as she is older, tends to only eat 1 big meal a day and didn't want to spend the $ on it.

 

[arthur06]

We are going for 5 days with my MIL. She has said she is ok with anywhere we go. we get along great with her. If we had to go with my mom...yikes! As stated before, you have to get along with your IL's.

 

[stitchineeyore]

Wow. Sounds as if you are in a VERY difficult situation. So sorry! I read your profile just to be sure that I was correct. You are a widower? With a difficult relationship with your late wife's parents? That is so hard. That said-are the ILs likely to appreciate the "magic"? If so, your hopes may come true. If not...well. Some folks never "get" WDW. (My MIL still says "are you going there AGAIN? After 10 years DVC!) You have never said how long your trip is for. Also the reason for this vacation time period is Star Wars weekend? There is a great deal to do just focussed around Star Wars. If you and your kids are fans, you could wind up wanting to spend the whole weekend at the Studios, which will impact the rest of your trip planning. Given the circumstances, an honest conversation about expectations may be difficult, but is probably the best idea. And the earlier the better. Sending good thoughts your way, for you and your children. Good luck! And may the Force be with you. (had to do it!)

 

[twinklebug]

Thanks for all the great advice. Every one of you.

I invited my in-laws for one reason, that being as an olive branch to try and make them treat me at least civilly. Lets just say we haven't gotten along since they realized I wasn't the doctor or the lawyer that they could brag to their friends about.

When my wife passed away from cancer just about 3 years ago, I wasn't even mentioned in her obituary.

For the sake of the kids, I'm doing what I think will bring us closer together, but I draw the line at Gatorland.

Seriously, I really hope this does what I'm hoping.

You're a good man for inviting them along to visit with their grandkids. Your wife would be so proud of you. There is no miracle bandaid for a broken relationship, but building some common grounds with good memories will serve you all well. The one thing I learned by bringing my friend and her kids with me and my kids to WDW several years back, is alone time is priceless for maintaining good memories. Don't overplan, and encourage the inlaws to do their own thing at least once a day (and maybe get a chance to check out jellyrolls on your own too )

I had to laugh at the gatorland comment - I'd draw the line there too However, if they want to offer to take the kids to Universal or Seaworld I'd take them up on it & ~perhaps~ tag along. *grin*

 

[alamode]

You have never said how long your trip is for. Also the reason for this vacation time period is Star Wars weekend? There is a great deal to do just focussed around Star Wars. If you and your kids are fans, you could wind up wanting to spend the whole weekend at the Studios, which will impact the rest of your trip planning.

We'll be going for a week, May 20th to May 27th. We'll be staying hopfully at either the Animal Kingdom, value or standard 2 bedroom, pending availability.

As for the Star Wars planning, I was hoping to do Saturday and Sunday at Hollywood Studios. From the various posts I know I'll thoroughly enjoy it, but I'm hoping there will be enough kiddie Star Wars stuff for my 10 year old son and twin 6 year old girls. Not sure if they do the Fantasmic on weekends, but would like to see that as well, since we missed it last trip.

Th first step has gone well so far. I sent the link to the Animal kingdom resort 3d viewing to my MIL, and she didn't think she had the right place because the room was so huge and the cash cost was so high.

My idea now is to pick the parks and let the MIL pick between a couple restaurants, sending her the links to the menus. When they realize that it's not all burgers and fries, I think they'll come around.

 

[stitchineeyore]

Yep. LOL. We sent some dear friends down a couple of years ago. When I sent them the link to VWL, they had the same reaction. Loved it! As for Star Wars, There are TONS of things for children of all ages at Star Wars weekends. Do your research! We have never made it for them, but I have friends that have, and they make it an annual event. Maybe someday for us; I hope so. Sounds like you are doing everything you can to make this work for your family. Send them the link for the menus at WDW restaurants. I am sure they will be surprised about that as well. If Grandpa is a pilot, get him to look at some of the aerial maps of the parks. Maybe then he'll get an idea of how much ground there is to cover! Not to mention allowing for pool time. Good luck to all of you, and have a great time.

 

[alamode]

Grandpa is a pilot, get him to look at some of the aerial maps of the parks. Maybe then he'll get an idea of how much ground there is to cover! Not to mention allowing for pool time. Good luck to all of you, and have a great time.

Thank God he's not a pilot; he said he tried a flight simulator they train pilots on and killed everyone on board three times in a row. He's an electrician.

The first day we get there will definately be pool time, as coming from Toronto we had to get up around 4am last time. Also, I was told that Boma is a great dining experience, so I think the best thing is to not to go far the first day. (Maybe take my son to DTD for Disneyquest, as I believe its' included in the deluxe annual passes.

It will definately be a more relaxed trip than the last one. Since I now know that we'll be going again and again through DVC, we don't have to do the 14 hours a day at the parks like last trip.

 

[DenLo]

We'll be going for a week, May 20th to May 27th. We'll be staying hopfully at either the Animal Kingdom, value or standard 2 bedroom, pending availability.

As for the Star Wars planning, I was hoping to do Saturday and Sunday at Hollywood Studios. From the various posts I know I'll thoroughly enjoy it, but I'm hoping there will be enough kiddie Star Wars stuff for my 10 year old son and twin 6 year old girls. Not sure if they do the Fantasmic on weekends, but would like to see that as well, since we missed it last trip.

Th first step has gone well so far. I sent the link to the Animal kingdom resort 3d viewing to my MIL, and she didn't think she had the right place because the room was so huge and the cash cost was so high.

My idea now is to pick the parks and let the MIL pick between a couple restaurants, sending her the links to the menus. When they realize that it's not all burgers and fries, I think they'll come around.

It sounds like you've got a good plan to get the in-laws involved with planning. The 2-bedroom is a good idea too. Good Luck.

Oh, we went DHS on June 14th, the last day of the Star Wars Weekend, didn't know anything really ahead of time, but located a Star Wars Weekend map and found out the Parade (Motorcade) time. We stood right where the parade turns from Hollywood Blvd towards American Idol and we had a great view! Some of the characters and came right up to fans and performed a little. Nothing like having sand people making noises and acting threatening to get the crowd involved! It was cool going over to Star Tours and just seeing the different characters there. Many had long lines for autographs but we took photos of the characters as we walked by.

 

[Golden Rose]

We did a trip with my DM and DSF, (so my DH's inlaws), in January, and they loved it so much they're going back with us in October. They've already starting asking if they can use half our points to take his DS and her DH next year. (They've offered to take us on a cruise in exchange for the points, so it's not as bad as it sounds.)

My DM knew what to expect, but my DSF hadn't been in many years and expected to absolutely hate it. We agreed to do our own things during the day and come together every night for meals... which I scheduled, knowing their tastes. They spent the days playing golf and hanging out at DTD seeing movies, drinking hot chocolate, and shopping. Most evenings we had dinner together at a signature or highly reviewed restaurant (all booked at hotels, since they weren't going into the parks,) although they did babysit one night for us to go to V & A's, and they did take one date night themselves. They had an absolutely fabulous trip. They even absolutely loved SSR, since they were doing golf and DTD for the trip.

They did decide that they wished they had spent a little more time with us in the parks watching DS enjoy himself, so we are planning on more together time for our October trip. They're cutting back to three days of golf.

Anyway, just make sure they know there is a lot to do - golf, great pools, good restaurants, resort activities, etc - that they wouldn't neccesarily think of when they think WDW.

 

[bobbiwoz]

Thanks for all the great advice. Every one of you.

I invited my in-laws for one reason, that being as an olive branch to try and make them treat me at least civilly. Lets just say we haven't gotten along since they realized I wasn't the doctor or the lawyer that they could brag to their friends about.

When my wife passed away from cancer just about 3 years ago, I wasn't even mentioned in her obituary.

For the sake of the kids, I'm doing what I think will bring us closer together, but I draw the line at Gatorland.

Seriously, I really hope this does what I'm hoping.

I hope it works out as you wish!
Bobbi

 

[MARY-IN-OH]

Thank God he's not a pilot; he said he tried a flight simulator they train pilots on and killed everyone on board three times in a row. He's an electrician.

The first day we get there will definately be pool time, as coming from Toronto we had to get up around 4am last time. Also, I was told that Boma is a great dining experience, so I think the best thing is to not to go far the first day. (Maybe take my son to DTD for Disneyquest, as I believe its' included in the deluxe annual passes.

It will definately be a more relaxed trip than the last one. Since I now know that we'll be going again and again through DVC, we don't have to do the 14 hours a day at the parks like last trip.

One suggestion I have for ya is to check with them to see if they have preferences. As in, trying very direct questions, or even giving them "option A or option B" kind of things...(I wish I would have done this for restaurants and for planning our days). then, I could have at least said "hey, you decided on this too!". But, they wanted to leave everything to me, and then I could tell some things did not go over well.

For meals, We gave them menus and tried to get them to give us their input for restaurants. They kept insisting anything was fine by them.

But - late in the trip, my FIL says, "I do not care for buffets", while we were at our third one (we were there for free dining 8 nights).

Wish I would have known that! (plus two of them were character buffets, almost put him over the edge!).
-mary

 

[5forDiz]

Thanks for all the great advice. Every one of you.

I invited my in-laws for one reason, that being as an olive branch to try and make them treat me at least civilly. Lets just say we haven't gotten along since they realized I wasn't the doctor or the lawyer that they could brag to their friends about.

When my wife passed away from cancer just about 3 years ago, I wasn't even mentioned in her obituary.

For the sake of the kids, I'm doing what I think will bring us closer together, but I draw the line at Gatorland.

Seriously, I really hope this does what I'm hoping.

oooohhhh! so very sorry for what you've all been through. the obituary thing, well shame on them if they were responsible for the omission and kudos to you for your efforts to keep them involved in your kids lives, you will be blessed !

After reading this post, idk maybe don't set the expectation bar so high for this trip ?......maybe togetherness is something to work towards in small increments starting with accommodations;
ie is it less pressure on you getting yourself and your kids ready without MIL&FIL always there to see everything that is happening? and even to just kick back with your kids and relax.....jmho, for this trip, I'd be inclined to have them in their own completely separate studio and you & your kids in 1 bedroom villa. Or at the very least make it a 2 bedroom lock-off so the doors between the 1 bedroom side and the studio can be closed and MIL&FIL will have their own exterior door to come and go without having to walk through where you are.
Also, maybe think about having someone from your family(your parent or sibling?) or close friend come along as a sort of buffer between you & MIL-FIL; it could help take edge off things to have another adult along to interact with and as a support system for YOU.

Sending pixie dust your way that your planning goes well

Best wishes