The “What Exit Are You From?” Trip Report – Magic 11/4/06 (NEW POST 12/10)

[lindaso]

“Your wife wouldn’t happen to be Linda, would it?” As I made this inquiry, the guy from Washington again moved further away from me.

Clearly unsure whether he should confirm his wife’s identity and probably not wanting to be rude, he stammered out a “Yeah.” This turned out to be lindaso’s husband. Linda, if you’re reading along, ask Chuck whether he thought, at least for a moment, that you had an Internet stalker. I hadn’t met an actual DIS-er, but I had met the next best thing – a DIS-er spouse. It was like finding a Hidden Mickey.

OMG, I can picture the exact look on his face! His answer is YES to the internet stalker.

Us Dads got along pretty well on the Budget shuttle and when we arrived at the cruise terminal joked that we should all head over to the Carnival ship for a real week of rest and relaxation. (Except Chuck, he said no such thing. He couldn’t stop talking about how much he missed his wife and kids for the 15 minutes they were apart.)

Of course I don't believe you but I know that he never would have suggested getting on the Carnival ship...he didn't want to get on any ship!

Another wonderful installment. Can't wait to hear the rest.

 

[jsfein]

As I rose the escalators and the second floor of the cruise terminal came into view, the scene looked like complete pandemonium. There were long snaking lines to my left where passengers were presumably checking in, people were camped out all along the right side of the terminal on seats and on the ground, and kids were zipping around everywhere.

Within moments I spotted Spanky cruising around on the electric cart vehicle (the scooter) I had rented for him for the cruise. It was a relief to see that the scooter had arrived as promised (thank you Brevard Medical Equipment). Without it, Spanky would not have survived the week.

I found Karen and the kids hanging out on the ground with coloring books and playing cards, and the grandmas were resting in chairs. Everything appeared to be under control and I promptly retook possession of folder.

Me to Karen, “Are we all checked in?”

Karen to me, “Yes.”

Me to Karen, “Any problems.”

Karen to me, “No.”

Me to Karen, “Did you already take photos of the kids in the cruise terminal?”

Karen to me, “No.”

Me to Karen, “Then why are you sitting around playing cards?”

Karen to me, THE LOOK followed by A FLIPPING OF THE BIRD.

Before that escalated any further, the kids were complaining they were hungry so I walked on over to the snack bar. As I approached the snack bar, I observed two lines. One huge line with lots of moms and kids, and one very short line. Whew, the short line was for the snack bar. Wonder what the long line was for?

I ordered my waters and snacks and handed the cashier a $20. (For those keeping score, both gentleman working the snack bar were from NJ.) “We don’t take cash, sir. Do you have your Key To The World card?” No cash? My what?

Like most DIS-ers, I am an obsessive planner. However, I am only obsessive about the details that interest me. If I’m not interested in a particular subject, I skip it. Key To The World cards was a subject I must have skipped when I did my cruise research.

“Have you checked in sir? Do you have your card?”

I left the snack bar line to find Karen. First, I gave her THE LOOK and asked if she happened to receive a card with my name on it when she checked us in. A few moments later, with card in hand, I had made my first charge to my KTTW account. Yippee!!

Me to Karen, “When you checked in, did you find out what that long line is for next to the snack bar?”

Karen to me, “No.”

Me to Karen, “When were you planning on doing so?”

Karen to me, THE LOOK followed by TWO BIRDS. Our cruise was off to a MAGICal start.

We walked on over and chatted up a nice woman in a yellow shirt. For other first timers out there like us, yellow shirt crewmembers = youth activity team counselors. I explained that we had preregistered the kids on-line. She instructed that we still needed to check the kids in so that they could receive their bracelets. Another detail I didn’t know about and must have overlooked.

While we were waiting on this line, dads were handing moms and kids KTTW holders that they were purchasing at the snack bar. I thought to myself that I needed to get a hold of one of those. Even though every pair of shorts and bathing suits I had brought with me had pockets, I would look so uncool if I didn’t have a KTTW holder.

What I didn’t know at the time, but came to find out later in the cruise, is that there is a caste system to KTTW holders. Your type of KTTW holder indicates how important you are.

At the bottom of the caste system are first time cruisers (like me) who actually purchase (as opposed to receive for free) a KTTW holder at the cruise terminal snack bar. This KTTW holder is a basic, non-descript lanyard with the DCL logo stitched in. I saw lots of people wearing these KTTW holders on the first couple days of the cruise, but as they realized that these KTTW holders pegged you at the bottom of the caste, they were displayed less and less frequently as the week progressed.

The middle of the caste system are DVC owners who have a special DVC KTTW holder.

At the top of the caste system are Castaway Cay members. These elitists have KTTW lanyards whose straps are twice as thick as the lanyard I bought at the snack shop. Castaway Cay members proudly displayed their lanyards for the entire week and are probably still wearing their lanyards today, a week after the cruise ended.

The kids club locator bracelet was a problem. Eva did not want to wear it. It itched, it hurt, it was too big, it was ugly. She was miserable. I really couldn’t blame her. I wouldn’t want that clunky thing around my wrist 24/7 for the next week. I’m surprised that something less burdensome is not available.

We still needed photos and Mickey had arrived. I tried to get the kids psyched for a Mickey photo, but had no takers. So I got in line by myself. Just as it became my turn, Karen corralled the kids and we got our photo. It turned out to be a pretty good one, despite their sour attitudes at the moment.

At 11:45 am boarding began. I was extremely agitated to get on board as quickly as I could to get the Palo reservations that I was shut out from at 2 am on my 75th day before we cruised (thanks a lot Castaway Cay members). Spanky and my mom were let on with the concierge guests due to his disability. I instructed them to meet us at Topsiders.

The layout of the ship was another detail I had skipped during my cruise planning. Maps and diagrams are not my thing. I'm more of a see and feel kind of person. Though I told Spanky and my mom to meet us at Topsiders, I couldn’t tell them where it was because I didn’t know.

We were in Boarding Group 3. Here’s our embarkation photo.

Don’t we look happy?

Another small detail I missed is the way your name is announced when you board the ship. I didn’t realize that I would first whisper my name to a crewmember who would then repeat it over the microphone. I may has well just taken the microphone and done it myself. But we were applauded and treated like royalty and it was nice.

And then they appeared. Crewmembers with pins. It didn’t take long at all. This provided the perfect opportunity for an escape. I left Karen, Bobbie and the pin trading kids and shot over to Rockin’ Bar D to take care of my Palo reservations and to change my dining rotation to APL … no problem at all.

I found the gang sitting outside of Topsiders enjoying lunch. Boy, the food looked good, but I couldn’t eat yet. The boys wanted burgers and tacos and Spanky wanted a hot dog. Off to Pluto’s. I finally made it to the Topsiders line and who do I bump into but Chuck and Linda. I noticed that Chuck made sure that Linda was as far from me as possible. For the first few days of the cruise, they were the family that I saw everywhere. Perhaps it was Linda stalking me and not the other way around?

After lunch I dropped Spanky off at the kids club … er, I mean Diversions. This was his home for the first two days of the cruise. Saturday for the Breeder’s Cup and College Football and Sunday for the NFL. If you were in Diversions on Saturday or Sunday, then you definitely met Spanky.

I returned to find the kids in the Mickey pool ears. The boys were kind of big to be in the ears, but Karen wouldn’t let them out of the ears because she had observed a kid whip off his bathing suit and pee in the main pool. Nice.

We then visited our staterooms. My family and Bobbie had connecting rooms on Deck 6, and Spanky and my mom had a handicap accessible room on Deck 6. The kids went nuts when they saw their baskets from The Perfect Gift. Can you blame them?

The card, of course, was signed by Mickey. My 6 year old, Noah, commented that he’ll definitely thank Mickey for the basket when he sees him.

The cabin struck us as very small on this first visit, but as the week progressed we realized that we had plenty of room in the cabin. Spanky’s handicap accessible cabin was huge.

We explored the Oceaneer Club and Lab and all three kids seemed very interested – a good sign.

Returned to unpack, take a brief rest, and do the boat drill. The kids were so miserable in their life preservers that I did not get a chance to take the obligatory photo. Maybe I can Photoshop my kids faces into someone else’s life preserver photo.

Will finish up Day 1 a little later ... have to work a little

 

[DisneyZell]

Karen to me, THE LOOK followed by A FLIPPING OF THE BIRD.

See, I KNEW others had gotten the LOOK.

I returned to find the kids in the Mickey pool ears. The boys were kind of big to be in the ears, but Karen wouldn’t let them out of the ears because she had observed a kid whip off his bathing suit and pee in the main pool. Nice.

OH MY! I can picture that...scary what goes on in those pools. Did you note the nice cloudiness it takes on after a afternoon of kids???

Will finish up Day 1 a little later ... have to work a little

your kidding, right? work is NO excuse!

just kidding. nice job so far. Keep it going!

 

[lindaso]

I returned to find the kids in the Mickey pool ears. The boys were kind of big to be in the ears, but Karen wouldn’t let them out of the ears because she had observed a kid whip off his bathing suit and pee in the main pool. Nice.

Oh great...I don't think I saw that particular kid and my kids were definitely in that pool. Come to think of it, I kept telling Kevin to keep the water out of his mouth ewwww . I did see the kid who ripped off his street clothes and tried to go in the pool naked. Took his mother forever to notice. I was talking to Nancy (nlmcbride) at the time and we just stared at him for the longest time, conversation stopped.

Didn't see him pee though so it must have been a different kid.

 

[jsfein]

Having some technical difficulties with posting photos. Will try to enlarge the ones that have already been posted.

 

[Suzy Mouse]

Awesome job!! Keep em comin!

 

[PrincessFAN2006]

We are from exit 7a!! Excellent report so far. We did not make the dismeet at goofy pool either. Can't wait to hear rest of your story

Kim

 

[Suzy Mouse]

Hey Kim....we're at 8a! Sorry to miss you at the meet.

We are from exit 7a!! Excellent report so far. We did not make the dismeet at goofy pool either. Can't wait to hear rest of your story

Kim

 

[jsfein]

I omitted from my last installment the following episode which became our family catch phrase for the cruise. After lunch, Spanky, my Mom and I were sitting at a table by the Mickey pool when Donald Duck and his handler happened by. As I’ve explained, Spanky is the antithesis of all things Disney. As kids were racing towards Donald for hugs and autographs and parents were chasing behind with their cameras, Spanky yelled out, “Shoot The Duck.”

I don’t know what Spanky meant by “Shoot the Duck” and it made absolutely no sense. However, those words had an immediate impact on Donald and his handler. Donald did a double take and the handler said to Donald, “Let’s move away from that man.”

I was mortified. We hadn’t been on the boat for two hours and Spanky had offended a character. I had anticipated that over the course of seven days Spanky would offend plenty of people (that’s just his nature), but Donald Duck?

Had Spanky’s words somehow breached the contract we were required to sign in order to board the Magic? Had he violated some Disney code of ethics? Could we be kicked off the ship for “Shoot The Duck”?

Spanky was so pleased with the reaction his remark caused Donald and his handler that “Shoot The __________” became his and eventually the rest of the family’s catch phrase for the cruise. Just fill in the blank and we probably uttered the phrase at some point during the cruise.

“Shoot The Mouse.”

“Shoot The Cruise Director.” (Spanky didn’t like Rachel Quinn too much)

“Shoot the Dwarf.”

You get the idea.

I mentioned earlier that we designed our cabin doors at the eleventh hour. This is how one of them turned out.

I was surprised by the relatively small number of doors that were decorated around the ship. I presumed that every decorated door belonged to a DIS-er.

At the sail away party, Noah and Eva were tired and miserable. This photo pretty much captured their mood.

Their enthusiasm for the Pirate’s Party was pretty much the same, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Our oldest, Alex, on the other hand, was a different story. Alex is generally quiet, reserved and shy. Not on this cruise, however. He was way into every dance party starting off with the sail away. He got his groove on and danced up a storm. At least I was getting my money’s worth with one of my kids.

I suddenly remembered a DIS tip I had read to make a hair braiding appointment during the sail away. Lo and behold, there was the hair brading station with a short line.

While in the hair braiding line I unexpectedly met another DIS-er, Michael (cheysdad). Michael and I were in line without our wives and sweating bullets as we unknowingly needed to let the hair braider know what type of braiding we wanted for our daughters. Neither Michael nor I were qualified to make such a decision. Thankfully for both of us, our wives happened by just before it was our turn in line. After this chance encounter, I saw Michael and his family all over the ship.

Speaking of which, I was amazed by the number of the same people and faces that I repeatedly saw throughout the cruise. It seemed like there was a small group of people that must have been following the same “touring strategy” as us. Did anyone else keep bumping into the couple who wore their Phillies baseball caps everywhere around the ship? They were like my shadow.

Our first dinner was at Animator’s Palette. Our server was Stipe from Croatia and our assistant server was Putu from Bali. From the moment we met Putu, we knew that we were going to have a fun week with him. We weren’t as certain about Stipe. At first he seemed more “serious” than Putu, but that didn’t last long. They were both great.

By the second day of the cruise, we felt like Stipe and Putu were part of our extended family. I was amazed how much a “part” of the cruise they had become for us. (Our room steward, Kenneth from Trinidad, was also excellent but he didn’t become a “part” of the cruise in the same way our servers did.) We talked about them during the day and looked forward to seeing them in the evening. We learned quite a bit about their lives on the Magic, their experiences working for DCL, and their lives at home. Our servers truly complemented our cruise experience and I was extremely thankful for this.

Here’s a shot of Spanky, Stipe and Putu.

I didn’t record what everyone ate for dinner each night so you are all saved from the minutia of those gastronomical details. My overall impression of the three rotation restaurants was that on most nights there was a standout course, but that we didn’t have any one meal where each course (appetizer, entrée, and dessert) all stood out. Palo, of course, proved to be an exception to this rule.

The ship was rocking pretty good during dinner. Of course, the boys needed a bathroom break in the middle of dinner (this was a nightly occurrence). In the bathroom I had to explain to them what the barf bags were for. It was like we were on Mission Space.

Following dinner, we attended Mickey Trivia. Alex and I were selected as the fourth and final team – the Green Goofy’s. Boy, did we ever scream, yell, dance and act crazy to get selected. I didn’t know it at the time, but reading DIS reports following the cruise, two of the other three teams were also DIS-ers. We finished in second place, but I think we would have won if we didn’t get hit with trivia questions from Alice in Wonderland, Snow White and Bambi. We were the only team without a female member and suffered for it.

For whatever the reason, it seemed like DCL decided to unveil new talent on us Jersey cruisers. Maybe its because people from NJ are such good judges of character? The very first performer we were presented at the All Aboard Show, magician Jay Mattioli, was premiering on DCL. The guy needs to refine his act. Dude, do you think you can pull off a trick without a bird or lighting a match?

Comedian Gary DeLena rocked the house with his Jersey based set with many references to Point Pleasant, New Jersey and the surrounding area. This happens to be in the vicinity of where I live, so we were hooting and hollering with each local reference.

The long day coupled with the pretty good rocking of the ship led to us sending the kids to bed following the All Aboard Show. My mother-in-law, Bobbie, who was rooming with the boys, decided this was a good time to freak out that Noah, who was to sleep on the top bunk, was certainly going to fall to his demise. Can you say its time for a Z-O-L-O-F-T break.

There was still so much ship to explore, so Karen and I snuck out as everyone went to bed. Rockin’ Bar D was dead. Walked around Deck 10 a bit. We dropped off our pillow cases at Guest Services (made a mistake with the pillow cases to be discussed in a later installment).

By 11 pm we were somehow still awake and, amazingly, hungry. Room Service!! An All Hands On Deck Cheese Platter (based on the rave reviews I’ve seen for the cheese platter, I’ve got to imagine that DCL has cut back on the cheese platter or we received a crappy rendition), fruit bowl and cookies later we were satiated and ready for bed. Turned out to be the first and last time we ordered Room Service.

I don’t know whether it was the rocking of the ship, the excitement of finally being on board, or the cheese, but I barely slept.

 

[grumpydude]

Exit 2-1/2 here.

Great Report. Seems like lots of the same things happpened to us during our cruise this past August. I would have loved to have gone NJ week but DW is a teacher and is supposed to be at the Convention in AC during that week. Schools won't let teachers take any time off before the convention...you pretty much have to be dead to get time off. And even that is not a sure thing

Your Spanky is the reason I would never, ever take an extended family vacation. Everyone outside of my immediate family (wife and son) drive me nuts. And sometimes the wife and son drive me nuts. I could not imagine being on vacation with my in-laws and / or my mom. You should win a prize for that.

GD

 

[DisneyZell]

Great installment, as usual! you do have a way of making us feel like we are there...Shoot the Duck!

I love it! keep it coming.

 

[cheysdad]

Jason

Your last installment has me cracking up.

When I met you on the hair braiding line I had no idea I had to actually pick out the braid style. What makes it worse is that Cathe had just finished telling me what Cheyenne wanted....I immediately forget. Thank God we were rescued!

The couple with the Phillies cap were everywhere and you are right the cheese platter it wasn't anything to talk about.

Michael

 

[jsfein]

Now that I have all the trip background out of the way, this trip report is going to pick up steam. Hang on tight as I have squeezed a full day into one installment. Well, it was Key West day. How much could really happen on Key West day?!?

Has anyone had the nerve to defy the warning to close the toilet lid before flushing? If so, please let me know what happened. I didn’t have the guts to chance a geyser in our bathroom.

Our first morning on the ship and it takes a Herculean effort to get the girls out the door to their 8 am character breakfast. The boys and I take the “been there done that at WDW” attitude and skip it. Karen had purchased a new princess costume for Eva a day or so before our trip and, of course, forgot to dress her in it for the character breakfast. The costume didn’t see the light of day all week. Another expense absorbed into the ever expanding cruise balance sheet.

The boys and I met up with Spanky and my Mom for breakfast at Topsiders. The boys were in hash brown heaven – they tried to out eat each other but both teetered out at 3 hash browns apiece. Mmmmmm, fried potato goodness.

When Spanky saw the boys’ hash browns and my made-to-order omelet and realized that he had missed these items, he had a near break down, despite his overflowing plate of eggs, bacon, sausage, bagel, cream cheese, lox, fruit, etc. Spanky has major food envy. Normally I need to escape Eva’s whining. This morning, I needed to escape Spanky’s whining and I made off with the boys to the Goofy pool as he reloaded for Topsiders Round 2.

While the boys swam, the girls returned from the character breakfast with a “thumbs down” review. I can’t vouch for their report as I wasn’t there, but they said that the character interaction was brief and the service extremely slow. No regrets that I missed that one.

Eva then had her hair braiding appointment. The hair braiders must have been trained at Guantanamo Bay as the braiding process was absolute torture to Eva. In the end, her hair looked really cool, but was it worth the tears that were shed? It is so much easier being a guy.

As the ship approached Key West, the boys, my Mom and I staked out a spot on Deck 10 to watch. This impromptu 10 minutes was one of my favorite memories of the trip. The moment was nothing more than just sitting there with my Mom (who I don’t spend enough time with) and listening to the boys who were completely intrigued by the clear water, passing land, docking process, etc. I don’t have a photo or any video of this time, but it is firmly etched in my memory and I hope it remains so for a long time to come.

Karen and I had a “disagreement” concerning the kids and Key West. Karen wanted all of us to explore Key West. My feeling was that the kids would have more fun on the ship than going to a second rate aquarium or butterfly conservatory or taking a trolly to the Southern Most Point (no disrespect intended to those who enjoy these places). Of course, I prevailed but not without a struggle.

In a blink of the eye, Karen and the moms had left to do Key West, leaving me with the four kids (yes, that includes Spanky). Time to get the kids in the clubs for the first time. Alex into the Lab, Noah and Eva into the Club, and Spanky to Diversions.

By 1:30 pm, I was all alone. Weird. I hadn’t planned for this and didn’t know what to do with myself. I almost pulled one of the kids out of the clubs to keep me company. I ended up in Diversions with Spanky to watch the Giants and have a couple of beers.

While I enjoyed hanging with Spanky, I was still a cruising newbie. If I had the opportunity for a do over, I would have chosen to spend my alone time more wisely. One option would have been the Cove Café which I somehow failed to visit all week. I’m not a coffee person so I didn’t miss out on a java fix, but I still missed out on the Cove Café experience. Another option would have been grabbing a book and a quiet lounge chair. The best option (but I didn’t know how good an option it really was this early into the cruise) would have been a spa treatment (stay tuned for the spa treatment installments – yes, that is plural - there was more than one).

The pansy that I am, after an hour or so I needed some kid time and took Eva and Noah out of the Club to do Mr. Toad’s Wild Race. I had another completely unexpected run in with a DIS-er at this event. A boy was playing with a small light up stick, sort of like a mini light saber. My boys had been playing with identical light up sticks earlier that day which were now sitting in my pocket. I grabbed the sticks out of my pocket and showed them to the boy and his mom. Turns out that the sticks were the remnants of glow in the dark lollipops that my boys and the other child received in Shirley’s baskets from The Perfect Gift. With The Perfect Gift in common we quickly realized that we were both DIS-ers. Thereafter, I saw Michelle (pklein09) and her family all over the ship.

I should mention that my “Old Guy Toad” raced against Michelle’s daughter. While Michelle thought I bagged the race (which would have been the honorable thing for an adult to do when racing against a kid), that is not what happened – I tried to win but I just sucked at toad racing. Noah raced into the finals and lost. He did not take losing well and had a near emotional break down. As I read Michelle’s trip report, I see that her son had his own emotional break down following his loss. Parents be forewarned of “the agony of defeat” at Mr. Toad’s Wild Race.

We spent the rest of the afternoon doing the little things around the ship with the kids … shuffleboard, ping pong, foosball, etc.

That night we had our first dinner at Parrot Cay. The general consensus from our group was that this was the weakest “food” night of the cruise. Our second dinner at Parrot Cay was considerably better.

Following dinner, we dropped the kids off at the clubs. Who would have thunk that Nestle Jr. Chef night would be so popular? The line to enter the Lab was as long as the lines for Soarin’ at Epcot. The cookies, by the way, turned out terrible. The grown ups went to Who Wants To Be A Mouseketeer. My Mickey Trivia experience had spoiled me … its much more fun being a contestant than a mere member of the audience.

The night’s entertainment was Gary Delena’s hour long family show … very entertaining. I was bummed that we didn’t make it to his adult show the next evening.

Following Gary Delena's show we said goodnight to the grandparents … us kids were partying tonight.

The kids then participated in their favorite activity … pin trading in the shops. We got to know all of the shop crewmembers during the week. Prior to the cruise, I purchased a grab bag of 100 junky pins off of eBay (oyyy, that cruise balance sheet), so the kids had plenty of stock to trade.

We then headed over to the Family Dance Party: High School Musical in the Promenade Lounge. We are a High School Musical family. For a while, it played on a continuous loop on our DVD player, in the car, on the iPod, etc. The party was fun, especially for Alex. A contest was held to pick a Troy and a Gabriella (sort of like Danny and Sandy if you haven’t seen the movie, but not nearly as cool as Danny and Sandy). Alex danced his heart out trying for the Troy role, but to his disappointment was passed over.

Once again, Eva and Noah fizzled out before Alex, so I returned to the cabin with them. When Karen and Alex returned later that night, Karen informed me that she had run into someone she knew at the party … her sorority Big Sister’s sister-in-law. Try saying that three times quickly. Even tougher, read that again and try to figure out the relationship.

Karen learned later in the cruise that this turned out to be a DIS-er, Suzymouse. Karen has an amazing streak of running into someone she knows on our vacations. Sue, thanks for keeping the streak intact. Please don’t be offended if Karen thought any less of you after she learned you are a DIS-er. She just doesn’t get it.

Coming up next, the spa experience that seems to get the most laughs on the Cruise Line Forum.

 

[cheysdad]

Hi Jason

Here are some pics of our approach to Key West.

Happy Thanksgiving

 

[jsfein]

Michael,

Thanks for posting the Key West photos. What a contrast to the dreary weather we're having in NJ for Turkey Day.

Jason

 

[grumpydude]

Has anyone had the nerve to defy the warning to close the toilet lid before flushing? If so, please let me know what happened. I didn’t have the guts to chance a geyser in our bathroom.

Yes, I loved the SuperSuck-O-Matic. If you leave the lid up...you can get a spritz and a blow dry all at the same time.

 

[mruhaak]

Exit 2-1/2 here.

Your Spanky is the reason I would never, ever take an extended family vacation. Everyone outside of my immediate family (wife and son) drive me nuts. And sometimes the wife and son drive me nuts. I could not imagine being on vacation with my in-laws and / or my mom. You should win a prize for that.

GD

You're absolutely right. I love my mother and my grandmother-in-law, but we took them on a cruise last January. What a nightmare. First of all they didn't get along with each other... which was a problem since they were rooming together. So I felt like instead of just having one toddler I had three with all the bickering.

 

[jsfein]

You're absolutely right. I love my mother and my grandmother-in-law, but we took them on a cruise last January. What a nightmare. First of all they didn't get along with each other... which was a problem since they were rooming together. So I felt like instead of just having one toddler I had three with all the bickering.

Did we sacrifice a little by having 3 grandparents in tow? Of course. Would we have had a different cruise experience if the grandparents had not been along? Probably a little different. Would I have done it differently? No, probably not. Perhaps my circumstances are unique, but Spanky's disability makes it extremely difficult for my mother, especially going on vacation. They simply could not have done this trip without our help. The kids loved having their grandparents around for a week and the grandparents, especially Spanky, cherished every moment with the kids. I wouldn't have changed a thing. Indeed, we rebooked to do it all again with the grandparents. Call me a glutton for family punishment.

 

[Ski-and-Sea]

Why didn't Spanky like the cruise director? And I think someone posted she's not on the Magic this week.

 

[jsfein]

Monday was our first “Day at Sea.” What better to do than wake up early to do laundry. My wife could not have wished for a better husband. By the way, at 6 am you have your choice of washers and dryers.

Deck 10 at 6:15 am was the place to be, even though it was a little hazy and cloudy. I saw a few people taking photos of the sunrise and figured that’s what you do on a cruise so I ran back to the cabin to grab my camera. This was the result.

Pretty cool, huh?

This is where the trip report gets a little dicey for two reasons. Reason 1: the censor I mentioned in my first installment (a/k/a Karen) has set certain restrictions as to what I can report. Reason 2: my Mom (Cheryl), who I think is reading this report (Hi Mom!!), will be learning about certain aspects of my cruise a little different than the version she was told while we were cruising. Here goes.

The night before we mentioned to the moms that we would need their help with the kids Monday morning. We told them that we had a spa “treatment” which was to be followed by brunch at Palo with all of the adults. We needed the moms to feed the kids breakfast, watch them for a bit and check them into the kids clubs before the Palo brunch because our “treatment” was scheduled to end just as our brunch was to begin.

While our moms are not “puritanical,” it was a lot simpler to tell them that we had a spa “treatment” as opposed to the ER (the censor won’t even allow me to insert the name). My mom may know what the ER is as she occasionally lurks on the DIS and she read the Passporter. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, wouldn’t have had a clue and we would have played 20 questions had we offered up the name of the specific “treatment” we had scheduled. That was a game of 20 questions I did not want to play.

**HYPOTHETICAL GAME OF 20 QUESTIONS WITH MIL**

Q. Why do they call it Exotic?

Q. What do you do there?

Q. Why don’t you just put the kids in the clubs and use the cabin for an hour?

**JasonShuddersWithRevulsionAsHeTypesThisAndCan’tGoOnWith17MoreQuestions**

We spent a considerable amount of time explaining to the grandmas what we needed them to do.

Step 1: Feed the kids breakfast.

Step 2: Watch them while they swim.

Step 3: Return to the cabins, dry off, dress.

Step 4: Walk down one deck to Deck 5. Check Noah and Eva in the Club; Alex in the Lab.

Step 5: Go to Palo, Deck 10, Aft.

And yes, I thought about writing out these steps for them.

So I’ve never been to a spa before and was somewhat apprehensive. I had read a few posts about the ER in advance and one common thread in the posts, aside from all of the smilies, was to bring extra towels. If nothing else, I’m good at following directions and grabbed a half dozen towels from the adult pool before we entered the spa.

We show up in the spa dressed in our Palo brunch clothes and me with an armful of towels. We must have looked so out of place that the woman who checked us in didn’t even have us fill out the spa questionnaire. (I only knew of the questionnaire from our subsequent visit to the spa.) She gave us locker keys and told us to change into our bathing suits and robes. Maybe she thought I had bathing suits hidden under all of those towels? Were bathing suits required to enter the ER? I hadn’t read anything about bathing suits on DIS and was ready to run back to the room for our bathing suits.

Unsure what to do, I decided to go with boxers under the robe. After changing, I didn’t know where to go or what to do next. Was I supposed to go back to the lobby in my thigh length robe? Had I been instructed where to go after I changed? I couldn’t remember. The bathing suit thing had thrown me off my game.

I grabbed my towels and just as I was opening the locker room door to find out where I needed to be appeared the spa lady with Karen. Apparently I was supposed to wait for a knock at the locker room door.

As we took “the walk,” the spa lady (attendant? therapist? I can’t recall her title) asked me why I was carrying the towels. Uhhhh, cold surfaces? Hard edges? To cover up any evidence left behind by previous guests?

Completely embarrassed, I told her that I had heard to bring extra towels. She responded that I wouldn’t need them and took them from me. My security blanket was gone. Her tip was in jeopardy.

Once we entered the chamber, we were so distracted by the strangeness of the place that neither one of us caught all the instructions we were being given. Something about an hour and getting a 10 minute warning knock. I was thinking to myself an hour?? I had spent the past three days sharing a hotel room and connecting cabins with 3 kids and a mother-in-law. Why would I need 60 minutes when 2 minutes would suffice? Yes, my wife could not have wished for a better husband.

We followed some of the instructions we were given and used the brown stuff that looked like leftover oatmeal and cream of wheat from the Topsiders breakfast buffet mixed with sandpaper. It actually turned my skin smooth and silky. This was followed by the green mud stuff that had us looking like the Hulk meets the Jolly Green Giant … a very attractive look for us.

The censor has restricted the disclosure of any additional ER information.

Some time later we thought we heard the **knock**, so we returned to the locker rooms and dressed. When we returned to the reception area our spa lady told us that we finished before she had knocked. I think she took a shot at me with that remark and I adjusted her tip accordingly.

My assessment of the ER is that it is analogous to a glorified rent a room by the hour motel. Just my style.

Following the ER, we decided to swing by our rooms to see if the grandmas had dropped the kids off at the clubs yet. As we walked to the rooms, we tried to get our stories straight as to what we were going to tell our moms about our spa “treatment.” As it turned out, we hadn’t prepared enough.

The 20 Questions began the moment we walked into the room.

Q. “Did you have the treatment together?”

A. “Errr, yeah.”

Q. “Did one person treat you or did you have two persons?”

A. We hadn’t prepared an answer to this question. One Mississippi, Two Mississippi… Karen was silent so I stammered, “Two persons?”

Q. “What did they do to you?”

A. We had prepared for this one, so I chimed in, “My skin was defoliated.” Karen snickered at me in a hushed tone, “Exfoliated, you idiot.”

My Mom told me that my skin looked soft. Is it possible for skin to look soft?

Bobbie told me that I looked relaxed. I was relaxed until the 20 questions about what I had just done with her daughter.

Our spa “treatment” sounded so good that the grandmas discussed having the treatment together. Ewwwwwwwww.

I’ve got to finish this later. This trip report has gone in a totally non-Disney direction. I need to refocus.