The Bottom has fallen out

[sasywtch]

Thanks to all of you for the support. This winter break has just been everything but expected. I lost my mom on 12/11, had her service 12/14, overdosed on my Xanax and ambien on 12/15 and ended up hospitalized until this past Saturday. It's so difficult and what makes it especially hard is my sister doesn't understands these things at all.

Just to let you know, it is very common that others do not understand if they haven't gone through similar. Do not dwell on that as it is normal. I had severe agoraphobia and my now ex (not because of that) did not understand, did not sympathize, etc. My counselor at the time told me it is very common for those who have never suffered to understand. It doesn't mean they don't care or don't love you, it's just beyond their comprehension. It took me a long time to realize that and it was hurtful for awhile. Take care of yourself.

 

[Handbag Lady]

How about this?

You can come here and NOT open up any time you need to be with people and just not speak. You can just post and put a little dot in there and we'll know EXACTLY what it means. Like this:

.



See? Go and do and open up to your therapists and everyone else professionally who are helping you and do know that we here are here for you regardless and you don't have to talk here if you don't want to talk. But if you do, we love hearing from you, too. Either way.

I'm glad you're still here with us.

 

[keypooh90]

Thanks y'all. This is just so exhausting. And my sister who is my only surviving immediate family doesn't understand at all why it's so difficult for me to even get out of bed and why sometimes I'm so low I can't even talk. I am starting to journal again at the suggestion of my primary from treatment and am doing something called the butterfly project to try and stop self harming.

 

[keypooh90]

I finally had an assessment last night with a treatment center near my aunt and uncle's house where I've been living. I've been accepted into a partial hospitalization program for young adults! I might get to start as early as tomorrow. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, like recovery is finally possible. The assessment went really well and took about two hours. My aunt was with me the whole time and they talked to both of us. It's a real family centered environment. The program runs Monday-Friday from 9-4.

 

[Coonhound]

First of all your avatar makes me grin every time I see it.

Secondly, I am glad you are still here and you are fighting. That's good. Keep fighting. Don't give up.

Third. I wonder if maybe your sister is just scared.
For people who haven't experienced mental illness, they just dont fully get it. They may be very understanding and kind, but it's one of those things if you haven't gone through it yourself you just can't completely get. So your sister lost mom and now she almost lost her sister, her only immediate family left. Whether you're close or not, realizing you could lose the only person you have that connection to, that's a scary thing. I'm not saying any of this to try to make you feel differently about how she is treating you. I'm only saying it because I think sometimes people don't intend to be cruel but their own fears get in the way.

If you are not getting the support you need from your sister, just know that there are many, many people here who want to hear from you and want to encourage you. Keep coming here, we are pullin for you.

 

[NFLDERS]

Comfort and support here will keep you in prayer.

 

[bunny]

How long will you be in the partial hospitalization program? My son is in one right now and he is doing so much better. He has conversion disorder and spent three months in a wheelchair last fall. He has finally found the right mixture of physical therapy, behavioral therapy and meds. It has taken him six months but he finally seems to be heading in the right direction.

Hugs!!!! I have struggled with his issues so much, but I have to remember it is even harder for him. He is the person living through it as are you. As I keep telling him, your disorder is not you. You can overcome it. You deserve to be happy, because you are a great person. God loves you. Just be patient. The partial program has helped him tremendously. He is in a group of his peers who have similar problems and that helps him to realize he is not alone.

How old are you? My son is 15 and attends a school based partial.

 

[Coonhound]

I finally had an assessment last night with a treatment center near my aunt and uncle's house where I've been living. I've been accepted into a partial hospitalization program for young adults! I might get to start as early as tomorrow. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, like recovery is finally possible. The assessment went really well and took about two hours. My aunt was with me the whole time and they talked to both of us. It's a real family centered environment. The program runs Monday-Friday from 9-4.

And you having that positive outlook is a big accomplishment, it means you have abandoned the thought of hopelessness and are now clinging to the idea that life CAN get better.
I am happy for you. I know the saddest thing I ever heard from my wife was "I feel like it's never going to get better". Once she had a treatment plan in place her outlook improved, even before any therapy took place, simply because of having a renewed hope.
Stick with your treatment and keep that sense of hope alive.
I am So Glad you have gotten this renewed hope.
I noticed your signature says Lovatic. Remember what she says, stay strong.

 

[kimmar067]

....sometimes just 'talking' about it here on the DIS is good catharsis. You know that DISers always have an open ear and a figurative shoulder to cry on. I think it's wonderful that you have accepted your 'illness' for what it is - that's half the battle. The fact that you have gone for treatment makes you a fighter AND a survivor. I will keep you [and your mom] in my prayers. Stay strong - we are always here for you...

 

[minkydog]

I'm so proud of you. Your amazing mother raised an amazing daughter. Go forth and conquer!

 

[Dan Murphy]

Wonderful news, keypooh. So very proud of you. Very nice.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I'm so proud of you. Your amazing mother raised an amazing daughter. Go forth and conquer!

 

[Sgt Mickey]

 

[sunshinehighway]

First of all your avatar makes me grin every time I see it.

Secondly, I am glad you are still here and you are fighting. That's good. Keep fighting. Don't give up.

Third. I wonder if maybe your sister is just scared.
For people who haven't experienced mental illness, they just dont fully get it. They may be very understanding and kind, but it's one of those things if you haven't gone through it yourself you just can't completely get. So your sister lost mom and now she almost lost her sister, her only immediate family left. Whether you're close or not, realizing you could lose the only person you have that connection to, that's a scary thing. I'm not saying any of this to try to make you feel differently about how she is treating you. I'm only saying it because I think sometimes people don't intend to be cruel but their own fears get in the way.

If you are not getting the support you need from your sister, just know that there are many, many people here who want to hear from you and want to encourage you. Keep coming here, we are pullin for you.

I agree.

Op, I am sorry you are having such a difficult time.

Don't put blame on your sister though. She lost her mother too and she is probably very worried about you. She must be going through her own difficult time. It doesn't mean she doesn't care about you.

 

[jackemail]

Glad to hear about the program, and that you are working so hard at getting better.

 

[njmom47]

I just saw this thread and am sending many .

We have dealt with this in my family as well.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Thanks y'all. This is just so exhausting. And my sister who is my only surviving immediate family doesn't understand at all why it's so difficult for me to even get out of bed and why sometimes I'm so low I can't even talk. I am starting to journal again at the suggestion of my primary from treatment and am doing something called the butterfly project to try and stop self harming.

I think your sister is probably in her own kind of hell right now and unable to help you due to her own grief. You are both so young to be dealing with this type of devastation without at least one parent to help you through it. I'm so glad your aunt and uncle are there for you. Lean on them right now. They are probably better able to give you what you need than your sister is a this point in time. I hope you can find some relief at the partial hospitalization program. We care about you.

 

[keypooh90]

My aunt and uncle have been incredible. I graduate from college in May so I'll be living here with them until I move out into the job force. I'm waiting for a confirmation call back from the treatment facility to get a confirmed start date. As far as how long I'll be in it, I'll find that out once I actually start.

 

[kimmar067]

....we're all rootin' for ya....

 

[Deb in IA]

keypooh, we are all here for you and are pulling for you.

Partial hospitalization is an excellent program, and I am so glad you are getting help. Remember, it is always darkest before the dawn.

I know you miss your mom so much, but remember how hard she fought to live, and don't take life for granted.

Everyone deals with grief differently. Don't let your sister make you feel bad.

Sounds like your aunt is a wonderful person, and I'm glad she's helping you.

Take care.