The DIS secret handshake - Bad Idea!

[BrittnTylersMom]

-runs away from computer crying knowing she is not on any buddy list-

I saw this coming. I just knew, rightfully so, that some of the newer DIS members would feel excluded because they joined more recently and may not have a ton of posts. Heck, I wondered if I would be considered one to be deserving of the password..and I've been here since 2003.

There are many New.. June-July-August-New-people who would be considered safe to trade with (was going to mention names, but decided not to).

Bottom line is, no matter what, password or not...it's up to each of us to decide who we are comfortable enough to trade with!! And if someone decides not to trade, it doesn't mean the tradee is a bad person..but just maybe someone whom the trader feels they don't know well enough yet.

And just to let you know Disneyfan_77, you're alright in my book!

 

[debbiedoo]

sounds like a great plan!

 

[Califgirl]

I saw this coming. I just knew, rightfully so, that some of the newer DIS members would feel excluded because they joined more recently and may not have a ton of posts. Heck, I wondered if I would be considered one to be deserving of the password..and I've been here since 2003.

There are many New.. June-July-August-New-people who would be considered safe to trade with (was going to mention names, but decided not to).

Bottom line is, no matter what, password or not...it's up to each of us to decide who we are comfortable enough to trade with!! And if someone decides not to trade, it doesn't mean the tradee is a bad person..but just maybe someone whom the trader feels they don't know well enough yet.

And just to let you know Disneyfan_77, you're alright in my book!

I agree whole heartedly! If you're not comfortable with a trade for any reason, stop. Clarify the trade, and start again if you want to, or just say no thank you.

I've traded with Disneyfan_77 many times and yes, Disneyfan_77, you are on my buddy list!

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

Please forgive this question but I figured it'd be a good place to ask.

What is the point of trading and why would someone want to scam you and why wouldn't parents let their kids trade with people unless they are in the room?

It seems very complicated for a video game of sorts.

I was in one of the ceremonies on 9/11 and in America trivia after. I have a few people on my buddy list. I'm tryin to figure this all out.

 

[4fosterkids]

I am fairly new to VMK, and don't have any buddy lists yet and have never traded so far. I always tell them no if they ask, because I don't know much about it yet. I'm just ramblin' around, collecting credits on games and shopping like crazy and having fun watching everyone. I have been a dis member for alot longer then a vmk'er and I am starting to recognize many of you in the park now. My kids are just starting to play too, so we are learning as we go (and read all your great posts too).

 

[Chedstro]

If I could figure out the buddy list system, I would put you on mine; but I think I may be too new also.

I will try when I have a clear head tomorrow.

Cindy (Coriander)

 

[Disneyfan_77]

LOL! I forgot to put - LOL- in that post!
But thank you guys for making feel better!


:thewave: :thewave: :thewave: :thewave:
^^^^^ are these new smilies? I just heart It! lol

 

[Alyce]

Please forgive this question but I figured it'd be a good place to ask.

What is the point of trading and why would someone want to scam you and why wouldn't parents let their kids trade with people unless they are in the room?

It seems very complicated for a video game of sorts.

I was in one of the ceremonies on 9/11 and in America trivia after. I have a few people on my buddy list. I'm tryin to figure this all out.

I know I am new to this discussion...but it seems to me that since this is just a game and the items for trade are only virtural, why is this such a big deal?
I know it does not feel good to be scammed, but maybe getting the most rare of things has overshadowed the purpose of the game...to have fun.....
just a few thoughts...Alyce
what buddy list ?

 

[BrittnTylersMom]

LOL! I forgot to put - LOL- in that post!
But thank you guys for making feel better!

Sorry, didn't mean to point you out..could have been anybody..was just a good reference at the time!

 

[Disneyfan_77]

No worries!




(BTW - Notice I am wearing a lime green shirt in my siggy picture! )

 

[Buzzfanmom]

I don't want any DIS friends to feel excluded. This whole idea was only meant as a way to protect DIS people from getting scammed because there are a FEW untrustworthy people out there.
If you have low post counts or have not been a member here for very long but you have friends who trust you, you should still be able to get the password. That is the whole reason for passing it along.
No one knows you better than your friends. Its not fair for anyone to deem you worthy or not because of how long you have been here or how active you are on the threads.
For the few people I have given it to, I have said in the PM to pass it along to those you trust.
I don't think I will respond to PM's anymore because I certainly don't want to hurt feelings if I have to turn someone down.
Maybe we should just pass it along like we did with secrets back in school and eventually it will get around to everyone who should have it.
But if you guys really don't like the idea, then its fine to nix it too.

 

[Mom2RinJen]

A secret handshake? OK Im tired this morning and this post just needed to be repsonded to. Since when did the Dis become such an exclusinve club that we need secret handshakes? Trading is very safe as long as you watch what you do and dont click the accept button until everything has been put up. Once someone takes something off their list the check box disappears on your side. To this day, I still can not figure out how people get scammed. In the case of the tiaras, well I wouldn't have agreed to that trade in the first place. Not unless five were offered first for nothing then the next 15 offered the next time with your placing your pin there. Which would require trust of the person you are trading with. Trading is all common sense. Kudos to the moms and dads out there helping their kids learn the ropes and making sure they aren't taken advantage of, but as adults, really its all just common sense. Seriously, secret handshakes? I have no intention of EVER becoming privy to such secret, nor will i ever use such a thing. I have been on Dis for five years, low post count, but anyone who knows me knows I am trustworthy despite my post count. So if any secret handshake Disers out there want to trade with me, I WILL NOT have the code so I guess we won't trade? Honestly, where has the Dis board I have come to love gone? I know its out there somewhere. Guess I will just have to wade through the muck till I find it.

 

[NJ Mike]

Well, i guess i will chime in too, even though i am also new, for whatever that is worth.

1.There are people here on the dis that i will trade with in a heartbeat. Not to single people out, but just as an example lets say the capes. They certainly do not need a handshake with me nor (hopefully) do i need one with them.

2. There are people here on the dis that i do not know at all that have been here for years or have posted over 1000 times. They do not know me either. That being said, i would not enter a trade with them because of a word or phrase, and hopefully they would want more information on/from me than that as well.

3. No offense to the person who was scammed most recently, but i really dont see how a password/handhake would have done anything at all to change that particular trade situation. How the items were exchanged was, and always will be, at the discretion of both people trading.

4. The people that i have, and will in the future, trade with are ones who i feel i know at least on a casual basis but more importantly are people that i feel comfortable with. A handsake, or lack thereof, from them or from people i do not know will not change how i trade one bit.

5. When you start excluding people, on any basis, it is impossible to not exclude some of the good people along with the bad. It is not intentional, it just happens. That being said, i did not think the dis was about exclusionary tactics, and cliques. After all vmk is full enough of that already.

I guess if people want to trade with those that they do not know and/or trust then maybe you need a handshake. But personally, i would take a step back and ask if its wise to trade with them even with a password? After all if you do not know/trust them, you do not know/trust them. And no handshake will change that, at least it really shouldnt.

Peeps, if i know you i will prob trade with you. no handshake needed. If i don't, then you could recite the dictionay to me and it really wont change much, so i guess we will just have to get to know each other first.

Just my $.02. Your mileage may vary.

 

[SeaSpray]

I thought I woke up in the Twilight Zone this morning, until I see Mainstreetlad's and Moussedude's posts. Whew, thanks, guys!

I am not trying to put down the original poster. She was just trying to come up with a better way to try and eliminate bad trades. I think mainstreetlad and MousseDude pretty much went into the details of how that could possibly not work as planned.

I want to say that over the years I have always welcomed new people to the DIS boards, and *especially* now, our new VMK friends Whether you've posted once or thousands of times, you are still a part of this message board community. How you choose to handle yourself within this community is up to you, but remember that everyone sees your actions, good or bad.

Like I've said before, having "Dis" in a VMK signature is no guarantee that you're talking or trading with someone who is entirely honest. But for the most part, I've only seen excellent behavior from DISers on VMK

Moussedude, thanks for using CapeCAD and I as an example. You know we feel the same way about you It's the same as we feel about all of our online "friends", the ones we specifically spend our VMK time with

 

[Iris]

I wonder if this will exclude some of the newer players such as myself. I have been on DIS for a very long time as you can see by my number of posts, but I am not well known to this board. I would never scam anyone and in fact, I have made more trades than I have wanted.


I see the logic in this idea but I worry that some will be left out. I have a lot of ppl on my buddy list but as I said, I am not well known on this particular DIS board. What do you do for ppl in this situation?

And yes, scams do happen. I entered a trade in which the other person wanted my crown and I cannot remember what I was to get in return but I know it was something I wanted. I put the crown in my box, they put their item in their box and as I hit accept, they quickly removed their item in lightening speed and was out the door. (I admit that I was also distracted by my DH who was talking to me at the time) It was my only crown so now my purple dress has no crown to match. I learned my lesson, to watch carefully when I trade and have moved on.

I have also been the recipient of some extremely kind and generous people who have traded with me for those items I missed since I could not log on during Beta. I will be forever grateful to Daisypaws for my beloved hat and to SolarDragon for my gold items. There was another, whose name I cannot recall who traded me for black ears which I love. I did not know these people well but I put my faith in them and was rewarded ten fold. They did not also know me well but still put faith in me.

 

[Buzzfanmom]

Oh boy am I in trouble!

I appreciate everyones posts, those for the idea and those against. It has brought up a lot of very good points.

I think that obviously we should all try to use good judgement when trading. But sometimes, good judgement is not enough when someone says they are from the DIS but they are only using the name to gain false trust. And from other threads you can see that this does happen.

I always considered everyone from the DIS my online friends and I would like to think that I still can. I always try to look for the best in people. Unfortunately, sometimes you get burned as was the case with one of DIS friends when told she was trading with another DIS member and her stuff was stolen. In the past, I have only traded with people I already know but not everyone plays that way.

And I too have been the recipient of wonderful acts of kindness from other DIS players on VMK. Just the other day Piratesmate was generous enough to trade me her spacesuit for my 5 year old. These are the types of people that make me proud to be a member of the DIS. I wish everyone with DIS in their signature was like her, willing to help out other DISers just because they can.

I was only trying to help and I am soooooo sorry if people's feelings were hurt.

 

[BriarRosie]

I don't know what the password is yet, or how exactly it is supposed to go, but I hope someone has thought of a way to use it that can't be taken advantage of.

For example, say I am scammer; I see on Dis that there is a "secret password". I use this to my advantage in trading, by asking for the secret password in the trade window. You think "oh good, it's someone who knows the password". You give me the password. I now have the password that I can use to scam others. This would be a way to "scam" the password, thus necessitating a new password.

Not sure of a remedy for this. Maybe use the password in a sentence, without letting on that it's the password, and then if someone asks you in the trade window, you know that they don't know it?

I never thought of that scenario. Now it's getting complicated! LOL!

We really didn't think our scam prevention help idea would be taken
as exclusionary. We were trying to help after reading LisaInNc's post
about trusting someone mostly because of a DIS connection and getting
burned.

Since there seems to be a lot of negativity surrounding this idea, perhaps
it should fall by the wayside.

 

[Buzzfanmom]

I agree BriarRosie. It was never our intention to hurt feelings.
The DIS is a place to share your love of Disney. Thats all.

 

[RicksCafe]

You know, I can see both sides of this issue. Anyone who has trusted another player and then been betrayed certainly can understand why someone might want some kind of "Dis-Vmk Better Business Bureau." On the other hand, the secret handshake idea is fraught with difficulties and even the potential for serious abuse and conflict.

In the end, the benefits of such a secret system (well-intentioned and conceived as it is or may be) may not outweigh the costs or potential hazards.

Regarding board related signatures: I joined the DIS and another, similar board because of the friendly people I met in VMK who were part of these online communities. Yet I have purposely not altered my signature to reflect my board memberships. (My sig, btw, is "RicksCafe - a carousel of light and wonder." Cute, huh?) My point is that I have been booted twice from rooms because the board-affiliated owner had not met me yet. Does it feel good? No. But that is the price I paid for not changing my sig.

The moral of this boring post? Annoying or costly things will happen based on the decisions you make. Not much to do about that but live and grow. Is that sad? Depends on how you look at it.

Thanks for loving the magic that is..
RicksCafe

EDITED: So does it happen to anyone else that while you are typing your thoughts, the entire issue is negated by posts filed first (see two posts above)? Buzzfanmom & BriarLori, your posts prove that you are two classy ladies.

 

[Funniebunny]

Why do some people spoil it for others. At the end of the day VMK is supposed to be a game about Disney. I know it isn't nice that some people choose to rip others off but this happens everyday in the real world to. I personally do not trade with people unless I know them. I have also given things away as gifts. If secret passwords are the way forward hopefully it will stop future problems but you will always get one who doesn't play fairly.
I really enjoy meeting new people on here and VMK and hope that doesn't stop in the future.