tell a joke and make us all laugh

[Tiggeroo]

If I have to hear one more word about plastic wrap and duct tape I will scream. So go ahead post a funny joke or story. Make us all chuckle.

Knock knock
who's there
Dick and Jimmy
Dick and Jimmy who
Dick em up and jimmy your money

 

[lisajl]

Ok...this one is for the Ohio people...
(let me preface this by saying Dayton and Marion are Ohio towns)

WHAT IS BETWEEN DAYTON AND MARION?





GIVE UP?



ENGAGEMENT!!!!

That was given to me by a first grader...should I give it back?

Lisajl

 

[fantasymagic]

THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN (HONEST AND NO KIDDING)

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to raise a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.

.....It is strong enough (if tied to a paint can), to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

.....A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double pane) does not stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.

11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.