The DDA Trouble Free Zone Part 4

[tink2020]

Who's still here?

I need some sanity! So Kyle and I are here in Ottawa (OH) at my in-laws. My MIL, Kyle and I were supposed to go to this bar tonight and see my BIL's band play, right? Well, something really legimate made me not feel comfortable going. I'm not going into it, but just know that it was valid. And I dont think i'm just being biased.

So I tell DH politely and aside from everyone, that I would rather he and MIL just go, others will be there, etc but please let me stay here. I don't mind, and it would make me most comfortable. No, he won't have it. If I'm not going, then he isn't either (valiant, huh? not really, at least not IMO after the rest of the events unfold ). So he tels MIL that we aren't going. None of us. I say no, I think they should go. It's not fair to troy (BIL) that none of us show up, please just go and i'll stay here. they won't have it.

so I go along, not thrilled about it to say the least. Well they won't shut up about it in the car, making me more uncomfortable. I decide that they will go, i will get back in the car and go home, and I will pick them up when tney are through. Really inconvient for me, since I wanted to stay home in the first place, but whatever. Better than going in, IMO at this time.

Mind you, I'm really tactful about all this. Well, DH gets "upset". This is not mad, how dare you think he's "mad". (That's the reaction I got anyway when I asked him how he had a right to be upset with me). So it turns into something uglier, while MIL walks about 3 feet away "to give us privacy" and watches/listens to our whole conversation.

So here I am, COMPLETELY put out having to drive home in sleet in a city where I don't know my way around in the daytime, let alone at night. I have to stay up and go BACK out and get them..... and yet I've been painted as all sorts of words that won't get through the filter. ***?!


I swear my DH is great. He's wonderful, I love him dearly, we aren't having problems, etc.

But WHAT IS IT ABOUT INLAWS?!?!??! That's what irks me the most. She wouldn't shut up about "if Jen's not going, nobody is" and he went along with it?! and then watching us argue? As if "advising us" on homes to buy wasn't enough.

Maybe we should have matched elsewhere.







Thanks for letting me vent. Now hopefully someone is here to keep me company and keep me from sitting here fuming. Am I totally wrong in this? It wouldn't be a first time I suppose. But it's got me reeling... going back and forth between being furious and wanting to cry. I just feel like I shouldn't have been put in the position to change everyone's plans in the first place.

 

[tink2020]

I love this but I need 4 Mickey Heads!!! I think on a white sweatshirt or t-shirt w/ red turtlenecks it would be perfect for MVMCP!!! Does anyone know if they have released the dates yet for MVMCP??? Is it always crowded or less crowded during the week? We went to MNSSHP last year and I really enjoyed it, but I am hearing that MVMCP is much more crowded.Thoughts???

I've never been to MNSSHP, so I can't compare. I can tell you about MVMCP crowds though, from my experience.

We went last year on December 16th. It Friday, which is "when the locals go". It was the last Friday at that, and I was told it would be wall to wall people, no room to breathe, miserable.

Well, it was our favorite night, and not just because of the atmosphere. There was really NOBODY there, IMO. Maybe it was just in comparison to what we were expeecting based on everyone's warnings. But we had no trouble getting prime seats for shows, whatever seats we wanted for the Wishes holiday special and the MVMCParade, no trouble getting free cookies and cocoa , etc. We didn't ride anything, but fastpass is not in use during the hard ticket events and even still, nothing we walked by had more than a 10 minute wait.

So I'm not sure if you'd be going for rides, atmosphere, etc, but I think it will be fine!

That being said, the weekdays are generally less crowded, from what others have (repeatedly) said. That and the earlier the party in the season.

IMO, you should DEFINITELY go if you are able... it was truly magical!

 

[weluvdisney]

Hey Jen;

I honestly do not know what the deal is w/ in-laws that brings out the worst in some husbands. My Dh acts like such a baby around his mom, it drives me crazy because this is SO not the person that I married!!! I feel like when we are w/ the in-laws he reverts back to being a child, he has to be reminded to do things for the kids that ordinarily would be a no-brainer at home-like he's waiting to see if mommy will these things for him!!! Don't get me started, I could go on and on and I really truly love my in-laws!!! Guess what though things only get worse when you have kids!!! I have heard that this is just w/ sons and I swear that I will never be like that, I don't know if it is a control thing or what. If you need to talk I'm here!!!

 

[marcij]

Jennifer -- I think you are right on! You should be allowed to bow out gracefully without a big stink being made. Hang in there!

 

[dumby]

Who's still here?

I need some sanity! So Kyle and I are here in Ottawa (OH) at my in-laws. My MIL, Kyle and I were supposed to go to this bar tonight and see my BIL's band play, right? Well, something really legimate made me not feel comfortable going. I'm not going into it, but just know that it was valid. And I dont think i'm just being biased.

So I tell DH politely and aside from everyone, that I would rather he and MIL just go, others will be there, etc but please let me stay here. I don't mind, and it would make me most comfortable. No, he won't have it. If I'm not going, then he isn't either (valiant, huh? not really, at least not IMO after the rest of the events unfold ). So he tels MIL that we aren't going. None of us. I say no, I think they should go. It's not fair to troy (BIL) that none of us show up, please just go and i'll stay here. they won't have it.

so I go along, not thrilled about it to say the least. Well they won't shut up about it in the car, making me more uncomfortable. I decide that they will go, i will get back in the car and go home, and I will pick them up when tney are through. Really inconvient for me, since I wanted to stay home in the first place, but whatever. Better than going in, IMO at this time.

Mind you, I'm really tactful about all this. Well, DH gets "upset". This is not mad, how dare you think he's "mad". (That's the reaction I got anyway when I asked him how he had a right to be upset with me). So it turns into something uglier, while MIL walks about 3 feet away "to give us privacy" and watches/listens to our whole conversation.

So here I am, COMPLETELY put out having to drive home in sleet in a city where I don't know my way around in the daytime, let alone at night. I have to stay up and go BACK out and get them..... and yet I've been painted as all sorts of words that won't get through the filter. ***?!


I swear my DH is great. He's wonderful, I love him dearly, we aren't having problems, etc.

But WHAT IS IT ABOUT INLAWS?!?!??! That's what irks me the most. She wouldn't shut up about "if Jen's not going, nobody is" and he went along with it?! and then watching us argue? As if "advising us" on homes to buy wasn't enough.

Maybe we should have matched elsewhere.

Thanks for letting me vent. Now hopefully someone is here to keep me company and keep me from sitting here fuming. Am I totally wrong in this? It wouldn't be a first time I suppose. But it's got me reeling... going back and forth between being furious and wanting to cry. I just feel like I shouldn't have been put in the position to change everyone's plans in the first place.

Jen,
I am here and go ahead and vent if you want. I am sure everything will work out just fine. From what you say your DH is a wonderful guy. I don't know what about inlaws brings the worst out in people but it does. Here is a and hope everything works out for you.

 

[tink2020]

Hey Jen;

I honestly do not know what the deal is w/ in-laws that brings out the worst in some husbands. My Dh acts like such a baby around his mom, it drives me crazy because this is SO not the person that I married!!! I feel like when we are w/ the in-laws he reverts back to being a child, he has to be reminded to do things for the kids that ordinarily would be a no-brainer at home-like he's waiting to see if mommy will these things for him!!! Don't get me started, I could go on and on and I really truly love my in-laws!!! Guess what though things only get worse when you have kids!!! I have heard that this is just w/ sons and I swear that I will never be like that, I don't know if it is a control thing or what. If you need to talk I'm here!!!

UGH! I don't get it. I swear my parents are never like this, so maybe it is boys. Well that, and they are TOTALLY different people (my family and his). But I understand about them not being the same person! Kyle doesn't revert so much as just become the biggest people pleaser on the planet. And that's SO not who he is normally. But I swear, he makes every sitaution between his mother and I an EPIC! We can be agreeing on something (because really, I do like her quite a bit most of the time), and there's still drama!




GRR.... .he just called. I started crying, explaining to him where I was coming from and how I felt it was really unfair to put me in the siatuation (again). He gets it now....

but I still have to go pick them up (after JUST freaking walking in the door) and sit the whole way home with them.

I'll be back. don't feel the need to stay up, but if you're here, I'd love to talk then too, because it's not like this big pink elephant in the room is going to go away

 

[Moonbeams]

But WHAT IS IT ABOUT INLAWS?!?!??! That's what irks me the most. She wouldn't shut up about "if Jen's not going, nobody is" and he went along with it?! and then watching us argue? As if "advising us" on homes to buy wasn't enough.

Jen -- I hear you loud and clear and feel your pain. We have implemented the three-day rule with DBF's parents. Three days is just enough time for a nice visit. Everyone leaves with the feeling that they wish we could stay longer. But if we do stay longer, like at Thanksgiving when we stayed 5 days, things fall apart.

I kept trying to organize everyone to go see a show (his parents live in Vegas). No one would make a decision. No one would say what they wanted to see. I would make several suggestions. But they would say either "I've seen that" or "I don't want to see that". Then his mom would get passive and say "see whatever you want, I live here, I can see a show anytime." Great, right?! Wrong. I would state what I wanted to see, but instead of that being it, his mother would start up with some show that no one but her wanted to see. It went around and around in a loop like that, with no decision, until I wanted to scream... which I did when we got to the casino where it was loud and I walked DBF away from his mother. He, of course, is the true Southern guy who loves his momma to death and can't see that she gets her way or else everyone is miserable. Guess which show we ended up seeing? No need to tell you we saw the one she wanted to see (need I repeat they LIVE there, so can see anything any time they want). Thankfully, they are in Vegas, we are in Dallas, and we only visit a few times a year for three days!

On a lighter note, would you mind taking your pretty design with the castle in pink light and the words about wishes coming true, and just delete the date. I don't want it dated for the future.

Thank you!!

Jen

 

[Steamboat Marti]

Marti - I know how that family feels - my husband died of a massive coronary almost 13 years ago. I sat numbly in my living room watching the paramedics work on him.

I just can't imagine your heart break. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can be more helpful to this family in the coming weeks??

 

[Brendita]

Here's a promotion code for 10% off @ DisneyShopping.Com
Good till 4/19/6

 

[tinker1bell]

Marti - I know how that family feels - my husband died of a massive coronary almost 13 years ago.

I cannot even imagine what that was like.

 

[weluvdisney]

UGH! I don't get it. I swear my parents are never like this, so maybe it is boys. Well that, and they are TOTALLY different people (my family and his). But I understand about them not being the same person! Kyle doesn't revert so much as just become the biggest people pleaser on the planet. And that's SO not who he is normally. But I swear, he makes every situation between his mother and I an EPIC! We can be agreeing on something (because really, I do like her quite a bit most of the time), and there's still drama!




GRR.... .he just called. I started crying, explaining to him where I was coming from and how I felt it was really unfair to put me in the situation (again). He gets it now....

but I still have to go pick them up (after JUST freaking walking in the door) and sit the whole way home with them.

I'll be back. don't feel the need to stay up, but if you're here, I'd love to talk then too, because it's not like this big pink elephant in the room is going to go away

Be careful driving!!!!

I think that you did the right thing by not backing down and taking a stand!!! I would have just given in and been miserable, I am the people pleaser in this relationship. Try to put on a happy face and then when you drive home and your by yourselves then try to talk once you've both had time to think about it. Tomorrow you'll feel much better I'm sure!! I know how embarrassing it is to have conflicts in front of other people, just try to put on a smile in front of the MIL so that she thinks everything is fine!!! Take Care !!!!

 

[Moonbeams]

I find this shirt hilarious. And while most of the shirts I'm making for WDW and DCL next week are child-like (Belle outline with castle for MK day, Mary Poppins' Cakes and Teas for tea at the Grand Floridian, DCL with Scuba Minnie & Mickey for boarding day, Shego for MGM day, etc), I kind of want one shirt that's Disney but playful in a more grown up way. Do you think anyone would find this offensive? Or is it just fun?

Thanks!

Jennifer

 

[tink2020]

So that was the most awkward car ride I can remember

Kyle was very sweet, both on the phone and when we got home. He was genuinely sorry, and apologized for not really thinking before causing a stink.

But that woman...................

Whatever. I found my way fine, we're home now, and I'm in bed. Hopefully we'll leave tomorrow before she's up or while she's at church.

Thanks again for your responses. It's nice to be reassured that I'm NOT the terrible person I was made out to be!

 

[MidNite]

Too bad...we will be there May 18-21.

Have you done Fort Wilderness before? I have always thought about it...but have never done it.

We've done FtW 2 times before. Both times in the cabins. The first one was when I was a teen the second was a few years. We LOVE it there. So convenient when you drive.

It's such a pain to hike to the room after a long day at the park when your muscles have had a chance to get rigid on the drive back with 3 kids in tow. Parking right by your room is such a plus.

The only drawback I know of was the fact that the pools aren't heated there. It was pretty cold when we tried to swim at night.

 

[tink2020]

Jen -- I hear you loud and clear and feel your pain. We have implemented the three-day rule with DBF's parents. Three days is just enough time for a nice visit. Everyone leaves with the feeling that they wish we could stay longer. But if we do stay longer, like at Thanksgiving when we stayed 5 days, things fall apart.

I kept trying to organize everyone to go see a show (his parents live in Vegas). No one would make a decision. No one would say what they wanted to see. I would make several suggestions. But they would say either "I've seen that" or "I don't want to see that". Then his mom would get passive and say "see whatever you want, I live here, I can see a show anytime." Great, right?! Wrong. I would state what I wanted to see, but instead of that being it, his mother would start up with some show that no one but her wanted to see. It went around and around in a loop like that, with no decision, until I wanted to scream... which I did when we got to the casino where it was loud and I walked DBF away from his mother. He, of course, is the true Southern guy who loves his momma to death and can't see that she gets her way or else everyone is miserable. Guess which show we ended up seeing? No need to tell you we saw the one she wanted to see (need I repeat they LIVE there, so can see anything any time they want). Thankfully, they are in Vegas, we are in Dallas, and we only visit a few times a year for three days!

On a lighter note, would you mind taking your pretty design with the castle in pink light and the words about wishes coming true, and just delete the date. I don't want it dated for the future.

Thank you!!

Jen

No problem! I'm not home right now (obviously) but I will do it when I get there. PM me your email address again and I'll be glad to send it!

ETA: too weird! I submitted this, and the screen popped up that you had PMed me.

 

[rosiejo]

Clare - I don't know if you can get this in the UK or not, but I always have good luck using Butter Flavored Crisco in cookies that call for butter. It has the same texture as butter (not oil like margarines have - more solid), and the flavor is excellent.

I've not heard of that one June - and I really struggle to find dairy free alternatives over here... I'll have a look for it though :yes:

 

[rosiejo]

Thanks for letting me vent. Now hopefully someone is here to keep me company and keep me from sitting here fuming. Am I totally wrong in this? It wouldn't be a first time I suppose. But it's got me reeling... going back and forth between being furious and wanting to cry. I just feel like I shouldn't have been put in the position to change everyone's plans in the first place.

Hope everything looks better in the light of a new day and that you and Kyle have "made up".

Parent's in law just have that affect on you sometimes, I struggle with mine from time to time even though they are great really.

Sending you that today is better

 

[tmfranlk]

I love this but I need 4 Mickey Heads!!! I think on a white sweatshirt or t-shirt w/ red turtlenecks it would be perfect for MVMCP!!! Does anyone know if they have released the dates yet for MVMCP??? Is it always crowded or less crowded during the week? We went to MNSSHP last year and I really enjoyed it, but I am hearing that MVMCP is much more crowded.Thoughts???

The official dates haven't been released, but www.touringplans.com has the anticipated dates listed on it's Best Days chart. I think they are often Tues, Thurs, Fri and Sun, but I could be wrong. Tues and Thurs are definitely the best days to go if you can. I don't know if MVMCP is really much more crowded than MNSSHP. I do know that on the two nights we went (a Sun and Thurs the first week of Dec) the crowds were not bad at all.

 

[PNO4TE]

Elin - We are waitlisted for BWV (studio) and I am keeping my fingers crossed that we get in there. If I remember correctly, you are going the same time we are? Is that correct? I got my airfare a few months back on United for 182, I think it was. Good luck with the airtran.

We are at the same time... more or less. I think we arrive later than you but leave to come home at the same time. Our problem is that DD27 works and lives in Richmond and DD19 goes to VCU there so we have to fly out of Richmond. We could possibly do Southwest out of Norfolk, but with time constraints, Richmond is really our best deal. So, I am going to be checking airfare a couple of times a day now, I think

 

[lovesdumbo]

Hi all! I had fallen behind here caring for my sick baby. She's had a fever off and on and a bit croupy and just miserable. And Mom's getting very little sleep. How can a 3 year old take up so much room. She was pushing me out of my bed again this morning so I thought I'd just get up and get caught up here.

Kate-LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the new designs!!!! I was going to ask for a Pooh one but you beat me to it. BUT...if you get bored I would love to see all Tigger and all Pooh ones.....

Cinderumbrella-love all your designs too.

Tammi-Hope you're feeling better. Have you thought about taking the strap off the Crocs? I had read on the big Croc thread that some kids put different color straps on their Crocs so I was thinking if you didn't like the look of the Niles with the staps up maybe you could just remove them???

Midnite-congrats on the trip! I really enjoyed my stay at FW cabins. So peacefull and quiet there.

Weluvdisney-Way to go Kyle!!!!

Kristine-I've stayed Poly cocierge 4 times. We really loved the convenience of concierge and I really love the Poly. It is just so magical at night. And it is so great that you can walk to TTC for direct monorail to Epcot. The new rooms are great too. I always let them make all my ADR's. Last trip they totally messed up but did end up still getting Illuminations cruise but not CRT. I would let them to ADR's for you.

Welovethemouse-I went to MVMCP in Dec 2001. We LOVED it but since it was relatively close to 9/11 there were no crowds at all. I really enjoyed the shows and parade and snow on Main St. But I went with a girlfriend so I was only buying 1 ticket. I understand how expensive it gets when you're buying for a whole family. I think you've got a great attitude about PW but have you thought about trying Pop? It is actually a bit cheaper since it has a different tax rate. I'm giving it a try in May. I'll be sure to post a review.

Steffy-hope you're on the mend! Enjoy all the planning!

Tinker1bell-hope your DS improves quickly and learns a lesson.

Well DS is up so I'm off again...