Terrible delima-$$ is missing

[arminnie]

When my mother was terminally ill with cancer we used a lot of home health aides. I had NO PROBLEM in dismissing anyone who even looked at my mother wrong. Just a phone call that said "Do not send this one back". I never had to have a reason although I would share it if I did.

At one point we had 24/7 aides in the hospital room with her. They were there to provide immediate service if she needed to go to the bathroom or needed a nurse to be called. Going outside for smoke breaks was TOTALLY NOT ACCEPTABLE. That was NO second chance.

When you are talking about vulnerable elders or children there is no reason not to get rid of the person immediately. Every agency I ever worked with was able to send out a replacement right away.

If a helper abused your child would you let them keep coming?

 

[C.Ann]

Seems kind of obvious to me.. I would not keep a thief employed in my elderly mother's home.. What do you think you should do?

 

[Mimi1965]

Thanks for your input everyone

As explained before-it could be either sitter OR she or her DH could have moved the money-still working on all this

 

[OceanAnnie]

Thanks for your input everyone

As explained before-it could be either sitter OR she or her DH could have moved the money-still working on all this

I'm wondering if I'm reading this right. Are you referring to the sitter's DH?

 

[Dr.Girlfriend]

Thanks for your input everyone

As explained before-it could be either sitter OR she or her DH could have moved the money-still working on all this

Just curious, why do you think it's a specific caretaker? Has she shown anything that makes you think she/he is untrustworthy?

 

[Dr.Girlfriend]

I'm wondering if I'm reading this right. Are you referring to the sitter's DH?

I think she means her mother's husband....her stepfather?

 

[walden]

I'm wondering if I'm reading this right. Are you referring to the sitter's DH?

I'm going out on a limb here, but I think that the OP does not quite know yet what has happened from her posts. The OP is dealing with this appropriately and carefully. I respect her for her attitude and I respect her for her care.

Per her posts:

It could be that Mom has misplaced something. It could be that Mom's DH has moved something so that Mom can't find something.

It could be "caregiver #1" (I refuse to say sitter) but the OP thinks she is trustworthy because she is a known quantity.

It could be "caregiver #2" the agency employee (prime suspect). The OP has notified the agency, as she very much should if there are any suspicions.

I just want to say as a person who has dealt with a demented FIL who has accused everyone of stealing (including his homemaker, me, his Parish Priest and my SIL, his beloved daughter who is also a Catholic sister) that things are not always as they seem.

Taking this well away from the OP's situation for a moment:

As a former supervisor of home-makers and home health aides -- you would not believe how many times those poor under-paid, under-appreciated, and frequently totally dedicated people are unjustly accused. Either due to the seniors confusion, or due to over-reactive relations who took Momma's word for it because they were in denial over Mom's mental health status. For 7,500+ accusations, I remember only one was guilty. And, OMG, she was prosecuted to the max. The Agency felt humiliated. For the rest -- I cannot count how many homemakers and health aides I knew who went above and beyond their official duties for love of their clients. With little thanks or appreciation. We all discuss the rare bad apples. The good apples are ignored.

As a former Adult Protective Services person, 10+ years in that field: Yep, people most certainly steal from or financially exploit vulnerable seniors. In order of magnitude in my experience of financial exploitation: family members (no, I DO NOT mean the OP just speaking statistically), stranger scams, trusted "friends" in caregiving positions, but coming in at a distant last are the agency CORI checked (at least in my state) employees of Home Heath Agencies.

Back to topic: the OP has put safeguards in place. She loves her Mom and has taken safety measures and has notified the agency.

The OP is doing things very right. IMO.

 

[Mimi1965]

Thank you Walden

Yes-My Mom has a husband -who is out of the house during the day -thus the Caregivers

We have control of Mom's checkbook, Power of Attorney-check her mail every other day.

We had a small stash of cash-less than $100 that is missing/another stash that could have been moved. No longer will we keep cash in the house-lesson learned.

Trying to be cautious and not accuse the wrong person

 

[C.Ann]

Thank you Walden

Yes-My Mom has a husband -who is out of the house during the day -thus the Caregivers

We have control of Mom's checkbook, Power of Attorney-check her mail every other day.

We had a small stash of cash-less than $100 that is missing/another stash that could have been moved. No longer will we keep cash in the house-lesson learned.

Trying to be cautious and not accuse the wrong person

I think you confused quite a few people with this title of your thread:

Terrible delima-Sitter stole $$ from Mom ..

Maybe you could change that to "might have"..

 

[Mimi1965]

tHANKS for the suggestion C.Ann

 

[C.Ann]

tHANKS for the suggestion C.Ann

Much better! And good luck with trying to solve this mystery..

 

[m&m's mom]

Well good luck finding out who did it.
My DD was born very premature. We took her home after 4 months with 24 hour Pediatric RN's. Although DD was fine and stable, the insurance offered and we accepted.
Well my DH and I were home w/ the nurses basically 24/7 for 3 months. After the nurses were finished, my DH came home one day after getting the mail and there was a NSF from the bank.
To make a very long story short, while we were sleeping the nurses were rifling through his business paperwork and his wallet. They wrote checks like crazy and made identical CC's and charged all over town.
We called the police and they were obviously not taking any of this seriously. Turns out since CC were limited on liability and the checks were mostly NSF (They were stupid enough to steal personal checks and not the business ones where they saw the large balance) - we were really not out that much $. I told the police officer "These nurses were RN home health care nurses with a specialty in Pediatrics. Would you want these people in your house taking care of your sick child?".
Bottom line is through extensive, extensive investigation it was never determined which one of the 3 nurses actually did it.