Teens responsible for all purchases using monthly allowance...anyone do this?

[leagirl12]

DD12 (she will be 13 in February) approached us about an article she read a while back about a girl who's mom gave her a set amount per week and the girl was then responsible for all clothing purchases. DD wants to do this. Just wondering if anyone has any experience with this.

Currently DD and DS get $10 a week allowance for the chores they do. DH and I pay for everything else they want to do or need. I think this might be good for both to teach them about spending and saving. We haven't talked with DS13 (will be 14 next month) about this yet so not sure how he feels about it.

I was thinking if we do it we might give a set amount and have them be responsible for all clothing and fun purchases...including fun with friends, snacks at football games..stuff like that.

If you do this...how much do you give and what all are your children responsible for?

 

[kamik86]

DD12 (she will be 13 in February) approached us about an article she read a while back about a girl who's mom gave her a set amount per week and the girl was then responsible for all clothing purchases. DD wants to do this. Just wondering if anyone has any experience with this.

Currently DD and DS get $10 a week allowance for the chores they do. DH and I pay for everything else they want to do or need. I think this might be good for both to teach them about spending and saving. We haven't talked with DS13 (will be 14 next month) about this yet so not sure how he feels about it.

I was thinking if we do it we might give a set amount and have them be responsible for all clothing and fun purchases...including fun with friends, snacks at football games..stuff like that.

If you do this...how much do you give and what all are your children responsible for?

For how much to give I would think about how much you spend now. Give them about that much and see how they do with it. You may be surprised how much more willing they are to find a deal or go with something less expensive when its "their" money.

 

[Kies99]

My first question would be how much control are you going to have over what she picks out and buys?

I know my 9yo DD and I would not let her pick our her own clothes.

She thinks she's already 16.

 

[Darcy03231]

Well every family's finances are different so I would figure out what you normally spend yearly on clothing and activities and divide by 52.

When my kids were in their early teens I got tired of having the arguments over brand name clothing so I gave them each a clothing budget and we shopped twice a year (fall for fall/winter and spring for spring/summer). It solved lots of my headaches. There was no more fighting and they learned over time to spend more wisely. My fashionista is now 20 and buys all her own clothes. She doesn't buy anything that's not on sale or on the clearance rack. Makes me proud!

 

[OrangeCountyCommuter]

My mother actually did something like this years ago. I got a "budget" and that was what I could spend on clothing.

She got "Veto" power. I think she only veto'd one item however.

 

[4HppyCamprs]

I have not done this with my children because they are too little but I had this when I was younger and I was given 40.00 a week. Now the trends when I was a teenager were not as revealing as they are today so that really wasnt as big a issue.. (ie if you wore a tank top you wore a flannel over it or overalls). I think with today's trends I would still want to retain the right to veto clothing purchases if needed. Maybe have her show you the clothes she picks before removing the tags (she doesn't drive so this makes it easier ) Budgeting is a good lesson to learn!!

 

[okeydokey]

I think it could work as long as the teen realizes what "all" purchases means. Need a birthday gift for a friend and you already spent all your money for the week, too bad. Think of everything you pay for now, haircuts, sports teams, memberships, etc.

 

[Kitzka]

We do this sort of with DD 13. I go with her 3 times a year clothing shopping. I get the basics (winter coat, jeans, new clothes for summer, fall, etc). She knows what i am willing to spend and tries to stay with in budget. Aside from these "shopping sprees" she gets $30 a month allowance (direct deposited into her checking account). this is her going out with friends, additional shopping, grabbing an ice cream etc money. She withdraws the money from the bank using an ATM card.

There are some things that we do have at her disposal. My company has discount movie tickets that can be used at AMC theaters (the gold passes). I usually buy a whole bunch every few months. If she is going with her friends she can either use her own money or use one of the passes. it's her choice and i don't make her pay me for the pass. she's pretty stingy so will often use the passes.

our local fro yo place has a family frequent eater card. when you rack up enuogh points you get a free fro yo. if it comes up when she's there, i let her use it.

I only exercise veto power if it's something that i think is inappropriate for her to wear. often she has purchased a cute dress or hat. i know she won't wear it but i try to teach her that it's a lesson learned about buying not only what you like but what you are likely to use.

I hope this helps.

Lara

 

[Riles_and_Gabe]

I think this is an excellent idea! I am so impressed that your teen brought you the article. You are raising a truly responsible person.

 

[lurkernj]

I have two teen boys (13 and 16) now and don't think I would do this. For one thing, I guess with boys its different in that they could care less about new clothes and that money would get spent on other things while they wore jeans above their ankles.

Right now they each get a lump sum at the beginning of the week to cover their lunch at school plus $10 allowance which they will either spend at dunkindonuts/wendys or save for a video game. I will give them money for movies, bowling, applebees, etc as needed. I would rather do that as they could go over a month without asking for extra, but other weeks they may ask twice. Somehow I think if I gave them a bunch of money they wouldn't ever go anywhere and would pocket it all for a new xbox (which I wouldn't normally pay for).

Maybe for an older teen it would work, but I personally am not comfortable with that at this point in my kids lives.

 

[leagirl12]

We would definitly have to have a talk so that she understands that the rules for what is appropriate to wear would still be in place no matter who was paying for it.

DH and I are going to talk some more about it tonight and also talk to DS about it as well. Family meeting time!

Thanks for the feedback...keep it coming!!!

 

[leagirl12]

I think this is an excellent idea! I am so impressed that your teen brought you the article. You are raising a truly responsible person.

Thank you...I am a proud mom!

Interesting thing....when she proposed it she suggested $20 a week was what she needed. I asked her if she realized that the shirt I had just bought her last week was $18 and she said well "I didn't really have to have it"...she didn't mean it as being ungrateful but to show us that she would be responsible about her purchases, buying what she needed not what she wanted!

She said she could manage because she would shop at thrift stores and only stuff on sale....my savy little shopper.

We may not stick to it but I think we will give it a try for a month or two just to let them experience saving and spending money.

 

[Eliza32]

I think you and your daughter have a very responsible attitude, so good luck with this. I'm sure she will do you proud.

 

[virge]

My parents did something similar when I was a teenager. My allowance went up but I was responsible for all purchases except food. I learned to use coupons for my shampoo, toothpaste, school supplies, etc. Any money I saved was mine to spend as I wished. I also received a lump sum clothing budget 2x a year. I still shopped with my mom & she had veto power over clothing purchases but I had the money so I learned to shop sales or save up for the things I "just had to have".

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

We have a system, if my kids want money they have a list of chores they can do and a monetary value by each chore, they initial next to the chore they did and on payday they get paid what they earned. Their money goes for fun and friend/boyfriend gifts. I will pay for clothes (none of them are into fashion), school supplies and school related expenses. They also pay for going out.

 

[crisi]

We do that to SOME extent. My daughter is good with it, my son is still "I have to buy my OWN snowboard!!!!"

They get two allowances, short term and long term. They additionally get money around special occasions - for instance, they got a $100 school shopping budget not including shoes/underwear or socks.

They are free to use the family shampoo. If my daughter wants special shampoo, she buys it. They are free to eat snacks out of the cupboards, if they want anything special, they buy it. We will spend $X on birthday presents for any parties they get invited to (my son seems to have aged out of the present for birthday party thing, I think girls have a few more years), if they want something more expensive, they add to it. As for that snowboard - I buy the season pass and seed the snowboard, but not enough to pay for the whole thing - they pick up the rest.

 

[eliza61]

DD12 (she will be 13 in February) approached us about an article she read a while back about a girl who's mom gave her a set amount per week and the girl was then responsible for all clothing purchases. DD wants to do this. Just wondering if anyone has any experience with this.

Currently DD and DS get $10 a week allowance for the chores they do. DH and I pay for everything else they want to do or need. I think this might be good for both to teach them about spending and saving. We haven't talked with DS13 (will be 14 next month) about this yet so not sure how he feels about it.

I was thinking if we do it we might give a set amount and have them be responsible for all clothing and fun purchases...including fun with friends, snacks at football games..stuff like that.

If you do this...how much do you give and what all are your children responsible for?

We do a combo. We take care of our teens basics.

For example: we do buy our kids winter jackets, jeans and sneakers (to a point). If my sons wear out their sneakers we don't make them save to buy a new pair but if they want the latest athelete 200 buck sneakers than yeah, they have to save for them.

they get a weely $20 allowance that their fun money. They must save 4 bucks of it and the rest they use for school snacks, movies, football games etc.

We do fun things as a family that they don't pay for. for example: we go to Phillies games, we don't make them buy their own hot dogs. or if we go to the movies as a family, they don't have to pay for their own tickets.

It's a balancing act. One of my sons is a senior in hs. he has a senior trip to wdw in May, we will pay for his trip but he must save for spending money.

 

[DuchessOnWheels]

We also do a combination. DD gets $20 a week for VERY limited chores.

We buy the minimum that is 'needed' such as toiletries (she buys her own makeup) , food including snacks (she forks out the money for her own 'special' stuff), new binder this year, etc. The jacket I was going to buy her was $60, she found another at the last minute for $90. I offered to pay $60 of it if she would pay the rest. She decided the $60 was great!

Her school doesn't allow unnatural hair colors and this summer she wanted purple streaks. The deal: I paid for the bleach and streaks in June and she paid for the salon visit to put her back to normal a few days before school.

She just turned 14 a few weeks ago and we have been doing this since January. She balked at first, but is now making wise choices.

 

[mjkacmom]

My first question would be how much control are you going to have over what she picks out and buys?

I know my 9yo DD and I would not let her pick our her own clothes.

She thinks she's already 16.

Really? Dd8 and dd10 pick out their own clothes - I don't even bother to shop if they're not with me. I can veto something, of course, but they both have their own styles. They will only wear skinny jeans, no boot cut, and love to layer. Dd10 loves hats and boots.

 

[MrsPete]

I use a variation of this idea:

I give my kids an allowance that's enough to cover their needs. My 14-year old gets a weekly allowance (my husband gives her allowance in cash every Friday), and my 17-year old gets a monthly allowance (I deposit into her checking account at the end of the month when I get paid). We've just started the monthly-thing for the oldest child; she requested the change because she thought it'd be more like what she'll have in college and wanted to get used to it.

They're both expected to buy their school lunches, to pay for outings with friends (movie tickets, fast food meals), and the oldest pays for her gas. The oldest receives more money because she has a few more obligations. They're both very thrifty, and neither has ever told me she's out of money. I suspect they've borrowed from one another.

Certain things I give them a certain amount and let them budget it. For example, at back-to-school time I gave the two of them $60 and told them to buy school supplies for the year (they already had backpacks and calculators). They bought a glut of notebooks, loose-leaf paper, pencils, etc. and have a good stock put away. They were very careful about watching the sales, and they made multiple trips to the store, buying only what was on sale that week. They know that if they run out of stuff, it has to come out of their weekly allowance.

Also, at back to school time I gave them each enough money to buy jeans, new shoes, and a few other things -- they each did fine.

My oldest is a senior, and I gave her $100 to spend on her "senior items". I told her that she had to buy a cap & gown (obviously), and we agreed that we want to make her invitations homemade -- we'll think about that later. When she saw the catalog of senior items, she wanted a whole bunch of stuff . . . but in the end, she bought only a cap & gown and a mug with all the seniors' names.

I don't give them a clothing allowance on a regular basis. I don't really know why we don't include clothing in their allowance. I'm not opposed to it.


OP, if your daughter's requesting this type of system, I suspect she's looking for more independence and will be motivated to make it work. I'd give her a chance. My advice: Be very specific on what she's expected to purchase with her allowance. And, if you're including clothing, do discuss what you consider appropriate -- thinking modesty. And be ready to let her fail occasionally. Decide ahead of time whether you'll do "advances".