The great Santa debate...

[tonilea]

DH and I differ on our approach to Santa. As Christians, we agree that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus, but we differ as to where the jolly old elf fits in. DH wants DS to believe in Santa. I don't. I want him to think of Santa as loads of fun, but ultimately a fictional character like Mickey Mouse.

That is the way my parents taught me. I never believed Santa was a real person. It was just fun.

I hate the idea of DS being crushed by some kid who spills the beans.

What do you do?

 

[tinkandpan]

I think every child deserves the opportunity to have the magic of Santa. Even if it lasts a few short years, it is so worth it to me. We have told the kids that the Santa's they see in the mall and such are helpers and the real santa is busy up at the north pole. We need to treat the mall santas as though they were the real ones because they represent Santa and are the next best thing.

 

[Tammysue5]

We are Christians here as well.... so the kids celebrate Christmas for the Birth of Jesus. We still have them believe in Santa! Santa spreads joy and goodness to everyone... and he makes people feel good. I can remember how magical it was when my sister and I would look out our bedrooom windows and swear we saw Santa (rudolphs nose too) in the sky! I WANT our kids to experience that magic ... that wonderful feeling that Santa is!

Even if it is for a few short years! DSs 22 and 16 still play along VERY well. I think they enjoyed their Christmas' so much they truly want their sisters to have those special memories as well.

 

[hrsmom]

You can incorporate the two together. Just because you're a Christian doesn't mean that your kids can't believe. I know someone who limits Santa gifts to only 3 to symbolize how many gifts Jesus received.

 

[bord1niowa]

I don't know any child that was crushed to find out that Santa wasn't really real. But the magic of it for those few years is something they will also remember fondly.

 

[reelmom]

We are Christians also and we let them believe in Santa. They understand that first and foremost, it is the birth of our Savior that we celebrate. We have told them that we celebrate Jesus' birth by giving presents and Santa does the same. As to the Santa debate, Saint Nicholas was a real person. According to www.stnicholascenter.org

The true story of Santa Claus begins with Nicholas, who was born during the third century in the village of Patara. At the time the area was Greek and is now on the southern coast of Turkey. His wealthy parents, who raised him to be a devout Christian, died in an epidemic while Nicholas was still young. Obeying Jesus' words to "Sell what you own and give the money to the poor," Nicholas used his whole inheritance to assist the needy, the sick and the suffering. He dedicated his life to serving God and was made Bishop of Myra while still a young man. Bishop Nicholas became known throughout the land for his generosity to those in need, his love for children and his concern for sailors and ships.

I hope this helps. Maybe as your child gets older, you can let him know that there really was a Santa, someone who loved the Lord and obeyed his command to help those in need. Good Luck.

 

[december]

We have always done 3 gifts from Santa. Santa brings gifts to help us remember the true Christmas story. Kids should believe in magic! And mine also believe Mickey and friends are real.

If you choose to not go with this, please explain to your child not to ruin it for everyone else. No one likes the child at the daycare who starts telling the other kids Santa isn't real, just like no one likes the kid in the character line who starts talking about the people in costume.

Do what you feel comfortable with. But believing in Christmas (or Disney) magic never hurt anyone.

 

[CrazedDisFan]

HOLD THE PHONE>>>>> MICKEY IS FICTIONAL??????!!!!

 

[rgribik]

reelmom: Very nicely said That is how we feel also. Kids are little for so very a short time, I want mine to have that "magic" feeling for as long as possible.

december: I agree with you on not letting non-santa kids, tell others that there is no santa. We had a little girl in our school(which is a Catholic School, by the way) tell the class in second grade that there is no Santa, not for religious reasons, her family just didn't do Santa. It took alot of talking to explain to my dd that some families don't believe, but we do(my kids always say, "I know santa is real because my mom and dad would never buy that stuff for us".

I love everything about Christmas, and I want my kids to love it also, that's why we are taking them to Disney in two weeks! Can't wait!!!!

 

[Mean Queen]

My DD believed Mickey Mouse was real until about 2 years ago (she's now 8.) We never told her he was real and not a character, that's just what she believed. When she figured out the truth she wasn't crushed, she still loves Disney (and us), and she believes in Santa still (though I'm not sure if she does or is just playing along for her little sister.) My DD only seems heartbroken when another kid tells her Santa isn't real. Just like with the characters, she'll let me know when she wants to stop believing.

 

[MiniGirl]

It was something we struggled with as well. Truthfully, we dealt with it by not dealing with it. We never talked about Santa coming or asked our dd (just 1 at the time) what she wanted Santa to bring her. We never confirmed or denied his exsistence. As far as she knew, the whole Santa thing was just a great story. It wasn't until she was about 3 or so, and people started asking her what Santa was going to bring her. It was only then that she started to realize that perhaps Santa wasn't just a fictional character. (I'm not talking about Saint Nicholas. I'm talking the one in the red suit and flying reindeer.) Truthfully, it scared the tar out of her. The thought of a strange man, no matter how kind, sneaking into our house while we were sleeping absolutely terrified her, so we told her. We also told her that it was a grown-up secret and she absolutely could not tell any of her friends at school -- well, preschool at the time.

Boy I'm feeling chatty tonight. I wrote a huge post about about how we celebrate the holidays in our house. Then I deleted it because that isn't what you asked. By your original post, I am assuming you are Christians. If you are, you and your dh should spend some time in prayer together seeking God and asking Him how He wants your family to celebrate the birth of His Son. Like I said, I deleted what we felt led to do (which is very unusual, BTW) because I know that isn't necessarily what God is calling all His people to. I don't think that our friends who "do" Santa love Jesus any less than we do. I just think we are called to different things. I also think if you seek Him together, He will put you on the same page. If He doesnt, however, I think you should let your dh make the final decision. That doesn't mean that you need to go overboard or leave Jesus out completely though. My dds' favorite part of the day is our annual birthday party. We invite all our friends over (no family nearby) and have cake and ice cream and sing "Happy Birthday." Loads of fun and actually a very relaxing end to what has been for many a hectic day.

Good luck whatever you decide, and sorry for the novel. I think it is my 2nd or 3rd this evening. Like I said... I'm feeling awfully chatty tonight.

 

[drivencrazy]

What are you going to say to your child when they find out that Santa isn't real and that you have lied to them for X amount of years?

We don't say that Santa isn't real... we talk about the person who he was and the great things that he did, he gave to the poor.

We go and SEE Santa and get pictures with him and tell him what we would like to get...

But here at are house, Santa isn't the one who puts gifts under the tree. Don't get me wrong, they get pretty much everything they ask for under there and there is always something left out (like Santa would have brought) there are stockings filled and waiting for them... But my kids have always known the truth....

JESUS is the reason for Christmas, we get and give gifts because of Him. Jesus provides us with the means to have a great Christmas, all of our thanks go to Him.

When asked what Santa brought for Christmas, the kids will tell them some of what they got. They know that some think Santa is real and they go along with it so someone else doesn't get hurt... but they really know.

You have to do what you feel is right, for us we just didn't want to have to deal with the disappointment of when they find out the truth.

 

[disneygal2007]

We are Christians and Christmas means the the birth. But Santa has nothing to do with religion it has to do with the magic in our kids eyes when they talk about Santa and the surprise that awaits them Christmas morning. Let your son be a kid. Don't rob him of that magic. There is nothing like waking up Christmas morning knowing that santa left presents just for you. LOL we always say that darn elf gets all the credit.

 

[december]

What are you going to say to your child when they find out that Santa isn't real and that you have lied to them for X amount of years?
We don't say that Santa isn't real... we talk about the person who he was and the great things that he did, he gave to the poor.

We go and SEE Santa and get pictures with him and tell him what we would like to get...

But here at are house, Santa isn't the one who puts gifts under the tree. Don't get me wrong, they get pretty much everything they ask for under there and there is always something left out (like Santa would have brought) there are stockings filled and waiting for them... But my kids have always known the truth....

JESUS is the reason for Christmas, we get and give gifts because of Him. Jesus provides us with the means to have a great Christmas, all of our thanks go to Him.

When asked what Santa brought for Christmas, the kids will tell them some of what they got. They know that some think Santa is real and they go along with it so someone else doesn't get hurt... but they really know.

You have to do what you feel is right, for us we just didn't want to have to deal with the disappointment of when they find out the truth.

I'm sorry, but this kind of judgemental crap really ticks me off. You can be Christian and still lets your kids believe in magic. Letting you kids believe in Santa is not LYING. Kids are not little adults, they are kids! And they need magic! Santa makes me feel good-and it makes my kids feel good. So does the tooth fairy and Easter bunny. If you don't do it, fine, but don't pass judgement on others.

By the way, my kids are 10 and 8. Innocent yes. Thats how I like it. I don't even remember learning the "truth" and wasn't scarred for life by it. It is fun. It doesn't have to be either Jesus or Santa-you can do both!

 

[rk5798]

We do celebrate Christmas by both teaching about the birth of Jesus and we also "believe" in Santa. I also plan on explaining to my children(ages 3 and 7 months) when they get older about St. Nicholas(as reelmom stated earlier). My 3 yr. old DD knows that the reason we celebrate Christmas is because it is baby Jesus' birthday and she believe's that is why we get gifts, it is like a birthday party. We also celebrate with a birthday cake for baby Jesus. Santa is just a fun person who helps us celebrate this wonderful day by bringing the "birthday" or Christmas presents(however you want to see it). We teach her that since Jesus loved us so much, we all get to give and receive gifts just like a real birthday party all the way down to singing "Happy Birthday". This is how it has always been done in our family and then the youngest always gets to blow out the candle on the birthday cake. I hope this helps you in your quest to figure out how to stress the real meaning of Christmas but to also enjoy the fun and magical part of Santa.

 

[kpm76]

We're Christians too and for us the real meaning of the season is the birth of Christ, however, we also will allow our DD to believe in Santa. I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. As others have said, the magic and excitement is something I want her to experience. I am really surprised that some don't go along with Santa because they don't want to deal with the disappointment. I have never met anyone who was disappointed when they found out the truth. I say let kids be kids and go along with the charade for as long as you can....kids grow up way too fast and we are too quick to start treating them like adults while robbing them of the innocence of childhood.

 

[lclark0621]

Does anyone know someone who is emotioanlly scared because their parents "lied to them" about Santa?

Seriously, lying? Come on, it is Santa. We al found out "the truth" at some point. Does anyone hold any deep resentment against their parents about it? Did anyone lock themselves in their room for months, not eating or sleeping, all because they found out "the truth" about Santa?

My DS believes Santa is real, he also thinks Mickey Mouse, the Power Rangers, Goofy, and the Easter Bunny are real to.

My DS also knows about Jesus & the "real reason" for Christmas.

And as long as I can keep that Magic alive, I will.

On a side note, the rule in my family's house is, if you dont believe in Santa, you dont get gifts from him on Christmas. If anyone drops "the truth" about Santa in my Mother's house, their stocking is empty on Christmas morning. I am 31 years old & you better believe I tell my Mom I believe is Santa.

 

[mrsltg]

I'm sorry, but this kind of judgemental crap really ticks me off. You can be Christian and still lets your kids believe in magic. Letting you kids believe in Santa is not LYING. Kids are not little adults, they are kids! And they need magic! Santa makes me feel good-and it makes my kids feel good. So does the tooth fairy and Easter bunny. If you don't do it, fine, but don't pass judgement on others.

By the way, my kids are 10 and 8. Innocent yes. Thats how I like it. I don't even remember learning the "truth" and wasn't scarred for life by it. It is fun. It doesn't have to be either Jesus or Santa-you can do both!

MTE!!! I really don't understand why people get so upset about this. We are Christian (well, the kids and I are) and we believe and I mean BELIEVE in Santa. We also celebrate the birth of Christ though my soon to be seven year old is well aware that many of the holiday traditions surrounding Christmas have nothing to do with Christ and everything to do with converting Pagans. Not to mention, Jesus was not born in the Winter - it's not a coincidence we celebrate His birth at the same time as the Winter Solstice. So honeslty, if we're going to get down on people "lying" to their kids, let's go with the bigger "lie". In all actuality, of course, as Christians we shouldn't be judging in the first place....

 

[JAM3]

I just have to chime in to say to the OP that we too have discussed this issue. We have chosen to treat Santa as any other fictional character. No presents from him, and he will not visit our house. We believe there is still excitement in Santa without having to lie about what happens. They will still be excited to see Santa, as they are to see Pooh at WDW! They will still be excited to wake up and run downstairs to see what presents are waiting for them. I do not believe there is any harm being done or magic lost in our house! I know several people who chose to treat Santa as a fictional character and that is it. All of the children still LOVE Christmas!

And the question about anyone being really bothered when they found out the truth about Santa: Yes, I do know a couple of friends of mine whose children cried, or became angry that they were lied too. So yes, there are children out there that are emotionally affected.

 

[drivencrazy]

I'm sorry, but this kind of judgemental crap really ticks me off. You can be Christian and still lets your kids believe in magic. Letting you kids believe in Santa is not LYING. Kids are not little adults, they are kids! And they need magic! Santa makes me feel good-and it makes my kids feel good. So does the tooth fairy and Easter bunny. If you don't do it, fine, but don't pass judgement on others.

By the way, my kids are 10 and 8. Innocent yes. Thats how I like it. I don't even remember learning the "truth" and wasn't scarred for life by it. It is fun. It doesn't have to be either Jesus or Santa-you can do both!

I did not mean to be judgemental, I was simpily saying what we do and why. I have no problem with anyone doing the Santa thing... I do ask the little ones that we see that do have Santa bring them gifts what he brought to them. I never said that it was wrong or no body should do it. We just don't. So sorry if you thought it was ment to hurt someone or to be judgemental, I did not mean that in any way.

And as for the lying... I know way to many people that have been really hurt over the finding out that Santa was not real. One being my hubby and we decided that we didn't want that for our children.