Tell Me It Gets Better Eventually....Please

[becka]

It is not even 8:00 and while I have two kids sleeping (which should be a great thing) I am just so shot. Lately my kids separately would probably be fine but trying to handle both of them at the same time is just more than I can deal with most days. DS 4 is going through a really rough spell right now and he has been getting aggressive (pushing his sister) and somewhat destructive (tearing up toys) not to mention mouthy. DD on the other hand is almost 18 months old and this is such a difficult age. She has no patience and is just very demanding and seems to pitch a fit everytime you tell her "No" which unfortunately for us is about 5 gazillion times a day.

I think DS is in part responding to DD's ever changing behavior. She just will NOT stay out of stuff and as a result it is very difficult for DS to play a game with us or plays with his trains, etc.. while she is awake. We can try to play with him but DD makes it just about impossible. As a result he has really gotten mad at his sister and as I mentioned earlier it is manifesting itself in lots of physical ways. This of course is not allowed so he is punished, gets mad, blames his sister and the cycle starts again. Plus DD apparently does not like it when DS is punished so when he is in time out she will cry and get upset because then he is not available to play. Aaaarrrrggggghhhhh!!!!

Calgon take me away....because this margarita just isn't doing it!

Can someone be a sport and lie to me and tell me it really will get easier?

 

[llij]

Awwww.....I'm sorry to hear how tough things have been. Hang in there though....I does get better! I promise it really does!

 

[kdibattista]

No advice or words of wisdom but I can offer a

 

[Pop Daddy]

nope, thats is good as it gets

 

[slk537]

Oh you are preaching to the choir tonight!!!

DS is right now laughing as DH is trying to get him dried from his bath, where he was splashing and being obnoxious. I couldn't handle it anymore, so I had DH come in and help. DS has been pushing buttons all day and my patience is gone.

Sigh...now he has gone from playing and laughing to crying as though his heart will break (bedtime does that sometimes). Sigh...

I'll join you for margaritas, if I may.

 

[lovmy2girls]

Ok I will lie to you and tell you......It will get easier! Not!

Mine are 10 1/2 months apart, age 7 and 8 right now, and they are just things! I love them so much, but my hubby and I keep saying just wait till their out of the house. Yeah!!!!!! But then a whole new set of worries will be there too I'm sure.

Hang in there! Your not alone. There are so many more just like us out there trying to hold on too.

 

[barkley]

it DOES get better.....when one gets old enuf to go away to summer camp 7 days and counting till ds becomes an only child for 2 lovely weeks! but i tell ya, by about day 3 he starts asking 'when will sis be home?'.

 

[Spinning]

Your kid area spaced about the same as mine. It does get better! I have a DD first then DS. My DD around the same age as your son, became very aggressive towards her brother. Got so bad I couldn't leave the room or I knew she would do something. It was thankfully a very brief time. I have no idea what triggered it or why. But here is what we did to help the situation.....
1. when she caused him pain she needed to do something to fix it, either get him his favorite stuffed animal, boo boo bunny, hug etc....
2. They both need individual time. So DH and I would split up. I would take one kid and go do something he would have the other. We would switch off. We still were together a lot but we found they needed some one on one time.
3. Make sure your older child is getting enough rest and fluids.
4. Find activities they can do together that suit both kids. One of the best things we did was to make home made playdough. They had fun making it and then would play for a long time with it.


It will pass. But how you handle it will make all the difference in the world. Plus watch that you aren't choosing sides or blaming one over the other. YOu need to stay neutral but loving. Even when frustrated. My kids are great buddies now. Sure they have their moments but for the most part they work it out. They are now 10 and 8!
Good luck!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

nope, thats is good as it gets

Pop Daddy, BAD!!!

Becka, yes, I will lie to you, uh, I mean yes, it does get better. No, really, it does. It won't always be better, because they do turn into teenagers and you could have one grow up and turn out like Pop Daddy , but you have a while before either of those things will happen. At the very least, you will be able to send them to school soon. You aren't homeschooling, right? If so, you can always change your mind. Just kidding for those of you who home school!

I have 4 kids and have had ups and downs with them. Right now things are pretty good, but I have really been through a lot with my youngest. Things started out so good, but from 1-5yo he really was a handful. Honestly, there were times that I wondered why we had him and I really doubted myself as a mother. Nevermind that I had 3 other kids who I'd done a fairly good job with (they're all older--were 6, 9, and 12yo when Jake was born). Jake is now 6yo and still is a challenge, but is also a delight. There are more good times than bad and I can say that I really enjoy my time with him and miss him when we're not together.

Hang in there with your children and remember one of my favorite sayings, "This, too, shall pass.".

 

[becka]

I'll join you for margaritas, if I may.

Come over and join me! I was too stressed to make them from scratch so I just have the little bottles of pre-made margaritas right now. I now know that the primary market for these bottles must be for moms of young children!

I do know this is all probably really normal but the last few weeks have just been extra hard and I am not seeing the end in sight. I have not been in the best mood either and I know that does not help things because I am way too quick to yell at both of them then. It just seems like two adults really should be able to handle two little kids better than we are currently. Sometimes it really just feels like a game and they are winning!

 

[TheDisneyTraveler06]

I understand what you're going through. DD14 and DS5 constantly bicker, just because they can. Things WILL get better. Keep the faith.

 

[Horseshoes]

When they are teenagers, you will look back on this and think how easy it was.

 

[paigevz]

I was having a rough time last week and you know what I did? I took them outside..............I don't have one as young as yours, but I do have one the size of your oldest. I took him out on his trike and older ds rode his bike. Then we went for a walk and had to look at every leaf and rock we passed, found some fossils in the new development down the road. It was really hot, but I just sunscreened them and took some water with us.

It worked so well, that I've been making a point to take them out with me for some physical time each day, usually swimming, bike/trike rides and walking, but one day we weeded the flower bed and one day we just scooped dog poop in the back!

They are ready for bed earlier, we're all in a better mood, and they seem more likely to want to go play in their own rooms when we get back.

I don't know if it'll work for you, but it did for me!

 

[Nancy]

Come over and join me! I was too stressed to make them from scratch so I just have the little bottles of pre-made margaritas right now. I now know that the primary market for these bottles must be for moms of young children!

I do know this is all probably really normal but the last few weeks have just been extra hard and I am not seeing the end in sight. I have not been in the best mood either and I know that does not help things because I am way too quick to yell at both of them then. It just seems like two adults really should be able to handle two little kids better than we are currently. Sometimes it really just feels like a game and they are winning!

Your last line hit the nail on the head! It does seem that way sometimes. BUT in all honesty it will get better. My first 2 were 18 months apart, number 3 showed up 2 1/2 years later so I had 3 kids under age 5 and my oldest hadn't started kindergarden yet. We had some really BAD days, and then some really good days. Kiddie pool was a life saver for me. We would pack up, go to the pool and the kids would get so tired out they had no time for fighting and the fresh air helped them sleep really good. I also had the kiddie pool in the yard so if it did get yucky after dinner back in the water they went, my girls were little fishies in the summer!

 

[Keli]

You know, it will get better. But it will also get much worse, lol. The thing is there is so many incredibly wonderful times squished between the aggrivating ones. By the time it's all said in done you're old and grey but you've got a lot of good memories and the bad ones have pretty much all faded away.

 

[MoniqueU]

If it hasn't been said yet, no it in fact gets worse. Teenagers

 

[annegal]

My two kids are close in age & it got easier when they were able to seperate and play with their own friends. Just hang in there , toots!

 

[Ready to go in Ok]

It gets better, then worse, then better, then worse.

Mine are 12 and 14 (15 next month). I tell them often, your goal in life should be 1. graduate from high school 2. Go to college and get your degree doing what you love 3. Get out of my house! They think I am kidding.....

 

[minniecarousel]

Oh, I remeber those days! Our 2 sons are 2 1/2 years apart. DH looked at me a few years ago when I wailed and asked where my little boys had gone! (they are now 24 & 26 years old!) He reminded me that the years flew by, but some of those days were excrutiatingly loooong! Yes, I does get better - I went to seminars like "How to Talk so your kids will Listen and Listen so your kids will Talk" (or something like that!) Each age has its' trials (oh - the teenage years !!!shriek!!! you'll be begging for these days when they're older!)

Hang in there - don't know what else to say!

 

[fabumouse]

I hear you! My DD5 has been fighting with her camp counselors and staying up until all hours in her bedroom each night, so she's nice and exhausted in the morning. And the cycle repeats itself each fresh new day.

How many weeks until Kindergarten saves me from this nonsense??

And I'm pregnant, so no margaritas for me.

But she's so much better now than when she was 18 months old and throwing 10 minute tantrums because she couldn't push the cart at the grocery store. I know it MUST get better.