The DIS Support Group

[Rajah]

Edie -- I'm sorry. Wish I had some real words of wisdom for you. *HUGS*

Helopoh -- Congrats again on getting the job, sorry your H bailed on you like that, and sending some extra-strength PD that you're able to find the daycare you need. Are there any neighbor teens you would trust with babysitting for the week while you find longer-term arrangements?

s&k -- good luck on the interview! And hey, if you like the 2-piece, enjoy your 2-piece and don't second-guess it. It's okay to spoil yourself now and again.

As for me -- I still don't know whether the sore throat was allergies or more. I've had a mnior stomach ache / nausia / heartburn for a week now. :/ (no, not pregnant -- I almost always get that if I mention ongoing stomach aches ) The sore throat was gone today, but not the stomach issues. So I dunno. Probly just me drinking too many acidic beverages like diet coke and stuff recently. *sigh* Otherwise, though, I'm doing great. I didn't finish my mom's cross stitch for her birthday, but I knew I wouldn't and I did get enough done on Saturday that I was able to show her yesterday (when we got together to celebrate her birthday) and she really likes it so far, so I'm happy.

Hope everyone's Monday goes well, and for those who aren't having a good Monday, double-Hugs!!

 

[Helopoh]

Well I got Dorian into a Daycare..http://www.wolfsdaycarecenter.com/index.html It is the one I wanted and the one I always wanted him in if he ever had to go. They have been so nice about helping me especially since I swallowed my heart and told them about the seperation. I felt the woman needed to know since I am afraid Dorian may act out or cry more than he normally would and I want to be aware of it. Dorian seems fine right now. Ex came to sign the paperwork for Daycare tonight and left. Dorian was alittle upset but was soon distracted. I am doing better for the most part I am alittle nervous about my first day tomorrow.

Rajah- I hope you feel better soon. Sore throats make me nuts..

S&K- Do what I did. Hold you head up smile and be yourself. You'll do great!!

Hope everyone else is well!!

 

[s&k'smom]

Good morning, just checking in. got date for interview mixed up but went in anyway to get a feel for the office and have decided working for an attorney is not for me but I'm gonna go anyway next week for the interview experience. Feeling a little blah this am but will hang in their. I'm so glad for you helopoh, have been thinking of you. Take care guys and have a great day.

 

[Rajah]

(Good grief, finally! I've been trying to *read* this page for 15 minutes, then waited another 10 for the reply form to show up! Sheesh!)

Good -- hrm, not morning any more, so good afternoon instead. Hope everyone's day is going well.

Can I post another vent? No real problem, no need for sympathy or anything, just frustrated. Sunday night, I had more caffiene at dinner than I thought I'd had and I ended up not being able to fall asleep until after 3. Didn't even bother going to bed until 2:30 since I was too hyper and I've learned that if I'm that hyper, I do *much* better just getting some stuff done (cross stitch, computer work, even DISing etc) than I do wasting the time tossing and turning. Anyway, because of that late hour, I was pooped yesterday by the time it was time to go home. So I toyed with either taking a nap at 6 until DH got home (didn't work anyway, my dad got a new Explorer and they brought it over for me to see ) or stay up and just go to bed early. I opted to go to bed early.

Well, 10 rolls around (usual bedtime for me is 12:30) and I say okay, I'm ready for bed now. But first I must spend 10 minutes playing with the kitties. That's very important time. Well, while I was playing with the kitties, DH comes down and starts talking. And talking. And talking. 30 minutes later (this *after* I'd told him twice that I wanted to go to bed early last night), as I'm trying to head to bed, he says "Oh, can you come check this code and see if *you* can get this working?" He and I both do some private web-design on the side (same "boss" for some of the projects, different for others), and occasionally help each other out when something's not working. I go fine, go upstairs, and take a look. 30 minutes later we have his problem fixed, something planned for another project I'm working on, and I try to go to bed yet again. Only to have him tell me that our boss has something he wants fixed TONIGHT and it really is important that it be fixed TONIGHT. I wonder why I wasn't told this WHEN I GOT HOME (we communicate through email after all). DH says I was. No, I wasn't. Yes, I was. No.

So I tell DH to go in to *my* computer and check my mail in Outlook. I walk in a few minutes later to see him with a sheepish expression on his face but him pointing to my email (of the past 4 days just *now* coming in... ) going, "Yes you were". Turns out he changed where the mail is stored (he runs the server) and never updated my client. So I wasn't getting mail for this job for the past 4 days.

Anyway, long and short of all of this is, yet again, that I didn't get to sleep until 1:30 last night. If DH had fixed my client (or, shoot, just *told* me it needed to be changed, I could have done that!) so I was getting my email, I would have seen the instruction at 6 when I got home instead of at 11pm, could have finished that part well before 10 instead of cross stitching, and could have been in bed at the latest by midnight.

Oh, and get this. After keeping me up working 3 hours later than I wanted to go to bed (all of which either I could have done myself earlier if I'd known, or DH could have done by himself), DH started whimpering at me when I wanted *him* to stay up and help (or at *least* keep me company) while I did a couple of the pre-bed chores that *would* have been done 3 hours earlier. So it's okay for him to keep me up for 3 hours past when I need to go to bed, but not okay for me to keep him up 15 minutes later?

 

[Serena]

Tammi, were you thinking of various forms of physical torture???

 

[Dax]

Hey all. Back from a WONDERFUL weekend. went to the movies on Friday and just stayed home and played some games, did some yard work and other things the other few days. What a good weekend.

Otherwise all is well....

{{{{HUGS TO ALL}}}}}}

 

[Rajah]

Originally posted by Serena
Tammi, were you thinking of various forms of physical torture???

For what? The horrible slowness of this system? DH for keeping me up working when I *could* have known earlier if he'd told me about the mail change? Or in general today because of this project that's going on at work that is so frustrating yet again?


Dax -- Great to hear!!

 

[s&k'smom]

Morning all, interview went really well today and they said they would call for a 2nd. this job is part-time and could grow into something down the road. Plus it's in walking distance of my house. Ds had a meltdown today over sunblock-can't tell why yet but we are off to the new psychiatrist (sp?) tomorrow to do more exploring! Will have lots to tell Friday.

 

[Rajah]

(Am I the only one having trouble getting this thread to load? It keeps getting stuck on the first post of the page for about 5 minutes (or more) before finally loading the rest. )

Good news S&K! Is this the job you really want, or is that interview today?

Good morning everyone.

 

[Dax]

Hi All.....Its payday...for me and hubby, and gues what....Its all gone...Geez...doesnt take much does it...oh well. It was just a rough bill period...so we have to stay in the house a few weeks...ces't la vie.


So how is everyone today? Rajah? All well with you? Check in everyone and let us know how we all are doing...

 

[Rajah]

No wonder I couldn't find this thread! LOL! I was searching through the deeper pages at the same time you bumped it, Dax.

Good afternoon everyone! I'm doing pretty much great today. Went to a yoga class last night for the first time and had an excellent experience -- not like the exercise things I used to do (and hate!) in school at all. And I'm only a little sore today, which is nice. I want to go again tonight, but I don't get off work early enough so I'm going to have to skip / do at home. But I figured I could run some errands after work and go get some more appropriate workout clothes and a mat and stuff instead.

Work-wise, I was told this morning that I'm almost a week ahead of where my sup wanted me to be on this project (*despite* my DISing), so that made me happy.

All in all, going great!

How's everyone else doing?

Serena -- here's another *hug* for you. I saw your other thread.

s&k -- how'd it go yesterday?

Dax -- sorry the bills are so rough. I hate it when you have this nice paycheck in your hands (or stub if you're direct deposited) and then it's gone all to bills. *hugs*

 

[Serena]

Good afternoon Tammi.
The email I read last night from my husband didn't sound like him at all. It sounded like a stranger and not the person I spent 22 years with.
I don't know, it wasn't what he said, it was the tone. It's just past time.
I called the lawyer and left a message to go ahead and file the divorce. We've already met and everything is ready, all she has to do is file it.
Like I said, it's sad, but it's time.

The yoga sounds great, try to keep it up.

Dax, I know very well what you are talking about. {{{hugs}}}

s&k, good luck, but we need an update, how are you?

Edie? How are you?

 

[s&k'smom]

God was I glad to see this in my inbox this morning. I have a 2nd interview today for the job I want. It's funny, now that I've made up my mind to leave where I am I can't wait. It's like a big anchor around my neck. I feel like nothing I do is right here but that's not why I want to leave. I've discovered I'm not cut out to be a legal secretary. My son's appointment yesterday went very well and we have his follow-up next week to discuss meds. Have a great weekend everybody. Stay strong.

 

[JeniC]

Hugs to All.

I am not sure where to start with my problem. I have been feeling very depressed lately, crying alot and sleeping alot. Everything seems to overwhelm me and I don't know what to do.

First of all I just had a baby in March a beautiful DD. It was a problem pregnancy that ended well but I was told that it would be best if we didn't have any more so I had my tubes tied. I don't think I was feeling this way until I found out that I wasn't going to get 3 months of paid leave like I was promised and I had to go back to work a month early.

Once I started back to work my boss told me that she went ahead and started a big project while I was gone and expected me to jump in and take over. This project is something that I have been working on getting started for 4 years and I still wasn't ready to begin yet. Now I feel like I'm drowing in work. I am doing my regular work and this project which should be a full time position but I am expected to work only 40 hours. She told me that anything over 40 would be Comp time not overtime. I don't think this is fair but I'm not sure what my recourse is.

On top of this I am trying to get my BS finished I only have 3 classes left but with work being so crazy I'm not sure if I will be able to finish which means no raise in pay.

There is so much going on and I feel so overwhelmed. DH is really helpful with the kids and housework but he doesn't seem to understand why I feel this way. He thinks I should just "relax". Whenever I try to talk with him he ignores me, we haven't had a date night in a long time. I think that this will cause some problems soon if we don't talk about everything. Does anyone have any ideas of how to get him to talk to me?

Thanks!

 

[s&k'smom]

ok Jen the first thing I would do is to see if you have any recourse on your maternity leave. If they promised you 3 months and you have it in writing you may want to speak with someone legally. Remember the Federal law is that you can have 12 week of leave (Family Act Law-if I'm wrong could someone correct me). Another thing is to (at least it was this way for me) it took me a long time to get into the swing of things at work after coming back from a maternity leave. It's really tough and (IMHO) you've got to give yourself a lot of time. Is there anyone is the Human Resources dept. you can speak with? Just wanted you to know I totally identify with your feelings. Good luck.

 

[EdiePA]

I decided that I needed a few days off to regroup. Originally I was supposed to go to Michigan this weekend to pick out a rehearsal dinner site for DS#1. BUT now that the engagement is off (DS decided that at 20 y.o. he wasn't ready for this -- yes!!), I had two days and so, I decided to keep them for myself. Ever since the separation and having to go back to work full-time, I've had very little "Edie" time. These last two days have been heaven. I'm sewing a quilt for DS#2 for college (out of his old T-shirts) and last night we did a marathon shopping trip to outfit his college room.

Jen, it sounds like you have so much on your plate right now! First, a problem pregnancy, birth, early return to work and now you feel like your DH won't talk. Could someone watch the baby for you so that you can have a couple of hours to re-connect? Also, I'd check with your Employee Assistance program and see if there isn't some help for you. Sounds like possible post-partum depression or maybe your hormones are still out of whack!

Huge hugs and pixie dust for everyone!

Edie

 

[Rajah]

*HUGS* to everyone!!

Good luck S&K! I hope the second interview works well for you and you get the job you want!

Jeni -- welcome to the group. *hugs* I sure can see why you're feeling so stressed and depressed. I would be, too! As the others have said, can you talk to someone in HR or something to see if you have any recourse? Also, is this job somewhere you really like (or need), or would it be possible for you to try to find somewhere else to work that is less stressful and will allow you time to be with your new baby?

Good luck on the BS, and GOOD FOR YOU! Only 3 classes left -- you can do it! *hugs*

As for your DH -- why do men do that? I've had similar problems (just without the kids/pregnancy involvement) and my DH has the same reaction. Rather than letting me talk about it to someone who will *listen* and offer advice or at least a hug and shoulder, his biggest support is to say "you just need to relax". ARGH! I *hate* that! Well -- I'm trying to learn how to relax. Trying yoga in my case, and already it's having an impact. Dunno if it'll last or if I'll keep up with it, but at least short-term it's helping. Dunno if something similiar would help you. But I do think you sound like you should find someone there at the office or your church or a doctor that you can talk to. I know my company insurance includes a few Employee Assistance things like counselors. (I'm just too shy/embarassed to go when I need it ) Maybe your office has something similar? If they do, think about looking there for help.

I also think Edie's idea of finding a way to reconnect is a good one. Is there someone who could watch the kid(s) for a night so you and DH could go away together for a night or weekend out?

*HUGS* to you!!! And keep us posted?

Edie -- good to see you back. Glad you got a couple of you days. *HUGS*

 

[JeniC]

Thanks for the great advice everyone!

I talked to HR today and they claimed that there was an internal booboo that made everyone's leave inflated, because I thought I had enough leave saved up I didn't apply for a paid LOA. When I found out about the screwup with the leave it was too late to apply for LOA.

I was hoping that DH and I could take some time away tonight but my MIL is having a new bed delivered for DS. So I have to clean his room so they can get the new bed into his room. DS has too many toys, I am making a decree that no-one can buy him a toy for his bd next week. Since DH works evenings its hard for us to get together.

I'll try to keep everyone updated.

Thanks Again!

 

[chell]

Hey Jeni. Welcome to our group! Sorry to hear that you are having problems. You might want to talk to your doctor and see what can be done to help. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Ok everyone, I really need good thoughts, prayers and anything else you can spare the next few days. I can't really go into it on here, but I'm having a rough time right now. If anyone really wants to know I can explain it in a PM. I just don't want it out here for the entire world.

But I am lucky to have such a wonderful group of ladies that I work with and wonderful sisters. They are trying to help me through this. But it is still difficult since none of them have been through this.

Sorry to ramble.

 

[Rajah]

Of course, Michelle. *HUGS* Sending P&PD that way. And if you want an ear, I'm a PM or email away.