DAY 5 - MONDAY
I wake at 5.30 today. WOW - a lay-in!
Coffee and some very strange white powdery donuts on the "master" balcony. There's that "honking" noise again - must find out what it is!
A bloke on Bay News 9 says that Bubba Clamp it still favourite in the running for Sheriff - what a great name - didn't he have a shrimp boat with old Forest Gump?
More of those "healthy" Pop Tarts for breakfast. We don't want to swim on a full stomach do we? Well - yes - actually I do! Nobody listens!
We set off for Typhoon Lagoon and I am forced to pass by the Ponderosa - the manager rushes out to greet me in the usual manner and breaks down in tears as I solemnly drive by!
We arrive at 9.45 at Typhoon Lagoon and manage to secure a nice shady parking space for "Happy" right at the front. We join about fifty or so others and are ushered in on time.
Now the last time we came here in 2002 we had the whole family (all eight) and we brought with us the entire contents of the four bed villa!
Having learned a thing or two about this - we are travelling very light this time. Just a pair of pants, one of those little plastic things on a string to put your keys in and a towel to be precise.
This enables us to get a locker and go straight to the rides while the world and his wife are still looking for that elusive shady spot for their deckchairs.
I love this place. I think that it's actually my favourite park. The theming, the landscape and the music (Beachboys) playing in the background just creates a really nice atmosphere. The first glimpse of the pool - the sound of that first wave coming - the look of horror on the face of the big fat lady who is trying to escape as the wave bears down on her!
Its sun, sand and fake sea as only Disney knows how.
Gang Plank Falls is our first stop. Wow - that water under the first waterfall is a bit chilly. Then it's Keelhaul and Mayday on the rubber rings followed by a trip around the Lazy River and a quick "body surf" in the Wave pool before heading off to Shark Reef.
Those of you who read my trip reports from 2002 will possibly recall that my DW actually filed an official complaint with the local police stating that I had deliberately tried to drown her in this "fish tank" last time.
Since then - she has been practicing in the bath with a snorkel (At least I think thats what it was!) and as we enter the water she sails off without a second thought. Like Jacques Cousteau on speed in a paddling pool!
Princess Perfect can't find a "Barbie Pink" Snorkel that goes with her bikini. Apparently there is a conspiracy in Disney that means that all of the snorkels she tries are leaking and all of the good ones have been given to all the other people. She has a major strop and refuses to swim at all.
DS on the other hand surges forth like a blue whale - using the snorkel like a blow-hole to expel excess air and water (hence the Moby-Rick nick name).
And me - well - what can I say (quite a lot actually). If you have ever watched the synchronised swimming on the TV then you will have some idea of the grace - the beauty - the style - it's a sight to behold. A ripple of spontaneous applause breaks out as I emerge from the other side of the pool - a bit like Ursula Andress in that Bond film. I do believe that I even heard a gasp of admiration from the fish. Of course it could have had something to do with the fact that on the way across I snagged my trunks on the big rock in the middle of the pool and I am now wearing nothing but a small plastic box on a string which contains $4.00 and a car key!
We decide to leave (before we are asked!) at 1.45 and head back to Bahama Bay. We snooze/eat/watch TV depending on age (DS manages all three at once) until 5.00 and then head to Downtown Disney for the evening.
We dine at another of Disney's finest restaurants (McDonald's!) and then head for the shops. DW splashes out on a Mickey Aerial Topper ($3.99) and I drool over the fabulous works of art in the Disney Art shop. I make another mental note regarding a Lottery win and a private jet to come back and purchase a couple! I love the one with Christopher Robin, Winnie the Pooh and Piglet playing "Pooh sticks" on the bridge. (DW actually bought this for me for my Christmas present this year - she's not all bad).
DS - bless him - experiences his first orgasm at the fudge counter of the Candy Cauldron! I later find him outside lighting a cigarette and muttering "how was it for you?" to his chocolate bars. (Did I mention that he has a bit of a sweet tooth?)
We while away a couple of hours in Disney Quest on the VR machines - River Raft, Pirates of the Caribbean, Aladdin and a sword fighting type game. Then we enter something that resembles a bunch of drunken Daleks having a kick about in a basketball court! I can't remember the name of it but it involved running over balls and then blasting them at one of the other Daleks. Very weird! I took the opportunity to let my DW drive during this "farce" and made good use of the chance to tell her where all the balls were - after she has passed by them! HA!
Then we design a virtual roller coaster on a computer. This was quite good fun until I realised that we then had to actually ride the coaster we had built (not recommended on a full stomach again!). You go into a little pod type thing and it simulates the coaster that you designed. I really do wish that I had put less of those loop-the-loops in and more straight bits! I'm tempted to buy the video but while my body wants to walk straight - my legs are going in the opposite directions and I find myself in a heap outside the building. Oh well - maybe next time.
Walking back through Pleasure Island I do my best to embarrass Princess Perfect and begin dancing with her across the square. It's a cross between "The Bump" and the "ketchup song". Quite stylish I thought! It works a treat and she runs all the way back to the car. Later that evening she fashions a big poster on a stick saying "Adopted".
We "sniff" our way through the "Basin Shop" with all those strange looking soaps. "What's this Dad" asks DS - "its soap" I reply in a sarcastic tone. "Yeah but what is it?" he persists "It's a waxy block of concentrated material used to aid the washing process and promote fresh smelling body parts" I retort even more sarcastically. "Hmm - maybe I'll try that one day" he says. (Well - it's a start!)
We almost die laughing at the dog outfits in Disney Pets. I can just picture the look on our dog "Roger" as I walk him round the neighbourhood dressed as Buzz Lightyear. Complete humiliation for animals!
Back home I decide to take a swim in the Olympic size bath in our "Master" en-suite before getting to bed at 10.30.
Weather channel says tomorrow will be hot and sunny with rain in the afternoon. That will make a pleasant change!
Night all -
I dream of being chased by a Dalek while fish nibble at my tender bits.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I wake at 5.30 today. WOW - a lay-in!
Coffee and some very strange white powdery donuts on the "master" balcony. There's that "honking" noise again - must find out what it is!
A bloke on Bay News 9 says that Bubba Clamp it still favourite in the running for Sheriff - what a great name - didn't he have a shrimp boat with old Forest Gump?
More of those "healthy" Pop Tarts for breakfast. We don't want to swim on a full stomach do we? Well - yes - actually I do! Nobody listens!
We set off for Typhoon Lagoon and I am forced to pass by the Ponderosa - the manager rushes out to greet me in the usual manner and breaks down in tears as I solemnly drive by!
We arrive at 9.45 at Typhoon Lagoon and manage to secure a nice shady parking space for "Happy" right at the front. We join about fifty or so others and are ushered in on time.
Now the last time we came here in 2002 we had the whole family (all eight) and we brought with us the entire contents of the four bed villa!
Having learned a thing or two about this - we are travelling very light this time. Just a pair of pants, one of those little plastic things on a string to put your keys in and a towel to be precise.
This enables us to get a locker and go straight to the rides while the world and his wife are still looking for that elusive shady spot for their deckchairs.
I love this place. I think that it's actually my favourite park. The theming, the landscape and the music (Beachboys) playing in the background just creates a really nice atmosphere. The first glimpse of the pool - the sound of that first wave coming - the look of horror on the face of the big fat lady who is trying to escape as the wave bears down on her!
Its sun, sand and fake sea as only Disney knows how.
Gang Plank Falls is our first stop. Wow - that water under the first waterfall is a bit chilly. Then it's Keelhaul and Mayday on the rubber rings followed by a trip around the Lazy River and a quick "body surf" in the Wave pool before heading off to Shark Reef.
Those of you who read my trip reports from 2002 will possibly recall that my DW actually filed an official complaint with the local police stating that I had deliberately tried to drown her in this "fish tank" last time.
Since then - she has been practicing in the bath with a snorkel (At least I think thats what it was!) and as we enter the water she sails off without a second thought. Like Jacques Cousteau on speed in a paddling pool!
Princess Perfect can't find a "Barbie Pink" Snorkel that goes with her bikini. Apparently there is a conspiracy in Disney that means that all of the snorkels she tries are leaking and all of the good ones have been given to all the other people. She has a major strop and refuses to swim at all.
DS on the other hand surges forth like a blue whale - using the snorkel like a blow-hole to expel excess air and water (hence the Moby-Rick nick name).
And me - well - what can I say (quite a lot actually). If you have ever watched the synchronised swimming on the TV then you will have some idea of the grace - the beauty - the style - it's a sight to behold. A ripple of spontaneous applause breaks out as I emerge from the other side of the pool - a bit like Ursula Andress in that Bond film. I do believe that I even heard a gasp of admiration from the fish. Of course it could have had something to do with the fact that on the way across I snagged my trunks on the big rock in the middle of the pool and I am now wearing nothing but a small plastic box on a string which contains $4.00 and a car key!
We decide to leave (before we are asked!) at 1.45 and head back to Bahama Bay. We snooze/eat/watch TV depending on age (DS manages all three at once) until 5.00 and then head to Downtown Disney for the evening.
We dine at another of Disney's finest restaurants (McDonald's!) and then head for the shops. DW splashes out on a Mickey Aerial Topper ($3.99) and I drool over the fabulous works of art in the Disney Art shop. I make another mental note regarding a Lottery win and a private jet to come back and purchase a couple! I love the one with Christopher Robin, Winnie the Pooh and Piglet playing "Pooh sticks" on the bridge. (DW actually bought this for me for my Christmas present this year - she's not all bad).
DS - bless him - experiences his first orgasm at the fudge counter of the Candy Cauldron! I later find him outside lighting a cigarette and muttering "how was it for you?" to his chocolate bars. (Did I mention that he has a bit of a sweet tooth?)
We while away a couple of hours in Disney Quest on the VR machines - River Raft, Pirates of the Caribbean, Aladdin and a sword fighting type game. Then we enter something that resembles a bunch of drunken Daleks having a kick about in a basketball court! I can't remember the name of it but it involved running over balls and then blasting them at one of the other Daleks. Very weird! I took the opportunity to let my DW drive during this "farce" and made good use of the chance to tell her where all the balls were - after she has passed by them! HA!
Then we design a virtual roller coaster on a computer. This was quite good fun until I realised that we then had to actually ride the coaster we had built (not recommended on a full stomach again!). You go into a little pod type thing and it simulates the coaster that you designed. I really do wish that I had put less of those loop-the-loops in and more straight bits! I'm tempted to buy the video but while my body wants to walk straight - my legs are going in the opposite directions and I find myself in a heap outside the building. Oh well - maybe next time.
Walking back through Pleasure Island I do my best to embarrass Princess Perfect and begin dancing with her across the square. It's a cross between "The Bump" and the "ketchup song". Quite stylish I thought! It works a treat and she runs all the way back to the car. Later that evening she fashions a big poster on a stick saying "Adopted".
We "sniff" our way through the "Basin Shop" with all those strange looking soaps. "What's this Dad" asks DS - "its soap" I reply in a sarcastic tone. "Yeah but what is it?" he persists "It's a waxy block of concentrated material used to aid the washing process and promote fresh smelling body parts" I retort even more sarcastically. "Hmm - maybe I'll try that one day" he says. (Well - it's a start!)
We almost die laughing at the dog outfits in Disney Pets. I can just picture the look on our dog "Roger" as I walk him round the neighbourhood dressed as Buzz Lightyear. Complete humiliation for animals!
Back home I decide to take a swim in the Olympic size bath in our "Master" en-suite before getting to bed at 10.30.
Weather channel says tomorrow will be hot and sunny with rain in the afternoon. That will make a pleasant change!
Night all -
I dream of being chased by a Dalek while fish nibble at my tender bits.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I still haven't been to Typhoon Lagoon - must rectify that in October.
