The DIS Support Group

[Helopoh]

My first weekend alone went well. but Thursday and friday was aweful....I don't know what happened. I spoke to Jason Thursday morning and he made me late for work basically because I was screamin at him about I don't have a clue but boy was I pissed. Then I get through that day just angry and hurt and upset to all degrees. friday morning starts another arguement. This time about what I feel he is doing to his family. Dorian is not taking this well at all and EX DH is not making anything easy and being incredibly selfish. EX has said a few very selfish statements and I am just steaming at the ears that our son told me he bought Other Womans kids shoes at Target but failed to look at his own sons feet. Did I mention he is living with Other woman HER HUSBAND and there 2 kids. Her Husband is a moron. My EX has told me right to my face that he is physically attracted to this woman. They both claim nothing is going on between them and that they are friends. I don't believe that for a moment. HER husband is just straight up weird and he is like another child for her and I feel bad for him and the kids. EX caused an arguement about the fact he is supporting 2 household and that he is just trying to work on himself. So I loose it once again on the phone and to be honest this breakdown of mine has been a long time coming. I let loose the mean nasty hurt side of me. EX basically hangs up the phone. I am now more pissed. I pack me and Dorian in the car and run to his daycare drop him off and head to my job. Now I am normally the life of the office. Can ya feel the pain I must have emitted. My supervisor who is a real nice guy pulls me into the hall. (he knows about the seperation and he is very supportive.) He says to my face that the systems are going to be down from 1 on and that they were sending us home with pay anyway so he was sending me home with pay earlier on a vote that I am no good to him because I can't concentrate and I am almost to a point of sobbing. I thank him greatly but do I go home. Do I leave Dorian in Daycare...NO I go to EX's Job. I get him into the parking lot and FLIP I am not screaming which is good but I was running off at the mouth so fast that I said so things I am not proud about. I don't even remember anything I said for the most part. What I do remember was that I did say a few things that we real real mean and unnecessary and I don't even know where they came from but I am basing it on a temporary insanity. I was so emotional I was freaking out. I think I had a breakdown but I am not even sure about that. I finish with EX walking away and I am still steaming. I get Dorian from Daycare and go to a friends house and I pretty much had a melt down. I am so glad she was home. I spent most of the day with her and then I go home and call EX.. I am much calmer now and we talk about what time I need to drop off Dorian. I am still in no condition for anything and after I dropped off Dorian I came home made a few calls and went to bed. Sat I spent with a friend on the road14 hrs post and I spent the rest of Sunday out with Dorian. So now on Monday morning I am getting this out of my system and getting ready for work. I really hope I never do that again. I felt aweful.


HUGS to everyone else who needs it. I am in no condition to give advice so I will just send my love.

 

[Serena]

Denise, I don't know what to say. Hang in there. And I have a feeling getting all that anger out is a good thing. {{{hugs}}}

Have a great day everyone.

 

[s&k'smom]

Oh Helenpooh, I wish we could sit down and have a cup of tea together. You sound exactly like my sister did two years ago. But you know what she is now in such a better place and boy did she come out strong and like the winner she is.

Well Sunday I felt like I was having a breakdown. DH was so good, he took the kids out and they were gone for at least 3 hours. It was just what I needed. He is worried that he's done something wrong but I keep trying to tell him it's me. I also made a call to a psychiatrist to get "happy" pills. I don't think I can get through this without medication which I hate but I'm pretty much at the bottom so now it's time to work on getting "up".

Tomorrow is my DS's 7th birthday so I have a lot to be grateful for. Love to all.

 

[Rajah]

*HUGS* to everyone!

Denise -- I'm so sorry things are getting to such a rough point for you. I wish I could do more than just offer cyber-hugs, P&PD. *HUGS*

s&k -- nothing wrong with using the medicine if/when you need it. It can make such a difference that it's worth it if you can take them. I hope they work for you. In the meantime, *HUGS*

As for me -- I had a minor collapse I guess Sunday. Thankfully it was on a day when I could stay home. I intended to get a lot of work done on a project yesterday and I needed to get those hours in, but I could *not* get moving. I was so exhausted I literally either slept or read in bed until *4pm*. Other than that I was only up for about 20 minutes to eat brunch. Was still exhausted when I got home last night after going to the IL's for dinner. But I'm feeling better today, so I guess I needed that day of crashing.

 

[jamsmom]

I am still having neck problems and am sleepy more than usual... a lot more. i am not sure if it is because I am not sleeping well because of my neck at night or because in some ways it is just easier to be asleep.

 

[Planogirl]

Aw Denise, I'm so sorry that all of this is happening to you. I went through a similar thing at one time and I ranted quite a bit. I think that I actually needed to vent as bad as I felt afterwards. Hang in there. {{{{Hugs}}}}

s&k'smom, I agree that it's OK to depend on a little help sometimes. I had some of those pills at one time myself and yes, they were definitely needed for me!

Rajah, I have sleepless night too sometimes. I can't figure out why mine happen but they seem to go on forever! Good luck with getting some rest.

jamsmom, I hope that you find comfort and restful sleep.

{{{{Hugs}}}} and PD to everyone else who is trying to deal with some issues. I'm glad to see that this thread is still alive and that everyone hasn't withdrawn like I tend to do. I'm going to fight against this tendency because it's not at all helpful.

 

[FloridaCat]

I am so sorry for all of you hurting so bad.
Prayers you get your hearts desire
PD
{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

 

[chell]

Denise - sorry that you had such a rough weekend. But sometimes you just need to do that. I usually do regret some things I said, but overall I feel better that I got things off of my chest. {{{HUGS}}} to you!!!!

Tammi - glad you were able to rest even though you had other plans.

s&k - it's okay if you need to go on medicine for a while. It can make a world of difference.

Carol - sorry to hear that you are still having neck problems. I wish they could hurry up and get that fixed for you. Are you putting anything on your neck? I have this stuff called Biofreeze Pain Relieving Gel. It is great!!! I bought it last year for my hip/back problems. It really helped reduce the pain. This past weekend I had to use it on my neck and it really did help. But the problem with my neck is that I was using the phone a lot at work today and that made it hurt all over again.

{{{HUGS}}} to anyone else that needs them.

Hi to Serena and Planogirl.

Sorry if I have left someone out. I didn't do it on purpose, it's just this faulty memory of mine.

 

[s&k'smom]

Thanks for the positive thoughts everyone. I can't tell you how much I love to come on my computer in the morning and find you all there. Today is my DS's 7th birthday so no matter what it's a great day. Hugs to all.

 

[chell]

Originally posted by s&k'smom
Thanks for the positive thoughts everyone. I can't tell you how much I love to come on my computer in the morning and find you all there. Today is my DS's 7th birthday so no matter what it's a great day. Hugs to all.

Hope he has a wonderful birthday and hope you have a wonderful day!!!!!

 

[s&k'smom]

Oh thank you chellnjr. Cake and ice cream does it get any better? DS is mildly autistic and this is the first time he has been excited for his birthday so it really is special.

 

[Rajah]

Good morning everyone. Sending tons of *hugs* all around!

S&k -- Happy birthday to your son!!!

 

[jamsmom]

s&k'smom- that is wonderful that your son is excited about his birthday! Happy Birthay to him

 

[Lady M]

Dax, this is a good idea you had for starting this thread.

Sometimes I think people just need to "vent" their feelings or emotions and that in itself can be very healing for them. I'm sure this support group will be very helpful to many who visit this board. You are to be commended, Dax, for providing a place of care amd concern for your fellow DISers.

Marie

 

[Dax]

Awww shucks....I was just having a bad day, week, month...whatever, and decided we needed a thread, that could found easy, where we all could just vent our issues, and get support. No criticism, just support...


Anywhooo......My pool gets installed tomorrow. I feel a fight coming on...between DH and I....Just dont know....We shall see....


Otherwise, {{{{HUGS}}}} to those in need, I am thinking of you all.....

 

[FloridaCat]

Good night all.
{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} for all who are hurting
Prayers for those in need of wisdom and healing.

 

[Rajah]

Hi Marie. Good to see you on here.

Good night everyone. *hugs*

 

[s&k'smom]

Good morning, thank God for coffee.

 

[Rajah]

Okay, now that DH isn't sitting over my shoulder...

Why do men (and this is a man rant since it's coming from a woman ) have to be so clueless sometimes?? Last night, DH and I got into a verbal jousting match over a snack I like to eat (currently, vanilla wafers). I was arguing that they're a healthier alternative to some of the snacks I *used* to eat, and I'm at least getting better in my dietary habits. His stand was if I'm starting to exercise to try and improve my health, what am I doing eating something with 20-something carbohydrates? I don't know what happened, but that ended up escalating to him making a gesture that I took to mean "I (DH) don't eat that kind of stuff, I avoid carbs and sugar as much as possible, and see, I have a flat stomach." Which implies, I (me), as someone who *does* eat that kind of stuff, have a not-flat stomach. True statements, both of them, but right now I'm a little sensitive about that and I'm already too self-conscious about wearing stuff like my workout outfit because it "shows my curves" so to speak. Including the ones I don't like.

I know he didn't mean anything insulting by it, but he ended up insulting me and hurting my feelings. So I storm up with the intention of taking out my anger on the exercise bike.

What does he do? Get in my way so I can't go anywhere, then when I'm flaming mad, try to hold me. I've explained to him before that when I'm in *that* mood and use *that* voice and tell him to get out of my way, MOVE. Don't hold me or I'll blow up!

ARGH!

Took him the rest of the night of pretty much wallowing and crawling and apologizing for me to calm down and accept him again.

Men.

 

[JeniC]

Rajah: I feel for you! My DH does that too! I am trying so hard to lose the baby weight (50 lbs) and all he does is tell me that I'm not eating right. But he does in that Do as I say not as I do way that I don't need right now. He's my husband not my dad. Just cause he's has two kids and is in great shape doesn't mean that he can give me a hard time about having trouble losing weight.