If I had the chance, I'd say something to the girl directly....something like,
"As you may or may not know, in our household, there's no such thing as privacy on Facebook. You need to know that I've seen photos of you in which it is clear you may be engaged in activity that is illegal and could get you in a significant amount of trouble. So, I think you need to ask yourself whether it's worth it to do what you've been seen by at least one adult doing and how you might best rectify the matter."
BTW, I have no problem calling a friend's mother and saying, "In our household, there's not such thing as privacy on Facebook. Unfortunately, I've seen photos of your daughter and in them, she appears to be consuming alcohol. The reason for my call to you is to simply let you know about something that is obviously very public and potentially problematic for your daughter - not to judge. Please let me know if there's anything I can do. I hate to be viewed as a tattle tale, but I had to ask myself.... if others were aware of something like this and nobody ever told me about it, I'd be pretty upset."
'Cause let me tell you somethin.....the day my kid gets kicked off a sports team or loses college admissions recommendations or whatever due to behavior and actions I didn't know about but lots of other people did.... that's the day I'm going to wonder what signals I've been sending....I want to know. Having to pick up the pieces after the crap hits the fan is so much harder than addressing the issue before it gets to that point.
And if the parents tell you to mind you own beeswax, fair enough.
Facebook is the debil.
"As you may or may not know, in our household, there's no such thing as privacy on Facebook. You need to know that I've seen photos of you in which it is clear you may be engaged in activity that is illegal and could get you in a significant amount of trouble. So, I think you need to ask yourself whether it's worth it to do what you've been seen by at least one adult doing and how you might best rectify the matter."
BTW, I have no problem calling a friend's mother and saying, "In our household, there's not such thing as privacy on Facebook. Unfortunately, I've seen photos of your daughter and in them, she appears to be consuming alcohol. The reason for my call to you is to simply let you know about something that is obviously very public and potentially problematic for your daughter - not to judge. Please let me know if there's anything I can do. I hate to be viewed as a tattle tale, but I had to ask myself.... if others were aware of something like this and nobody ever told me about it, I'd be pretty upset."
'Cause let me tell you somethin.....the day my kid gets kicked off a sports team or loses college admissions recommendations or whatever due to behavior and actions I didn't know about but lots of other people did.... that's the day I'm going to wonder what signals I've been sending....I want to know. Having to pick up the pieces after the crap hits the fan is so much harder than addressing the issue before it gets to that point.
And if the parents tell you to mind you own beeswax, fair enough.
Facebook is the debil.
It just boggles my mind how parents are not friends with their kids on FB. I'm appalled at the things that show up that I'm sure the parents would be horrified to know exist. However, it's also their stupidity that keeps them from being friends with their kids in the first place. I feel it's my responsibility to monitor my child until their are no longer a minor. And I have asked my daughter (15, almost 16) to pull things down off her page that her friends have posted or tagged her and others in.
I couldn't believe it. WHAT would have compelled them to do that? Their DD did email me and apologize for the photos, and said she realized she'd made some bad choices. So, while I was a little ticked to be outed as the tattle tale, I still felt I did the right thing.
