Thankful for family, but.....

[turkeymama]

Why do they insist on questioning me about DD9 not being allowed to ride in the front seat? I think there are three types of people. Those who allow aunts/uncles/granny/papaw to use their own judgement with kids and those who try to control every little thing when kids are with family members. I fall somewhere in the middle. My daughter has food allergies so I have to be persistent about the foods she eats. That isn't a negotiable thing.

However, my mother rarely makes them buckle up in the car (DS is 5 and still needs a booster, according to state law), and when she finally does, she allows my 9 year old to ride in the front seat. Louisiana law doesn't require a child be a certain age to ride in the front seat, but I've always read the recommended age is 12 years old. DD is average height for her age. She is small, but still a healthy weight. She isn't tall enough for the seatbelt to even fit her properly (even in the back seat, we still use that little adjustor thingy), and then there is the airbag issue in the front seat. I realize I'm a little prudish about the whole seatbelt thing, especially considering my family's standards. My nephew has been out of booster and riding in the front seat since he was 4.

So I just got off the phone with my sister and she asked if DD could sit in the front seat (they're headed to a Thanksgiving party). I said no, and she proceeded to try to make me feel really dumb for my decision. To me, this is a safety thing. Why can't they just let this one go?

*side rant, she also got mad because I said I didn't think it was a good idea for DD to watch Twilight.

 

[nutterbutter2010]

Why do they insist on questioning me about DD9 not being allowed to ride in the front seat? I think there are three types of people. Those who allow aunts/uncles/granny/papaw to use their own judgement with kids and those who try to control every little thing when kids are with family members. I fall somewhere in the middle. My daughter has food allergies so I have to be persistent about the foods she eats. That isn't a negotiable thing.

However, my mother rarely makes them buckle up in the car (DS is 5 and still needs a booster, according to state law), and when she finally does, she allows my 9 year old to ride in the front seat. Louisiana law doesn't require a child be a certain age to ride in the front seat, but I've always read the recommended age is 12 years old. DD is average height for her age. She is small, but still a healthy weight. She isn't tall enough for the seatbelt to even fit her properly (even in the back seat, we still use that little adjustor thingy), and then there is the airbag issue in the front seat. I realize I'm a little prudish about the whole seatbelt thing, especially considering my family's standards. My nephew has been out of booster and riding in the front seat since he was 4.

So I just got off the phone with my sister and she asked if DD could sit in the front seat (they're headed to a Thanksgiving party). I said no, and she proceeded to try to make me feel really dumb for my decision. To me, this is a safety thing. Why can't they just let this one go?

*side rant, she also got mad because I said I didn't think it was a good idea for DD to watch Twilight.

Personally, I think your family is irrisponcible (sp??) and plain dumb to allow that. When will they learn - when a grandchilds head goes through the windshield?? Sad.

 

[Disneychix]

wow, our NYS law just bumped up children to have to be in a seat until age 8!!

And in NYS you can't, by law, ride in the front until age 12 or 13.

Maybe you should look at your local laws, print them and pass them out to family!

 

[turkeymama]

wow, our NYS law just bumped up children to have to be in a seat until age 8!!

And in NYS you can't, by law, ride in the front until age 12 or 13.

Maybe you should look at your local laws, print them and pass them out to family!

Big sis is married to a police officer and her BIL is also a police officer. All these pesky laws don't apply to them.

 

[Missy1961]

I think this is way my sisters, brothers, sisters-in-law & brothers-in-law love my dad so much--he keeps up with the laws regarding kids traveling in the car. He won't so much as start up the car until each of them is buckled up. No kids sit in the front at all.

I will never understand grandparents or aunts or uncles that tell parents they are over doing it when it comes to safety--especially when the parents are simply following the guidelines. And what's up with taking kids to movies that parents don't want them to see? I'm an aunt of 14--I don't take the kids to any movie without parental consent.

 

[Missy1961]

Big sis is married to a police officer and her BIL is also a police officer. All these pesky laws don't apply to them.

You think they'd know better. I'm just shaking my head here.

 

[MinnieTink]

You are 100% right in protecting your children. Everyone in a car, adult or child, needs a seat belt. They are being ignorant.

 

[disykat]

In all our vehicles it says right on a big sticker on the passenger seat side visor that 12 and under are supposed to ride in the back. I showed it regularly to my children, who didn't ride in front until age 13. Perhaps they need to see that as well?

It sounds like your family shouldn't be trusted to transport your kids. You are not being prudish.

 

[grumpeeduck]

You go right on insisting, and don't ever let them make you feel bad for being a good parent and keeping your children safe.

 

[luvsJack]

I agree with the seat belt rule and with the booster seat until the law says its ok without one. (although I have seen 8 year olds that would never fit in a booster seat)

OTOH, dd has been sitting in the front since around 9 or 10. I read the manual for the car I had at the time and it said at a certain height/weight and with the seat in the "all the way back" position. In the car I have now and in Mom's car, the air bag automatically goes off if there is not enough weight in the seat.

I think the laws, whether booster seat laws or sitting in the front seat, should be for height/weight not age. Kids just come in too many different sizes.


But, for whatever reason, I firmly believe that your family should respect your decisions on the safety of your children. I have a great-niece that is close in age to dd. Her mom is much more particular than I am about things. When she goes with us somewhere I make sure she follows her mom's rules; I don't let her relax to my rules because that's just not fair to her or to her mom.

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

I agree with the seat belt rule and with the booster seat until the law says its ok without one. (although I have seen 8 year olds that would never fit in a booster seat)

OTOH, dd has been sitting in the front since around 9 or 10. I read the manual for the car I had at the time and it said at a certain height/weight and with the seat in the "all the way back" position. In the car I have now and in Mom's car, the air bag automatically goes off if there is not enough weight in the seat.
I think the laws, whether booster seat laws or sitting in the front seat, should be for height/weight not age. Kids just come in too many different sizes.


But, for whatever reason, I firmly believe that your family should respect your decisions on the safety of your children. I have a great-niece that is close in age to dd. Her mom is much more particular than I am about things. When she goes with us somewhere I make sure she follows her mom's rules; I don't let her relax to my rules because that's just not fair to her or to her mom.

I just wanted to post a little PSA. It's really not a good idea. The bones need to fully develop in a child and that doesn't really happen until aroung 13 or so. Height/weight really doesn't apply to bone structure. However your child, your choice. I don't really trust the airbag off to not fail in an accident anyway but that's just me.

 

[Sparx]

i think your family is being very irresponsible with the seating/seatbelt issues.

but, (no flames here, i'm just curious) why didn't you want your 9yo to see twilight?

 

[turkeymama]

No flames about the Twilight comment, at least not from me. I think a lot of the content is just too mature for her. I don't have a problem with the movie itself, maybe if she was a little older. The only PG 13 movie she has seen is the Narnia movies (at least I think that's what it was rated).

 

[NikitaZee]

I'm usually prepared for the comments we get at family functions - and I know exactly who will say them. What I'm waiting to hear is - 'Why does he still have a passy? He's 2 years old and too old for that thing'. I got it with my other two kids as well - they're in kindergarten and 3rd grade now and guess what? No passy! And no issues with their teeth, either.

 

[Minniemama350]

Keep up the good work being a parent. You're doing great! I too have some family members that think I am overprotective about these issues. You would think your family could support you, but sometimes they are themost hardheaded about these things! Keep up the good fight. You're not alone...

 

[NotUrsula]

Mostly I suspect because they see your position as a put-down of their own choices. Citing the safety recommendations in this case actually tends to make it worse, because you are, in effect, implying that by ignoring such recommendations or not agreeing with them, that they don't care about your child's safety, or more importantly, their own childrens' safety.

Honestly, in this case, the best answer is, "because I'm her mother and I said so, and I don't want to discuss it any further." You really cannot argue with a reason like that because it isn't rational, so you cut them off at the knees. (You'll still come off to them as uppity, but that can't be helped.)

 

[arminnie]

I so wish they'd had that rule when my niece and nephews were children. There was always a fight about who could ride up front.

 

[jemgumby]

Reminds of when my DD was a baby and of course we made it clear that if she is to be in the car she is to be in a car seat. My mother-in-law used to feel sorry for her in the car seat and say "it is just so confining." Uh, Duh, that was the point!!!

 

[okeydokey]

You are right on both counts and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. The rules in your family are she doesn't ride in the front seat and you decide the movies. In my house, PG-13 means no watching until 13 and I do enforce that at other people's houses too. If they insist on the movie then we leave. (Or we would leave if we had to but so far people have been understanding.)

 

[disney1990]

Why do they insist on questioning me about DD9 not being allowed to ride in the front seat? I think there are three types of people. Those who allow aunts/uncles/granny/papaw to use their own judgement with kids and those who try to control every little thing when kids are with family members. I fall somewhere in the middle. My daughter has food allergies so I have to be persistent about the foods she eats. That isn't a negotiable thing.

However, my mother rarely makes them buckle up in the car (DS is 5 and still needs a booster, according to state law), and when she finally does, she allows my 9 year old to ride in the front seat. Louisiana law doesn't require a child be a certain age to ride in the front seat, but I've always read the recommended age is 12 years old. DD is average height for her age. She is small, but still a healthy weight. She isn't tall enough for the seatbelt to even fit her properly (even in the back seat, we still use that little adjustor thingy), and then there is the airbag issue in the front seat. I realize I'm a little prudish about the whole seatbelt thing, especially considering my family's standards. My nephew has been out of booster and riding in the front seat since he was 4.

So I just got off the phone with my sister and she asked if DD could sit in the front seat (they're headed to a Thanksgiving party). I said no, and she proceeded to try to make me feel really dumb for my decision. To me, this is a safety thing. Why can't they just let this one go?

*side rant, she also got mad because I said I didn't think it was a good idea for DD to watch Twilight.

They are your children and you are the person that has to live the results. If they can't follow your rules, then the kids should not go with them. My children were not allowed to ride in the front seat until they were 12 and even then, if the backseat was available, they sat in the back.