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I was going to read the other replies to you first so I wouldn't repeat, but this did it for me. I understand your feelings completely because I can tell we're a lot alike. But if you feel that the trip is that important then sometimes you have to forget about what others might think, as hard as that will be. You and John are his parents and if you feel he's better off going in the fall, then use the letter you're getting from (the therapist? - I forgot who it was) and do it. Make peace with your decision.
If you think you can't make peace, then what is it about the fall trip that would be better? Is it solely because that time of year would be better for Rees? Is it all the money you'd save with
free dining? Is it missing
MNSSHP? Sometimes the money saved isn't worth the worry, guilt and anxiety it might cause. Could you adjust your airline tickets and head down for the weekend and do MNSSHP? That way you soak up some of the Halloween atmosphere and free dining, but they won't miss much school. Then take your December trip?
I honestly wish I could be more help. I know we all do, but