The Bloat and Float 06 Cruise Report: Now The Truth Comes Out!

[FatherForce]

Thank you Melanie.

I don't know if rock, but I do roll.

 

[itgirl1002]

Hello FatherForce.

Just wanted to say thanks for sharing the TR with us! My husband and I are sailing on the 12/07 3 day wonder, and I am preparing myself now by reading everyone's TR's.

I know how you felt about the end of the cruise show. My son and I sailed on a 7 night Eastern sailing in June of '04, and that last night when the have all of the kids in the theater, it was great! When Mickey came in, thier little faces were lit with so much excitement. I was blubbering like an idiot - and trying to hide it until they did sign language for the M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E part. That was it, I was a goner!

Anyway, thanks again, and we just might cruise *with* the kids in '08!

 

[LCTsMom]

Amazing trip report FatherForce! Thanks for sharing your stories and pictures! Hope to meet you and SleepyDog in 2008, it'd be a blast!

Stay well and keep posting!!

 

[MommaForce]

Okay - I love my husband, but there a just a few FEW things I must clarify about his cruise report.
1 - The matching outfits? This is probably going to be the 4th year in a row that we use a picture taken of us in those outfits as the cover for our xmas/holiday (pc correct at all times) cards. Seriously. And see those shorts? They MATCH. I HAD to get them, and the only way you can tell that they match is if you look at the tag or one very small cargo pocket which has a little blue MM embroidered on it that matches the MM on our outfits. And I just wash our dresses, he sends his shirt to the CLEANERS, that's right - the cleaners. He has his shirt laundered expensively and by a PROFESSIONAL. He LOVES that shirt, he would have blubbered had it blown off the balcony on the cruise.

 

[MommaForce]

okay - maybe he doesn't LOVE that shirt, he only wears it on vacation when I ask him to, but still. And yes, I am a very lucky gal. Next post will be to make some clarifications regarding that Rasul experience we had.

 

[DisneyZell]

wow, and I thought my DW was feisty! Love it! adding a little intrigue to the story. FF, you should change the title of this one to "complete, but with some minor corrections coming from DW"!

 

[MommaForce]

FF doesn't know I am setting some records straight.
I have the utmost confidence he will figure it out soon, very soon.

 

[FatherForce]

My lovely and charming wife sometimes doesn't appreciate the subtle nuances to telling a story.

Sometimes you leave stuff out or use flowery prose to enhance a moment.

I am more than a bit concerened about what she's going to add to the Rasul though...

 

[firstmickey]

OMG...this is gonna be good!

 

[MommaForce]

Setting the record straight #2
First let me thank Zweihund for her TR about the Rasul - very helpful and funny.
Second - yes Dog and Doc were there, and I was a teeny bit embarrased but hey, like FF said, we are mommies and daddies who love each other very much.....VERY VERY much.

Okay - here goes.......
Here's what REALLY happened.
NO NOT THAT - you people are perverts. Here's the stuff I can tell you about that FF may have FORGOTTEN TO MENTION. Dum dum dum...

Those damn blue plastic shoes. Are you FLIPPIN' kidding me? Zweihund didn't even come close to giving a truly accurate description of the pain they would invoke. I don't have huge feet, it has been said of me that for my size I have freakishly small feet (I will always take that as a compliment, even though I know that in there, somewhere, someone has just delivered me an insult!) These things were invented for a very small oriental woman to wear. Seriously. My toes didn't even come close to coming out the end past the strap, therefore rendering my heel to hang off the back "lip" by at least an inch. FRICKIN OUCH. And then they had these "massage-torture" little bumps all over the sole of them they caused sooooo much pain, every step was "ouch, ow, owiee, yikes, ouch again" and that was just my left foot.
Anyhoo....arrive at destination making sure to clutch tightly closed that robe they give ya, HEY SPA PEOPLE - THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS "ONE SIZE FITS ALL". Especially if those persons are AMERICANS ON A CRUISE!! There my wonderful hubby is, experiencing the same foot and robe discomfort, but, love him to death, he has his swim trunks on. I have never been so proud of him. I really do love him, but at least he had the foresight to make sure that everyone he encountered from the dressing room to the Rasul room didn't see why mommies love daddies very much.
In we go with ginsu cheeks (he was right about that for sure) and she begins to explain the product.

MommaRant-when and why did they start calling this stuff "product"? And you can't even pluralize it. Let me put some product in your hair. Here is the product you will being using while in the Rasul. Let me sell you some product. Weird. Yes we all know someone "produced" the gels, ointments and unguents, but just call a spade a spade. Here is some gel-like crap that is going to make your hair very brittle that you will pay a butt-load for just to have to wash out tomorrow.

Sorry, I'm back.

So she explained the product. There was like 20 of them, but some of them were the same stuff only smelled different, and like Zweihund told us, we tried really really hard to remember the order, etc. But has FF mentioned that maybe, just maybe, we had already started our daily drinking regimin for the day? Well, we had. So we forgot it all.

And we did put stuff on each other. But the macabre-looking device? Has he never had to shower in junior high with one of those poles with 4 shower heads and no curtains. Just the big shower pipe in the middle of the tile covered floor. Sheesh. Really folks, that is all it was, only it only had 3 shower heads, but for each "station" there were 3 shower heads up and down. And they weren't really shower heads they were the STEAM heads. He's a goober.

So we go in there (Turkish Spa Room) and the steam starts coming out - FROM THE VERY BOTTOM NOZZLES. RIGHT AT YOUR FEET, YOUR FEET THAT YOU HAVE TAKEN THOSE DANG SLIDES OFF OF. SH*T that's hot. Run, don't walk back out and get those slides - seriously. Soon you can't see, but then you can, but we figured out that MommaForce can go out the door and push the button and make it start all over again.

Now FF says HE noticed bench numero 3 across from me first, but I was the one who said, when we were able to see again, HEY, why are there 3 benches in here? And FF says "well, the brochure did say $88 for up to 3 people" My brain went into overload "WHAT - NO WAY! 3 PEOPLE DOING RASUL - TOGETHER, AT THE SAME TIME, WITH PRODUCT? GROSS." More steam came, could not see creepy 3-way bench numbero 3 anymore, will not think about it.

And now comes the really important thing that FF forgot to tell you, but you'll have to wait just a bit for it. We made another important discovery: by our benches were 4 showerheads like the water spigots at some sinks that you press and water comes out for like 10 seconds. 2 aim at the top of your head and the other 2 aim at your torso, mid-section, whatever you call that middle place of your body. So I looked at one of mine, and I pushed it. Oooooh, nice cool water, not cold, very refreshing. Not bad, not bad at all, can live with this. Tell FF about it, he presses his, he likey too. So we are steaming and pressing those cool water buttons, and steaming, well you get it, when FF reaches down and goes "hey,what is this??" and he picks it up and he turns the spigot and he FREAKIN' HOSES ME WITH ICE COLD WATER FROM A REAL HOSE LAYING ALONG THE FLOOR. WELL FOLKS, WHEN ON A BOAT - CUSS LIKE A SAILOR!!!! I could not believe he did that, and I said (loudly) - "HEY, I don't think that is for people to use, I think it is for the spa people to wash all our "product" away from inside the spa YOU IDIOT"

MEN READING THIS - MommaForce TIP #1- women, especially wives do NOT, I repeat do NOT, like to be splashed, let alone HOSED with ice cold water. We do not mind getting wet, we actually do it on a daily basis, BUT ON OUR OWN TERMS. HELLOOOOOOOOO. People out there may respond freely to this little incident FF so conveniently forgot to mention!!!

I got over it, he felt bad (BETTER HAD), he rubbed more smelly product on me, he became uncongested, we stayed in much longer that we were supposed to, a good time was had by all and we were both ready to Party.
Woo Hoo - more drinks please!

 

[Jennifer48]

Bravo MommaForce!

 

[sleepydog25]

Setting the record straight #2
First let me thank Zweihund for her TR about the Rasul - very helpful and funny.
Second - yes Dog and Doc were there, and I was a teeny bit embarrased but hey, like FF said, we are mommies and daddies who love each other very much.....VERY VERY much.

Okay - here goes.......
Here's what REALLY happened.
NO NOT THAT - you people are perverts. Here's the stuff I can tell you about that FF may have FORGOTTEN TO MENTION. Dum dum dum...

Those damn blue plastic shoes. Are you FLIPPIN' kidding me? Zweihund didn't even come close to giving a truly accurate description of the pain they would invoke. I don't have huge feet, it has been said of me that for my size I have freakishly small feet (I will always take that as a compliment, even though I know that in there, somewhere, someone has just delivered me an insult!) These things were invented for a very small oriental woman to wear. Seriously. My toes didn't even come close to coming out the end past the strap, therefore rendering my heel to hang off the back "lip" by at least an inch. FRICKIN OUCH. And then they had these "massage-torture" little bumps all over the sole of them they caused sooooo much pain, every step was "ouch, ow, owiee, yikes, ouch again" and that was just my left foot.
Anyhoo....arrive at destination making sure to clutch tightly closed that robe they give ya, HEY SPA PEOPLE - THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS "ONE SIZE FITS ALL". Especially if those persons are AMERICANS ON A CRUISE!! There my wonderful hubby is, experiencing the same foot and robe discomfort, but, love him to death, he has his swim trunks on. I have never been so proud of him. I really do love him, but at least he had the foresight to make sure that everyone he encountered from the dressing room to the Rasul room didn't see why mommies love daddies very much.
In we go with ginsu cheeks (he was right about that for sure) and she begins to explain the product.

MommaRant-when and why did they start calling this stuff "product"? And you can't even pluralize it. Let me put some product in your hair. Here is the product you will being using while in the Rasul. Let me sell you some product. Weird. Yes we all know someone "produced" the gels, ointments and unguents, but just call a spade a spade. Here is some gel-like crap that is going to make your hair very brittle that you will pay a butt-load for just to have to wash out tomorrow.

Sorry, I'm back.

So she explained the product. There was like 20 of them, but some of them were the same stuff only smelled different, and like Zweihund told us, we tried really really hard to remember the order, etc. But has FF mentioned that maybe, just maybe, we had already started our daily drinking regimin for the day? Well, we had. So we forgot it all.

And we did put stuff on each other. But the macabre-looking device? Has he never had to shower in junior high with one of those poles with 4 shower heads and no curtains. Just the big shower pipe in the middle of the tile covered floor. Sheesh. Really folks, that is all it was, only it only had 3 shower heads, but for each "station" there were 3 shower heads up and down. And they weren't really shower heads they were the STEAM heads. He's a goober.

So we go in there (Turkish Spa Room) and the steam starts coming out - FROM THE VERY BOTTOM NOZZLES. RIGHT AT YOUR FEET, YOUR FEET THAT YOU HAVE TAKEN THOSE DANG SLIDES OFF OF. SH*T that's hot. Run, don't walk back out and get those slides - seriously. Soon you can't see, but then you can, but we figured out that MommaForce can go out the door and push the button and make it start all over again.

Now FF says HE noticed bench numero 3 across from me first, but I was the one who said, when we were able to see again, HEY, why are there 3 benches in here? And FF says "well, the brochure did say $88 for up to 3 people" My brain went into overload "WHAT - NO WAY! 3 PEOPLE DOING RASUL - TOGETHER, AT THE SAME TIME, WITH PRODUCT? GROSS." More steam came, could not see creepy 3-way bench numbero 3 anymore, will not think about it.

And now comes the really important thing that FF forgot to tell you, but you'll have to wait just a bit for it. We made another important discovery: by our benches were 4 showerheads like the water spigots at some sinks that you press and water comes out for like 10 seconds. 2 aim at the top of your head and the other 2 aim at your torso, mid-section, whatever you call that middle place of your body. So I looked at one of mine, and I pushed it. Oooooh, nice cool water, not cold, very refreshing. Not bad, not bad at all, can live with this. Tell FF about it, he presses his, he likey too. So we are steaming and pressing those cool water buttons, and steaming, well you get it, when FF reaches down and goes "hey,what is this??" and he picks it up and he turns the spigot and he FREAKIN' HOSES ME WITH ICE COLD WATER FROM A REAL HOSE LAYING ALONG THE FLOOR. WELL FOLKS, WHEN ON A BOAT - CUSS LIKE A SAILOR!!!! I could not believe he did that, and I said (loudly) - "HEY, I don't think that is for people to use, I think it is for the spa people to wash all our "product" away from inside the spa YOU IDIOT"

MEN READING THIS - MommaForce TIP #1- women, especially wives do NOT, I repeat do NOT, like to be splashed, let alone HOSED with ice cold water. We do not mind getting wet, we actually do it on a daily basis, BUT ON OUR OWN TERMS. HELLOOOOOOOOO. People out there may respond freely to this little incident FF so conveniently forgot to mention!!!

I got over it, he felt bad (BETTER HAD), he rubbed more smelly product on me, he became uncongested, we stayed in much longer that we were supposed to, a good time was had by all and we were both ready to Party.
Woo Hoo - more drinks please!

Dear God:
Please do not let Doc see this. She will get ideas.
Thanks.
Sleepy

 

[Disneygrl36]

Love the additions by Mommaforce . Gotta get both sides to the story.
Note to self........if I write a trippie.......don't tell DH so he cannot come & comment (rat me out).

 

[DocLovesDis]

SleepyDog:

Dear God:
Please do not let Doc see this. She will get ideas.
Thanks.
Sleepy

TOO LATE, honey


MotherForce - Great clarification. What would our husbands do without us?

 

[zweihund]

MamaForce,

First let me open by saying and then and then !!!

 

[Ski-and-Sea]

Mamaforce.....don't stop there!!!!

We want your version of the whole trip!!!!!

 

[APinCA]

MommaForce,

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

I was so sad when FF was finished . And sooo happy to see the story continue! Please feel free to give your side of the whole trip!

Rasul question: Would you do it again?

 

[firstmickey]

MommaForce,

Rasul question: Would you do it again?

I bet she says yes ....as long as that hose doesn't reappear!


Too Funny MommaForce!

 

[FatherForce]

Oh, she's a laugh riot!

Honestly, it makes me happy that I've sucked her into the black hole of TRs as well.

And just to clarify: I had completely forgoten about the hose incident!

Apparently, she hadn't.

 

[sleepydog25]

Oh, she's a laugh riot!

Honestly, it makes me happy that I've sucked her into the black hole of TRs as well.

And just to clarify: I had completely forgoten about the hose incident!

Apparently, she hadn't.

They never forget. Your 85th birthday party roast will start something like this: "FatherForce and I have been married many years, but I'll never forget that time he doused me with cold water on that Disney cruise. . .and that came after he had a Showerbeer."