Teens, parties and drinking

[sacall]

I believe someone asked about what are the dangers of underage drinking besides being against the law. I found this really good article. I hope my link works.

http://www.ama-assn.org/ama/pub/category/9416.html

It is the AMA report on alcohol's adverse effects on the brains of children, adolescents and college students.

I have two daughters, 10 and 8. My oldest will begin Middle School next year. I have already been warned about the drinking parties of the 7th & 8th graders - kids bringing in alcohol without the parents knowing. She already knows she will not be attending boy/girl parties until at least 8th grade. Any party she is invited to, I better know the parents really well before she can attend. I have already discussed with her what to do if someone is drinking or doing drugs at an event she is attending. I have told her to make me the bad guy - call me and I will get her out of a bad situation.

Good friends of ours, their daughter (she is 17) went to a party where the mother was supplying shots for the kids. Girl had several shots, got behind the wheel of a car and hit a tree. Broke her leg and heel. She will be out of school for at least 4 months and is facing several surgeries to put her foot back together. She is lucky, she could have been killed. The mother who supplied the booze - she will face criminal charges. But, there are many parents in our town who think it is better for the kids to drink at home than drink while driving around. To me, that is a bunch of bull.

Stacy

 

[rbuzzotta]

Just on the news here in the Boston area of police breaking up a party with underage drinkers!! In this house were also many firearms!!! Horrible mix!! Luckily no one was injured but those caught are in court today!!!

Police are taking this serious!!! They have had enough with underage drinking!!

I wish my town police would get a little more involved in breaking these parties up and prosecuting the teens.

As for those saying there is no alcohol in their home and they don't drink so they believe their kids may follow their lead...........I really hope you are right!! Same at my home...........alcohol is locked up.........I have maybe 4-6 glasses of wine per year. DH has not had a drink in 15 years!! He found out his grandfather and Dad were alcoholics and decided to quit when we had DD #1.

We have tried to be positive role models for my DD but does this stop her...........NO!! I know she drinks (caught her twice)but unfortunatley I have not caught her lately!! Next step will be alcohol counseling and she knows that.

We sent her to a therapist, with proof of her drinking and that was the worst thing we could have done!! We picked a screwed up therapist who convinced DD that as parents we needed to lighten up and she was the average teen!!!
We confronted the therapist (acutally DH did) and he told her his thougths. She said she could not discuss anything due to confidentiality issues (fine, I understand that), and would see DD again soon..............that was over 3 weeks ago!!! She has not called to see DD!! I think she was just taking us for our insurance!!! Anways, that's a whole other story!!!

As parents, we need to keep our heads our of the sand and keep an open mind as to that maybe, just maybe, our little princesses and princes aren't perfect!!!

 

[DisneyPhD]

Just on the news here in the Boston area of police breaking up a party with underage drinkers!! In this house were also many firearms!!! Horrible mix!! Luckily no one was injured but those caught are in court today!!!

Police are taking this serious!!! They have had enough with underage drinking!!

I wish my town police would get a little more involved in breaking these parties up and prosecuting the teens.

As for those saying there is no alcohol in their home and they don't drink so they believe their kids may follow their lead...........I really hope you are right!! Same at my home...........alcohol is locked up.........I have maybe 4-6 glasses of wine per year. DH has not had a drink in 15 years!! He found out his grandfather and Dad were alcoholics and decided to quit when we had DD #1.

We have tried to be positive role models for my DD but does this stop her...........NO!! I know she drinks (caught her twice)but unfortunatley I have not caught her lately!! Next step will be alcohol counseling and she knows that.

We sent her to a therapist, with proof of her drinking and that was the worst thing we could have done!! We picked a screwed up therapist who convinced DD that as parents we needed to lighten up and she was the average teen!!!
We confronted the therapist (acutally DH did) and he told her his thougths. She said she could not discuss anything due to confidentiality issues (fine, I understand that), and would see DD again soon..............that was over 3 weeks ago!!! She has not called to see DD!! I think she was just taking us for our insurance!!! Anways, that's a whole other story!!!

As parents, we need to keep our heads our of the sand and keep an open mind as to that maybe, just maybe, our little princesses and princes aren't perfect!!!

Hugs, I am so sorry you are going through this with DD. I do hope that my example will help DD's and niece and nephew, but if it doesn't I at least know it wasn't my example that helped them to drink (just as you should know.)

Your therapist sounds terrible. So sorry and I hope things get better. I agree that we do need to keep our heads out of the sand. I have talked with niece and nephew about teenage drinking, and how common it is. I hope they continue to make good choices regarding it. It still concerns me because I can set my best example as a parent (or aunt, and primary mother figure in this case) but we are still working against so much here. Especially therapist who think "kids will be kids." dismiss your concerns and don't communicate with the family.

Once again so sorry. I hope things get better.

 

[ktbutterfly2011]

My friends are a wide-range, wild-n-crazy group.

I can tell you. I'm fourteen and i'm probably one of the wild-n-crazier ones.
My friends ages range from 12-20 and we all hang out. We have parties at the drop of a hat. There has never been alcohol brought to any of these parties.

I think its all in the friends you choose. If you choose the wrong friends, you're going do get the wrong results. If you choose the right friends, you can still have tons of fun, but you don't have to worry as much.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Is it just me or is anyone else getting a 'I do not ever drink therefore I am better than you' vibe on this thead.

I don't see that at all. I certainly don't feel that way.

 

[transparant]

DD#1 is a member of a teen board associated with an anti-drugs and alcohol group here in town. I couldn't be prouder. I teach in a HS in another town and I hear so many horrible stories. The kids there tell me how strict I am and they are right. If DD goes to a party I go up to the door and meet the folks--drives her nuts. She isn't allowed to date yet (will be 15 in 2 weeks). There are a lot of enabling parents in this town who, if little darling gets arrested, will get the lawyer and rant to the skies about the injustice of it all. I have told my kids that if I get a late night call that they are in jail for underage drinking, have a nice night in jail and maybe I'll see you in the moring.
Also, remember teen athletes (and here this includes extracurriculars like the play) sign a code of conduct agreement saying they won't drink or use alcohol. I know some violate this--but again, if DD got caught drinking, we would be calling her cheerleading coach and accepting the consequences.
BTW, I know this will earn me nothing but flames--but when I have students who brag about heavy drinking, or hear stories about kids who sleep around or are druggies--I have very little if any respect for those kids. If someone in my class had said to take it easy because she was hung over (as mentioned in a previous post)--I would have put all my blinds up to make it bright as possible and come up with an obnoxiously loud activity.
Robin M.

No flames here. You must be my twin!

 

[PrincessTiff]

Is it just me or is anyone else getting a 'I do not ever drink therefore I am better than you' vibe on this thead.

Of course.

 

[Andy B]

One of my favorite pubs in London is Blackfriars. I always took special pleasure from knowing that I was drinking on the supposed site of a monastic brewery and that my MIL would judge me for doing so.

Yes I have had a drink in there but not one of my favourites.

In Nottingham there is a pub called The trip to Jerusalem which legend tells us that was a sop off for Crusaders on the way to the Holy Land.

 

[Andy B]

Does anyone feel it is odd that 'Young People' become adults at different ages for different activities?

 

[Kath2003]

Strikes me as utterly bizarre that you can drive a machine which can kill you, pedestrians, other road users AND your passengers but having one drink is a parental/moral/social sin....

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Strikes me as utterly bizarre that you can drive a machine which can kill you, pedestrians, other road users AND your passengers but having one drink is a parental/moral/social sin....

Again, I don't think anyone is saying that.

By the way, have you ever asked some folks why they chose not to drink, or overindulge?? It's not always a holier-than-thou answer like you might think. My life was changed forever by a drunk driver. How's that for a reason? I have 1-2 drinks a year, and they are usually while on vacation at WDW. A frozen margarita from EPCOT and a mai tai at 'Ohana.

 

[Kath2003]

By the way, have you ever asked some folks why they chose not to drink, or overindulge??

Same reasons I choose not to overindulge, although I drink alcohol on a regular basis. I know the dangers of alcohol, just as you do. I just drink regularly in moderation; I get drunk once a week in a safe environment and never drink until I'm ill, unable to get home or do things I regret.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Same reasons I choose not to overindulge, although I drink alcohol on a regular basis. I know the dangers of alcohol, just as you do. I just drink regularly in moderation; I get drunk once a week in a safe environment and never drink until I'm ill, unable to get home or do things I regret.

It may be a language thing, but IMO, overindulging IS getting drunk.

 

[Kath2003]

It may be a language thing, but IMO, overindulging IS getting drunk.

There are "degrees" of drunkenness though. For me, I'm usually only just in that I'm happy and in control, I know exactly what I'm saying, doing or thinking but I'm more relaxed and therefore can dance the night away!

I never get to the stage where I say things I shouldn't or don't want to, where I don't have the thought process of "should I have another drink or have I had enough?", where I feel sick, where I lose sense of direction, where I'm unable to walk or where I'm unconscious.

To me, those stages imply "hammered" or "paralytic".

If you have a hangover or are sick on the night, you've overindulged IMO.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

There are "degrees" of drunkenness though. For me, I'm usually only just in that I'm happy and in control, I know exactly what I'm saying, doing or thinking but I'm more relaxed and therefore can dance the night away!

I never get to the stage where I say things I shouldn't or don't want to, where I don't have the thought process of "should I have another drink or have I had enough?", where I feel sick, where I lose sense of direction, where I'm unable to walk or where I'm unconscious.

To me, those stages imply "hammered" or "paralytic".

If you have a hangover or are sick on the night, you've overindulged IMO.

Oh, ok. You seem to be talking more like being buzzed than drunk.

 

[Kath2003]

Oh, ok. You seem to be talking more like being buzzed than drunk.

If that's the term you use to describe what I wrote, yes.
On an average night out (i.e. 9pm-2am) I probably have 10-12 units over the five hours. I'll probably have 8-10 of these in the first three hours.

Basically it's a bottle and a half of wine. I'm female, 5'4" and not overweight, and I get drunk pretty easily.

 

[horseshowmom]

If that's the term you use to describe what I wrote, yes.
On an average night out (i.e. 9pm-2am) I probably have 10-12 units over the five hours. I'll probably have 8-10 of these in the first three hours.

Basically it's a bottle and a half of wine. I'm female, 5'4" and not overweight, and I get drunk pretty easily.

A bottle and a half of wine would probably make most people intoxicated. I hope you're right about always being completely in control of yourself while you're under the influence of that much alcohol, but most medical personnel would disagree with you.

As I said before, I wish you the best for your future, but the amount of alcohol you consume on a regular basis is disconcerting, and it concerns me on your behalf. Nonetheless, this is obviously an area that we probably won't reach a consensus on. Again, best wishes...

 

[LindsayDunn228]

A bottle and a half of wine would probably make most people intoxicated. I hope you're right about always being completely in control of yourself while you're under the influence of that much alcohol, but most medical personnel would disagree with you.

As I said before, I wish you the best for your future, but the amount of alcohol you consume on a regular basis is disconcerting, and it concerns me on your behalf. Nonetheless, this it obviously an area that we probably won't reach a consensus on. Again, best wishes...

Ditto what she said.

 

[Kath2003]

A bottle and a half of wine would probably make most people intoxicated. I hope you're right about always being completely in control of yourself while you're under the influence of that much alcohol, but most medical personnel would disagree with you.

As I said before, I wish you the best for your future, but the amount of alcohol you consume on a regular basis is disconcerting, and it concerns me on your behalf. Nonetheless, this it obviously an area that we probably won't reach a consensus on. Again, best wishes...

You'd be VERY concerned to know that I drink less than 90% of people I know then

You're right: we won't reach a consensus. If alcohol had ANY effect on ANY other area of my life, I would stop drinking. In the past five years is has NEVER disrupted my daily routine.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Kathy, why do you feel the need to get defensive when someone shows concern for your health and well-being?