Thanksgiving family rant!!

[experiment626mom]

Spoke with my mom on Sunday, she let's me know that my sister and bil won't be able to make out for Thanksgiving. Okay, I'll make plans for mom, myself and dh. But tell my mom that if things change and they can make it Thanksgiving day to let me know.

Sister calls last night and leaves a message. They can't make it out Thursday or Friday (my guess is that they have plans with friends) But they will be coming out Saturday and to let her know who's cooking and if she can bring dessert.

Now, I have all ready made plans for the holiday weekend, including Saturday!! So now I have to call my mom and find out what the heck is going on. My mom is 80 and while still very capable, really isn't up to cooking a large meal. This is nothing new with my sister. She either does something like this OR insists that she's not coming and then call the morning of the holiday to tell you that she is getting in the car to drive out. (She lives 2 1/2 hours away.) And then when she gets here, expects to be waited on hand and foot. Won't help clear the table or dry a dish. If we are invited to her house, it's the same thing. Won't clear her table, won't wash a dish, sits on her butt directing us where to put things away at.

Some days....

 

[bananiem]

Why does your Mom have to get stuck in the middle of this? Call your sister and tell her you have plans for Saturday and that you're cooking on Thursday. If she wants to come on Saturday the leftovers will be in the fridge.

 

[C.Ann]

Why does your Mom have to get stuck in the middle of this? Call your sister and tell her you have plans for Saturday and that you're cooking on Thursday. If she wants to come on Saturday the leftovers will be in the fridge.

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Good idea!

 

[experiment626mom]

Why does your Mom have to get stuck in the middle of this? Call your sister and tell her you have plans for Saturday and that you're cooking on Thursday. If she wants to come on Saturday the leftovers will be in the fridge.

Hmmmm that would go over like a lead balloon. Mom insists on knowing what's going on, that's why the phone call.

 

[EthansMom]

I agree with the other posters. Call your sister and let her know that you already have plans for Saturday and it's unfortunate that you're going to miss her visit. If your Mom insists on knowing everything that's going on, let her know that sis called and said something about getting together on Saturday but you already had other plans.

Good Luck!

 

[Tiggerkeeper]

We must have the same sister! LOL! Is she younger? Mine is and she thinks she is a princess! This will mark the first year that she will be having ALL holidays with her friends or whoever she can mooch off of...Merry Christmas to me, Merry Christmas to me...........Here's to a stress free holiday season!!

 

[minniecarousel]

Maybe it's time to set her straight. Traveling 2 1/2 hours each way on Thanksgiving Day is a bit much. But to announce the day that she can come is unacceptable. I'd offer Mom the leftovers for her Saturday visit with Sis.

 

[Trish Bessette]

I agree with others, keep Mom out of it and settle it with your sister. Don't give her the chance to choose, you tell her the way it is this year.

 

[imsorry]

Tell her you already have plans; suggest they order in (chinese, pizza, etc)
and eat on paper plates so you Mom isn't left with a mess. She can still feel free to bring dessert!

 

[poohandwendy]

I would keep my leftovers (why re you responsible for their meal when you aren't around?) and tell her that while you cannot get together with them on Saturday, due to other plans, you think it would be a great idea for them to visit Mom...they could even take her out for dinner. I'll bet that would be a nice treat for her!

 

[diznygirl]

Call your sister - then call your mom. Problem solved.

 

[SpecialK]

Sounds like my older sister. I'd let her know that you have plans, nobody's cooking, mom's doing a dessert and sis can bring or order dinner. (of course, if this was my sister she'd run for the hills when she heard she would actually be expected to contribute...)

 

[experiment626mom]

Glad to hear there are others here with siblings like mine. She's my older sister and the world does revolve around her. (or so she thinks) My mom is not happy that we will not be over on Saturday. Gave me the guilt trip of "How many more holidays does she have with her children around her." At the rate she's going, she's going to outlive me!! I can tell this isn't over yet.

 

[Pam]

I would keep my leftovers (why re you responsible for their meal when you aren't around?) and tell her that while you cannot get together with them on Saturday, due to other plans, you think it would be a great idea for them to visit Mom...they could even take her out for dinner. I'll bet that would be a nice treat for her!

I was thinking the same thing - let them take your Mom out for dinner.

 

[diskids2]

Why does your Mom have to get stuck in the middle of this? Call your sister and tell her you have plans for Saturday and that you're cooking on Thursday. If she wants to come on Saturday the leftovers will be in the fridge.

I could not have said this better myself. I would not waste one more minute on worrying about this.

 

[diskids2]

Glad to hear there are others here with siblings like mine. She's my older sister and the world does revolve around her. (or so she thinks) My mom is not happy that we will not be over on Saturday. Gave me the guilt trip of "How many more holidays does she have with her children around her." At the rate she's going, she's going to outlive me!! I can tell this isn't over yet.

Ok I can totally relate. I have a DAD like this. I want to tell you something and I know it is hard, but you are going to be there on Thanksgiving which is the holiday. Your sister has made plans to come Saturday. It sounds to me like you are the one in the family who always "gives in" and changes plans, etc. Don't do it this time. I have a brother just like this and my life was miserable until I took the stand with my DAD and said NO.

My Dad and I have a much better relationship and the guilt goes where it needs to be directed, if you know what I mean.

The suggestions about going out to dinner on Saturday - your sister and Mom I mean, are really good.

 

[disneymom3]

I totally agree with diskids2! Your mom needs to direct her guilt trip at your sister. YOU are the one who will be there on the holiday as your mom wants. It's not your problem that your sister is too busy or whatever to get there on the actual day. Not your problem that she thinks the world revolves around her either.

I have a sister who used to be like this. Thankfully she has grown up a lot in the last 10 years and doesn't act this way anymore.