Teens and Highway Driving

[DVCLiz]

Eek! DD17 is on the way home from spending the weekend with her big sister, who lives in another city about 3 hours away by major interstate highway. She has had her driver's license since December of 2009 - about 14 months. She has done a LOT of in-town driving and over the last year she has driven several times (a dozen or more) to a town about an hour away by the same major interstate highway (but in the opposite direction)- to visit friends who live there and shop at the "big mall."

This is the first time she's done any significant highway driving by herself, though - 3 hours instead of one. She did a great job on the way down but I will certaibnly have to occupy myself this afternoon while I know she is driving home. I'm a little nervous but I know she is a good driver and the way to get better is to have the experience.

I was talking to a friend about her plans for the weekend and she said, "Don't tell my son! I'm still not letting him drive from our town to the mall." That would be about a 20 minute drive on the highway and he is a freshman in college.

I told her I understood she had her own way of doing things but that I wanted DD17 to be an independent driver by college and to be able to drive herself back and forth, so the only way to make me comfortable and get her the experience was to let her do it. Of course I'm still nervous but how is not letting them drive until college age going to get my daughter the experience she needs? I want her to have a car at college and be able to drive herself home if she is near enough - I don't want every vacation to start and end with a 6-8 hour round trip drive for me.

What was your experience transitioning teens to independent highway driving? I know with DD22 there just came a time I felt confident and she is driving everywhere now - to Miami and WDW, Washington, DC, etc. I want to get to the same place with DD17.

 

[postage stamp]

Well I don't have teens (yet thank goodness. maybe if I wish hard enough they'll stay 4 and 6 forever?) But I remember that when I got my license that was it. I was a fully licensed driver. I had friends who weren't allowed to drive certain places and what have you, but my parent's attitude was "If we didn't think you could handle driving everywhere we wouldn't have let you get your license in the first place."

Now they didn't LIKE it when I drove on the highway and it made my mom especially nervous, But she realized I couldn't live in a bubble forever.

 

[Hannathy]

I felt more comfortable with my DD driving on the highway than in a city. Heck for the most part you stay in your lane and go straight! In her first behind the wheel in Drivers Ed they went on the high way.

I never got nervous when she was driving. Heck at 16 she drove us home from Chicago at night because I got a migraine so I figure if she can drive on Chicago highways she can handle just about anything.

PS I bet anything that Mom who thinks her son has never driven to the mall is wrong or else he has to be the wimpiest college freshman around.

 

[kacaju]

dd17 has had her license since Oct. (here in NJ, you don't get your license until 17)
She drives to school and dance here in town every day. She drives on a major Highway weekly for her 4-H meetings. I pretty much will let her drive any place she feels comfortable driving. The only time I didn't let her drive is when we have had a lot of snow. She still needs more experience before heading out in a snowstorm.

 

[DVCLiz]

I felt more comfortable with my DD driving on the highway than in a city. Heck for the most part you stay in your lane and go straight! In her first behind the wheel in Drivers Ed they went on the high way.

I never got nervous when she was driving. Heck at 16 she drove us home from Chicago at night because I got a migraine so I figure if she can drive on Chicago highways she can handle just about anything.

PS I bet anything that Mom who thinks her son has never driven to the mall is wrong or else he has to be the wimpiest college freshman around.

lol - I know she has "let" him - it was more of a rhetorical comment on her part. I know he is driving in his college town and will have a car next year and an off-campus apartment. It was just interesting to see the difference because I am much more interested in getting her to that point as quickly as possible and some of my other mom friends are not.

Anyway, she should be on the road now and I have a dental appointment at 2 so off the DIS for now!

 

[mom2travel]

DS has his permit and here you need to have it for a year before you can get a license - and I am so glad! It really gives us a chance to drive with him locally and on the highway and to get to a comfortable place. We figure that our job is to get him as much on the road experience as possible and to point out different situations and how best to react. Unfortunately, we can't control the other people on the road, so just need to trust that our kids have been given the tools to safely drive and will use them. If we can't do that, we probably shouldn't let them get their licenses

 

[stevenpensacola]

Make sure they know and understand "Slower Traffic Keep Right". Left lane is for passing.

One car dawdling along in the left lane oblivious to what's going on behind them really causes problems with traffic flow.

Need to keep up with the flow of traffic. Going too slow is as dangerous as going too fast.

Stress to them the importance of being aware of the traffic around them...especially behind them. Need to be able to discern how quickly traffic in left lane is closing if they should need to leave right lane to pass slower traffic.

 

[clh2]

Yeah mom!

My DD has had her licensce for 10 months now, and she has driven lots, lots and lots. The furthest she has driven by herself is about 1 hour, mostly freeway driving. She is getting some good "city" driving (Milwaukee) because her "not-yet-a-boyfriend" lives diagonally through Milwaukee from where we live.

My concerns are weather based.

DD has driven further distances when we've been in the car (~3 hours).

I would be OK with it - as long as the weather was OK, and if I was assured that DD would be getting a good night's sleep and be well rested. I would probably add that most of the driving time needed to be in daylight hours too.

Next summer, DD will have more priviledges for driving, (last summer, she literally ONLY had her license for a couple of months.)

I do agree - give them tons of experience driving while they are still living at home. I have 2 nieces (one is 19, the other is almost 22) and neither has their licenses yet, nor is it "in the works" as my sister and BIL are "too busy" to teach their kids how to drive. I just do not ge tthis mentality. It might work if the kids will end up in big cities with great mass transit systems, but they live in central Wisconisn, with limited mass transit systems. But I digress...I just find this sad.

 

[bitohoney]

Oh I know how you feel! DD17 has only driven locally and on the interstate from one exit to the next. When the time comes that she has to drive far, I'm going to worry! It's so hard!
I didn't drive on the interstate until I was 20, joined the AF, and moved to Idaho! It was scary and I was careful so hopefully DD will be the same.

 

[DVCLiz]

I'm back from the dentist (and I get to replace a crown next week for $1200 - yippee!!) but I haven't heard from DD yet. No news is good news - she should have left around 1pm and be home in the next 45 minutes or so. Hope all went well and she feels good about her driving skills when she gets home!!

Edited to add: home safe and sound!!

 

[mjkacmom]

When I was 17 (that's when I could get my license), I had a friend in a neighboring town, and I could get there by a highway (twisty and hilly), or a bridge. They closed the bridge due to construction, and I was afraid to drive on the highway. My dad made me, telling me my license was for local roads and highways.

 

[disfan07]

I'm 21 and my mom still worries every time I drive on the highway!

When I was 19, I had to drive 495 and 95 from Northern Virginia to Baltimore by myself once a month (and through Baltimore to get to Hopkins...now THAT was worse than the highway)

At 21 now, I live in SoCal and every friday I have to drive the 405 from Irvine to Beverly Hills (about 50 miles each way). I hate driving through Westwood and Beverly Hills more than the highway (we apparently dont believe in left turn signals around here) My mom STILL worries everytime. She makes me text her everytime.

Personally, I always find the worst part of highway driving to be getting onto the highway. After that it's a breeze.

I still hate driving long distances at night or in the rain but I'm getting better. I still refuse to drive at night when it's raining unless it is 100% necessary.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I remember when I lived in MS. years ago, we could get our permit at 14 and license at 15. I loved it, but I am sure my parents hated it. I had driven around some when they would let me, but one weekend we were going to visit my grandparents in Alabama. My dad pulled off on the side of I-20, just outside of Jackson and told me to drive to their house. I was nervous, but I did it, and I have never looked back. I felt like if I could drive on the interstate, I could drive anywhere, on any road. It really did boost my self confidence.

Now my DD has never been on the interstate before and she is scared to even try it. This is something that she is going to have to get over, because I know that she can do it. She will drive to my mothers house that is almost two hours away and there are some four lane highways, so I know that she could handle it. I just need to do like my dad did to me and put her to the test.

OP, be proud of your DD for doing this. They need to be able to drive in any condition & on all roads and highways. I am sure she will be fine.

 

[golfgal]

I felt more comfortable with my DD driving on the highway than in a city. Heck for the most part you stay in your lane and go straight! In her first behind the wheel in Drivers Ed they went on the high way.

I never got nervous when she was driving. Heck at 16 she drove us home from Chicago at night because I got a migraine so I figure if she can drive on Chicago highways she can handle just about anything.

PS I bet anything that Mom who thinks her son has never driven to the mall is wrong or else he has to be the wimpiest college freshman around.

I agree--the only "bad" part of interstate driving is getting into that "zone" where you have driven for several miles and don't remember it

Our oldest doesn't really like driving on highways. Last summer he worked several towns away and had to get used to driving on the highway so that helped. Our twins get their licenses (assuming they pass) at the end of next month. DD will want to be driving to the mall all the time so she does do a lot of that now. DS15 is more like DS18 and would prefer to just drive in town. We pretty much make them drive places where they are not comfortable so they get used to it.

I grew up driving in a metro area and spent as much time on the highways as I did on local roads so it wasn't a big deal for me. DH grew up in a small town and HATED driving on highways, etc. It wasn't until he had to for work that he really got comfortable doing so, and still is a nervous driver on the highways so I do much of that driving.

 

[NCRedding]

I'm back from the dentist (and I get to replace a crown next week for $1200 - yippee!!) but I haven't heard from DD yet. No news is good news - she should have left around 1pm and be home in the next 45 minutes or so. Hope all went well and she feels good about her driving skills when she gets home!!

Edited to add: home safe and sound!!

Now you can relax!

 

[MrsPete]

We agree with your theory: Help the child become an independant driver. Here's what we've done to make that into a reality . . .

We let her get her permit as soon as possible and allowed her LOTS of driving time. I really think parents who make their kids wait to get their driving licenses haven't thought through the idea of sending a kid away to college with only a few months of solo driving under his belt.

The first six months with her license her driving was legally limited (daylight hours, one same-aged friend), and although lots of parents blow these off as unimportant, we did not. She did well with her restricted license, so we let her move up to a full-fledged license as soon as she was able. A couple times we didn't let her drive in certain situations, even though she could legally have done so; for example, we didn't let her drive in ice and snow, and after dark we restricted her to driving only to places she already knew well (she has shown better skill in driving than in navigation, but she's improving). I've said no to a couple things that I thought were beyond her skill level; for example, when she'd had her license only two weeks she wanted to drive to an outdoor festival in a nearby city (which she doesn't know well) that has narrow, one-way streets and difficult-to-find parking.

In a couple months she'll pass the one-year license mark. At that point, we'll consider saying "yes" to short trips that include the interstate. Next year when she's a high school senior I'll let her visit friends who are away at college -- at that point I'll feel secure with her going, say, two hours away. I'll encourage her to take one friend and to leave early enough that she can arrive/park before dark.