The DFTW Blues...

[Scrap_Vamp]

Jennifer, as a fellow Jen I wanted to send you some {{{{hugs}}}}.

We've been lucky overall to have a supportive family, although only immediate relatives are coming, which was what we had always planned. We did have a moment at the beginning of this year, however, as one of my SILs got pregnant and my brother moaned about us having a DFTW because it made their situation more complicated. Upshot is, they are not coming, which is sad, but we will still enjoy ourselves and, as lots of other people have said, that is the most important thing.

Oh, and we're pretty much having the bare minimum of things too! I loved the Escape package for the simplicity. At the end of the day, the people who really want to see you get married will be there, and will love it no matter what.

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

Reading your post brought back so many memories..... of stressing over the details

Now, 13 years later, I can't tell you what food we served, exactly what flowers we had, what the cake was filled with etc.... all of the memories I have are about the people who shared our day. My uncle who came across the country to be there, the dance I danced with my father, watching my mother bussel my dress.... most of all I remember my DH, who came to the alter with a huge knot on his head and the whispered "how did that happen!" conversation we had at the alter.... Well, we thought we were whispering

I look back at the pictures and wonder why on earth I just HAD to have that dress I'd pick something totally different now.

My point is; your wedding day is a reflection of who and where you are today. A celebration of your love and commitment to each other. As wonderful as the celebration is, it's the love that lasts a lifetime. And certainly not the buffet, so don't sweat the small stuff.

 

[disneynikon]

I know we are all saying basically the same thing but please please do NOT continue to stress yourself out! It's not worth it - you are doing this for YOU! Don't try to make everyone happy cause you just can't!

I am learning every day through my planning to make sacrifices where we can to fit in the things we can't - for example I am making my reception dinner optional (HDDR) with the stipulation that my guests are going to either use their own dining plan credits or pay OOP for their tickets....I also had my heart set on either a fireworks cruise or dessert party - but instead gave that up because we decided that it was more important to change our location to Wedding Pavillion (we saw a video done there and fell in love with it)....It's all about fitting in what you can and making it the best experience you can possibly have - WITHOUT breaking the bank!

I also made a kind of wish list for the extras that I can't afford and my oh so generous family (who are all just regular people - we are NOT rich by any means) each picked things they can help on (in lieu of buying us gifts for the wedding)...for instance my disney freak sister is paying for Mickey and Minnie to come, my other sister is paying for Randy Chapman....my mom is helping out on the honeymoon...etc...

My DFi is unemployed and in school right now and I am saving for all of this all on my salary...as well as supporting him through school - so I feel your pain budget wise...

BE HAPPY - you are about to enter into a nw phase in life! New house, new marriage - be excited regardless of how stressful the day-to-day stuff can be!

YOu have got to be kidding, right.
Come to my wedding, but pay for the reception..That is why you get wedding gifts.

 

[daisygirl902]

YOu have got to be kidding, right.
Come to my wedding, but pay for the reception..That is why you get wedding gifts.

Nope - not kidding - and I understand that some people may not agree...but as I stated we are living on one income, and I am saving for this dream wedding all on my own...my family has been great enough to pitch in but are also VERY understanding of my "optional reception" idea...I would rather try to save up the extra money to do a Wishes Cruise for the whole group after dinner, or maybe even a dessert party....however my family loves me and are totally non-judgemental so if the night ends after HDDR they will be happy with that as well....

As for the gifts - I had originally said NO GIFTS - however again my family are all disney fanatics and are so thrilled that I get to live my dream they wanted to contribute to those "little extras" that I would not be able to afford anyways...

Don't know why I felt the need to justify this to everyone, however I think that my choices work well for me AND my guests

 

[gladstoneganderfan]

I know we are all saying basically the same thing but please please do NOT continue to stress yourself out! It's not worth it - you are doing this for YOU! Don't try to make everyone happy cause you just can't!

I am learning every day through my planning to make sacrifices where we can to fit in the things we can't - for example I am making my reception dinner optional (HDDR) with the stipulation that my guests are going to either use their own dining plan credits or pay OOP for their tickets....I also had my heart set on either a fireworks cruise or dessert party - but instead gave that up because we decided that it was more important to change our location to Wedding Pavillion (we saw a video done there and fell in love with it)....It's all about fitting in what you can and making it the best experience you can possibly have - WITHOUT breaking the bank!

I also made a kind of wish list for the extras that I can't afford and my oh so generous family (who are all just regular people - we are NOT rich by any means) each picked things they can help on (in lieu of buying us gifts for the wedding)...for instance my disney freak sister is paying for Mickey and Minnie to come, my other sister is paying for Randy Chapman....my mom is helping out on the honeymoon...etc...

My DFi is unemployed and in school right now and I am saving for all of this all on my salary...as well as supporting him through school - so I feel your pain budget wise...

BE HAPPY - you are about to enter into a nw phase in life! New house, new marriage - be excited regardless of how stressful the day-to-day stuff can be!

Girl, you better be glad you are not from the South. People would never let you forget how tacky you are being. You really expect people to come from Canada, pay for their tickets into the parks, come to your wedding, help you pay for parts of it, and there isn't even punch & cake?

And you have a trip to WDW & a Disney cruise planned for right before your wedding? Oh wait, you're going to say that they are a gift, right? So, after your family is generous enough to help pay for a large portion of your wedding & 2 gift trips & you can't afford to buy them 1 dinner?


I would really rethink your plans. You don't have to justify anything to me or this board, but you did post this like it was a good idea.

 

[daisygirl902]

Girl, you better be glad you are not from the South. People would never let you forget how tacky you are being. You really expect people to come from Canada, pay for their tickets into the parks, come to your wedding, help you pay for parts of it, and there isn't even punch & cake?

And you have a trip to WDW & a Disney cruise planned for right before your wedding? Oh wait, you're going to say that they are a gift, right? So, after your family is generous enough to help pay for a large portion of your wedding & 2 gift trips & you can't afford to buy them 1 dinner?


I would really rethink your plans. You don't have to justify anything to me or this board, but you did post this like it was a good idea.

Wow- I thought judgments like this were saved for forums like the one on "the knot" - but apparently not...this will be my last reply as I think some folks have forgotten this thread was abut supporting another DisBride - and I do not want to take away from that as I understand she is going through some troubles!

However that being said this made me very glad for a few things:
a) I am glad I am not a "southern girl" if this is how they treat others...
b) I'm very happy with my decision as it fits with MY plans
c) I love that my family are all psyched that they are taking part in this with us, and none of them are horrified or appalled at this idea...

BTW - to add to one other point...one of the reasons that we can't actually afford to pay for everyones dinner is that for a few of the people who would otherwise not be able to make the trip (like my DFi's parents)...we are paying for them to attend...including the resort stay, dining plan AND park tickets....plus I'm quite sure my Escape package comes WITH the cake and punch...lol

So no matter how much you may have to say about this - we are all quite happy with the way it's going...

And back to the original poster...don't let people's judgments on your decisions affect how you feel about them...remember as I said, it's your day.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Girl, you better be glad you are not from the South. People would never let you forget how tacky you are being. You really expect people to come from Canada, pay for their tickets into the parks, come to your wedding, help you pay for parts of it, and there isn't even punch & cake?

And you have a trip to WDW & a Disney cruise planned for right before your wedding? Oh wait, you're going to say that they are a gift, right? So, after your family is generous enough to help pay for a large portion of your wedding & 2 gift trips & you can't afford to buy them 1 dinner?


I would really rethink your plans. You don't have to justify anything to me or this board, but you did post this like it was a good idea.

You're invited to my wedding, but you have to pay for your meal afterwards.

That wouldn't fly here.

 

[Elsha]

You're invited to my wedding, but you have to pay for your meal afterwards.

That wouldn't fly here.

Well according to her whether or not it would fly with either of your wedding's guests, her family is cool with it. So it's irrelevant.

People and families/friends are different. For the record...mine wouldn't care either.

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

Come and relax now
Put your troubles down
No need to bear the weight of your worries
Just let them all fall away



Little DMB for you!

 

[dallastxcpa]

Wow- I thought judgments like this were saved for forums like the one on "the knot" - but apparently not...this will be my last reply as I think some folks have forgotten this thread was abut supporting another DisBride - and I do not want to take away from that as I understand she is going through some troubles!

However that being said this made me very glad for a few things:
a) I am glad I am not a "southern girl" if this is how they treat others...
....plus I'm quite sure my Escape package comes WITH the cake and punch...lol

So no matter how much you may have to say about this - we are all quite happy with the way it's going...

And back to the original poster...don't let people's judgments on your decisions affect how you feel about them...remember as I said, it's your day.

Okay let me just say.... I don't know what part of the South the other poster was from but ... really. A true southern lady has manners and would never disparge another in public like this.

daisygirl902 - your plans sound lovely and I am so glad that you have a family that knows it's not about who paid for what, but about the moments we share that create memories that last a lifetime. You sound like a very strong woman and the HDDR should be an awesome reception.

 

[dallastxcpa]

Jennifer,

I wanted to say... Don't worry Dave and I were married in an Escape wedding in July 2003 (it was called an intimate wedding back then). Anyway my own Dad said to me "I don't understand why we have to go all the way to Florida" Well, the day of the wedding he met me outside the doors to the WP and couldn't stop talking the whole way down the aisle. He later apologized for giving me a hard time.

It will all come together beautifully and like other have said looking back 6 years later the small things just don't matter. The Trails End Buffet will be fun and depending on what time your wedding is you can catch the MK fireworks after.

On the note of people complaining about cost. Shame on them. My DS and his fiance are getting married in Cancun 10/3/09 and the cheapest room at the resort is $400/night. To me that is very steep, but I would never in a million years say anything to the couple.

By the way I love your short haircut on your PJ. Dave and I are arriving in WDW on 9/22 and if we happen to see you in the parks I will be sure and say a big ol Texas Hello.