The Chronicles of Team Manic: A Trip Report 12 Years in the Making! PHOTOS ADDED 6-15

[Starwater]

"Well, the Nemo ride was, in my estimation, the worst ride in Disney World. The digital imposition of cartoon fish within the tanks of real fish was very cool, but the rest of the ride seemed carelessly put together and short of what we had to come to expect from Disney."

I completely agree.
I was really disappointed by it, too. After all the hype!

Oh, and this past trip, Fast Track broke down both of the times we were in line it and once when we were on it. What is up with that...? My guess is that there's something fundamentally messed-up with that ride and all they're currently doing are applying band-aid fixes over and over.

That said, everything else is still awesome. Of course.

 

[N10CJT]

"Well, the Nemo ride was, in my estimation, the worst ride in Disney World. The digital imposition of cartoon fish within the tanks of real fish was very cool, but the rest of the ride seemed carelessly put together and short of what we had to come to expect from Disney."

I completely agree.
I was really disappointed by it, too. After all the hype!

Oh, and this past trip, Fast Track broke down both of the times we were in line it and once when we were on it. What is up with that...? My guess is that there's something fundamentally messed-up with that ride and all they're currently doing are applying band-aid fixes over and over.

That said, everything else is still awesome. Of course.

Yeah, a lot of people seem to have similar experiences with Test Track. When you were on it and it broke down, did they have you get off and walk out of the ride? It would suck to have the ride break down, but I've always thought it'd be fun to walk through a lot of Disney's rides. Well, except Everest..... walking down the staircase next to that ascent would be terrifying!

Also glad to see I'm not alone on Nemo.....

Thanks for reading my report!

 

[N10CJT]

Out of the morass of the end term, here's the next installment!

 

[N10CJT]

Our weekend in Disney World began auspiciously enough. My brother had to leave early once more for the convention hall, and my girlfriend and I again had the room to ourselves for at least part of the morning.

Eventually, we called my mother to invite her to breakfast with us. Jen really wanted to try Spoodles, as she had heard that the breakfast there was very good, so off we went to the Boardwalk.

I noticed a strange Disney phenomenon that morning. We were having a late breakfast, and as such the restaurant was nowhere near full, and yet we were still given a buzzer and asked to wait a few minutes. Why they do this is beyond my understanding.... perhaps there is something of the automaton in cast members– they are trained to handle hellish crowds, and have difficulty operating when the world isn’t imploding around them as heathenous swarms of tourists demand coffee and protein for their day of hard marching and toddler chasing. In this way, maybe they’re like nuclear silo operators, always performing their duties with the a full seriousness, never knowing if the Reds were actually lobbing peace bombs at them or if it was just a test. Who knows.

In any case, breakfast was good. Really, solidly, um, good. I thought for a serious breakfast place, the menu was rather limited and my mother didn’t help matters by repeatedly reminding me of the fact that the restaurant once had an amazing buffet, but besides my negative reaction to sausage patties instead of plump sausage (that’s an odd choice that’s too much like something McDonalds does for my liking), the food was tasty. My girlfriend really enjoyed her frittata, so I guess that all in all, it’s a worthwhile place.

Still, I could tell that my mother was in a bad mood right away. I don’t know if it was a function of my father driving her nuts the night before or if it was just one of those days, all too well known to me, where she decides to be angry at everything she possibly can or what, she was something less than perfectly pleasant. I knew it wasn’t an ideal day to hang around her when she began laying bear to my girlfriend her feelings about my sister-in-law, a personal issue so complex and yet so intimidatingly stupid that it would make for a wildly entertaining story itself, but that is, well, personal and not for public airing. In any case, this mood would manifest later in the day, and would be one more salvo that made us aware of the consolidated power of the soon the be named Team Fun.

After breakfast, we were once more told that we were stupid to plan a trip to the Animal Kingdom that day. My brother had told us we’d have no fun there the night before, and now my mother attempted to convince us that the crowds would be maddening, the park disappointing, and the trip over there impossibly long..... at least an hour.

But as to the first complaint, Jen and I didn’t much care..... if the crowds were terrible, we’d spend our time on the animal trails; if they were insane, we’d leave. No big deal. And as to the latter two, I suspected that she was speaking from a position of personal bias that was more determined by her disdain for a new park that disrupted her carefully established Disney comfort zone by introducing something new that could not be arbitrarily ignored in order to maintain a carefully worked out agenda of park visits, shopping excursions and dining choices. I knew this was behind her antipathy for the park as early as August, when it took a persistent campaign of information, menu recitals, reviews, photographs, and finally a declaration that Jen and I were eating there regardless of what she did to get her to concede to a reservation at Jiko. And even then she refused to make the reservation herself (I called to do it), and up until about an hour before the actual dinner, we would be unsure that my parents would actually show up to join us for their first trip ever to the Animal Kingdom Lodge. This is something that I have learned to deal with, and frankly, it is a neurosis whose genetic inheritance I am constantly fighting off by succumbing to it only on a local scale (an unusual affinity for specific parking spots, that sort of thing) so as to completely ignore it on the more important issues (particularly travel). As far as my mother and my father are concerned, I can spot it almost instantly, and I can filter and analyze information accordingly.

The truth was, the Animal Kingdom was to prove fantastic, skyrocketing from a complete unknown to a position as close to the top of my hierarchy of parks as it possibly could upon an initial two visits. Honestly, though the park is definitely flawed in certain ways (to be discussed as I move my memory back through it), it’s my opinion that its concept and general design is a work of genius, and because of this, the possibilities for expansion and re-creation are proverbially limitless in a way that even the Magic Kingdom can’t approach. As a result, I’m fascinated to see what is done with the park in the future.

But before we were able to go there, the seeds of our future destruction needed to be sowed.

That Saturday happened to be my sister’s birthday, and she and her family had an evening dinner reservation on the coast. Still, she and my niece wanted to come to Disney for part of the day, after which time they would head back for the night. I asked my mother what their plans were precisely so that we could plan to meet up with them if things broke right, and was given a veritable bounty of information. When were they coming? Who knows. What time are their reservations? Your guess is as good as mine. What is it they want to do at Disney? Beats me! Good, I’m glad we’ve sorted all that out!

Now, repeatedly during the run-up to the trip, my mother had told us to not worry about anyone else, and to do our own thing and meet up with them when it was convenient. I knew better, but knowing better doesn’t mean I’m going to concern myself too fully with figuring out just when it was okay to do our own thing and when it wasn’t, and frankly, I was not going to allow one unreadable woman’s moment-to-moment interpretation of what was and wasn’t acceptable autonomy to ruin too much of my trip with another woman. So with the detailed plan of my sister and niece well considered, I told my mother that we were sticking to our plan to go to the Animal Kingdom, that we could be reached via cell phone once my sister arrived, and that we would figure out what to do at that point. What I didn’t know was that my mother really wanted us not to go to Animal Kingdom but to instead hang out with her all day doing nothing until my sister released the handcuffs by showing up at God knows what time (she would never express this explicitly, but it was pretty clear later on), and to then conform to the desires of two people that live an hour’s drive from Disney World instead of that infinitely shorter 3 hours by plane that we do. So mom, are you sure you don’t want to come with us? No, that’s okay, have a good time. Ugh. Pro Bowl selection from Team Fun.....

So off we went, and about 20 minutes later..... yes, that’s 40 minutes shorter than an hour, for all of you who were wondering..... we arrived at the Animal Kingdom.

And yes, it was very crowded. Though I do believe that much of the perception of crowds at this park are due to the narrowness of the paths..... since there isn’t as much space to move past people as there is in the Magic Kingdom and EPCOT, it seems at times that there are more people there than there ever are at the other parks. But I think that one of the wonderful things about this park is that crowds really need to be extraordinarily huge to affect a visit in profound and unavoidable ways for anyone who knows anything about the use of FastPasses. And since by then I was getting the hang of them, we didn’t have many problems all day. In fact, we were only detracted from doing the Conservation Station and It’s Tough to be a Bug because of time constraints (we would get to experience them on Wednesday), the Tiger trek because we decided it would be a nicer experience when there weren’t as many people in the park, the Nemo show because we had absolutely no interest in watching people in tights wielding papier-mache fish, Flights of Wonder because I’m an idiot and didn’t look into show times, and Everest because.... well, that’s part of the big story......

In fact, things went pretty smoothly, particularly considering that I didn’t really spend enough time investigating the layout of the park before we arrived (I have a good sense of direction, though, and quickly had things worked out). The first thing we did was spend some time in the Oasis exhibits, which contain some very interesting animals that thousands of people completely miss as they fly by in a race to queue for the “attractions” of the park (exotic animals being nothing like an attraction). I particularly like how the birds fly from section to section.... it really creates a feeling of being in a different sort of park, where humans and their human endeavors coincide with animals and theirs. I loved it.

After some time there, we, well, walked into the park, then turned left. Yeah, that pretty much describes it. There is that revelatory moment of seeing the tree, which is very impressive, and of looking out over the lake to Everest, but really, we just walked straight and turned left.

Turns out that was a good choice. We walked through Harrambe, never expecting to get anywhere near the Kilimanjaro Safari ride, but in fact the FastPass return was for the not so distant future. We secured a couple, then headed into the Pangani Forest trail.....

Which is, in a word, amazing. The Colobus Monkeys are gorgeous, to begin with. I love their fur, and their tails always seem to flow in majestic ways, even when it’s only to hang off of an elevated plank while they’re sleeping in a pile. The Meerkats are a crowd favorite, but there are also majestic cranes behind them that are magnificent. The aviary is full of beautiful birds, and the fish exhibits are well designed to illustrate the wonderful variety of shapes and colors of their residents. We didn’t see any hippopotamuses on this day, but one of my favorite moments of the trip was to occur the following Wednesday.

And the gorillas were spectacular. These animals are some of my favorite creatures in the world, and it was stunning to watch some of them up close. They are huge and obviously powerful, but there’s a real gentleness that you can see in them, and I’m so happy that Disney has designed a large and beautiful exhibit for them. I can’t say that they wouldn’t be happier in the wild, but considering what happens to a lot of gorillas in the Congo, for instance, I’m not altogether convinced that they’re better off there. Regardless, they seem totally comfortable being in sight of people, and for some of them, it felt like they were enjoying sitting on their version of armchairs, chomping some snacks and allowing the idiot humans to entertain them. We were witness, too, to one of the funniest scenes of the day, as one of the silverbacks really hammed it up, putting his green feeding dish on his head like a hat and wandering the length of the exhibit. It was hilarious. I loved every second of our time there, and on Wednesday, I would linger for some time in the very same exhibit.

My only criticism of the trail was in the way they allowed children to race to and fro, screaming and whacking into things. Particularly in the shed with the frogs and tarantulas and snakes, some of the animals seemed terrified by the raucous state of the crowd, and I felt bad for them. I don’t really know if there is a solution for this, but it’s worth mentioning because at times, it seemed like there wasn’t enough oversight or control to show the proper respect to the animals.

Well, after we tore ourselves from Pangani, we still had some time before our FastPasses could be redeemed for the safari, so we decided to walk across the park to see if we could get FastPasses for Everest. Well, when we got there, the return times were for much later in the day, and as we had dinner reservations at the Yachtsman Steakhouse at 7.00, we didn’t want to push things. So instead we headed to Dinoland USA and got FastPasses for Dinosaur, then headed back across the park to meet our appointment with the safari.

Kilimanjaro Safaris is a great attraction, to be sure, though I wish they’d slow down a bit. But that’s selfishness.... I’m well aware of the crowd flow issues associated with the ride. For this visit, my girlfriend sat on the end of the row snapping pictures, while I took in the ride sans photographic equipment (more or less the modus operandi of the trip in general). It’s superfluous to list all of the animals on the ride, but some of the highlights of this particular visit were the crocodiles, which are very impressive in their sheer numbers, a decent view of the elephants, a clear sight of some gorgeous white rhinos, and a rare glimpse of the hippos out of the water sunning themselves on the shore. Unfortunately, we could not see any of the Cheetahs, and the lions were..... get ready for this..... asleep! Oh well, they would definitely make up for that on Wednesday, so I can’t complain. The only downside to the trip, in my opinion, was the ending bit about the poachers. I get the concept and definitely see this as the flagship attraction representing the interplay of zoological center and fantasy theme park, but here’s the thing.... after seeing real, breathing elephants out on the savannah, it’s hard to get into a fake storyline that climaxes with a look at a fake elephant in a fake jeep. It’s sort of weird to feel like the real ride is over before the part of the ride that the story is building towards enters its final phase. But that’s a minor concern. All in all, we had a wonderful time.

Hippos (On the Safari):

And some flamingos for color:

After exiting the safari, we walked over to Kali River Rapids to get FastPasses for that ride, then started towards Dinosaur, passing Everest to see if we might be able to walk on in the interval. No such luck.... though the wait time was relatively low at 40 minutes, we felt like we’d have more time to check it out later. Instead, we spent a few minutes watching the trains drop down that steep slope, which is fun in itself.

During that time, my mother called. My sister and my niece had arrived, and my mother told my girlfriend that my niece wanted to go swimming back at the resort. My girlfriend sniffed out the inevitable trouble ahead, and quickly passed off the phone to me. I told my mother that we had FastPasses for Dinosaur and Kali River Rapids, and that we’d be come by after that. Well, that started things. She started to huff, and she re-iterated that my niece was eating french fries and after that wanted to go in the pool. I told her that if my niece would wait a bit, we’d be right there. By now she was angry, and she gave me a terse “FINE” and hung up. My mother hung up on me!

Stop having fun and come do what I want you to do. I know I said that you guys shouldn’t worry about me and should do your thing, but obviously I didn’t mean that. I know you asked me if I wanted to come along to Animal Kingdom today and that I said that I didn’t want to, but what I really was saying was that you should stay with me and do nothing all day..... then you would have been here to address the whims of your family. Oh yeah, and before I forget, there’s something I’m not telling you right now that will really piss you off in a couple hours, but believe me, your non-compliance in these matters invited this deception.....

(I’ll explain in a bit.)

Well anyway, I was not about to drop everything and hurry back, leastways because I wasn’t sure if we’d have another chance to go on these rides (I had no idea about their lack of popularity). So on to Dinosaur.....

Before I get to the Dinosaur ride, though, I want to say that Dino-Rama has gotten a bad rap that is, in my opinion, vastly unwarranted. I love the concept for the same reason that I love the Muppet Show: its brilliant satire on American popular culture. Americans are so dinosaur crazy that they’re everywhere.... the Museum of Natural History and the like (even Skidmore College has its own dinosaur bones!), but more significantly, in film puppetry and CGI, in cartoons mining rock quarries, on television as upbeat singing purple monstrosities.... everywhere– it’s like dino porn. The way I see it, Dino-Rama is making fun of all of this, and in a brilliant fashion. It’s such an absurd, over the top scene of absurdly humanized dinosaurs in all variety of absurdly human activities, set within an almost seedy, plopped-on-the-asphalt county fair that it serves as a playful reminder of the insane position of dinosaurs in the American consciousness and in its popular culture. Even the name is brilliant..... Dino-Rama.... the corniest, most generic suffix for anything over-the-top American, run by Chester and Hester, because, after all, anything kitschy in American popular culture has to have characters with rhyming names. Pure genius.

Unfortunately, my girlfriend is a giant wuss who “doesn’t do spinning,” so we never got a chance to ride the Primeval Whirl.

But speaking of under-rated attractions, Dinosaur definitely qualifies. Yes, the corporate sponsorship is more annoying here than on any ride we experienced (at least at Test Track you can just walk past the cars). If I had to hear “Brought to you by a generous grant from the McDonald’s Corporation” one more time, I was going to go on a spree. (Brought to you by the McDonald’s Corporation, in exchange for franchising rights within the parks, which we will exploit with kitschy restaurant titles that will make more appealing through a guise of difference our artery-clogging obesity mobilizers.) But the ride is great. We used our FastPasses but didn’t need them at all, and we were a bit nervous about what lay before us, but it turns out that people are missing out. It’s stupid, sure, and the concept is a bit trite (let’s cool it on the time-traveling machines already), but we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, particularly as we were blinded by the flash and when the massive dinosaur attempted to eat us, the latter of which, I am delighted to say, scared the hell out of girlfriend (twice, no less.... she had the same reaction the following Wednesday). Her photo capture was hilarious!

After leaving Dinosaur and being subjected to just a few more McDonald’s promotions (because there weren’t enough of them inside the attraction), we headed back to Asia to ride Kali River Rapids. Once more we were shown that our FastPasses were superfluous, as we essentially walked right on. And once more, we loved what others apparently don’t. I think the ride is too short, absolutely, and there’s only the one serious drop, but regardless, it’s so much fun. We shared a boat with a Hispanic family comprised of a slightly developmentally disabled adult, a few fun-loving adults, and a senior lady who repeatedly declared her desire to not get wet. Well, you can see where this was going..... every time water entered the boat, there were screams of delight and giggles and general merriment, and on the big drop, obviously the elder senora got it the worst, enduring a cascade of water directly upon her. The combination of the ride and the company we shared it with made for one of the best moments of the day.

And I do want to briefly note my feeling that this is an important feature of Disney World. So often a ride, or even a bus or monorail ride, will be far more enjoyable with the proper company. We experienced this on the first night on Splash Mountain, it was perhaps best exemplified on Kali River Rapids, and it would happen again during the rest of the trip. No one wants crowds, but sometimes the right crowd is very desirable!

The monkey exhibit outside of the rapids is also great fun. Both times we were there, the monkeys were very active and playful, and we really enjoyed watching them. Jen even got a photograph of a young monkey traversing a rope as he moved towards his mother.... it’s a great shot, with the monkey dangling below the rope, and would only be outdone by my photograph of the lion the following Wednesday.

After leaving the monkeys to their fun, it was a little past 3.30, and as we didn’t want to attempt to push through the entirety of the parade route to leave the park, we decided to bypass it by going through Dino-Rama and Discovery Island. And so, as we walked past Everest, we were handed a cruel joke in the form of a 20 minute wait time. I really, really wanted to go on it, but Jen and I collectively decided that riding another ride in addition to the ones we told my mother we planned to was not a good idea, particularly since we could not be sure that a 20 minute wait time really meant a 20 minute wait. Okay, so Jen convinced me.... it’s fair to say that she is WAY more frightened of my mother than I am. And so we left Everest behind....

..... a decision that I was soon to regret.......

Well, leaving the park wasn’t too difficult. We had to cut through a store in order to bypass a section of the parade, but other than that, pretty smooth. The ride home, however...... well that’s a different story. By which I mean a hilarious story......

I really believe that the worst part of the Animal Kingdom is the bus terminal. It is, in a word, chaotic. And for us, staying at the Beach Club, it was particularly maddening. For some unknown reason, there is one..... O.N.E...... bus for the Beach Club, the Yacht Club, the Boardwalk, the Swan, and the Dolphin. Is it any wonder that from the time we arrived to the time the bus finally showed, there was a line at our terminal that exceeded any of the others? Well anyway, when the bus finally showed, we were delayed by the loading of a handicapped person, a task that the bus driver only seemed half-competent in. Then we piled in..... and when I say piled, I mean piled. Every inch of the bus was filled, so much so that after we were ready to depart, a passenger had to tell the bus driver that he was welcome to any suggestions as to how he should obey the driver’s command to move behind the white line, so crammed was the aisle behind it. It really was, in all seriousness, a dangerous situation.

Well, given this, when we turned into Blizzard Beach to pick up more passengers, I turned to Jen and asked “are you kidding me?” It was actually pretty comical. We pulled into the station, the doors opened, and the faces on those waiting to board were priceless. They were stunned! I really wish I could describe it to effect, but I’m sure you can use your imagination. Well, a few of them tried to shove their way on, but of course it was hopeless. We drove away.

When we reached the Swan, more hijinks ensued. I had told me girlfriend that we should get out at the first stop, then after the bus turned into a classic college prank, I recommended we let things clear out a bit. So when we stopped, we stayed put in the rear of the bus. A bunch of passengers got off, many simply to let those who planned to disembark there off. Well, for some unknown reason (perhaps his schedule), the driver closed the doors, completely unannounced, and instantly began driving off. People on the bus who wanted to get off were screaming, people who had left the bus as a convenience to others were running beside it yelling about how this wasn’t their stop, and Jen and I sat there in stunned amazement at the situation.

And here’s the best part. The driver literally drove 15 yards, then stopped, opened the doors, and engaged the hydraulics so as to unload the handicapped gentleman.

Well, I wasn’t dealing with this anymore, so Jen and I excused ourselves from the party before the process of unloading the man took up another 15 minutes of our day, and, well, I think it was the right choice even if we clearly missed out on what certainly had to be some more hijinks ahead at the next few stops. But hey, it’s a good enough story as it stands, I figure.

Well, we were pretty much screwed as far as time already, as it had taken forever to get back from the Animal Kingdom, so we decided to look around the Swan and the Dolphin briefly before walking back to the Beach Club. As a professor, I’m eligible for big discounts at these resorts, so we thought it might be a good idea to check out the premises. The hotels are very nice, in my opinion, and their shared pool is beautiful. There certainly is something missing from them that the other Disney hotels have, but I think there are other advantages to them that Disney hotels don’t have. All things being equal, I would choose several of the Disney resorts over them, but then, things aren’t equal when a big discount is in the mix. Some things to consider.

When we finally made it back to the hotel, we stopped at my parents’ room. My mother answered the door, glared at us, and asked, with all due malicious intent, “yes?” Oh boy......

But soon it was my turn to be angry. I asked if my sister and niece had left.... indeed they had. Had my niece gone swimming? Wait for it...... no she hadn’t. In fact, she never wanted to go swimming. She didn’t even have her swimsuit. She “just wanted to hang out with you guys.” Yes, my mother had flat out lied to us in order to get us to leave the park early.

Well then. Best to leave that scene before things got heated! So Jen and I got our swimsuits, had a fairly quick swim, came back to the room and showered, and dressed for dinner.

The walk over to the Yachtsman was a bit icy.... Jen and I consciously trailed behind. But I was excited.... I love this restaurant, and was looking forward to a fine meal. Too bad we weren’t going to eat for over an hour.....

See, my parents know Samir, one of the servers there, and when we arrived, they requested one of his tables. Which, I think, gave the staff there license to screw us over so as to clear out some of the other people hoping for a table. While we were waiting in the lounge, for instance, a couple were up in arms about what was supposedly Disney’s error in misidentifying their reservation..... it wasn’t for Friday at 7.15, they claimed, but for Saturday! She had even confirmed it! And they wanted action! Obviously the real story was that they missed their reservation the night before or else just chose to go elsewhere, and now wanted to pretend that they were being disrespected. But still, since we wanted Samir, in they went!

But whatever, I wasn’t too worried about all of that. And I was less concerned after our meal. Samir was great.... he is really friendly and more helpful than this experienced steak connoisseur required, but I enjoyed having him as our server. And the food was tremendous. Their bread is great. The lobster bisque that my girlfriend and I had was very, very good. And our Chateaubriand was expertly prepared, my only complaint being that the Bearnaise was a bit thick (a lot of places make it this way because the sauce can so easily break, but I was hoping for the right consistency there). And because I am the vacuum that sucks up everyone’s leftovers, I ate both my share of the Chateaubriand and some of Jen’s, plus a piece of my mother’s filet, which was slightly overdone to my liking (because of the minor blasphemy of my mother’s preparation orders), but still very tasty.

The downer was, of course, my father’s continuing (and growing) whining and his generally foul mood, my mother’s visible annoyance at both him and as much of the rest of the world as she could find issue with, and my brother’s naysaying and inherent negativity, brought on, no doubt, by the comparison of Jen and I’s wonderfully fun day to his time with the grumpy man with a sore throat. After dinner, my brother would add his belief that Blizzard Beach was “blah,” no fun, and would be a waste of a Sunday on our parts and that, well, in general he didn’t “like to swim with other people anymore,” and so didn’t even swim in Stormalong Bay anymore (thus justifying why he sat in the room while Jen and I went swimming earlier that evening). Team Fun was by now well formed, and simply required an official designation, to be provided by me the following day......

Still, I have to say that dinner seemed to cool things down a bit, and we were glad. No sense in ruining things, particularly over something as stupid as the idiosyncrasies of the leading memeber of Team Fun.

Afterwards, my family all went back to their rooms, but Jen and I, more interested than ever in separating ourselves from the downers that shared the trip with us, walked off our dinner with another trip around the Boardwalk, followed by a pleasant time first sitting on a bench and watching people come back from EPCOT, then relaxing on one of the beach’s swings, enjoying the night and each other. Another wonderful day in Disney World, which was quickly getting into our blood..... particularly my girlfriend’s, who had begun to actively speak about future visits, and who would soon offer up several other comments (one scheduled for the following day) betraying her growing love of the place.

We were half-way through our trip, and already I was sad about going home that Thursday.

 

[DL55]

What a day you had (by the time I finished reading I had to log in again ) I'm glad you had fun anyway. We usually speed by the Oasis going in but take our time on the way out.

Sometimes I wonder if it's worth dealing with families.

 

[N10CJT]

Sorry for the hiatus, I was out of town for an extended period surrounding the holidays!
But I'm back now, so once I get things straightened out here and take care of the preparations for the semester, watch for the first of the final five installments of my trip report! I look forward to writing it......

 

[N10CJT]

Okay, here it comes, another long installment for the sixth day of our trip! I'm sure that once my girlfriend reads it, I will be making the appropriate adjustments to address those things I've forgotten....

 

[N10CJT]

Sunday was one of my two favorite days during our trip to Disney World. And I think perhaps that because it was so much fun, it prompted the separation necessary to allow me to spontaneously rename the team comprising my family.

Once more my brother left the room in the morning, though for that day my girlfriend and I needed to wait a bit longer before he went to breakfast. By this time in the trip, the lack of sleep because of my brother’s snoring was beginning to manifest, and though it would really become an issue later in the week, it was still important for Jen and I to have some free time to ourselves before we went out for the day.

So it was pretty late in the morning before I called my mother to see if she wanted to join us for breakfast. I can’t deny that part of my preference to eat on the concierge level on this day was to minimize the potential of being trapped with an angry mother as we waited for a waitress to bring food, but mostly it was because we were anxious to get to Blizzard Beach. In any case, breakfast was short and uneventful, particularly as my mother ambled in later than anticipated. Sweet brevity.

After breakfast, my mother retired back to her room to wait for my sister, my niece and my nephew, who were coming to Orlando that afternoon so as to deliver my nephew to the airport, and Jen and I ran off to Blizzard Beach, excited as always.

And of course, it was a wonderful experience. The weather was perfect…. around 80 and sunny, with low humidity. And the crowds were relatively light, with short waits for pretty much all the attractions except Summit Plummet.

In fact, if half of the British Empire wasn’t in attendance, I think it would have been Jen and I and maybe a dozen others sharing the entire park. I don’t know why this day in this park should be so attractive to Britons, but for some reason they were all over it! Of course it didn’t affect the atmosphere of the park any, but it was a curiosity that I have yet to solve.

Anyway, after entering the park, we rented a locker and, well, Jen bought Crocs. That’s right, pink Crocs with Mickey cut-outs. Ostensibly the reason for this purchase was to give her adequate footwear for the pathways in the park (and to this end, they seemed quite useful), but somehow, as if slowly grafting themselves to her skin like shoes in a Twilight Zone episode, they continued to make appearances on her feet in the days to come, even accompanying us to the airport and taking a trip through the x-ray machine at security (while Jen walked barefoot through the metal detector ). So look, Jen, I don’t want to hear that I was remiss in not cramming another pair of shoes in with my luggage to avoid paring black shoes with dark navy pants, nor about wearing a t-shirt under a cotton half-zip, nor about any number of other fashion faux paus that I may commit entirely unawares, because while Crocs may be super-comfortable and practical and a favorite of Disney-goers everywhere, there is no denying that they are the first step towards an appointment on a makeover show, and with good reason.

There’s my piece, on to the primary affairs of the day.

As for the sequence of the things we did, I can’t even begin to put everything into a specific order. We began at the Slush Gusher, though, I’m certain of that. Jen was not too enthusiastic about Summit Plummet, and though I vaguely wanted to try it, the impulse was not sufficient to justify waiting for it. The line itself was not too obscene, but considering all the fun to be had on the other attractions, the last thing I wanted to do was waste time standing barefoot on a metal staircase. And besides, the lifeguard at Slush Gusher mentioned to a visitor in front of us that it was a wilder ride anyway. Indeed, it’s hard to deny this. I flew down the slope so fast (I really think that my frame is aerodynamically perfect for water rides, because way too many of them seem borderline dangerous when I careen down them—part of the reason I love water parks, I’m certain) that on the second hump, I caught some pretty serious air and landed somewhat hard. But hey, that’s fun in my book, and Jen agreed that the slide was awesome. It was a great beginning to our time there, and set the mood for the rest of the day.

I should also mention that the view from atop these slides is tremendous, and worth the trip itself. Okay, so McDonalds is an eyesore, but of course there’s also a splendid view of Expedition Everest, as well as fine looks at the Tower of Terror, MGM water-tower, and EPCOT sphere. On a clear day—which we had—it really is something special to stand up there and gaze around the property.

After that I think we moved to the Snow Stormers. These toboggan slides (the ones that curve) are probably my favorite attraction of the park, and although only two of the three chutes were open on that day, we had no problem with riding down them several times throughout the day. Obviously I wanted a level of speed that necessitated some serious upper-body exertion in order to simply remain in contact with my toboggan, and I only got faster as the day went along and I figured out how to maximize that speed, so there were definitely some moments where I was going to capsize or invert or some other variation of train wreck. And I loved every second. Jen didn’t stand a chance…. No matter which chute she chose or how lengthy her head start, I inevitably crashed into the pool before she did.

Speaking of maximizing speed to dangerous levels, the Toboggan Racers that are adjacent to Snow Stormers are great fun as well, and riding them actually resulted in a bonafide Disney injury.
Okay, I’m going to let everyone in on a little secret, to be employed responsibly and kept from those whom you intend to carry your bloodline into future generations. There’s definitely a technique to maximizing speed on a Blizzard Beach toboggan. The way to do it is to pull back on the handles so that the front end of the toboggan is just off the surface of the slide…. this eliminates the friction of the brake pads. If you then cross your ankles and keep them just above the surface in back of you, there is nothing but a slick piece of styrofoam connecting you with the Earth.

Well, as the day progressed and my superior intellect steadily informed me of the best way to get myself killed (since clearly using it to get my Ph.D. was a waste of time), I began to dominate the Toboggan Racers senior circuit. And so on my final ride down, I had my greatest moment of glory when I blew past a man who was so ridiculously intent on winning this, the Pebble Beach of Toboggan Racers competitions, that he cheated by jumping the gun in clear violation of the lifeguard’s and the International Toboggan Racers Federation’s rules. But in order to achieve this virtuous and self-affirming victory, I had to generate so much speed that on the final hump I launched off of the slide to greater heights than the girl in the photograph on the Disney website, causing me to lose control as I fell back to the surface. I didn’t lose any speed, however, and so as I tilted to my left side, my forearm scraped against the rough part of the slide meant to bring the toboggan to a halt, ripping a fairly significant part of the skin away. But I figure it was worth it. So many people are injured by kids kicking their shins in lines for rides not meant for them or by jerks shoving them out of the way in a push for one of the available monorail benches that I figure my wound was, respectively, glorious, a mark of courage and distinction to be proud of. Jen clearly agrees.

The next ride on the list is the unfortunately named Downhill Double Dipper. This attraction is fun, particularly on the first run, but the speed of it isn’t enough to counteract the overall length of the ride itself. I feel this way particularly because it seems to me that the raft conveyor breaks down about seven times a day, and when it does, inevitably there will be a family of sugar-high pre-teens dancing about and picking fights with other kids in line while their parents looked on apathetically. The line itself moves pretty slow anyway, and as such it isn’t my favorite. The redeeming factor was, however, my girlfriend’s scream as she plummeted into the darkness of the tube. A favorite no matter what the situation…..

From the Downhill Double Dipper or the Slush Gusher (I can’t remember which), we had watched people sliding down the Runoff Rapids tube rides, and it looked like so much fun, particularly because the tubes themselves bounce around. And indeed they were all a blast. The march up the stairs, which are pretty steep and fairly long, served as a fine workout, particularly when I was toting the two-seater rather than the single inner tube. There was an awful lot of complaining from other visitors on the way up, but the way I see it, the hike wasn’t absurd and I would have been glad to double it for a ride that was twice as high. But then, I’m a hiker, so I suppose I shouldn’t preclude the possibility that for some people it is prohibitively high, who knows.

But the rides themselves are so much fun, particularly the enclosed tube, which is a different experience depending upon the position of the sun (at certain positions of the sun, the light sparkles through the holes in the tube, which is a fine effect). I’m not a big fan of the restrictions on which riders can go in which chutes, because almost as a rule one of the slides (most often the center, enclosed tube because that’s the one for single riders) has a line five times longer than the others, something that seems utterly ridiculous to me. I mean, how dangerous could it be to let a single tube down one of the double-seater chutes? But whatever, it was fun anyway. And yes, my girlfriend did some screeching in the enclosed tube, and I’m not sure, but perhaps she could hear me laughing about this in return.

We also rode the family tube ride (Teamboat Springs) once, and it was great fun. The couple who we were paired with were very nice, and the physics of the ride was affected by their size. I’m 6’ 1/2” and about 180-85 pounds, but my girlfriend is only 5’ 3” and 125 pounds (and slimming still, I’m so proud of her!), and the other couple were, well, much larger. It caused the raft to rotate erratically, and that was great fun. And the slide is very, very long, it’s actually very impressive. Our picture was taken at the bottom, but I’m not sure what Jen did with the PhotoPass cube so I haven’t gotten a chance to check it out.

And finally, there’s the Cross Country Creek, which is relaxing but also a tremendous amount of fun. Jen and I both loved all the little details along the way, and I enjoyed timing a push of Jen’s tube so as to position her beneath a spray of cold water. Best amongst these moments was in the cave, where I managed to completely stop her for some time directly beneath a rather large cascade of water. Jen was a huge fan of the alligator’s house and his incessant sneezing. “I’ve got a cold in my nose…..” This is one of those things that makes Disney so special, and in this instance, it made a rather simple perimeter tube something more.

My only criticism was in the complete lack of attention paid to the debris in the pool. They really need to get a couple cast members around the pool with skimmers, the leaves are out of control.

I also enjoyed the wave pool, though it was a bit over-crowded and I could tell that my girlfriend was struggling a bit at times because she isn’t as strong a swimmer as I am. I do wish that there had been a production of big waves, but oh well.

Two events need to be interjected here, one of which readers who’ve made it this far will recognize instantly. But first…..

Lunch. As a general rule, I think it’s best to avoid lunch in the parks, because the food isn’t great and it wastes a lot of time. But in this instance I can sympathize with Jen’s hunger…. we had had a late but small breakfast, and though I can usually go for long periods of a day without eating anything (sometimes I arrive on campus in the morning and teach and meet with students non-stop until the end of the day, so I’m used to it), Jen is more comfortable with a regular schedule. So we went back to the main lodge for a snack, settling on a couple hot dogs and an order of fries, but only after waiting for an overwhelmed clerk who didn’t speak adequate English for the job try to handle the double lines she was responsible for (this is a really stupid design, and creates a great deal of confusion and disorder).

The entertainment, on the other hand, came from three women in the table behind us as they discussed the meaning and benefits of a kosher diet. Normally this wouldn’t be anything special (I’m from New York, after all), but it was highly amusing because not only did they have their facts wrong despite supposedly having read a book about it, but they were three of the most unhealthy looking women in the park, all three clearly morbidly obese and all three gorging themselves on multiple cheeseburgers and other assorted greasiness. I don’t want to be judgmental, and frankly I don’t care if these women want to live unhealthy lives…. I just found the contradictions and some of their conversation amusing.

The other event was, yes……

THE NAMING OF TEAM FUN!!!!!

Okay, so it was innocuous. After a day of pretty much nonstop fun that fairly well symbolized the missed opportunities for fun that my family endured, I asked my girlfriend, with all intended sarcasm, “I wonder what Team Fun is up to right now.” She giggled, then thought about it, then lost control of herself, and a legend was born. A day later, Team Manic would be born, and the contest would be on!

As for this day, after a second stint in the Creek meant to settle Jen’s stomach a bit (my rationale for avoiding lunch illustrated!), we decided to head out. The park was only going to remain open for half an hour more anyway, so it wasn’t a huge disappointment. I looked somewhat longingly at Summit Plummet, which I could by then imagine as a fine closing remark to the day, but it was no big deal, I wasn’t heartbroken. I sold my key for five bucks and we were off.

Thankfully, the bus to pick us up was not crammed to the gills with people returning from Animal Kingdom.

When we returned to the hotel, we found the entirety of Team Fun in my parents’ room watching football, along with my sister and her two children. On a gorgeous day. In Disney World. Team Fun.

After discussing our plans for the evening (8.00 reservations at California Grill!), my sister motivated my nephew to movement and asked me what we intended to do, whereupon my mother announced that I wanted to watch the game. Of course I didn’t! I love watching football on a normal Sunday, but I was in Disney World. I was ready for more fun. I don’t really understand the mentality of wasting time there doing what you do every week back home, unless it’s the Super Bowl or the final of the World Cup or something like that. The previous day we had been privy to a conversation on the bus home from Oklahoma Sooner fans, who were racing back to the hotel to watch the game. Here we were, upset to be torn away from the park, and they were running from it as fast as they could by choice! I guess everyone has their thing, but I just can’t figure this one. Frankly if watching football is so important to you that you can’t miss one week, plan a trip during the offseason! I just don’t get it.

In any case, Jen and I left the family behind, and I made another crack about Team Fun that got her going again. And instead of watching football (and besides, the Giants got killed), Jen and I went upstairs, showered and dressed, and took the bus to the Magic Kingdom as a means to go over to the Grand Floridian so that Jen could see how amazing a place it was. She didn’t believe me then….. she would after seeing it!

Going to the Magic Kingdom, however, was a huge mistake. I had completely forgotten that that night was slotted for Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party. Because of this, it was bedlam outside of the park. With day visitors flooding out, the monorails, busses and boat lines were packed, and I felt bad for those trying to make their way into the park for the Christmas Party, so dense was the crowd standing outside. Of the choice between the monorail and the boat, the boat was the better choice by far, and so we chose that option. Still, we waited for some time before the third boat arrived (the first two taking those in front of us in line), and it was past 7.30 before we reached the hotel.

I should mention first, however, that the boat ride across the lagoon is enchanting. The lights from the park in one direction, the lights of the hotel in the other, the stars above…. It’s wonderful. I’d recommend that anyone choosing this option should soak it all in, because most of those on our boat seemed disinterested in considering the possibility that the ride could be more than just a means of transport.

Well, Jen was blown away by the Grand Floridian. It really is a magnificent hotel, and even on its scale—which Jen vastly under-estimated—it is beautifully designed and detailed. Jen began talking about how it was a hotel for a special occasion like a honeymoon (look out, Chris!) or a special trip, and that was before we reached the lobby. The tree in the lobby is enormous, of course (though being from New York, I’ve seen truly enormous Christmas trees), and the gingerbread house is amazing, filling the entire lobby with an amazing smell. All in all, it was worth the special trip to check the place out.

Unfortunately we couldn’t stay longer, so we headed to the monorail platform to catch a train to the Contemporary. I was excited, as it was our first ride on the monorail and I had been looking forward to it, loving the monorail so much. And when it arrived, it was the one with a yellow stripe…. my favorite colored monorail from when I was a child! It’s a stupid detail, I know, but it really highlighted how special little things can be in Disney World, and it made it seem as though the place had been waiting for me for 12 years, keeping in mind exactly what I favored so that the current trip would be as special as it could be.

And dinner would not disappoint. In fact, California Grill is clearly my favorite restaurant on the property now, and our time there was among the most wonderful of the entire trip.

On the whole, the Contemporary is much less impressive than I remembered it. The internal monorail station is unique, but the concourse isn’t anything special and what’s worse, contains the remnants of what was once a spectacular arcade that I had looked forward to frequenting after dinner (I was so disappointed to discover its demise). But I really do love the special elevator to the restaurant, as it builds anticipations for what is to come.

The space of California Grill is wonderful. I’ve heard people complain that it is loud, but I found it to be noisy only to a fun level, like a restaurant of this type should be. I like the open kitchen and sushi bar, and the colorful ties of the servers. And of course the views from the windows and the observation deck is amazing, particularly with the changing colors of the light-draped castle.

Anyway, we met the rest of our group in the lounge…. my sister and niece were joining us. Shortly afterwards, we were seated.

Our server was…. well…. he tried hard. Enough said about that…. actually, his inattentiveness sort of worked in our benefit. Since we had nothing else to do that night, I had no issues with spending a ridiculous amount of time at dinner. Besides, he didn’t ruin the evening.

The menu is really great there anyway, and is amply distracting. So was my niece’s response to it. She is scandalously sheltered and unwilling to try new things. At 15, I don’t expect her to eat everything suggested to her, but I do expect her to refrain from “what’s wrong with this place?” comments. At one point she refused the four-cheese flatbread because she didn’t know what Pecorino was, remaining stubborn even after my sister explained that she used Romano at home all the time. Unbelievably, instead of trying something off of the main menu, she, a 15 year old girl, requested a kid’s menu, oblivious to the notion that her choice to do so should have told her that this aspect of her personality was woefully immature. And when that came, she had trouble once more…. even with the sushi dessert, which was out-of-the-question despite being little more than a rice krispie treat.

My brother, ever on the outlook for chances to be a *******, informed me that I was surely not much more adventurous at that age than she was. A miscalculation, to be sure…. my parents backed me up when I said I was more restrictive than at present, but certainly not finicky like my niece. I don’t think people living in environment-controlling bubbles find it as difficult to find something on a menu as my niece does.

Jen and I, on the other hand, had no problem with sushi, and we intended to eat a lot of food that my family finds weird. And though I am a New York City bred sushi snob, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the sushi at California Grill is generally of a high quality. We began with the tuna three ways, and it was very good, in particular the poki, which I thought was quite tasty, and the tartar, whose crumbs were chased around the plate until they were exhausted.

For an entrée we chose rolls, mostly because the sashimi and nigiri at our favorite place on Thompson Street is out of this world and because I like to sample the creative ways in which sushi chefs present rolls. So we ordered a Snake in the Grass, which was fantastic (eel is one of my favorites, and I liked the way Yoshi paired it not only with the avocado but with the understated tempura), a Double Crunch Rainbow Roll, which was my favorite choice, expertly constructed out of three fish and tobiko, and a Spicy Sensation Roll, also great and my girlfriend’s favorite (she enjoys sauces on sushi more than I do, so I knew it would be her choice). Of course my father had to utter the standard “what are you eating?” comment, our offer to share with my mother was returned with a comment that she only ate California rolls (she had earlier assured us that she loved sushi), and my brother came in with the dumbest comments of the bunch, asking my father if he was disappointed to have raised a son who drank martinis (recall I also love beer, like my father) and ate weird foods, so terrible is my habit of exploring new cuisines and expanding my list of things I love. The culinary interests and personality traits of Team Fun, on display.

In any case, our choice of sushi as a dinner was also perfect because it allowed us to pause in order to watch the fireworks (the eel did cool a bit, but this didn’t ruin it). We went out onto the observation deck and, well, it was amazing. The effect of being up on top of the Contemporary with my girlfriend with the music pumped in and the special Christmas Party fireworks laid out before us in a panoramic display is something that is difficult to put into words…. it is overwhelming in a way, eliciting an emotion that creates a feeling that there is no place in the world that is better at that moment and that that world can be a beautiful place. It was almost like a narcotic… at that moment I was perfectly happy, and the self-recognition of my happiness made me feel blessed to be alive and healthy and at such a place with someone who could also appreciate it. I remembered what Jen had said to me earlier in the day, that she could see how adults could become addicted to Disney World, so young and unfettered did it make them feel (if they let it), and I couldn’t help but reconfigure that estimate to include far more aspects of humanity than youth and fun. It was nothing short of one of the most memorable moments of my life.

So how could dessert compare to that? Well, it didn’t, clearly, but my “Butterscotch Buzz” was tasty, and Jen enjoyed her Year of a Million Dreams special dessert, and we ended our meal there perfectly content and happy to have had such a wonderful day.

We drove back with my family, who had taken their van to the Contemporary, and after a little bit of wandering around the grounds of the Beach Club, we went to bed looking forward to a great Monday in a cleared-out Disney World.

 

[DL55]

What a fun day. You made me laugh again Makes me look forward to going to the water parks.
It's sad when people refuse to sample the unfamiliar. I like trying new things but not really weird things. I've only tried sushi once, I didn't care for it but I may try once more. Even my 16 y.o. (at the time) tried the sushi. My DH on the other hand pretty much only eats cows, bacon and whatever hot dogs are made of.

 

[N10CJT]

What a fun day. You made me laugh again Makes me look forward to going to the water parks.
It's sad when people refuse to sample the unfamiliar. I like trying new things but not really weird things. I've only tried sushi once, I didn't care for it but I may try once more. Even my 16 y.o. (at the time) tried the sushi. My DH on the other hand pretty much only eats cows, bacon and whatever hot dogs are made of.

Glad you enjoyed another installment, DL!
My niece's issues definitely stem from her parents, I won't go into that too far. I'm glad that your daughter (daughter?) is willing to try things.
I'm glad to hear that you haven't given up on sushi. In case you're interested, here's some quick advice I gave to someone on the boards back in November, perhaps it will help you out:

Pumbaa, I love the "bait description." Last weekend in New York I ate at Tomoe, my favorite place in the city, and the sashimi there is ENORMOUS. If bait, then bait for whales.....
In any case, as an adoring sushi veteran, I'd like to offer this. Sushi actually translates as "with rice," so there are plenty of non-raw-fish and vegetarian options. One of these is freshwater eel, or unagi. I know, I know, eels, the word makes my niece cringe and gag. But it's actually incredibly tasty and meaty, and is generally grilled in sushi dishes. Nigiri Unagi and eel and avocado combinations are almost always part of my plate at sushi restaurants, and if you can get past the concept of consuming an eel, it's actually one of the more accessible choices.
Tuna, salmon and red snapper also seem to be more universally received. Sea bass is also very fleshy and rich, and thus good for beginners.
I've heard that there is a good eel dish at California Grill, and intend to test it out next weekend when I'm down there!
As a final note, I hope you come to love sushi, it's really a great choice (not to mention healthy). Take it slow, and make sure you take your steps at reputable places. Bad sushi joints are the number two reason people hate sushi (#1 being inherent disgust at the concept), as good sushi is an art that requires substantial skill (master chefs study for 10 years). I've transformed my girlfriend from a rolls-only sushi patron into someone who froths at the mouth over sashimi, but I was careful to take her to good places before asking her to make that step!

 

[DL55]

Thanks for the advice. I suspected reason #2, that's why I'll try it again.

 

[N10CJT]

Sorry to be so delayed again, there's been some distracting stuff to deal with and I haven't had a chance to write another installment. But hopefully I'll be able to get to one soon, it should make me feel better to remember another day from our wonderful trip.
Thanks to everyone sticking with me!

 

[DL55]

I'm patient.

 

[N10CJT]

Thanks for your patience, DL! I've managed to find some time here and there to piece together a new installment, and here it is! Long as ever, of course.... I realize more and more that I have a LOT to say about our wonderful trip!

 

[N10CJT]

Sunday night marked the worst snoring of the entire trip. I remember this because though I hoped to get an early start on Monday, Jen and I found ourselves sleeping for an extra couple hours once my brother left for the convention hall. When we did rouse ourselves, it was nearing 9.30. I called my mother and informed her that Jen wanted a pressed pot of Kona coffee, and asked her if she wanted to head over to the Polynesian with us.

This should have been a reasonable proposition, but it was to prove far more difficult than we anticipated, much because of my mother’s stubbornness. I proposed that we walk through EPCOT and then catch the monorail from the entrance. With the trains moving to accommodate the morning crowds heading into the park, I figured that even if we didn’t catch one leaving right at that moment, we’d be in good shape. And more importantly, I’m of the opinion that any monorail ride is better than a bus ride, particularly if it’s paired with a walk on a beautiful morning.

My mother disagreed. And so we headed to the Beach Club’s bus stop to wait for a ride to the Magic Kingdom, from which we could then catch a monorail or a boat over to the Polynesian. And remarkably, unbelievably, incomprehensively, Disney’s uber-reliable bus system let us down! We watched as multiple buses destined for the Animal Kingdom came and went, with nothing headed for the Magic Kingdom in between. Indeed, the situation was becoming dangerous as a family of severely hyper pre-teens attempted to quell their momentary boredom with an enthralling game of Evel Knieval…. that is, a contest where each child attempted to hurl themselves across a progressively longer row of their on-all-fours siblings, while their parents sat blissfully ignorant of the potential catastrophe in the offing. At one point, the youngest of the group straightened up a fraction of a second before it would have been too late for her brother to abort his leap, which garnered a laugh from pop and a “what happened?” from his ever-attentive wife. Add an item to the lengthy list of outstanding parenting decisions made in Disney World.

In any case, my mother grew impatient, so when the bus for Downtown Disney pulled up, we stepped onto it. At this point I was getting nervous about making breakfast by the 11.00 cut-off. I don’t think that my mother really understands the geography of Walt Disney World, and so taking a bus east when we needed to go northwest was an entirely rational choice at a moment when we were stressed for time.

Fortunately, when we pulled into the Boardwalk to pick up more guests, I noticed a bus to the Magic Kingdom pulling in behind us! How fortuitous! So I prompted my mother and my girlfriend to exit our bus so that we could pick up the new one. And of course, now my mother began to fret, saying that we should have stuck with the bus we were on and generally looking sour. But frankly, I wasn’t sorry then and I’m not sorry now, since my decision clearly saved breakfast for us, an assessment that my girlfriend confirms without hesitation. For once we got to the Magic Kingdom, we caught the monorail from there, and walked into Kona Café five minutes before they stopped seating people for the morning meal. If we had continued on to Downtown Disney, who knows how long we would have been waiting for a bus to the Polynesian, even if it was physically possible to traverse the distance in time. Even if we dealt with the unpleasantness of watching an older woman giving up her seat to my mother as a low 40-something couple with two teenage girls in designer sunglasses spread out on the bench across the aisle, never thinking about moving over to allow either woman to sit there even though it was clear that both could have squeezed into the spare space, this transportation choice—my second choice, I’ll remind you—was the right one.

Besides, the women on the monorail were really nice and brightened things on our ride, and, well, the hassle was worth it for what is clearly the best breakfast on the property (or at least the best one that I know of). My mother and my girlfriend got their pressed pots of coffee (and I got an idea for a Christmas present that would go over really well with Jen!), and out came three orders of Tonga Toast, which was very tasty. I don’t know what it is about that dish, but even though it seems like it should be way too sweet, I thought it was perfect. Perhaps it was a function of my exhaustion, wherein pounds of sugar might possibly be received by my body as the perfect nutritional supplement, the more sophisticated parts of my palate be damned!

It seemed to revive spirits, as well. After breakfast, we lingered briefly in the Polynesian’s beautiful lobby. I remembered this lobby fondly from my earlier visits, and it still impressed me, even if I am horribly disappointed that they removed the birds and the Koi, which I really believe were vital to the once overwhelming charm of the surroundings. Still, it was pleasant enough to combine with the fine breakfast in our stomachs so as to convince my mother to walk over to the Tickets and Transportation Center to catch a monorail back to EPCOT. I thought that perhaps we would be able to get on Soarin’, which is my mother’s favorite ride on the entire property, and that as a result all the friction of the weekend might be buried in a tidal wave of Disney-prompted endorphins.

Well, things began smoothly enough. I was so excited to get on the monorail destined for EPCOT. My girlfriend makes fun of me for my love of the monorail, but it really is a pleasant (not to mention eco-friendly) means of moving about, and the ride into EPCOT is something that everyone should experience during a trip to Disney. The longer trip across the property is lovely—complete with a gratifying pass by the main entrance with its lines of buses filing through—but the most wonderful aspect of the ride is the tour of Future World. I think that it is one of the most charming experiences in all of Disney World to be able to circle above the park, and once in the park, it is nearly as charming to watch a train pass directly overhead or else set against a backdrop of one of the iconic panoramas that the park offers. Doing this on any day would put a smile on my face, and by proxy, one on Jen’s as well.

After we entered the park and made a pit-stop for the two coffee-drinking females in our party, we headed over the Land pavilion to see if we could get on Soarin’. We couldn’t. The wait was hovering around an hour, and though I told me mother that we would stick it out in this particular instance if she really wanted to, she passed (much to my relief). Despite protests from my mother, who saw no purpose in doing so, we picked up FastPasses for much later in the afternoon. Once more, in the face of my family’s naysaying, my decision was to pay dividends later on—this one perhaps as predictably as any addition to the trend.

After the failure to get into Soarin’, my mother completely lost interest in Disney World once more, deciding to head back to the hotel rather than move on to another attraction. As I will have plenty of time to reiterate my lack of understanding of my family’s strange preference for a hotel room over the endless fun available elsewhere during the dinner portion of this installment, I’ll leave it there.

Jen and I certainly were not going anywhere. Instead, we headed over to Test Track. The waits for the ride weren’t terrible when we arrived….. somewhere around 30 minutes…. but given our experiences there on Friday, we preferred not to wait. Neither did we want to use our special FastPasses for the ride at that time, because my brother wasn’t with us and therefore could not use his, and we knew that he loved the ride and wanted to go on it with us. So instead, I suggested that we try to Single-Person line.

It was a fantastic idea. Sure, we couldn’t ride together, which really is important most of the time because who you share a ride with is generally as critical to the enjoyment of a ride as the actual ride itself. But in this case I think that was counter-balanced by the fact that it was our first time ever on the ride. It would have been nice to share it with each other, but after all, it’s just a ride and there was plenty of reason to enjoy it alone. And since we chose the Single-Rider line, we walked straight up to the operations manager, who almost immediately let us into a Briefing Room packed to capacity with about 7 people total.

Now here’s where it was a bit strange. When we rode again later that day, we discovered that something was missing from this particular ride. There were no videos on the televisions in the Briefing Room! Of course we didn’t know that we were missing anything at the time. But I did find it really odd to have minor celebrities interrupting us at several times during the ride itself with under-contextualized commentary, and I was somewhat confused about the reasons for this until the retroactive experience later on.

But hey, even so I think Test Track is a lot of fun. I wouldn’t call it a signature experience, but then it’s difficult to meet expectations that are set by the likes of Splash Mountain and Expedition Everest. Frankly I could do without some of the less intense sections of the ride, which did little more than throw my back out of whack a bit (the seats in the cars aren’t brutally stiff, but there was something about the design of them that disagreed with my anatomy), but other parts were quite fun, and the theming is simple but perfectly appropriate. And though I sort of think that the fastest section should be even faster because it’s fairly straightforward, I think that as it stands it is great, particularly at the moment when the car flies past the front of the attraction.

My girlfriend also enjoyed it thoroughly, in part because her ability to suspend disbelief is world class. More on that later!

I need to mention that outside of the ride is a play area that made me briefly wish that I was a child rather than just someone acting like one. I really couldn’t justify rolling around on the hood of a fake car getting wet, even more so because I would be sure to collide with actual children looking to do the same. And besides, it would look just a bit too much like a parody of a ‘70’s skin flick if I were indeed to do so. Ah well, the realities of adulthood are sometimes inescapable, even in Disney World.

In lieu of the car wash play area, we headed to the World Showcase to explore the pavilions that we hadn’t been able to get to the previous Friday. I realize now that we made a glaring omission by passing over the Wonders of Life pavilion, which for some reason—perhaps my increasing exhaustion from repeated encounters with the snoring alien, or maybe my unconscious desire not to be reminded of the moment when I became eternally indebted to a woman who would repeatedly ask me to pay her for this service by immediately ceasing to have fun so as to join her and others of my blood-kin in pursuing as idle an existence as possible—I completely forgot existed. Alas, what is done is done, I’ll just have to put it on the list for next time.

Anyway, the first pavilion this time was Mexico, which is gorgeous from the outside and very cool within. I like the idea of placing an “outside” inside of something, and though I think that the store in Mexico is fairly lame (way too kitschy when they could be selling amazing things, albeit on a smaller scale, like those you might find in San Antonio’s El Marketa), I did enjoy the atmosphere there. The boat ride was pleasant, as well, much because it features Donald, a personal favorite of mine and my girlfriend (who really likes the attraction). I wish the ride was a little more imaginative—and perhaps it was in its earlier incarnation, which I never experienced—but it’s not a terrible way to spend 10 minutes.

After Mexico it was on to China, another beautifully rendered pavilion. Some of the antiques and artwork within the main building are nice, though I think the inclusion of scale models of the terra cotta warriors is misguided, since by necessity the display falls vastly short of what must be the overwhelming magnitude of the real thing, which are, well, real and which have survived for centuries instead of being crafted as a representation. Perhaps on a ride they would be better employed, but as is, I pretty much just passed right by them. The store in China, on the other hand, is very nice, and full of all sorts of authentic wares. I loved some of the scroll paintings, and many of their other offerings were gorgeous as well. Being poor, however, I picked up perhaps the most touristy of items there, albeit with consideration given to the practical uses for them…. handcrafted wooden chopsticks in carrying cases that we can easily take with us to restaurants.

The nicest thing about China, though, was that on the way out we saw Mulan and Mushu, the latter of whom was actually walking about and interacting with guests rather than standing before a queue…. a nostalgic reminder of a time past.

Next was the ancestral homeland, Germany! And, well, some good, some bad. The setting is beautiful, if somewhat more Bavarian than I’d like it to be, the train display is wonderful, and the stores are really fantastic, Germans knowing a few things about toys, steins and crystal (including, I suppose, a pretty famous slipper). On the other hand, I was disappointed by the wine section and the tasting opportunity offered, as they focused on the fruitiest of concoctions when the best wines from Germany are the more subtle Rieslings and gewürztraminers—two wines that were, as far as I can tell, completely absent from the store. And most egregiously, in the sports store, they only had jerseys from Bayern and Hamburg….. no Schalke! Blasphemy! In fact, they had jerseys from Chelsea and Real Madrid and the likes as well…. those clubs aren’t even German! What’s that all about? My advice: more Konigsblauen. That’s just common sense. Jen agrees with me, of course, being a rational woman herself…..

Okay, given my intense disdain for the horrendous style of football that is played in Italy, it may seem that I am biased against the Italian pavilion, but in fact both Jen and I were thoroughly underwhelmed by it. Jen was excited to check it out, and while the texture and detail on the buildings were wonderful, the rest of the pavilion was pretty boring. Again I think the designers suffered from trying to capture something that can not be captured on a small scale. It’s just impossible to reproduce the grandiose feel of an Italian piazza, and so it’s best to do something else with the space…. I think putting the pavilion on a hill and creating tight stone walkways that wind up it would have been a better choice. Just plopping a big fountain down in a miniature square just doesn’t cut it.

We passed briefly through the American pavilion, which is impressive enough. But, well, we sort of live in America. In fact, I’m actually in America right now. Further, as much as I love America, I sort of hate the need for Americans to declare the superiority of the nation by means of the biggest, most ostentatious displays they can think of, and the American pavilion is flirting with poor taste…. it’s twice the size of Independence Hall, after all, and reminds me a little too much of a Virginian plantation house with a clock tower atop it—hardly a statement striking at the heart of the best of American idealism. All in all, I think that Sam the Eagle’s title for his show in the brilliant Muppet Vision 3D attraction applies to the American Adventure and its relationship to the rest of the World Showcase: A Celebration of All Nations but Mostly America. And okay, I’ve got to be brutally honest: animatronic Ben Franklin and animatronic Mark Twain just don’t do it for me, particularly considering my expertise regarding the latter. I know a lot of people love this pavilion, but while I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I explicitly hate it, it certainly isn’t my favorite.

Now for a lesson, free to use as you see fit, arisen from our next stop. If you see something that you love in a store, buy it. Don’t leave it and assume that you’ll be able to come back for it later. Unfortunately for Jen, she learned this in Japan on a Monday in November. We stopped into the Mitsukoshi store so that she could purchase a beautiful tea set and matching bowls, but unfortunately it was no longer there. And none of the other sets were pretty enough or inexpensive enough or like the bowls enough to strike her fancy. I felt bad, and since then have tried to find something online for her but have failed miserably. One more thing to look for during a future trip.

By this time my bad knee was aching, so after a brief stop in France to pick up some really nice wine glasses with clouded Mickey ears on them and a few minutes at a table outside as Jen had a glass of wine, we went back to the hotel, where we had a swim in Stormalong Bay (my brother chose to go down to my parents’ room to fiddle with the internet rather than join us), took a shower, and in general re-energized. When we were ready, we somehow—unbelievably really—convinced my entire family to join us in EPCOT in advance of our dinner at Kona Café. We headed straight for Soarin’ (well, by straight, I mean my parents walked as agonizingly slowly as they possibly could and grumbled as much as they dared)…… and…….

…..of course it still had a long line! But wait, we had 3 FastPasses! Hoorah!

Yeah, but unfortunately martyr mom came out at this very moment. Jen and I offered all variety of solutions….. take our FastPasses and ride with my father and my brother. Take the third and join us. Wait in the standby line, we’ll all suck it up. No no no no no….. ugh. Instead, here’s what happened. My mother and my father declared that they were going back to the room…. huh?.... and that my brother should go on the ride with Jen and I. I was by this time well beyond the time when I would argue, and so in we went.

Soarin’ is a nice attraction, and we had a lot of fun on it, but it doesn’t come close to meeting the hype surrounding it. I’m definitely interested in going on it again, but Jen and I agree that we can’t fathom waiting for the amount of time that people wait for it. It’s far too short and the left side of the screen needs cleaning, and the ride itself isn’t nearly as impressive as people make it out to be. But I will admit that the mechanism for the ride is remarkable. And perhaps because my girlfriend kept asking me if I was going to be alright on it (I certainly was before she germinated in my head the idea that my anxiety about flight would make me anxious on this ride), the sensations of flight resonated within me to an extent sufficient to make the ride momentarily believable enough to work.

After Soarin’, we decided to use our FastPasses for Test Track so that my brother could ride it. And once more it was great….. this time it even made sense, since the video played in the Briefing Room! My favorite part of the ride, though, was my girlfriend’s fright at being propelled at high speed towards a closed door, as if this time it wouldn’t open properly. I love that even though she was on the ride earlier in the day and as such knew exactly what was coming at that moment, still it made her nervous. It was great.

Well, we wanted to secure Extra Magic Hours bracelets for the Magic Kingdom before we went to dinner, so we took two monorails over to the Magic Kingdom (much to my pleasure). When we arrived, the bracelet queues were conveniently right at the entrance to the park, and so we were able to get them right away. Well, sort of. Somehow, I chose to walk up to the unoccupied (but well-stocked) girl who directed me to another cast member who not only had a line before him but was struggling with the bracelets. Oh well, minor inconvenience. My girlfriend, on the other hand, chose the guy who had mouse blood in his veins. “Make sure you remember to make a wish in front of the castle!” he told her. I think that’s cute, but it’s sort of a lunatic type of cute (particularly coming from a full grown man), and so I’m sorry I missed it….. Jen’s reaction would have been priceless.

We were pressed for time, but despite my brother’s repeated protests, we were able to ride Pirates of the Caribbean once more, fight through the Main Street crowds gathering for the fireworks display, catch a monorail to the Polynesian and arrive in time for our reservation.

Little did we know that Team Manic was about to be born out of one of the most ludicrous exchanges in the history of Disney World.

Let me first say that dinner at Kona Café was, well, okay. My girlfriend really enjoyed it; I thought it wasn’t bad but wasn’t anything special, certainly not on a par with its breakfast. The duck potstickers were pretty good, but I was hoping for more…. actually, I had order-envy as my girlfriend enjoyed her soup special, a coconut curry soup that she devoured. We both had Tuna Oscar as an entrée, Jen because the Mahi Mahi that she had been looking forward to the entire trip wasn’t on the menu. My tuna was decent, if overcooked a bit (in fairness, I like it very rare, the way Yellowfin tastes best), but Jen was happier with hers. Our desserts were very tasty—mine the Caramel Banana Crème Brule, and Jen’s the Volcano Torte. We did not heed my niece’s advice to order the Kona Kone….. shockingly, it turned out to be something of a children’s dessert drowned in sprinkles, quite unlike the sophisticated flavor combinations that my niece would normally go for.

I will add that the bread at Kona Kafe is amazing, and I couldn’t get enough of it with macadamia butter. It was something of a repeat of Le Cellier, as I could imagine myself enjoying a dinner entirely consisting of a small item (in this case, I’d probably choose a salad) and endless orders of bread.

Okay, onto the main event.

Well, in general my family’s mood that evening wasn’t spectacular. My father wasn’t feeling well and so he complained about that, but he also complained about the setting of the restaurant (on this night he was intrinsically opposed to the open dining area of a café, though I can vouch that in the past he has encouraged visits to cafes of varying styles and decors). My mother feeds off of my father’s phlegmatic inclinations, and so she wasn’t at the top of her game either. And my brother was steadily deciding that it would be best if he was sick, a popular mechanism that he employs often—in any case, he wasn’t inclined to join two people in the Magic Kingdom with as much energy as we showed before dinner.

And that’s when it came. Once more, instead of deciding that since everyone else was simply going to head back to the hotel to watch television and go to bed we should naturally do the same, I declared our intention of going in for Extra Magic Hours anyway. Somehow, this led to my brother becoming fed up with us. “You’re so manic,” he told us, “you always have to be doing something.”

I swear, that’s what he said.

Hey, far be it for us to actually want to do things during our first trip to Disney in over a decade! That we prefer to be out and about instead of holed up in a hotel room! In any case, Jen and I were not racing around like lunatics….. we slept until reasonable times, went swimming, relaxed, made time for romantic things, that sort of thing. And we certainly didn’t set an agenda that we stressed out trying to meet. So I told him that this is the way we are when we’re on a trip…. even a day trip into Vermont. Particularly myself, who as a scholar spends a TON of time in my apartment, and as an outdoorsy person who lives in Upstate New York spends a TON of time going out of my mind indoors during the winter. And of course, he argued with me, then apologized to my girlfriend as I went to look at desserts, then argued with me when I returned—that’s what he does, because of a specific aspect of immature insecurity that’s not worth going into. I’m used to it. Nothing major…..

But after dinner, as we rode the monorail back to the Magic Kingdom and my girlfriend expressed her amusement at the whole matter, I matched us up against each other. “Team Fun,” I said: “Going back to the room. Team Manic: Headed for a great night inside the Magic Kingdom. 1 nil to Team Manic.” It was a refrain destined to be repeated for the remainder of the trip, beginning at Splash Mountain. “Team Fun: Watching T.V. at a hotel. Team Manic: Riding Splash Mountain.” And so on. Two legendary sides matched up in pitched battle, with the fate of the universe at stake.

Oh yeah, we were still in Disney World.

That night, of course, was wonderful, if far too short. We headed straight to Frontierland, and walked right onto the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. This is still a favorite of mine, and Jen absolutely loved it. During her last visit to Disney World, she was unable to ride it because her mother freaked out in line and headed out the chicken exit. Indeed, she missed out on pretty much all the thrill rides during that visit, and if her mother were with us this time, I fear we might not have gotten on any rollercoasters at all. In any case, the theming of Big Thunder Mountain is wonderful, and it is really special during the night. We sat a little behind the mid-point of the train, which meant that we had a reasonably wild ride, though I do wish that we had been able to sit in the very last car at least once during our visit.

After Big Thunder Mountain, we had another wonderful experience on Splash Mountain, which never lost its appeal regardless of how many times we rode it (and I can’t really calculate how many times it would take before it did). Then we headed over to Tomorrowland, where we rode the right side of Space Mountain (I am, by the way, convinced that the left version is wilder).

At this point, there was only about half an hour left before closing. Jen didn’t feel like going back on Space Mountain, and neither of us felt much like racing to another section of the park to squeeze in another ride. So we went on one of my favorite rides in all of Disney World, the PeopleMover! I can’t bring myself to call it the Tomorrowland Transportation Authority, by the way, which is sort of a crotchety bit of stubbornness to be sure, but nevertheless I love the charm of the original name. And well, just as always, there was no one waiting in line, and all we had to navigate was a few teenagers chatting with their cast member friend (who was working the attraction) and making fun of the ride. Alas the pretenses of youth, how little they know about this entirely un-thrilling yet wonderfully charming ride. I personally love moving about over the comings and goings of Tomorrowland, I think the addition of an insight into a secret target for Buzz Lightyear is really creative (even if we didn’t find occasion to use such information), the unique view of the lit-up castle from the ride is amazing, and my personal favorite part—the insider view of Space Mountain—is actually better than ever because Space Mountain is more lit up than it used to be (one ride’s pox is another’s treasure, it seems). For her part, Jen was wholeheartedly surprised at how much she enjoyed the ride….. I think that she trusted me when I told her it was great, but she didn’t believe that it would be as wonderful as it is.

After the PeopleMover, we decided not to cram something into the final 15 minutes of the night. Instead, we casually made our way to the entrance of the park. Instead of leaving, however, we walked up to the second floor of the train station. It was more or less abandoned (occasionally someone would come up briefly), and as such it was really quiet, as if it were our own space sectioned off entirely for our own enjoyment. We stayed up there for quite some time, in fact, taking pictures, watching the crowds as they exited the park, gazing at the castle as it changed colors and occasionally set of isolated fireworks, and in general enjoying each other after another wonderful day.

Finally we dragged ourselves out of the park, caught the bus back to the Beach Club, and retired to the room fairly quickly, Team Manic having exhausted themselves fairly completely. We needed our rest….. the next day was going to be the other of my favorite two days during our trip.

 

[DL55]

Team Manic!
When I go to WDW and want to stay in the room, someone please put me out of my misery! I'm glad they didn't damper your fun.

BTW after reading your installments I have to re log in, but they are very interesting.

 

[N10CJT]

Thanks for the cheerleading, DL! I'm glad you're enjoying the report.
I've made a small but key change to this installment. My girlfriend told me tonight, after reading the update, that it wasn't a girl who told her to say a wish in front of the castle, but a guy. Which is, of course, a whole lot funnier. So anyway, the adjustment has been made as regards that detail.

 

[DL55]

Thanks for the cheerleading, DL! I'm glad you're enjoying the report.
I've made a small but key change to this installment. My girlfriend told me tonight, after reading the update, that it wasn't a girl who told her to say a wish in front of the castle, but a guy. Which is, of course, a whole lot funnier. So anyway, the adjustment has been made as regards that detail.

For some reason I don't think of guys making wishes in front of the castle. Does that make me sexist?

 

[N10CJT]

For some reason I don't think of guys making wishes in front of the castle. Does that make me sexist?

I think it might. But then, being a little sexist probably helps to make the anecdote funnier, so I wouldn't worry.
Working on the next installment. A stack of papers got in my way!

 

[N10CJT]

Alright, here is is, the next installment! And of course it's another long one.... sorry DL!
This is the part of the trip where my own pictures come into play. So once I upload them off my hard drive to some place that the board will recognize, I should be able to add them later on.
As for those on my girlfriend's camera, well you'll have to get on her to transfer them!
In any case, I think I've got everything right on this one. We'll see if I'm right once Jen gets her chance to read through it.