Chapter Twelve: Every Evening Brings an Ending
We had lunch plans at Garden Grill. We discovered this place last year and really enjoyed it. I’m happy to report that it was very good again this year. And we got a good table and good character attention as well.
It was all good.
Even though I hate when people say that because it usually is in response to some inadvertent offense you’ve committed, such as:
“When’s the baby due?”
“I’m not pregnant!”
“Oh. I am soooooo sorry.”
“It’s ok. It’s all good.”
I usually interpret that to mean, “eat it and die, jerkstore!”
But Garden Grill actually was all good. Except for the service. It was bad.
Really bad. Generic Fruit Loops bad. Waiting more than 30 minutes for the bus bad. Having some trite expression like “have a happy Friday” flung at you bad. Cauliflower bad. Unsweetened tea bad. Decaffeinated coffee bad. Disney coffee bad. Auburn bad. Losing to Louisiana Monroe bad. Steaming pile of puke bad. Joan Rivers facelift bad. Democratic control of both houses of Congress bad.
Well, not
THAT bad.
But eventually we got our food and eventually we got refills. The tea at GG is no longer sweetened. You have to add your own sweetener. Which will NOT be Sour 'n High. Don’t even think about it unless you’re packing your own. After waiting more than 10 minutes for our waitress to make one of her periodic guest appearances at our table, we stopped another server and asked her if she could bring us some Equal. She eventually did and we were so grateful, we asked Dale to show her some chipmunk love. Which he did.
The food was good. If you like that kind of thing. Which we do.
I mean, it wasn’t as good as the Hess Station, but then again, it wasn’t a holiday dinner either.
Although the Garden Grill no longer serves sweet tea, the restaurant was spinning again. So the universe was righted I suppose. As we swung past the farm house set, I noticed that the second floor window was open and you could see in the room. It was fully dressed which was pretty darn cool. The picture doesn’t do it justice, but I stood at the railing for a minute or two checking it out. They could have just drawn the blinds and been done with it. That Disney fully dressed the room for our viewing was sweet. Unlike the tea.
Baby ZZUB got her first up close with Mickey Mouse at Garden Grill. She was very interested in him and, like many babies, she wanted a good suck on his nose. But her Mamma but the kibosh on that in a hurry. So Baby Z didn’t get to taste Mickey’s nose but she did get to touch it. We have a sweet as all get out picture of Baby Z holding Mickey’s nose with both of her chubby little hands while ZZUBY looks on with a smile as big as Spaceship Earth. Because ZZUBY's a great big sister.
After we finished lunch, I noticed the skies through the Land skylight were dark. And rain was falling hard. We decided to hang back a bit and live at The Land. And drink more unsweetened tea.
Eventually, we waddled out of there and ZZUBY found the EPCOT Coloring Spot. She pulled up a chair and got busy with the markers. While she was coloring, I overheard one of the 800 New Jersey families there that week talking about lunch at the Garden Grill. They were waiting for their ADR time. And wondering what was on the menu. I’m Helpful ZZUB, so I leaned over towards one of the guys and gave him the menu rundown. He thanked me and then I heard him bark at his wife, “Hey! The mayn sed they got steak, turkey and fish.”
I walked over to Mrs. ZZUB and said, “Hey, I’m the mayn!”
“No you’re not,” she said.
“Yeah, I am. That guy called me The Mayn.”
She was less impressed than I was. But for the rest of the day, I made my whole family call me, “The Mayn.” I wouldn’t answer to anything else.
Except, of course, “Oh Captain, my Captain.”
We strollered up and headed to the dumbest named ride in all of Disneydom: the Seas with Nemo & Friends.
Seriously.
It has the DUMBEST name. Why not just call it the Have a Happy Friday ride? If you can identify a ride with a dumber sounding name, then I will mail you a check for $500 ducks.
It’ll be a post dated, third party, out of state, temporary check drafted in red ink, but I’ll send it anyway.
The ride itself isn’t unpleasant. I thought the queue was interesting and the clamobiles look like something out of the Flintstones.
I love me some Flintstones. For the obvious reasons.
And because of that, the clamobile was the best part of the ride.
Riddle me this: why were we riding in clams? I don’t remember any clams in
Finding Nemo. Not a one.
Maybe I think about these things too much?
After the Seas, we went to talk with Crush. Only Crush didn’t sound at all like Crush. Not at all. Which made ZZUBY ask later what was wrong with him.
“Head cold,” I said. “Maybe one of Nemo’s friends sneezed on him.”
We juggied on out of the Seas and split up. ZZUBY and I headed to Test Track for her to give it a try and Mrs. Z took the baby to head to her favorite ride: the Baby Care Center.
I’d been trying to prepare ZZUBY for her first ride on Test Track. For months, I would take turns quickly, accelerate hard and randomly shout, “You’re not Ron!” and “Vote for Pedro!”
But the rubber was about to meet the road. (Even I’m groaning at that lame pun). As we stood in the prep room, I told her that the video was supposed to be funny and she shouldn’t be afraid. It’s all make believe. I also reminded her that she wouldn’t get hurt. I was holding her and I could feel her hands tighten on my neck as she watched the video. I didn’t give her an out. I didn’t say, “If you don’t want to do this, let me know.” I knew what she’d do if I said that. Instead, I kept telling her how much she was going to love it and how it was just like riding in Daddy's car. Only it wouldn't have a roof. And it would be a little funky smelling. And there'd be three strangers riding along with us.
Also: think of the big prize you’re gonna get for riding Test Track.
Because I’ve found that bribery works. No offense, Congressman Jefferson.
We got seated and I double, triple and quadruple checked her seatbelt for her. As the ride started, I reminded her it was ok to scream. Unless you’re in space where nobody can hear you.
She was ok at first, but during the braking test, she said, “Daddy! I don’t want any more curves.”
Gulp.
I said, “Honey, we can’t get off the ride right now. Just hang onto my arm. It’ll get better.”
I pointed out stuff in the hot room and the cold room to try to distract her. But when we came around the corner towards the big speed finish, I was thinking this might have been a mistake. I told her, “ok, we’re about to go really fast at those doors, but they’ll open. Don’t worry, they’re gonna open.”
I hoped like heck this wasn’t the time the stupid ride malfunctions and the doors don’t open. It has to happen for the first time eventually. I hoped it wouldn’t be then. Because not only would we be injured, but then ZZUBY would think I lied to her. Can’t have that.
As we accelerated towards the doors, she let out a little whimpering noise. I said, “Scream like you mean it!”
And oh boy, did she ever!
She hit notes that would make Ella blush. If Ella is still alive.
If she’s dead, then ZZUBY’s scream surely woke her up.
She screamed all the way down the straight-away, all the way around the loop, all the way back and all the way around the building. She stopped with the braking.
Scream. Brake. Scream. Brake. Scream. Brake.
When the cacophony finally died down I asked her if she liked it. She said she did. I asked her if she wanted to go again. She did not.
So we got out, went and looked at our picture and then after a brief tour of the Test Track dump shop, we headed to Mouse Gear to get her a prize. We were in MG only a few minutes when I reached for my cell phone to call my wife.
And realized it was gone.
I turned around. And around to see if it was on the ground. I felt each of the 27 pockets on my big boy shorts. Nothing. I stopped to think about the last time I remembered seeing it and it was before Test Track. So we headed back there.
As we hastily made our way back towards the exit of the dump shop, ZZUBY said, “Daddy, I know how you feel. I lost something too.”
I asked first at the counter in the shop and they didn’t have it. They sent me up to the ride. I continued praying as we walked. Phones can be replaced, but the thought of having to replace it was making me itchy. Once we got back up to the end of the ride, I asked the CM if anyone found a phone. After I described it for her, they went and retrieved it.
If only our search for Coconut had been as fruitful.
If I was amazed by ZZUBY's empathy for my anxiety, and I was, I was even more amazed that she was so excited for me to find my phone. She’s got so much of her mamma.
Mrs. Z was still in the Baby Care Center, so we told her we’d meet her in Mexico.
I like that pavilion. It’s the Mexico of my childhood. Not that I grew up in Mexico or even visited there. But my grandparents did and brought me back a flashlight. Because the best flashlights are made in Mexico? Anyway, the EPCOT pavilion reminds me of their slides.
Yes, slides.
The ride in the Mexico pavilion exists for one reason. To make Maelstrom look interesting. The new Three Caballero version is actually worse than the one which preceded it. Worse! What kind of bizarro world do we live in when they improve rides and make them even more tedious? I was vicariously offended for Mexicans everywhere.
After the ride, ZZUBY and I looked for a flashlight. Unable to find one, we took pictures with sombreros on our heads.
Then we met up with my wife and began a walk around the World Showcase. We made our way to the American Adventure and walked in just in time to catch the next show. I’ve written about this experience before, so I won’t belabor it here. Except to say this.
The new ending to Golden Dream had a surprising impact upon me. There are some images now which are so powerful that they awaken in me almost the same thoughts I had the first time I saw them. The image of the Towers in ruins evokes an almost visceral response.
And that’s all I want to say about that.
We headed towards Morocco for dinner. Before this trip, we decided we’d try some new counter service places in World Showcase. I’d read good things about Morocco. I liked my dinner but no one else with me did. So I don’t imagine we’ll be eating there again. Which is a shame. The baklava was Tonga Toast good. I ate three pieces of it.
After dinner, while the baby got her dipper changed, I took a few shots of EPCOT at dusk.
As we walked around the World Showcase, the music of one country would fill our ears until it faded in the distance and we were immersed in the sounds and sights of the next place. EPCOT at night is a happy place. People come and go speaking of Michelangelo. There’s excitement. Some people are rushing to dinner at Le Cellier or Coral Reef, excited about the meal they are about to enjoy. Others are walking quickly towards Soarin’ or Test Track, eager to use fastpasses from earlier in the day. Still others are finding their perfect spot for Illuminations. And some people are just walking slowly through the world, savoring the time.
We finally made our way to a spot for Illuminations. My wife took the baby up to the Baby Care Center and ZZUBY and I enjoyed some well-earned ice-cream. We made friends with the people standing around us. We talked about rides and food and the great firework show which was about to begin.
There was a faint breeze blowing off the lake and it felt good on my face. My daughter was having a time with the little girl she befriended. I wasn’t listening to their conversation but every so often I could hear somethings. “Test Track was fun, but kinda scary.” “My Dad and I like Soarin’ too.” “We’re staying at Wilderness Lodge.” Things like that.
I was answering questions for the guy next to me. He and his wife had been to Disney only one time before but never seen Wishes! or Illuminations. Which was better? Hard to say. I like them both but for different reasons. They had just arrived that day. Whole trip ahead of them. We had most of our trip left before us as well.
Where else in life do we talk to total strangers?
The pre-show music has an international sound. It’s diverse. It occurs to me that in any other setting I probably wouldn’t like it. It’s not my taste. But because it’s at EPCOT, I enjoy it immensely. I worried for a bit that our spot wasn’t ideal. Would we be able to see the globe? Is it even necessary to see it? I used to be anti-globe. Thought it was dispensable in a show that was better in the air than on the water. I’ve now become pro-globe. I’ve come to appreciate the other elements of Illuminations.
As the show was set to begin, I reminded ZZUBY to blow out the torch nearest to us. She thinks that’s fun and enlists her new friend to help her blow out the torch. And then it begins. A loud scream and the first firework shells launch up above. And although the show lasts almost twelve minutes it goes by in an instant. As it flashes in front of me, I notice all kinds of new elements I’d never seen before. Maybe they’re new. Maybe I’ve just moved my eyes to a different place during this fantastical three ring extravaganza. Illuminations is at once new and familiar, thrilling and nostalgic.
At the end of the day, I’m a simple guy with decidedly unrefined tastes. Eating baklava at the Moroccan pavilion is about as close as I come to having an adventurous palate. And standing by the water with my little girl watching Illuminations is as close as I’ve come to happy this side of Heaven.
I listen to the music sometimes as I drive along in my car. I listen to it and I ache to be back there, watching the show with my family, sharing the experience with thousands of other people.
And if you’re reading this, reading this months long summary of a week’s vacation, I’m confident you know exactly what I’m talking about.
And I reckon you agree, too.
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Click Here For Chapter Thirteen:
Just kidding. I think it's about time for an update. There's nothing on TV tonight so get busy!
)
That and WISHES gets me *right here*.
Wonderful as usual! Thanks!
