The “What Exit Are You From?” Trip Report – Magic 11/4/06 (NEW POST 12/10)

[christinou]

Great trip report, your ER report is just about the funniest thing that I have ever heard.....

 

[jsfein]

Great trip report, your ER report is just about the funniest thing that I have ever heard.....

Thanks Christine. I thought it was pretty funny too, but my dear wife wasn't too pleased with my retelling of the story.

 

[jsfein]

Similar to my excursion planning for Grand Cayman, I had likewise spent a considerable amount of time researching what to do in Cozumel. Ultimately I decided to visit Paradise Beach. I was hoping that with the ship docking directly in Cozumel that Spanky might be able to join us for the day (the tender would have been too difficult for him). Over on cruisecritic.com, I had exchanged correspondence with Paradise Tom, the manager at Paradise Beach in Cozumel. (I wish I had a cool screen name like Paradise Tom.) Paradise Tom assured me that it would be no problem for Spanky to join us as Paradise Beach was handicap accessible. Although Spanky decided not to join us, Paradise Tom was so responsive to my requests for information that we decided to still visit Paradise Beach. We were not disappointed.

We piled into a taxi van, and 15 minutes and $26 later we had arrived. We immediately knew we had made a good choice. The resort was very well maintained and attractive. The staff couldn’t have been any friendlier … comparable to the level of service we had grown accustomed to on the Magic. The boys and I were swimming out to the water trampoline and water iceberg moments after our arrival.

The parasail/jet ski equipment operator had caught my eye and I inquired about parasailing. I had never gone parasailing and this was as good an opportunity as any. To my surprise, Karen expressed interest in also parasailing but she wanted to do a tandem. Due to light wind conditions we were advised in broken English that only singles would be flying. Karen backed out and I forked over $55 for my single ride hoping for enough wind to keep me airborne.

I was immediately ushered to a waiting boat so as not to allow me an opportunity to reconsider and ask for my money back. 8 other passengers were already on board. I don’t know how long the others were waiting, but we immediately departed once I arrived. A volunteer was needed to be the first flier. As I had just walked on the boat, I deferred to the others for a volunteer. A bunch of wusses. No one spoke up so I volunteered to go first.

I was strapped into a harness and a safety vest and before I knew it I was airborne. I was initially put off by the distance we were from the coastline, but before long it settled into a very relaxing and enjoyable ride with an amazing view of the Cozumel coast.

That was until I noticed duct tape wrapped around the metal cylinder that attached my harness to the parachute. Although duct tape strangely appears on the DIS list of recommended items to bring on the cruise (in case you decide to take Goofy hostage I suppose), I suspect that not many DIS-ers have thought to use duct tape to assemble parasailing equipment.

As much as I tried to enjoy the rest of the ride, my attention was focused on the duct tape and the fact that I had still not drawn up a will. I was also kicking myself (again) for not using DCL to arrange for this activity. I bet on Castaway Cay the parasailing equipment wasn’t reinforced with duct tape.

When I finally returned everyone was hungry and thirsty. The adults ordered various frozen alcoholic beverages (yum) and incredible chips with salsa and guacamole (even yummier). There was also a great kids’ menu to order stuff for the little guys. Noah declared that the quesadillas in Mexico were much better than the quesadillas in New Jersey.

After lunch we returned to the ship. Karen and Bobbie immediately departed to do some shopping in Cozumel and my Mom had a massage scheduled. I dropped Alex in the Lab and took Noah and Eva to see Cars … our first and only time in the Buena Vista Theater. There was so much to do all week that it was difficult to find time to catch the movies.

Karen and Bobbie were back in the cabins when we returned from the movie. It was still a little early, but we decided to start dressing into our Pirates costumes. I was in full costume an hour before our 5:30 main dinner seating and still needed to check Alex out of the Lab.

As I walked to the Lab at 4:30 pm as the only pirate on the ship, I received more than a few bewildered stares from my fellow passengers. HELLO?!? Its Pirates Night people. Apparently they hadn’t received the memo. Alex was mortified when I arrived in the Lab as a pirate. Being a parent can be so much fun.

Eva was now dressed in her pirate costume and the boys complained about having to put on their costumes. I wasn’t in the mood for their complaints so I left with Eva. She looked absolutely adorable. Instead of the quizzical stares I had received when I was roaming the ship as a solo pirate, our fellow passengers now “Ooohed” and “Aaaahed” at Eva.

Eva and I got in line for a pirate photo and the rest of my pirate family arrived just as it was our turn. This is what we looked like.

As we walked to Parrot Cay, Karen was a bit peeved at me that I had us all dress in full costume when, in fact, there were but a few other passengers dressed in any pirate gear at all. I was surprised myself, but I wasn’t going to let others’ lack of pirate spirit get me down. Over in Parrot Cay many of the waiters complimented us on being the best costumed family. I had to agree.

Not only was tonight Pirates Night, but it was also the first showing of Santa Clause 3. Rachel Quinn’s buildup for the screening of the movie all week was way over the top. You would have thought that Tim Allen and Martin Short were going to perform the movie live with all the excitement the cruise director tried to generate. Despite the buzz in the air, my late night the evening before had me asleep within 5 minutes of the start of the movie. When I awoke 30 minutes later, Eva was tired and cranky. No problem. Since I had already missed the entire movie I took her back to the cabin. We remained in our costumes and promised one another that we would wake to attend the Pirates party.

Next thing I remember was a pounding at the door as I had unknowingly taken everyone’s KTTW cards with me. Observing our pirates’ pact, I woke Eva for the party. She was not happy at all.

Need I say that the Pirates party was a disaster? Eva was miserable and clearly needed to go back to bed. So did I. Five minutes into the party Bobbie left to take Eva back to the room. Then Alex disappeared. There were lots of people in the area, but absolutely no sign of Alex. Time. To. Panic. It took a few minutes (when your kid goes missing minutes feel like an eternity) before we found him alone in the mosh pit in front of the stage. He said he wanted to dance. We couldn’t stay mad at a kid who just wanted to dance. Noah and I made it until the fireworks and then headed to bed. I never did see the buffet. True to form, Alex refused to leave the party until it was over so he stayed behind with Karen.

Despite our killer costumes, the stars just weren’t aligned for us all to be wild and crazy dancing pirates on this night. Nevertheless, it was a really great day overall (and I hardly touched my Blackberry all day).

 

[Ski-and-Sea]

I always wondered whether the word "wuss" was allowable on DIS.

Great pirate outfits. Ah, those other passengers that looked at you funny are just a bunch of......the word referenced above.

My kids also think the Mexican food we get in NJ isn't as good as what they had in Cozumel and Costa Maya.

Great TR.

 

[mruhaak]

Cozumel definitely has the best margaritas I've had. I can testify to that!

 

[Babs417]

I got a great massage at Paradise Beach, it was worth getting. Great pics.

 

[jsfein]

I got a great massage at Paradise Beach, it was worth getting. Great pics.

I had toyed with getting a massage instead of the parasailing, but, as I will describe in my next installment, I had a massage the following day on the ship. I should have done both.

 

[love2travel]

No duct tape on the parasailing equipment at CC!!!
I have parasailed on CC twice and it was a great experience!

 

[PrincessFAN2006]

All of your photo's are great!! I loved your pirate costumes!!

 

[Babs417]

My massage was $20 +tip at PB what did I have to lose. It was heaven

 

[jsfein]

I have no notes for the remaining days of the cruise and now that a month has passed my memory has faded, but here’s what I can recall from, Thursday, our last day at sea.

Karen and I had an early spa appointment for a couples massage. Following breakfast, we left Eva with Spanky and my Mom to hang by the Mickey pool and Bobbie took the boys to the Ocean Quest open house. I think this may be the first time I’ve mentioned Ocean Quest in this trip report, but this was certainly not the kids’ first visit there. We were regulars in Ocean Quest during open house hours.

For those accustomed to spa treatments, the following information will be of absolutely no use to you. This is more for the Dads (and Moms, but mostly Dads) who may be reading along and have never had a massage. Before my ER experience a few days earlier, I had never even been to a spa. Here I was for the second time in a four day span going for my first ever massage. I had certain insecurities that I think any run-of-the-mill guy whose never had a massage might have, including:

1. Is the massage therapist going to be male or female? This was a major concern of mine. I’m sure male massage therapists are excellent at what they do, but I didn’t want one. Just my personal preference.

2. What if Karen’s massage therapist was male? Her OB/GYN is a man, but I'm not there during her doctor's visit.

3. What if it was Karen, me and two guys? Like my report of the ER experience, this is starting to sound very non-Disney like.

4. What was expected concerning clothing? Was I expected to wear my birthday suit or something more modest?

5. What would I do if the answer to Questions 1 and 2 were male and the answer to Question 4 was birthday suit? Wish my wife a fun time and get out of there as fast as I could.

I did a little pre-planning for the massage. Right before we cruised I purchased new boxers from Banana Republic which I had saved all cruise for the massage. It was sort of like the old adage to make sure you have on clean underwear in case you’re in an accident. My new boxers gave me an added confidence boost.

When we arrived at the spa the spa lady who assisted us with the ER was the first person we saw behind the counter. That cheap shot she took at me a few days earlier (“You finished before I knocked”) was still ringing in my ears and I was hoping to avoid her. As we approached, a blur suddenly appeared out of nowhere and asked, “Can I help you?” A short Filipino woman named Wella, who we could barely see over the counter, checked us in and gave us a questionnaire to fill out. I was saved from the other spa lady.

The spa questionnaire was lengthy and requested more medical information from me than my own internist has ever requested. I dutifully filled out the questionnaire, which concluded with the question, “Please rate your stress level on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the most stressful.” The whole work/Blackberry thing was still fresh in my mind and I rated myself an 8. Little did I know that an 8 set off alarm bells for the massage therapist.

After we completed the questionnaires, Wella escorted us not to the lockers but directly to the massage room. I was a little disappointed that I didn’t get a chance to wear the thigh length robe again. Another Filipino woman was waiting for us at the massage room, Kathy. Wella announced that she would do Karen’s massage and Kathy would do mine.

Keep in mind that I never had a massage before and had nothing but stereotypes in my head. I sort of expected an Inga from Sweden type of masseuse – tall, blond, and big powerful hands. Instead, we had two petite Filipino women who probably couldn’t reach across one side of the massage table to the other. But they were women, so Questions 1 and 2 were answered favorably.

Wella and Kathy reviewed our questionnaires with us. Kathy was put off by my Level 8 stress level and told me that I had too much stress in my life. I offered her my kids, but she politely declined to take them. Kathy then asked me if I have any problem areas that I wanted her to work on. I told her to bring my Level 8 down to a Level 4 and all would be good. As this was our first massage, the therapists recommended a ½ body, ½ facial treatment. We followed their recommendation despite a vision of myself with mud on my face and cucumbers covering my eyes.

Wella then set me completely at ease when she told us to undress to our own level of comfort while the therapists left the room. Question 4 had also been answered favorably and I proudly displayed my new boxers. Thank goodness Question 5 didn’t come into play.

We laid down on adjoining massage tables with our faces poking out of the cut-outs at the top of the table. The whole scene was so foreign to us that we couldn’t stop giggling. However, once the therapists reentered the room and the massages began the giggles gave way to “oooohs” and “aaaahs” as the stress was quickly washed away.

Shortly into my body massage, Kathy asked me if the pressure was okay or did I want her to increase or decrease the amount of pressure she was exerting. The massage felt great and the pressure was just fine, but the question had been posed to a guy in a room with three women. “Sure, you can use more pressure.” How else could I have responded?

It was then that I think (I’m not sure as my face was in the cut-out) that Kathy took out a sledgehammer and started beating the crap out of me, but in a good way. The pressure increased significantly to the point that I was teetering on the line between pain and pleasure. Kathy said something about stress and deep muscle tension, and my earlier “oooohs” and “aaaahs” turned more into grunts and pleas.

The hour passed in no time. I was truly amazed at how relaxed I became. The massage was like crack … I wanted more. I cursed myself for waiting until the end of the cruise to have the massage. I asked Kathy about her availability the following day at Castaway Cay, but she thought she was already booked. Even though Kathy had not complimented me on my new boxers, I had found my new favorite crewmember.

Next I will post my experience with the other “ER” on the ship, also known as the ship’s infirmary.

 

[janets]

I haven't had an opportunity to post to your trip report thread but wanted to say that I've enjoyed every minute of it. While I was raised in NYC, I'm now a Jersey girl (Exit 27 off Rt. 80; formerly 8A/123) and so enjoy reading about Jersey week cruises.

We're cruising next year, but DS (almost 9) has chosen RCCL Liberty of the Seas because of the rock wall, ice skating rink and H2O Zone. We're WDW AP holders, having had the joy of 4 trips to the world in 2006, with 2 planned for 2007, so we're taking a break. We've done DCL before with older ds only, but he was only about 3.5 and doesn't have the best memories (didn't really love the club) so I think he's hesitant about going back. I've tried to convince him that I can hook him up w/ a bunch of kids who will be cruising from NJ on line so he can chat and make friends, but he seems pleased w/ his RCCL decision. We have time to change our minds so who knows?

Jason, are you with a law firm in Central/South Jersey? I'm with one in Northern NJ (Wolff & Samson). I used to work at Wilentz Goldman in Woodbridge.

Looking forward to your future installments.

 

[jsfein]

I haven't had an opportunity to post to your trip report thread but wanted to say that I've enjoyed every minute of it. While I was raised in NYC, I'm now a Jersey girl (Exit 27 off Rt. 80; formerly 8A/123) and so enjoy reading about Jersey week cruises.

We're cruising next year, but DS (almost 9) has chosen RCCL Liberty of the Seas because of the rock wall, ice skating rink and H2O Zone. We're WDW AP holders, having had the joy of 4 trips to the world in 2006, with 2 planned for 2007, so we're taking a break. We've done DCL before with older ds only, but he was only about 3.5 and doesn't have the best memories (didn't really love the club) so I think he's hesitant about going back. I've tried to convince him that I can hook him up w/ a bunch of kids who will be cruising from NJ on line so he can chat and make friends, but he seems pleased w/ his RCCL decision. We have time to change our minds so who knows?

Jason, are you with a law firm in Central/South Jersey? I'm with one in Northern NJ (Wolff & Samson). I used to work at Wilentz Goldman in Woodbridge.

Looking forward to your future installments.

Hi Janet, thanks for the kind words. I am indeed with a law firm in Central/South Jersey (depending on where you draw the line). Do we know each other? Have you learned things from my TR that you'll be able to use against me? Should I put my firm's malpractice carrier on notice?

 

[4duncansfromcanada]

I just had to thank you for writing such an enyoyable Trip Reprt! It's 2:17 in the morning and I just had to keep reading and laughing!! It was great - like a funny novel you can't put down.

 

[Angie_Ohio]

GREAT REPORT!
You have me laughing so hard. I have wanted my husband to try a massage for a while and he always recalls the Seinfeld episode with George, the Helga-type woman and "moving". He is not a diser but I think he would enjoy reading this and knowing he is not alone and that someone else has ventured there and returned unscathed.

I got up early today to get a chance at the computer (3 young surfers) so I could finish your report.

Angie_OH

 

[JDBlair]

When I read the party about Kathy and the sledgehammer, I spit all over the computer screen with my burst of laughter. DH, who is not a DISer (his loss!), asked, "What?" So I shared. He had big smiles! I keep trying to convince him to get a massage, I think he'd really love it. But I think he shares in some of your fears. Maybe I'll schedule one, any way, and just booze him up beforehand. And it's good to know he can wear boxers!!

 

[jsfein]

GREAT REPORT!
You have me laughing so hard. I have wanted my husband to try a massage for a while and he always recalls the Seinfeld episode with George, the Helga-type woman and "moving". He is not a diser but I think he would enjoy reading this and knowing he is not alone and that someone else has ventured there and returned unscathed.

I got up early today to get a chance at the computer (3 young surfers) so I could finish your report.

Angie_OH

When I read the party about Kathy and the sledgehammer, I spit all over the computer screen with my burst of laughter. DH, who is not a DISer (his loss!), asked, "What?" So I shared. He had big smiles! I keep trying to convince him to get a massage, I think he'd really love it. But I think he shares in some of your fears. Maybe I'll schedule one, any way, and just booze him up beforehand. And it's good to know he can wear boxers!!

If I've helped one wife get her husband to get a massage from the recounting of my spa experience, then I'm glad I told my story. Guys, you don't know what you're missing.

 

[jsfein]

Following the spa, I returned to find Spanky and my Mom waving the white flag by the Mickey pool. Apparently watching Eva play around in the Mickey pool for an hour had wiped them out.

Now that a month has passed, my recollection of our late morning to early afternoon is a bit fuzzy. There should be a statute of limitations on DIS for the completion of trip reports to avoid memory fade. I’m pretty sure that Bobbie, Karen and the boys went to a magic workshop during these hours and that Spanky, Eva, my Mom and I hung around Deck 9. I do recall that it was a very relaxing time. Our two days at sea were very laid back and enjoyable.

I was in a dilemma regarding the kids and the clubs in the afternoon. The adults had an afternoon Galley tour planned, so I needed to put the kids in the clubs by 3:00 pm. We also had our Palo dinner planned that night so the kids would be back in the clubs by 6:00 pm. Scheduled in between these hours was the Celebrate the Journey rehearsal and show. I was torn as to whether to have the kids in the clubs from basically 3:00 pm to 8:00 pm. As I didn’t think that would be fair to them, we decided that they would skip Celebrate the Journey. Celebrate the Journey was on my “to do” list prior to the cruise so I was disappointed that we missed it. The kids wouldn’t have cared, but us parents would have enjoyed it. Maybe someone who sailed with us can cheer me up by telling me that Celebrate the Journey was terrible.

By mid-afternoon we checked the kids into the clubs and started the dreaded task of repacking as we awaited the start of the Galley tour. I wish I had taken a photo of the condition of our room by this, the fifth day of the cruise. The mess was unimaginable.

A few minutes before we were to leave for the Galley tour, Bobbie got a call from the Lab advising that Alex had bumped his head. I found it strange that the Lab called the stateroom looking for a parent rather than paging us.

Karen and I spent the next few minutes discussing who should check on him. If Karen checked on Alex, it was likely that he would want to leave the Lab with her. If I checked on Alex, the chances of him remaining in the Lab and all of the adults going on the Galley tour were greater. The call from the Lab suggested no urgency whatsoever and I leisurely made my way to the Lab.

It wasn’t hard to locate Alex when I arrived at the Lab as he was the kid laid out on a bean bag with 4 counselors attending to him. One of the counselors had an ice pack applied to the back of his head and when they removed it it was covered in blood. Apparently Alex was by the computers watching another child play a game when he leaned his chair back and fell over backwards, striking his head on a sharp edge. An accident that the Lab could not have prevented. He had a considerable gash in his scalp. Ouch.

I suspect that the severity of the injury is what caused the Lab to call us directly in the stateroom rather than chancing our response to a page. I was, however, a bit put off that we weren’t told the severity of the injury when the Lab called.

After I arrived, an extremely courteous manager in the Lab, Jane from the United States, suggested that we bring Alex down to the ship’s infirmary. I had a feeling before we cruised that I would be seeing the infirmary with Spanky at some point, but I never expected this. Unsure what a visit to the infirmary entailed, I was thankful that I had purchased trip insurance in case I was about to incur medical expenses. Always thinking about the bottom line, even in times of crisis.

Jane from the Lab was terrific. She stayed with us the entire time. Without me asking, she called Karen and informed her what was going on. Karen met us in the infirmary moments later. I thought the nurse in the infirmary could have been more tactful and discussed Alex’s condition with us out of his presence. With Alex right there she informed us that although the cut was starting to clot, a couple of stitches weren’t out of the question. Of course, Alex freaked when he heard that. He had a prior incident involving stitches when he was younger and practically bolted when the nurse mentioned stitches. We elected against the stitches and to take the wait and see approach. Again, I understand that the nurse was doing her job, but was it really necessary to discuss with us in an 8 year old’s presence the possibility of coma if a concussion had been suffered? I think not.

After hearing that he wasn’t getting stitches, Alex's spirits were much improved. We returned to the room, he rested a bit, and seemed fine. Karen and I had missed the Galley tour, but the grandmas who had attended said it was terrible so not much was lost.

Alex deserved a little pampering so we grabbed Noah, headed up to the arcade and purchased a new $30 card. This won’t mean a thing to those reading along, but Noah is addicted to an arcade game called Jurassic Park III. He can’t get enough of it when we visit the resort arcades at WDW and it was aboard the Magic. For the first time ever (the $30 card had something to do with it), Alex and Noah finished the game. The three of us were screaming with joy from this accomplishment and performed a rousing rendition of “We Are The Champions.” If you happened to be in Quartermasters around 4:30 pm on Thursday, that was us you heard singing.

Alex seemed to be doing fine and we had dinner at Palo planned that evening, so we dressed quickly and returned the kids to the clubs with the “we’ll be at Palo” instructions for the counselors so as not to be paged during dinner. As we arrived at Palo I realized that being paged wouldn’t be an issue as I had mistakenly left the pager in our stateroom. I should have just stayed at Palo as we knew it was unlikely that the clubs would call us, but we were still a bit uncertain concerning Alex so I ran back to the room for the pager.

Our Palo dinner was fantastic. The food was amazing and Noeme took great care of us. It was the Captain’s Gala a/k/a lobster night. Karen and Bobbie are lobster fanatics and ordered the filet mignon with two lobster tails. Noeme wisely talked them out of it as it would have been way too much food. We all ordered single (not double) lobster tails with our entrees and they were huge and delicious. I’m curious to know whether the rotation restaurants served the same lobster tails as Palo. While all the food at Palo was great, two items still have me salivating a month later. The rack of lamb was the best rack of lamb I had ever eaten. And the lasagne bolognese (a special that night) was incredible.

Just as the chocolate soufflés were being served the pager went off. I didn’t know until later that evening that a text message accompanies the page. We weren’t instructed on this when we received the pager in the terminal on Day One. Not knowing whether the page was related to Alex, I left to check on the kids. This was a disappointment as we were celebrating Karen’s and Bobbie’s birthdays at Palo. They didn’t know that I had arranged with Noeme to have decorated happy birthday plates delivered following the chocolate soufflés.

I went to check on Alex first, but it turned out to be Eva that had us paged because she wanted to see us. I thought that we weren’t supposed to be paged for such a “non-emergency” when the counselors knew we were at Palo, but I didn’t see the point in making an issue of it as I had mostly finished my meal. Of course when I arrived, Eva was busy with the club’s activity and had forgotten that she had me paged. Grrrrr!!!! I shouldn’t have returned for that darn pager.

We all very much enjoyed Disney Dreams and called it an early night following the show. Waiting for Alex upon our return to the cabins was a present from the Lab which included a stuffed Goofy sailor and a fishing hat signed by Mickey and the gang. Also included was a “Feel Better Soon” card that was made by a boy Alex had become friendly with in the Lab and signed by all the kids in the Lab. Alex was overjoyed as evidenced in this photo:

Them Disney folk sure know how to make a kid feel special.

 

[JDBlair]

If I've helped one wife get her husband to get a massage from the recounting of my spa experience, then I'm glad I told my story. Guys, you don't know what you're missing.

A male friend of mine recently went to a spa here in town to have a massage. His wife got him one for some gift-giving occassion. He dreaded going. Then he returned to work with tales of how relaxed he felt all weekend after his massage and if he could afford it, he'd do it often!

 

[discruiselovers97]

Jane from the Lab was terrific.

Omg This was my daughters favorite Castmember (besides Pikey) EVER! My daughter had just turned 13 and HATED The Stack so her and her 5 other friends met Jane and Jane at like 11 o'clock would let her and her friends to go into the lab or show them something else that was "So Incredible Cool"(as my daughter said it). She is GREAT!