The DDA Trouble Free Zone Part 2

[tink2020]

No, my oldest is in kindergarten and still loves going to school. Sledding is good for one day, then the sun ruins it.

Well that's true. I guess I never really wished for snow days until about middle school ..... when all my friends at other schools would call and rub it in!

You have a little while, still..... and it seems that ANY policy can change from year to year in schools!

 

[Eeyorecln]

Hey DDAs...... I could use a little pixie dust today, if you have some to spare

I'm looking over all this stuff that has to be done from March 16th - June 1st and I'm SO overwhelmed, it's not even funny.... and Kyle is out of town and can't calm me down.

What excited me for so long (Match Day, moving, buying a house, starting a family, etc) is REALLY stressing me out.... because it all has to happen so quickly. Someone, HELP! Tell me it's going to be ok even BEFORE residency's over.

We knew better than to plan our lives out.... as soon as you do that, you're thrown a curveball and I HATE curveballs. So we didn't.... we just had a general idea of the direction it was going, and that seemed like enough of a light at the end of this monstrous tunnel.

Now I've ran some numbers and talked with realtors in the places we are looking, and have spoken with employers and schools, etc..... and it is SO much that it has my head spinning.

On March 17th, we wake up after Match Day and the madness begins. Now just the stress of the Match is enough -- finding out where you live, looking for a place, etc in a couple quick months. But add to that grad school, etc...... and I don't know where to begin! If we want to buy a place.... and we're not looking for the house of our dreams, big enough for 3 kids, etc yet.... I'm talking a place that we dont have to deal with crappy landlords, that has a yard and allows dogs, and has a few rooms. And isn't falling apart, because goodness knows we won't have any spare time to deal with home improvements. But if we want that, I can't afford to do a Nurse Practitioner program yet. Which is fine, lots of people wait.... but I wanted this done before having kids, because I want to stay home with them if our situation allows.

So now I feel like we have to chose having a place to live or finishing school or having kids, but can't have more than one. And that's probably not the case, but I just don't even know where to begin right now........

Before anyone says otherwise, I realize that this is no bigger than most people handle. People put off going to school to have kids. People rent for a year before buying a house..... I'm not saying my problems are bigger than the next girl's...

I'm just having one of those days where the light at the end of the tunnel just escaped me again......




Thanks for listening. I feel like I'm alone here without Kyle around and just the dog staring at me crying like I'm nuts!

I can see how all of this can be overwhelming. I hope you feel better after match day.

 

[UP Disney]

Really?! Yikes! I bet your kids love that We NEVER got snow days, and rarely got delays..... and it wasn't for lack of snow!

It's amazing how different it is handled when you don't have the road equipment to handle it. We actually have to load the snow in dump trucks and haul it out of the downtowns in the UP.

 

[Tammi67]

OK DDA, I need a little advice. Actually, I need you to tell me that I am being a baby and to grow up!! Or not, you tell me what you think:

As you know, we are going to WDW in December. I have always wanted to be there at Christmastime and after some prodding, DH agreed to go. His parents are coming too. Not sure what I think about that since I am an obsessive planner and she is too (but in a whole different way). Now, the inlaws have invited their daughter and her family to come with. First thing she wants to do is change the dates to make it more convenient for her. Also, they will need to stay at a value since the trip is going to be a real budget crunch for them. MIL thinks we should all stay at the same hotel (Yes this is the same MIL who has reservations about staying at mod and not a deluxe and now she wants to go value!).

DH will never rock the boat where MIL is concerned so I am on my own here.

I am losing some of my excitement over the trip.... am I being a baby or do I have the right to feel a little deflated?

You have every right to be dreading this. If you are the one doing all the planning and DH won't say anything, then you need to step up to the plate and speak. Make your plans...hotel, parks, where you want to eat, etc. Share them w/ MIL and SIL. Let them know these are your plans and that you will be making your ADRs accordingly. Then I would say if you want to eat with us, just let me know and I will include everyone in the ADR. Otherwise, you are on your own. But this is what WE are doing. You are more than welcome to join us if you want. But we are not changing our plans.

I know....easier said than done. Good luck.

 

[Tammi67]

It's amazing how different it is handled when you don't have the road equipment to handle it. We actually have to load the snow in dump trucks and haul it out of the downtowns in the UP.

We get maybe 3 good snowfalls a year. This area is soooo populated and we have so many side roads that there would never be enough equipment or personnel to clear them all. VDOT actually has to contract out to get the work done.

 

[tink2020]

It's amazing how different it is handled when you don't have the road equipment to handle it. We actually have to load the snow in dump trucks and haul it out of the downtowns in the UP.

This is so true. And it goes to both ends of the spectrum. My DH's hometown closed for DAYS at a time with a dusting, as he wasn't even in any city limits. Yet when we were in Minneapolis (and this was echoed by family there), they got about 6 inches of snow over night and you'd never tell looking at the roads!

I can't imagine how crazy it is on that rare occasion that it snows in the south!

 

[Princess Nancy]

This is so true. And it goes to both ends of the spectrum. My DH's hometown closed for DAYS at a time with a dusting, as he wasn't even in any city limits. Yet when we were in Minneapolis (and this was echoed by family there), they got about 6 inches of snow over night and you'd never tell looking at the roads!

I can't imagine how crazy it is on that rare occasion that it snows in the south!

I grew up in Cincinnati. Used to that it snows then melts cycle. We just spent 3 years in Detroit. Never saw the grass from January til April! NEVER cancelled school. TOns of snow, can't see the street, freezing cold---never cancelled or delayed school.

I live in South Carolina now. If the weatherman mentions a dusting, they shut it all down. My DH who is an Eye Dr. will to even go to work, because noone will brave the roads!
They have no equipment to deal with ice or snow here. Once they got an ice storm and closed the airport for 2 days! I use the the term storm loosely!

 

[Tinkaroo]

Cinderumbrella I'm so with Marti!! We did that in Oct too - and just like Marti I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!! and just like Marti "everyone seemed to get what they wanted, except us!!" (and so dh is taking us again, just us our family, dd, dh and me!! )

So like Marti says, Go with your heart - tell them you are not switiching dates, or resorts - that will give everyone some space - make sure you "meet up" with everyone...

and somehow even if dh doesnt want to cause waves with his mom - make sure he doesnt want to cause waves with YOU!! Meaning, can he agree with you on some things? (whatever is the most important)

For me, I wish I hadnt had hopes or dreams of lower crowds, so that the lines in FP were freaking me out, thinking I was wasting their time, and they werent happy with ME!! You have to get there at park opening in order to avoid lines in Fantasyland imho!!

Good Luck!!

Don't mean to pile on, but I say AMEN!! to all those that said do the best for your family, and even if the big group thing does work out, still make time just for your individual unit over the duration of the trip.

I invited my parents and my IL's to join us for the final 3 days of our trip last April as a surprise to my DH for his b-day - we did the IllumiNations cruise, etc. While it's something we won't forget and have great memories from, I think we also learned a lot about how/if we would do another trip like this again. I think the problem with large family trips is that everyone feels the pressure to do EVERYTHING together - IMO, in that instance, everyone loses out. It's okay to not vacation as a family, it's okay if vacationing as a family to break off and do things as they interest you, etc.

I think if everyone has the same expectations and talks it out beforehand, then you'll all be a lot happier - if you even end up going at the same time.

 

[Eeyorecln]

OK DDA, I need a little advice. Actually, I need you to tell me that I am being a baby and to grow up!! Or not, you tell me what you think:

As you know, we are going to WDW in December. I have always wanted to be there at Christmastime and after some prodding, DH agreed to go. His parents are coming too. Not sure what I think about that since I am an obsessive planner and she is too (but in a whole different way). Now, the inlaws have invited their daughter and her family to come with. First thing she wants to do is change the dates to make it more convenient for her. Also, they will need to stay at a value since the trip is going to be a real budget crunch for them. MIL thinks we should all stay at the same hotel (Yes this is the same MIL who has reservations about staying at mod and not a deluxe and now she wants to go value!).

DH will never rock the boat where MIL is concerned so I am on my own here.

I am losing some of my excitement over the trip.... am I being a baby or do I have the right to feel a little deflated?

I wouldn't change my hotel, if I wanted to stay at a certain hotel I would. As for dates, if they work for you than you can be flexible on that. I would set expectations on what your family is doing. For instance, are there certain restaurants you want to go to, they can meet you after if it's not in their budget or plans. This is your vacation and you have a right to enjoy it.
Set boundaries on things that are important to you like your hotel etc. We're having the same problem with our 10th anniversary trip so PM me if you want and I can share some suggestions on how we're handling it. Remember, you don't have to spend all your time together as a group. Just having some alone time your family only might help. Good luck.

 

[UP Disney]

Just remember the mantra, "I can do anything for 15 minutes." And also remember, we're here for you for venting to, screaming at, etc. Whatever.

This mantra has helped me many times in the last year. I was a very organized kid at home & college and the first couple of years of marriage. Then I had my kids (oldest is 20). I just could never keep up at home. Mind you, I'm complimented at work for how organized I am and that I always know where everything is. I am very involved in Girl Scouts (at one point I had 4 troops, was a council trainer, volunteer regional area manager, summer camp counselor and more). I got the same compliments on my organization skills. However, my home was always a disaster. I've been trying since I just before I turned 40 to get everything organized at home so I would know where it is (I'm now 44). I was totally overwhelmed.

I finally got serious about it about 6 months ago. I had about 15 boxes with stuff just thrown in. Kids toys, kids clothes, paperwork, jewelry, craft supplies, etc. All mixed together. When I needed something, I had to buy it because I couldn't find anything in the boxes. I started using the "I can do anything for 15 minutes" mantra. I have all but one box totally taken care of using it. Remember this has been accumulating for 20 years and I just could never get through it. At this same time, I've been travelling to Lansing every two weeks for 3 or 4 days each trip (15 hour round trip drive) for work. I've taken car loads of stuff to the Goodwill store. I have now started using it in every area of my life when I start to feel overwhelmed.

You can accomplish anything with this mantra. Take time for yourself and try to clear your mind of all your worries. Use the timer when you are ready to work on the issues. It really works (I got this from flylady as well).

 

[Eeyorecln]

We just completed a family trip in October - and I will tell you this - I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!! Everybody seemed to get what they wanted except us! You can not please everyone so I would go with trying to please your family. I've done it with my family and DH's family and they were the same. We felt that we didn't have the vacation that WE wanted or needed as a family. Go with your heart - there are pleasant ways to tell others that this vacation is for your family if it comes to that. But you certainly aren't a baby! If you aren't enjoying the prospect of planning this trip now, I don't think it will get any better. Please do what is best for you and your family.

That is so true. Remember for the amount of money this is costing you, you want to enjoy it.

 

[Eeyorecln]

Hi, Jennifer. Thanks for asking. The search is still very slow. There are so few of these specific jobs open in Dallas, and since we aren't willing to move, we just have to sit tight. We are both still very thankful that he does have a job and can look around for the right fit. He had two great leads in early December. One he didn't get. The other search has been delayed because the interviewer was in an accident. We think he will have an interview for that one in the next couple of weeks. He got a call about another one last week, and thinks it sounds exciting.

You know, his work doesn't even acknowledge birthday's? And they are a small company. I called a bakery and ordered a birthday cake to be sent out there last Friday (his birthday was Saturday) and I think they had no clue it was even his birthday. They were happy to eat the cake, though. I guess that was good for me, as it didn't de-rail my diet....

Thanks again for being supportive!

That's surprising for a smal company. My DH's company is small, also. His 2 other partners and 5 employees and they take their birthday off as a holiday, part of their vacation time.

 

[disney newbie]

OK..so somehow (and I am not sure how) I am in charge of doing the program for our Church's annual luncheon...this years' theme "The Four Seasons" I need to come up with the cover design. Do any of you have any ideas??? I toyed around with 4 separate images (1 for each season) but it looks choppy. Any help would be appreciated...

Kristine

Kristine,
I think it would be neat if you could super-impose a picture of your church into different season backgrounds. I personally can't do that but all the other talented ones here probably cou.d

 

[monicatb]

I didn't put anything in the middle either! I just ironed on my chopping board... I wonder if mine are scorched I haven't really looked!

I noticed the yellow stains after I washed them for the first time. Maybe I burned the shirts. But it's weird that they didn't look stained when we wore them during our trip.

Monica

 

[Eeyorecln]

That little dust cover would close schools for 4 days here!

We moved here from IA. We both grew up with blizzards, ice storms and walking to school in deep snow. The small rural towns only bussed country not town kids. The first time it snowed here (it was only a couple inches) everything was shutting down. DH and I were like what? this isn't a storm it's just a little powder. Of course, they rarely get snow out here and I actually miss it. My DH thinks I'm nuts. I just loved watching the world become all white and playing in it is still fun no matter how old I get. I've thought about moving back to the midwest just for that.

 

[UP Disney]

We moved here from IA. We both grew up with blizzards, ice storms and walking to school in deep snow. The small rural towns only bussed country not town kids. The first time it snowed here (it was only a couple inches) everything was shutting down. DH and I were like what? this isn't a storm it's just a little powder. Of course, they rarely get snow out here and I actually miss it. My DH thinks I'm nuts. I just loved watching the world become all white and playing in it is still fun no matter how old I get. I've thought about moving back to the midwest just for that.

I love it for the first couple of months every winter. However, by the end of February, I'm ready for spring. So we go to Disney for some warmth the first week of March. It starts snowing in November (very rarely October) and ends sometime in April or May (very rarely June).

 

[mommykds]

Kate & Nancy. So sorry to hear about your Grandmother.

 

[julia & nicks mom]

Thank you to everyone for your prayers and concerns

I have had a long day - thank goodness my Dh has been a saint and even cooked me a FABULOUS dinner tonight

today was hard - my dad had to call all of his aunts and uncles and of course had to tell what happened a million times -

I tried to call the people I could - doctors, business things etc. and figure out hotel arrangements and travel plans.

I don't feel like I did much but my mom and dad seemed very appreciative

My mom was able to get home from out of town last night at 3:30 in the morning and went with my dad and I to the funeral home this morning. we started with a stop at my grandma's and that was very strange and difficult on all of us

then we went to the funeral home and got to see my grandma - it was the first time in my life I really believed that someone actually looked better dead than when they were alive - she looked at peace and that was comforting to me and my parents

I am wipted out but wanted to let you all know how much your support has meant to me

 

[julia & nicks mom]

Tink2020 - my DH used to work for a local homebuilder - we both say now that our biggest regret was renting when we first got married - but we nor our wallets was ready for a house payment - in hindsight - we should have bought a condo and then had some equity in that

merging my advice with Nancy's - I would buy a condo - when she says she never saw her DH - she is NOT kidding

if you buy a condo - you will not have the yardwork to worry about but you will still be building equity- and I would look for a condo with close proximity of the hospital - so that kyle is home as ofetn as possible

 

[tink2020]

Thank you to everyone for your prayers and concerns

I have had a long day - thank goodness my Dh has been a saint and even cooked me a FABULOUS dinner tonight

today was hard - my dad had to call all of his aunts and uncles and of course had to tell what happened a million times -

I tried to call the people I could - doctors, business things etc. and figure out hotel arrangements and travel plans.

I don't feel like I did much but my mom and dad seemed very appreciative

My mom was able to get home from out of town last night at 3:30 in the morning and went with my dad and I to the funeral home this morning. we started with a stop at my grandma's and that was very strange and difficult on all of us

then we went to the funeral home and got to see my grandma - it was the first time in my life I really believed that someone actually looked better dead than when they were alive - she looked at peace and that was comforting to me and my parents

I am wipted out but wanted to let you all know how much your support has meant to me

I'm sure what you did was MORE than helpful to your family.... thanks for checking in, and continue to keep us posted